Are you afraid to confront your man?

[MissScarlett]

I know some women are, and quite frankly, I just don't get it or why.

My gf told me she regularly snoops in her dh's wallet, email, phone, etc. I was like

She told me recently that he went on a business trip and has been texting alot with a woman he apparently met several states away. So I'm like ok, did you confront him about it (I know what's to ask)

She said no, because she didn't want him to know that she was looking in his stuff and that when you confront a man about something that' you've found via snooping, they will go off about the snooping instead of addressing the issue (I do believe this) So, I said what are you gonna do? She said she keeps reading to see if its really incriminating stuff and to see if it's 'worth it' to end her marriage over. And she said , "well she lives out of town, no way he could see her again really"

WTF kind of thnking is that?! Thiis mind you, is a very intelligent woman, I was SHOCKED that's verbalized to me that's she basically playing herself so cheap.

So if you find something out about your man, do wait to confront to see if it's 'worth it' to end your relationship? And really explain this line of thnking to me.....why would you dismiss something, whether really small or not for the sake of being married? IF I found something, no matter how small it is, why give them another chance to get more brazen or rather, do more things.

Also, what man thinks that communication with a woman, regardless of not having a physical relationship is 'no big deal' Do men really think like this? I WISH I would find something in dh's stuff regarding another woman *mutters under breath* because if I did, it woudn't be no 'waiting' to confront to 'see how serious it is'

I think the electronic age will be/is the death of relationships...sigh...

 

[lexi08]

You are so right Scarlett, cellphones, text messages, e-mail, IM's can be the devil when it comes to relationship I generally don't go looking for stuff, but if I suspect something or comes across something suspicious I confront the dude immediately. In my 20's I used to hesitate, but I learned my lesson after getting played so to speak

 

[blkbeauty]

You are so right Scarlett, cellphones, text messages, e-mail, IM's can be the devil when it comes to relationship I generally don't go looking for stuff, but if I suspect something or comes across something suspicious I confront the dude immediately. In my 20's I used to hesitate, but I learned my lesson after getting played so to speak

I agree that for the most part it comes with age. When I was in my 20’s (I am about to turn 30) I hesitated too. Although, I am still growing, I did not have a solid sense of self and that made me meek in many situations. I remember I snooped and found that my ex was talking very comfortable with a very young lady online and at first I was quiet about it, but after a couple of weeks I saw that he was still talking to her. Oneday I confronted him and would you believe that his argument was that I knew for weeks and didn’t say anything. He started to call me names like weak and “mute”. His words were cruel and the point of his cheating was redirected toward my “quietness” and the situation never got resolved properly. So now I speak my mind and speak up whether the way I found the evidence was by accident or intentional.

I hope she speaks up. A man will think she is a doormat or weak if she doesn’t. But more importantly I hope she knows her worth. And NO woman deserves to be with someone who shares himself.

 

[honeycomb719]

HA! No hesistation on my part. I dont care how I came across the info. If its something minor I might play the wait and see approach, but its depends. If its your husband he shoul dhave nothing to hide or care that you looked in his cell etc.. Its open seasonin my eyes when you married. If we sharing banking accts and last name then everything else is open too including emails, cell, whatever IMO

 

[drasgrl]

I don't snoop in my man's stuff but if I found something it would depend on what it was before I would confront him.