Other women calling your man...?

[Spongie Bloom]

how would i deal with it?? first of all iw ouldnt giv silent treatments and withold sex just cause im mad at him thats childish and not dealing with the issue talk it out if you are not in the mood take some time out and then come back and air it out this silent treatment and with holding sex does nothing for you. especially since u guys are shackin'

Him retaliating by calling up some girls first of all, if they were just platonic friends they wouldnt be aiding him in making you jealous, i have guy friends and im not at their beck and call when they have fallen out with their SO. Im afraid to say there is a lot more going on with them girls that is why he can so easily pick up the fone cause he knows theres another spot he can go to when u r not giving him wat he wants. I once had a bf who told me when we argued he gets mad and he wants company so he wants to call someone up for company, he probably expected me to to beg him not to do that, im sorry i aint gonna teach a man how to act like a human being.

These girls dont owe u anything so for you to say other women calling your man aint right, cause he answers the fone doesnt he? he calls them too doesnt he?? there are many skanks out there but they dont owe u a darn thing 'your' man allows them to interact with him and brings them into his life which ultimately means in urs too, he is the one who owes u.
I seriously dont like any drama in my life, i avoid it like the plague so i would probably deal with it differently i would ask him to stop if he doesnt then im gone no 4th , 5th chances its as simple as that, i aint gonna beg a man to do anything but i choose what kind of atmosphere surrounds me so that aint it for me.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Him retaliating by calling up some girls first of all, if they were just platonic friends they wouldnt be aiding him in making you jealous, i have guy friends and im not at their beck and call when they have fallen out with their SO. Im afraid to say there is a lot more going on with them girls that is why he can so easily pick up the fone cause he knows theres another spot he can go to when u r not giving him wat he wants. I once had a bf who told me when we argued he gets mad and he wants company so he wants to call someone up for company, he probably expected me to to beg him not to do that, im sorry i aint gonna teach a man how to act like a human being.

@ the black bolded IA 10000000000000%

As I said in the show us your men thread, my homeboy - who I've known over 5 years... will rationalize and show me the other side of the equation when DH and I have a falling out. And when he has an issue with a chick, he might vent to me, but he's NOT - with any common sense - showing and telling me he needs help making his women jealous!

 

[ReeseCup]

Well, after reading all of this and taking things into consideration, we talked about it. I told him how it makes me feel. One thing tho, he never did it in front of me, so it wasnt like he was just sitting there doing it - doesnt make the situation better or worse, but just clarifying.

Anyway, what will happen from here, I dunno. I'm tempted to call the chic and see what it is they talk about, and like one lady mentioned here, its prob me, and I know that. But anyway...

I'm goin to try and see. I dont wanna be stupid - for either reason, staying or leaving, but...

We'll see what happens.

I appreciate all your advice though.

 

[Misseyl]

I think that the act of calling other women in itself is not a crime. He may have some very solid female friends that he has had years before you and will have years after you. Relationships are transitory - you will have MANY before you find the one that is right for you and you don't just cut off and disregard your lifelong friends every time you're in one. That said though...

It seems as if he knows this bothers you and he makes a big show of doing it in front of you because he knows it HURTS you. THAT is a problem. You do not want to put all your eggs in that basket. Do not deal with ANYone who does ANYTHING to hurt you intentionally no matter how small an issue it is. They grow over time.

Similarly, you cop a tude with him and withhold sex to hurt HIM when he doesn't behave the way you want him to and that is equally wrong. Although, quite frankly, when my hubby ticks me off, I just don't WANT to touch him. I am not being evil, just not feeling it. I sense though that you may use it as some type of tool to inflict punishment. You may want to rethink that as well.

Pointing how how young/immature you are is pointless. We are all either young or used to be and we all have things to learn at any age. I'm just not seeing the "helpfulness" there.

I would go into the "you need couples counseling" bit but I just do not think he has your best interest at heart and I think you can do better for yourself so I will skip it. Good luck with whatever you decide. Keep us posted.

Bolded.. I don't know how much she has invested in this man so I'm not going to say you should dump him but what I'm saying is start forming relationships w/men and call them up when you are in the dumps, especially in front of him, whether you're happy or sad and let's see how he likes them apples.. Some men play too much games and I'm too old for that crap so I handle him the same way he handles me...

 

[Country gal]

Great advice ladies.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Well, after reading all of this and taking things into consideration, we talked about it. I told him how it makes me feel. One thing tho, he never did it in front of me, so it wasnt like he was just sitting there doing it - doesnt make the situation better or worse, but just clarifying.

Anyway, what will happen from here, I dunno. I'm tempted to call the chic and see what it is they talk about, and like one lady mentioned here, its prob me, and I know that. But anyway...

I'm goin to try and see. I dont wanna be stupid - for either reason, staying or leaving, but...

We'll see what happens.

I appreciate all your advice though.

please dont call this chic to me this just shows that u have lost control in ur own relationship, much like those women who text or call telling the other woman to stay away from their man, talk to your man not the other chic, he is the one taliig to her so he should be the one terminating the contact, he should be the one who deals with her not you. If you decide to stay and put up with this good luck

 

[syze6]

Ain't no cryin in 2009!

Okay...nip the drama, life is too precious to worry about ADULTS! Go ahead and live your live and give little to no energy to this dude! Men love drama and attention! Some are like children who are in the corner stomping and kicking behind momma back.

Once they see momma isn't paying any attention to THEIR issue, they go SAT their *** down! Move about you life as if it is your life! Use your energy for YOU!

Show him that you are not paying any attention to his anctics! He'll either get it together or you go tell dude to go play in the street with moving cars!!


"That's why I put those basters out, and that's all I'm going to say! "*exits cafeteria*