Anyone Ever Dated A Police Officer??
- Thread starter Dalisha
- Start date
sj10460
Don't Come for me unless I send for you!
I probably would have in the past but aint no way in hell I would do so now.
and the crazy thing is I have had two different white police officers damn near stalk me online dating with multiple messages from multiple profiles. if any of yall are in my city yall must have had the same guy harass yall too because it was clearly just because im black. I asked him at least three times whether he remembered that hed messaged me before.
anyway im pretty sure I asked this question in ot before and generated a long thread, but searching on mobile isnt bringing it up for me. ill get back to you if I find it
found it
https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/would-you-date-a-cop.734053/
I said cop not police
I clicked that thread to see if I replied and yup I did...
...I wouldn't recommend anyone to actively seek out men in that profession or to engage in a relationship with then other than a platonic one. Cops or LE personnel are great friends to have...but extremely hard to be in a relationship with one. It's not so much the profession but the attitude that comes with a person in that type of profession. It takes an extreme amount of patience, resilience, compromise and understanding. Any relationship requires work and dedication but there's a certain type of tenacity you need in order to deal with the personality a man will have in LE. It can become overwhelming dealing with a hyper-vigilant personality type. They are always at work, even when they are off, subconsciously they are always in a flight or fight state of being. They ALL share that similar trait as do most military men. It's no coincidence that there is a huge overlap with LE and military personnel. I have a family member who was married to a police officer. They dated in high school before he joined and he appeared to be a nice, normal guy.
They married in their mid twenties. after 5 years in the force he changed. When she was pregnant she loaned a family member some money without his consent and he picked up a knife to cut her up and she begged him not to kill her baby. She left him not too long after that. He never hit her but he was vile in other ways and almost killed her with the knife.
She said his eyes glazed over and it was as if he became someone else when he approached her with the knife. Then after her screams and begging he snapped back into reality. By the way he chose not to have a relationship with his son despite her encouragement.
They married in their mid twenties. after 5 years in the force he changed. When she was pregnant she loaned a family member some money without his consent and he picked up a knife to cut her up and she begged him not to kill her baby. She left him not too long after that. He never hit her but he was vile in other ways and almost killed her with the knife.
She said his eyes glazed over and it was as if he became someone else when he approached her with the knife. Then after her screams and begging he snapped back into reality. By the way he chose not to have a relationship with his son despite her encouragement.
PeaceLover
Well-Known Member
I've dated one that didn't fit the stereotype, but it didn't work because he was kind of corny and annoying lol! The guy you're speaking of sounds controlling though...
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
God Forbid.
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
Law enforcement can change a person. Yes it can attract a certain type of personality...but it can also alter a personality as well. And it's not just cops..but a lot of other authority type of figure. My fam is nothing but cops, correction officers, court officers, a warden, state troopers, etc. And the extended family as well. My gma knew my father before he went into law enforcement and said it changed him. My ex changed when he became nypd. Before that he was a computer tech.
I can't say all of them are cheaters or women beaters...that's QUITE a blanket statment from my experience. Having a profession that has you on alert all the time. Regulating, controlling, commanding people or inmates for 10+ hours a day can really fluck wit your mind when u come home. I actually talked my last ex outta being a CO cuz I knew he would seriously hate it. His heart is too open and big for that job. My own father was sometimes a monster when he was working. He calmed down a lot since he retired. I said all of this to say no I would not date someone in law enforcement. Lol
I can't say all of them are cheaters or women beaters...that's QUITE a blanket statment from my experience. Having a profession that has you on alert all the time. Regulating, controlling, commanding people or inmates for 10+ hours a day can really fluck wit your mind when u come home. I actually talked my last ex outta being a CO cuz I knew he would seriously hate it. His heart is too open and big for that job. My own father was sometimes a monster when he was working. He calmed down a lot since he retired. I said all of this to say no I would not date someone in law enforcement. Lol
fatimablush
Well-Known Member
no..how long has she been seeing him?
it sounds like she should have left him awhile ago.
ETA: Twingurl dated one...i hated him on site. he would come over and act like he lived
in our house. he tried to change the locks on the door so i wouldn't be able to come inside
and he would always be outside waiting for her when she came home from work.
he also said nurses and cops have he best relationships....
it sounds like she should have left him awhile ago.
ETA: Twingurl dated one...i hated him on site. he would come over and act like he lived
in our house. he tried to change the locks on the door so i wouldn't be able to come inside
and he would always be outside waiting for her when she came home from work.
he also said nurses and cops have he best relationships....
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
They can be difficult. Plus all the ones I know have secret families or are just generally big tim cheaters. The scheduling aspect makes it easier to hide I think.
Dalisha
Well-Known Member
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
men are weak. which is to say, as a whole, weaker than women, as a whole.
PretteePlease
#fakeworkouts
the saying is Police Beat & Firefighters Cheat
I dated a Constable he was the type to send subliminal domineering messages. Like his business card on my front door. Talking about did you get the card I thought he meant a greeting card which i thought was crazy but the business card was even worse
I dated a Constable he was the type to send subliminal domineering messages. Like his business card on my front door. Talking about did you get the card I thought he meant a greeting card which i thought was crazy but the business card was even worse
PhonyBaloney500
Well-Known Member
PretteePlease
#fakeworkouts
BEECH I'M THE POLICE AND I CAN POP UP ON YOUR ARSE AT ANY TIME. YOU BET NOT HAVE NO NOTHER NINJAS OVER HERE.
