Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
I know that you ladies aren't men but I've often wondered this: are men able to tell that you don't have confidence?
Are Men Able to See...
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Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Please expound. :scratchch
cinnespice
Hello is me your looking for?
Yes i believe they can tell. Some of them can sniff out the weak like bloodhounds and then prey on you.
Ladybelle
New Member
ITA, they can certainly tell. They also treat women based on how we allow ourselves to be treated & confidence dictates what we will or will not take.
melissa-bee
Well-Known Member
They definitly can. He told me more about myself than i ever knew.
Makenzie
Well-Known Member
Yes, they can tell. They listen to what you say, how you act. Those things translate whether you are confident or not. When you always down yourself, are always negative, not able to laugh at yourself, catty. These are some ways that show a lack of confidence.
You = Universal You
You = Universal You
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Okay this is scary! 
I've always heard that "men can sense...." blah blah blah
and I don't doubt that it's true, but what I want to know is WHAT qualities are these women exhibiting that tell men that they are "weak, unconfident, easy-prey,etc. " or what have you? I want to KNOW!!!
I've always heard that "men can sense...." blah blah blah
and I don't doubt that it's true, but what I want to know is WHAT qualities are these women exhibiting that tell men that they are "weak, unconfident, easy-prey,etc. " or what have you? I want to KNOW!!!
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
Okay this is scary!
I've always heard that "men can sense...." blah blah blah
As ASW said - it's often reflected in how you allow him to treat you.
Let's say, the first time you meet, he strolls up on you and isn't as respectful as he should be, but you laugh it off, and give him your number all the same. *ding* She doesn't demand respect from strange men.
Then, he calls and arranges a date, and expects you to pick him up. *ding* She's already willing to be at my beck and call.
Then, when you get there, he's chilling with his boys, not even ready, and you sit down to be 'polite' and chat with them. *ding* She's willing - already - to be my second/third/fourth priority.
It's in what you do, and how you carry yourself, and most importantly, in how you DEMAND to be treated by a man.
Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
I'll give an example, I often don't make eye contact with people but I've had numerous people tell me that it means I have no confidence. The problem is that isn't true, I just prefer not to make it. So, it's quite upsetting that people think I have no confidence all because I won't stare at them in the face.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
As ASW said - it's often reflected in how you allow him to treat you.
Let's say, the first time you meet, he strolls up on you and isn't as respectful as he should be, but you laugh it off, and give him your number all the same. *ding* She doesn't demand respect from strange men.
Then, he calls and arranges a date, and expects you to pick him up. *ding* She's already willing to be at my beck and call.
Then, when you get there, he's chilling with his boys, not even ready, and you sit down to be 'polite' and chat with them. *ding* She's willing - already - to be my second/third/fourth priority.
It's in what you do, and how you carry yourself, and most importantly, in how you DEMAND to be treated by a man.
Thanks for this.
This clarifies it a little more. Because what I always struggle with is knowing where to draw the line. Be nice, but not a pushover. Because sometimes I'll go OVERboard and be mean and cold in order to not get taken advantage of, but then it looks as if you're insecure and that won't attract anyone either. 
It's a VERY fine line, and some women have mastered it, and others like me....well.....we need a little work finding that "balance" I guess. I will say one thing though...I've been two extremes in different relationships. Iv'e been the "doormat"/push-over, and I've also been the "straight-shooter" take-no-prisoners type. I will say that although I may have needed to tone it down some, I felt MUCH better (and much more desired
) being the latter person. I think it's just a delicate balancing act though. Because men don't like "ugly" either though.
*5+5
New Member
Confident is something most men wish they were. They can see it coming from a mile away in a woman or a man. Ever wonder how shabby Shala keeps her a man? Men will choose a confident sub par women often over a bad bidge with luke warm confidence. Men are drawn to confidence b/c they see it as a challenge.
Why don't you like to look someone in the face. It does come across as low confidence. The only time I won't look someone in the face is when I can't stand the sight of them. If we are talking I am attentive and I look directly in their face. That translate to being caring of what someone says as well.
