Are black women selfish about sharing hair growth info?

[greenandchic]

I share if asked. I don't do anything that above the norm. Actually the most I do is hair supplements and sulfur. Everything else is about products and care. Its no big deal.

Now when someone asks and are giving me the "you know you're mixed", "good hair", "my hair's too nappy to go natural", etc side eye, then that's when I cut it short.

 

[Solitude]

No. I turned all of my close friends on to hair boards back in 2008. They all now have SL-APL length healthy hair and most have gone natural. I asked a couple of long-haired ladies at my church about their regis and they were all flattered and very open. One woman with WL hair was very concerned that I'm "still using relaxers."

I'm vague with strangers. I just tell them I rollerset and use KeraCare. It's nobody's business how big of a PJ I am lol..,

 

[Goombay_Summer]

I've tried my best to impart hair knowledge on the ignorant masses but when I've mention washing your hair more frequently, CW, or M&S they always look at me like I've told them to sacrifice virgins or bathe in a lake during the full moon.

 

[LaughingOctopus]

I share only when asked.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

Its not that Im selfish, They are just too stubborn. (the ones that do ask)

 

[My Friend]

I'm not selfish However, I did find out the following two things on my journey:

1) After learning the hair language used on boards, I know some of "friends" know about this board and didnt share it with me.

2) People that I tried to share information with think that I am crazy. They refuse to believe black women can grow long hair, only black women with 'good hair' can grow their hair long.

 

[Blue_Berry]

I feel the same way about must ladies on here. I use to give information about hair growth, but they never like to listen to me for hair advice. I loved to talk about hair with others, but it turns out to be a negative debate on you should grease your hair, why the heck you co-wash, and etc. I hate repeating myself like a broken record about hair info. For some reason I think that one of my friend's is being competitive towards me about hair, because my hair has grown out a lot. (She never listen to me at all and think that Gro grease will help.) Like really!!!! I just trying to spread the wealth of information for you, so no one is left behind. When my hair get longer these people start to be hateful and envious. I tell these people everything and they still don't listen. I don't worry about no one else hair anymore.

 

[guyanesesista]

I don't get into detail. If asked I tell the basics about retention which is what I do anyway but I keep it rrreeaaaalllll simple. This because an ex-friend of mine would always call and ask what I did and be "writing it down" but would never employ any of the techniques and all I'd tell her to do is moisturize, seal, baggy, and once a week dc. She said she really wanted to do it cuz she saw how it was working for me. But she never did anything. She called several times for the same info and I eventually directed her to this site cuz I was tired of her crap. I bet she's still leaving in her perm for 45 mins when her hair is obviously fine and thin. My recommendation of following instructions was somehow nonsense to her ears.

Another one would chalk it up the me suddenly having good hair when she damn well can remember when my hair was jacked up. Never used the advice, always asked if I had Indian in me, and said she'd cut my hair off and after being called out for it she stopped talking to me.

Another was a friend of a friend and when I told her I was just ps'ing and moisturizing she looked at me like I was lying. I think I was supposed to say " I also rub breast milk on my scalp twice a day."

 

[nissi]

I am definitely not selfish, and have shared with many women at my church and noticed recently that about half the church is PSing!

Interesting though, a couple of times I have asked certain fellow LHCFers about salon recommendations or to share their knowledge about a particular topic in which they had expertise, and they have either avoided answering completely or played games answering... not a big deal, rather than be offended just glad to know where they stand. LHCF is not a blanket reason to help someone, and in one case the Lord let me find their answer somewhere else. But of course it's just nice to be nice...also, that was the minority as others have been very generous, so it balances out... HHG!

 

[ms-gg]

Not on the nets. People just don't want to listen and believe them. Some people think you got to drink rat piss and use monkey balls sweat in order to get long hair. They don't want to hear that it takes hard work and discipline. A lot of people don't want to work for it. They want stuff handed to them on a platter, bow wrapped and then they want you to take the bow off for them and spoon feed it to them one bite at a time. It ain't like that. You have to put in some work.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I share what I know and hope to get the same in return. If not, I'll move on.

 

[lesedi]

I am starting to be a lil selfish with non-family because I have been called obsessed and told that i 'carry on like i have white girl hair'. I googled to find out about haircare, everyone has internet access so they need to look it up.

I cringe though when i hear that my friend is relaxing from root to tip; not neutralizing etc...but i did tell her and she said she had strong hair and she could take it. Then why hasn't your hair grown since '07 boo?

 

[lovegymnasts]

They ask
I tell
I even type it out for them
I even give some of them products
They think it is too much work and don't listen
They continue to complain about the condition of their hair...but continue to say that they do not want to have to do anything to it for as long as possible

I stop listening and I move on

In regards to hair, most (if not all) of the black women I know are complacent and apathetic about their hair.
Yet, strangely and conversely, they will slap/use anything that has grow/gro, food, African, or miracle in it's name on their head although they never see any improvement. In most cases their hair gets worse.