The crazy thing is I found out he was MARRIED!!!!! How you trying to put me on lockdown you you married
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
I said it before regarding cops. No.
Second in line are any type of psychotherapist. No.
Second in line are any type of psychotherapist. No.
weeks?! Oh c'mon now. Im sure she's dumped men she dated longer for less offensive ish. I surely have. Shes got her red flag...
khadicurls
Well-Known Member
She needs to run!
I was in a relationship with a cop. He was emotionally abusive. He did so much to me. It took years before I could recognize myself again. I had to go to therapy. But let him tell it, I was evil and mean to him. I will never again date someone in LE.
I was in a relationship with a cop. He was emotionally abusive. He did so much to me. It took years before I could recognize myself again. I had to go to therapy. But let him tell it, I was evil and mean to him. I will never again date someone in LE.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
What the frick *****?! My goodness some people are so cray!
Eta: don't know why that was bleeped. I did not curse. I just said frick f.r.a.c.k. :/
MyCoilsGoBoing
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I have. They were nice guys with huge personality flaws. Two are cheaters and the other is a commitment phobe.
Hairsnob
Deep Thinker
Just a first date and I knew right then it wouldn't work. First, he drove his car like a bat out of hell weaving in and out of traffic and stopping within inches of the bumper of the car in front of us. I couldn't breathe the whole ride to the movies.
I never told him where I lived because I'm paranoid like that. So I drove my car to his house and he drove his car to the date. So why did he call me a few days later telling me he thought he'd give me a call because he was driving by and saw my car outside? So obviously he ran my plates to find out where I lived and I knew right then I couldn't see anybody like that.
Then imagine when you break up and having to deal with them finding ways to harass you. No thanks!
I never told him where I lived because I'm paranoid like that. So I drove my car to his house and he drove his car to the date. So why did he call me a few days later telling me he thought he'd give me a call because he was driving by and saw my car outside? So obviously he ran my plates to find out where I lived and I knew right then I couldn't see anybody like that.
Then imagine when you break up and having to deal with them finding ways to harass you. No thanks!
Supervixen
Well-Known Member
>>>>><<<<< Never ever again will I do that. They make you feel like any feelings you have are invalid and just always think their way is right. I stuck around for a looooooong time and after years of listening to textbook BS, I was out.
Family always stressed to never date a cop, plus I've never met one I was interested in.
A guy friend of mine was dating a cop. One night she was on duty, she saw him and another lady he was dating come out of a bar. She followed them back his house and told my friend if the other lady came out and got in her car she was arresting her and charging her with DUI. She sat posted up in front of his house (somehow) until her shift was over. Yikes right!
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
Yep. I hear therapists are bat **** crazier than their patients! I dont need experience with that to find out.
Lady cops off the rails too huh? I guess the job changes ppl...or maybe attracts the slightly unbalanced or both.
SlimPickinz
Summer where are you?
Does the same apply to Corrections? Run like hell?
Eta: well I should have finished reading. Hmmmm
Eta: well I should have finished reading. Hmmmm
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Dalisha
Well-Known Member
Yes, I was concerned about that for my friend... She never told him where she lived, and when she ended things with him recently, he said he didn't understand and he'd be over to discuss.... She was like you don't know where I live and he replies "Yes, I do... I've been there before" she immediately blocked his number and now they don't talk... But who knows if he's stalking her currently... I told her to watch her back and carry mase or something ....
Cops are cray cray
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gn1g
Well-Known Member
Yes. Not good.
Sneaky, cheaters always trying to tear at your self esteem. I'm a little OCD but he was not clean. I think this is with all of them, they don't mind mixin it up with strangers, touching people, screwing strangers, drinking after you etc. He would turn into super man when he put his uniform on. and I loved going places with him while he was in his uniform, you get treated first class everywhere and felt very safe, but pysco's always wanted to run up to him and tell him something strange and crazy. Plus he was very very cute/handsome so women always hit on him.
I believe he could be abusive, I'm very strong. you can't break me down. and One time he said your self confidence is way up there. Yep, buddy you got that right. I'm not weak minded. All of his friends tried to hit on me and he would get mad at me.
Sneaky, cheaters always trying to tear at your self esteem. I'm a little OCD but he was not clean. I think this is with all of them, they don't mind mixin it up with strangers, touching people, screwing strangers, drinking after you etc. He would turn into super man when he put his uniform on. and I loved going places with him while he was in his uniform, you get treated first class everywhere and felt very safe, but pysco's always wanted to run up to him and tell him something strange and crazy. Plus he was very very cute/handsome so women always hit on him.
I believe he could be abusive, I'm very strong. you can't break me down. and One time he said your self confidence is way up there. Yep, buddy you got that right. I'm not weak minded. All of his friends tried to hit on me and he would get mad at me.
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
I had a similar situation but this guy was a sheriff. He was trying too hard to rush the relationship to a place of familiarity and comfort (that is such a great way that you put that... I had a hard time articulating it) but I ran far and fast and ended up telling him that I had gotten back with my ex which was a lie.
giigii613
Well-Known Member
lol I just faded to black on him which means he still texts me out of the blue and I forget I'm talking to someone I have no interest in and I have to replay the fade.
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
A good friend was engaged to a cop years ago. I found him controlling....and he cheated multiple times.
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