Are Some Women OK with having a piece of a relationship?!?

Amazhaan

Amazhaan

New Member
I'm just curious to know what the LHCF choir has to say on this.

Please hear me out though, I'm not trying to put anyone down, I'm just wondering how truly common this is...

So my friends and I were discussing this last night--they're all married, so we're not bitter black women or anything like that-- the topic came up because a former teammate of ours was on FB all the time about how wonderful her hubby is, me and hubby do this, we're going here... they have 2 kids and I commented on the fact that they have a perfect marriage on my eyes.

Well my BFF proceed to tell me that my former teammate calls her for advice etc, because her hubby has cheated on her twice, and they even seperated for 7 months before she got preggo with their 2nd kid... so the FB thing is just keeping up with appearances... me ----> *shocked face*

Another example is my ex-boyfriend... from 2 boyfriends ago... is still shacking up with the chic I broke up with him with. Did he cheat on me? No. He had lost his job and wasn't really in a rush to get another one... at the time he told me, that he had a lot of savings to help while he was unemployed... come to find out (after getting into his email account---this was years ago...don't judge me) she was paying all of his bills, car note, rent, insurance, cell bill... every month... but the kicker is... this chic was in another city... she knew about me... and still proceeded to help him out... when I broke up with him, because I can't be with or respect any many that would do that, plus he'd sit on his *** everyday and she would be at her job, updating his resume and applying to jobs for him--- *blank stare*... he went home to mama.... and later I found out that the chic had moved to Maryland and moved him there with her( she paid for plane tickets, train tickets, shipped his car, everything) in a 2-bedroom apt, where they each have a bedroom...

I found the latter part out because he and I still talk here and there ...and I can't even feel sorry for her anymore... he likes to basically call and brag that he loves his life... he can do whatever she wants, because she will continue to pay and won't go anywhere...

But of course on her FB page... she paints an entirely diff picture to her family and friends... smh

So basically my girls, were telling me that its more common then I'd like to believe. So I was curious to know your thoughts on this LHCF?

Do you know any women in a situation like this, where they put up with things for the sake of having a man or keeping up with appearances?!?

Have you ever been in that situation?!?

Why would anyone feel the need to do that?!?

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never known of anyone in that situation. the women in my family will divorce/beat a man that sits around and doesn't work. i've never been there and never will. i can only assume she was really desperate, i don't know.:perplexed
 
:yep: some women believe that having a piece of man is better than having no man at all. I've seen it here.... :ohwell:
 
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Of course...and don't let them mess around and have a child(ren) with that "piece of man". At that point, it's for the kids, cause they would've bounced long ago...if not for the kids sake :lol:
 
cheryl26 said:
never known of anyone in that situation. the women in my family will divorce/beat a man that sits around and doesn't work. i've never been there and never will. i can only assume she was really desperate, i don't know.:perplexed
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LMAO @ beat a man....

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I'm sure there are many living such lives, but what is classifield as a relationship in this day and age? I have seen so many variations :ohwell:.
 
-Kąditty- said:
Of course...and don't let them mess around and have a child(ren) with that "piece of man". At that point, it's for the kids, cause they would've bounced long ago...if not for the kids sake :lol:
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You forgot one key thing. Potential. He has a lot of potential, y'all don't know him like she does. Not to mention the system is working against him. :lol:
 
-Kąditty- said:
Of course...and don't let them mess around and have a child(ren) with that "piece of man". At that point, it's for the kids, cause they would've bounced long ago...if not for the kids sake :lol:
Click to expand...

Now I have seen this... or thinking a kid will change him....

I'm still in disbelief about the situation with me ex.. I mean he literally calls me 'joking' about how you have to pay to play to get with him.... he's living with her yet, on dating sites picking up chics in the DMV area... while she's flying him on trips to show off to her friends...

I remeber when we broke up and I was down on myself thinking she was "winning"... chile boo!

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I think lots of women are like this because they have low self-esteem, don't know they can do better, have seen so many dysfunctional relationships and IMO this may sound mean but they are kind of simple IMO because if you read just a little and have some type of imagination you could at least dream of and imagine a better life for yourself.
 
I'm sorry if I have to get up and go to work everyday, then every able body in the house needs to do the same even the cat has a job and best believe if i start seeing mice running around his *** will be replaced too!!
 
NYAmicas said:
Of course there are women out there who think like this & it's pathetic.
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And not just today. There are women from our mother's generation, our grandmother's generation and further that have had to deal with a "piece of a man" even when married.

I choose not to judge any woman on her relationship. I am not there when the lights go off or they are alone so I won't call them pathetic. I don't concern myself, it has nothing to do with me or my relationship with the woman.

If I am your friend, I am your friend and I will be there and not judging you. If I feel my feelings are strong against something you did, then I will back out of our friendship.

I haven't lost a friend yet.
 