Again, I stop listening and I move on

 

[BlackHairDiva]

No, sometime you share, often what happen the person insults you back while you see clearly that she is using what you are using. So no I dont share!!!

 

[Imani]

I share if asked and only vague info at first and only details when asked. And I never mention this site, I may vaguely just mention the internet.

I like to share bc its very obvious that my hair is fine, kinky 4b and my hair has never been long not even as a child, so people cannot use the "good hair" excuse. I like to let folks know that you don't have to have a certain type of hair for your hair to be long.

However, what happens is that people are not willing to do what it takes so its usually wasted breath anyway. Some folks hair simply can't take chemicals or lots of heat, and they are not willing to give that up. Nor are they willing to protective style and many other things. They are like "guuurl, that is just too much work!"

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I do share but folks either say it's to much to do or they say I have nice hair anyways.

 

[TLC1020]

If asked I share but other than that I say nothing..

People think it's a quick fix and it is not, some women don't listen when you tell them so I don't waste my time or energy.

 

[cocosweet]

On the net, I have no problem sharing. IRL, I'm more selective. If I know for a fact that the person asking is just looking for a magic bullet, I keep things really simple. All the growth aid in the world won't make a difference if you're hell bent on abusing your hair.

It irks me when people say it's too much to do. Anything worth having takes effort.

 

[sweetlaughter]

I don't share anymore IRL. In the beginning I was so excited that I shared all the time but people would look at me like you're hair hasn't grown (I was transitioning and slowly cutting off my relaxed ends when they weren't just breaking off).

So... I learned to keep my mouth shut about it. Now that my hair is APL on its way to BSL for the first time ever when I do straighten it people wanna listen to me but my mouth is shut. Besides, my megatek protein treatment that "strengthens hooves" is staying a secret.

I also saw like many others here have seen that people want a grow hair to their but in a day fix. For instance in the beginning (right after I fully went natural) I told my friend about eating more protein and a few days later she came back to me saying it was taking too long for her hair to grow.

 

[empressri]

I try to be generous...but then folks eyes start glazing over cause they want to hear the ONE miraculous thing that I did to maintain my hair, not steps and changes in my regimen and whatnot...and it gets tiring after awhile.

 

[Guitarhero]

Sure, I tell them, "I stopped cutting it."

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I share on here and with other naturals who ask my advice. A lot of times people ask but when your tips don't include a magic spell their eyes glaze over. I try to pre-judge before I give answers.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

 

[Tiye]

My care methods aren't exactly secrets. I didn't invent or discover henna, coconuts or vitamins, etc. - I just use 'em. I'll share generalized info with anyone who asks. But everyone's hair is different - so not everything I do will work for someone else in the same way that I do it. Now if you want customized info specific to your hair - then I'd have to charge.

 

[sylver2]

not anymore. no one irl ever wants to hear how hard i worked on my hair. regimens, etc.
tired of the glazed looks, u just got good hurr or im not doing all of that comments.

 

[SuchaLady]

I always share when asked What is there to be selfish over? It's not like I've found a cure for cancer and want to keep it to myself.

Sent from my DROID3 using DROID3

 

[Almaz]

Naw no one acts me anyway cause they just chock it up to having "Good Hair" so folks never ask me. Would they listen anyway probably not

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

Some women don't have anything to share. In real life, the people that I know with long hair don't do anything special to it. They usually always had long hair. One thing that I do notice among most of them is low manipulation.

 

[Jasmataz]

I do sometimes, but like many others have already said, most women irl aren't interested in putting in the hard work or dedication to grow hair. They want that magic secret. Either that, or they'll chalk it up to something other than good hair care. For me, most folks chalk my length up to me being pregnant last year. Yes, I got a little extra length but I didn't go from neck length to armpit length all within those 9 months (I wish lol).

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

Lol depends on how interested the person is. Some people ask for the correct reasons, and so I'll tell them 100% what I do, and what things they ought to cut out to help their hair recover.

But then you have THOSE that ask simply because they think a) your hair is a weave and this is a perfect time to sneak in a hand through your hair or b) you have some 'non black' ancestor who's magically contributing to your hair growth!

If someone is earnestly wanting to know, then I will spill my regimen, whereas anyone who's shady I barely did them the time of day lol.

So for those

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I share...to a point, I check their facial expressions, their reactions and either go into more detail or give the bare minimum. I honestly like sharing but people really believe they are doing their all to grow and have healthy hair. One co-worker said i have good hair...at the time i was APL...I'm like no...this is the same nappy hair u called it when I chopped it off 18 mos prior...the same thick course hair you were claiming I had when I was transitioning and needed a perm. But cause I done caught and passed yours its "good hair?" sooo.......... yeah even when asked i keep it short n sweet.


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