Are you the only Single/Childless woman in your group?

[QueenHav]

I am and I was wondering how others deal with it. I can go on the record and say that ...

I don’t want to be married today.

I don’t want to be married tomorrow.



However, I don't think that I am on par with my counterparts. Right now, I am the only single friend. Right now, I’m in the minority group of not having any children. What I am saying is that I find it interesting that a lot of people are getting married, having babies, etc RIGHT NOW. It doesn’t make me think it should be happening to me. I am just really surprised that it is all happening at the same time and that I have no joyous news of my own to report.

Is anyone else out there dealing with the same situation?

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

how old ru?

 

[gabulldawg]

I'm not the only single/childless friend in my group, but the numbers are dwindling. I have another friend who is expecting a baby within the next few months.

I'm not really letting it get to me. Most of my friends who are having children aren't married, and that's definitely not how I intend on bringing my first child into the world. I also don't think I'm ready for marriage or a child right now, so I'm not in a rush for either to happen.

OP, if you're happy with your life the way it is, you shouldn't let that bother you. Do you!

 

[Bunny77]

It depends on the group I'm with.

Among my black female friends, there's about a half-half mix. But many just got married maybe 1-2 years ago, and have very young kids.

Many of my white co-workers have been married five years or so and are on their second kids. I always felt a bit out of place around them because we are the same age and they are talking about situations that I cannot relate to (but I would like to).

Actually, being around the latter group has made me become more proactive toward getting married and having children, but that's another thread.

QueenHav, if you are happy with the way your life is, it shouldn't matter what the others in your circle are doing.

 

[DarkHair]

It depends on the circle of friends.

The ones from HS, yes. I feel like I am the last one to have children. Amongst my other friends, no. I'm more than likely going to be one of the first to have a child, as we are trying. Amongst the first group, I can't relate to a lot. With the second group, I can.

 

[QueenHav]

Thanks ladies. I'm happy but I just felt a little left out. Every time I want to do something, I have to wait and see if there's a sitter available or get the A-OK from my friend's SOs. I'm in my mid 20s and I know that I'm still getting myself together. I was wondering if it was just me...

 

[jerseygurl]

I am the single one but that's about to change soon

 

[deltadreamland]

I was the last in my circle to have a child, up until three years ago, so I always felt awkward when the conversations turned to "children stuff". My son is 3.5. All of my friends' kids are ages 9 and up.

 

[Dee Raven]

I'm not the last, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was the last within the next year or two. The only thing that happens with me is that I start to question myself. I feel like maybe I'm being stagnant? But it goes away once I'm by myself again, or when I see misbehaving children.

 

[gabulldawg]

Thanks ladies. I'm happy but I just felt a little left out. Every time I want to do something, I have to wait and see if there's a sitter available or get the A-OK from my friend's SOs. I'm in my mid 20s and I know that I'm still getting myself together. I was wondering if it was just me...

It's not just you. I definitely feel like I'm behind when I look at some of my friends. I'm still in school (grad school), I don't have kids, no marriage, no house, etc. Sometimes it's easy to get down and out about it. But I know that i'm nowhere NEAR ready for that stuff and know that when I AM ready, everything will fall into place.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

AS far as all of my friends are concerned, most are childless. I am one of the few in my group in a long-term, heading for marriage serious relationship.

 

[chicitygirl]

Some of my friends are married with kids. I'd say about half of them are. But honestly, most of them only got married because they got pregnant or settled and married guys that they've admitted they don't want to really be married to and wish they could leave. I only have one friend that is happily married and that got married for love and not because there was a kid coming or because they felt it was just time to get married. So in that respect, I'm ok with being unmarried without kids because I know I'm about ten times happier than people that do it for the wrong reasons.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

No we're all single....

 

[juju]

I am the single one but that's about to change soon

Good on you girl ! go get him

 

[aa9746]

Some of my friends are married with kids. I'd say about half of them are. But honestly, most of them only got married because they got pregnant or settled and married guys that they've admitted they don't want to really be married to and wish they could leave. I only have one friend that is happily married and that got married for love and not because there was a kid coming or because they felt it was just time to get married. So in that respect, I'm ok with being unmarried without kids because I know I'm about ten times happier than people that do it for the wrong reasons.

Good for you.

 

[hopeful]

Well you know I was always the first, first to graduate college, first to get married, first to have kids, it's not all a bed of roses. When you are the first it's hard sometimes because you don't have anyone to talk to and give you "good" advice. Sometimes you feel out of place. Sometimes others are so jealous it hurts.

We all have a different and special path. I think it's just best to embrace your walk and not compare yourself to others. Just live the best life you can live.

 

[MizAvalon]

I'm not the only one but there are only a couple of us. My two closest friends don't have children but most of my acquaintances do and just about all of my cousins that I grew up with have kids.

Very few are or have been married though.

 

[jerseygurl]

At one point i was stressed about being single and almost made the worst mistake of my life. But my Creator was by my side and knocked some sense into me. That was 2 years ago and now I've found someone who genuinely loves me and wants the best for me.

 

[Nelli04]

I'm not, pretty much all my friends are single...we're all early 20's late teens.

But I think I am one of the least experienced and my fear is that one day I will be the only one who is single. I only feel this way because I am the one who goes out the least and is the most shy out of all of them.
Trying to change this..

 

[Marley4920]

Well you know I was always the first, first to graduate college, first to get married, first to have kids, it's not all a bed of roses. When you are the first it's hard sometimes because you don't have anyone to talk to and give you "good" advice. Sometimes you feel out of place. Sometimes others are so jealous it hurts.

We all have a different and special path. I think it's just best to embrace your walk and not compare yourself to others. Just live the best life you can live.

ITA with the bolded. OP try to find a new group of friends. I'm not saying forget your married friends, or friends with kids, but try to make an effort to be around other happily single people living their lives. That way you don't feel rushed or uncomfortable about being single. Enjoy your life & don't compare your life to others because you never know what goes on behind close doors.