Amazhaan said:
Another example is my ex-boyfriend... from 2 boyfriends ago... is still shacking up with the chic I broke up with him with. Did he cheat on me? No. He had lost his job and wasn't really in a rush to get another one... at the time he told me, that he had a lot of savings to help while he was unemployed... come to find out (after getting into his email account---this was years ago...don't judge me) she was paying all of his bills, car note, rent, insurance, cell bill... every month... but the kicker is... this chic was in another city... she knew about me... and still proceeded to help him out... when I broke up with him, because I can't be with or respect any many that would do that, plus he'd sit on his *** everyday and she would be at her job, updating his resume and applying to jobs for him--- *blank stare*... he went home to mama.... and later I found out that the chic had moved to Maryland and moved him there with her( she paid for plane tickets, train tickets, shipped his car, everything) in a 2-bedroom apt, where they each have a bedroom...

I found the latter part out because he and I still talk here and there ...and I can't even feel sorry for her anymore... he likes to basically call and brag that he loves his life... he can do whatever she wants, because she will continue to pay and won't go anywhere...

But of course on her FB page... she paints an entirely diff picture to her family and friends... smh
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This chick is mentally ill. Someone needs to place her on a 72 hour hold STAT!
 
Just because he tells you they sleep in different rooms does not mean it's true. And of course he'd paint a different picture to you because he doesn't want to look like a loser.
 
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Zuleika said:
Just because he tells you they sleep in different rooms does not mean it's true. And of course he'd paint a different picture to you because he doesn't want to look like a loser.
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Right. I am sure he is feeding the other lady lies too. She needs re-evaluate the relationship.

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Mai Tai said:
This chick is mentally ill. Someone needs to place her on a 72 hour hold STAT!
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Mai Tai and I kid u not... I am not exaggerating 1 bit... I saw emails from this broad that read like... Hey babe... its the 15th and ur car note is due... just letting u know I'm transferring the money to ur acct... don't forget to get up so u can pay it by noon... *blank stare*

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Do_Si_Dos said:
Right. I am sure he is feeding the other lady lies too. She needs re-evaluate the relationship.

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In agreeance with you both. But believe me when I saw I know its true... I have my resources... :look:

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Eh..the only thing I'll address is the facebook and appearances thing. How else should they protray their marriage? Gloom and doom? :lol: dh and I have our problems....definitely, but facebook is never the place you'd see them displayed. And posting like everything is perfect is not always appearance purpose related. For me it's picking and choosing my emotions or current feelings about things - which happen to mostly be picturesque. there's no sense in posting " ugh this Negro is worthless" when you could choose to highlight a more positive emotion. No marriage is ever how it appears from the outside.
 
Amazhaan said:
Do you know any women in a situation like this, where they put up with things for the sake of having a man or keeping up with appearances?!?

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Click to expand...
Were they the oned to tell you that thet're only doing this for appearances, or to keep a man?
For the longest time i wondered why so many people stayed together through **** i wouldnt dream of putting up with, but i've come to realise as i grow older that different people need and take/give different things in their relationships.
Its not black and white 'she only stays so she can have a man/ keep up with the joneses', its more than this...maybe there is love there, a love we may not see or understand, but they feel it or there is comfort, or they have an understanding.
People stay together for all sorts of reasons that outsiders can't understand :yawn:.
Its not up to us to determine or try to judge...
ETA: there are men in these situations too
 
People have some crazy relationships. Men and women stay through all kinds of drama, trifeness and tomfoolery. Hey, if they like it, I love it. Every woman who is settling for a broke/crazy/cheating/worthless dude... is one less woman competing for the portion of men who are worth the time and trouble. Sounds good to me.
 
LadyPaniolo said:
People have some crazy relationships. Men and women stay through all kinds of drama, trifeness and tomfoolery. Hey, if they like it, I love it. Every woman who is settling for a broke/crazy/cheating/worthless dude... is one less woman competing for the portion of men who are worth the time and trouble. Sounds good to me.
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LadyPaniolo.....Excellent Point!

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LadyPaniolo said:
People have some crazy relationships. Men and women stay through all kinds of drama, trifeness and tomfoolery. Hey, if they like it, I love it. Every woman who is settling for a broke/crazy/cheating/worthless dude... is one less woman competing for the portion of men who are worth the time and trouble. Sounds good to me.
Click to expand...

Never thought about it that way.

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I think a lot of women have been there at some point. Sometimes I cringe when I think back to the things I tolerated during my college years. Sometimes it's low self-esteem, sometimes it's just to save face. No one knows the relationship better than the two people in it
 
I agree with your girls. I think this type of stuff goes on way more then we think. A lot of women don't tell the truth about what's really going on in their relationships. But in a vulnerable moment you'll hear the truth and it will make your jaw drop and your eyes water.
 
i know some women like that..they telling me their problems yet on fb they got the greatest husband in the world lol. i just wouldnt post anything, nothing negative, nothing positive. i am friends with both the wives and husbands and either the husbands arent posting anything about their wife, or the husband is trifling as all get out, grimey and a horrible husband, but yet posting they have a great wife. yeah you do bc she putting up with your crap lol
 
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