To answer the question, yes they can. I can see if a guy has low confidence as well. I smell. If I was evil I would use it to my advantage. It's usually in the way they act, speak about themselves(like they're unsure), try to act overly confident. etc.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
CrystalIceQueen,
I do think it's about balance. I am a friendly, nice, approachable person but once you talk to me for any length of time you know I don't entertain foolishness. I can talk to just about anyone and not be intimidated at all. I have always been like that and don't really know why, so I guess it would be hard to have to work at it. So I think balance may be key. A nice balance of sweet and outgoing, with a healthy dose of I don't play games and I only entertain those who treat me well. Or kind of icy on the outside but as soon as a person talks to you they discover how sweet you really are.
I do think it's about balance. I am a friendly, nice, approachable person but once you talk to me for any length of time you know I don't entertain foolishness. I can talk to just about anyone and not be intimidated at all. I have always been like that and don't really know why, so I guess it would be hard to have to work at it. So I think balance may be key. A nice balance of sweet and outgoing, with a healthy dose of I don't play games and I only entertain those who treat me well. Or kind of icy on the outside but as soon as a person talks to you they discover how sweet you really are.
Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
You know I really don't know, I just never have. I remember my mother saying that even as a baby I wouldn't look at people and nothing has really changed in 26 years. I can do eye contact briefly when someone is speaking to me (I'm a great listener) but overall, I just can't do the eye contact thing.
Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
See this is me
Despite the no eye contact thing, when you take the time to speak to me, I'm paying attention to you (eye wise and hearing wise).I see. I did it when I was younger until my mother brought it to my attention. She used yts in her example but she said when you look them in the eye it makes them nervous because many black don't do it. So I observed and realized that many I was seeing didn't when talking to say, a white manager. So I stopped.
Men now say my eyes call them. Then when I look them straight in the eyes it does something to them.
Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
I will say though that most men that I've encountered have no problems looking at me straight in my eyes but I'm the one who darts my eyes with the quickness first. Gosh, I'm such a weirdo
grow_N_Him09
New Member
As ASW said - it's often reflected in how you allow him to treat you.
Let's say, the first time you meet, he strolls up on you and isn't as respectful as he should be, but you laugh it off, and give him your number all the same. *ding* She doesn't demand respect from strange men.
Then, he calls and arranges a date, and expects you to pick him up. *ding* She's already willing to be at my beck and call.
Then, when you get there, he's chilling with his boys, not even ready, and you sit down to be 'polite' and chat with them. *ding* She's willing - already - to be my second/third/fourth priority.
It's in what you do, and how you carry yourself, and most importantly, in how you DEMAND to be treated by a man.
Dang, JustKiya...you broke it down Barney style
...But thanks because it looks like I really needed to know! I def learned my lesson and won't be doing some, or uh, all
of the above things again
.The next one who steps is going to have to do it right...I demand it!
grow_N_Him09
New Member
Soooo, maybe this all begs the question...if you don't got it, howdaya get it?
Confidence, that is? Or how do you at least "fake it until you make it?" I'll take either one...
Confidence, that is? Or how do you at least "fake it until you make it?" I'll take either one...
blue_flower
Well-Known Member
This one guy told me he could tell if a woman doesn't have confidence. . .he said those are the ones who are easy to sleep with.
keykee
New Member
couldn't have said it better!
Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
So, do ya'll think unapproachable might = confidence? Ok, I guess I should be more specific. What I mean is, some women are deemed unapproachable by men because they (men) can tell they (women) aren't the ones to just be a doormat therefore, they can see that the unapproachable chick has confidence.
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phynestone
Well-Known Member
^^^^I think that may be true to an extent. There are exceptions to the rule for both cases.
I think that has to be broken down more.
She is unapproachable to men who shouldn't be approaching her in the first place(the ones who don't have their stuff together, the omegas, the low confidence ones). They know they have to be on their A game for her. A real man will see it and either get his crap together before stepping to her or already have their stuff together. I think that whole "unapproachable" thing is a cop out.
Now that does not mean go around mean mugging all the time but don't get ditzy with it and fall for anything.
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