Anyone Ever Dated A Police Officer??

[Dalisha]

If so, what was your experience like??

A friend of mine has been hanging with an officer but says is uncomfortable with how he speaks to her/ or seems to always want to be in control of everything she does... For instance, he wanted her to spend time with him yesterday, she told him that she had something planned and that she'd see him the next day; when she called to see if he was available the next day, he simply stated " I hope you had fun with whomever you were with and I hope he was worth it" (They aren't in a relationship, but they've been out on multiple dates and talk regularly..)

I told her to leave him alone as there seems to be insecurities and power issues that he's struggling with which are red flags to me...

 

[CaraWalker]

I probably would have in the past but aint no way in hell I would do so now.

and the crazy thing is I have had two different white police officers damn near stalk me online dating with multiple messages from multiple profiles. if any of yall are in my city yall must have had the same guy harass yall too because it was clearly just because im black. I asked him at least three times whether he remembered that hed messaged me before.

anyway im pretty sure I asked this question in ot before and generated a long thread, but searching on mobile isnt bringing it up for me. ill get back to you if I find it

found it

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/would-you-date-a-cop.734053/

I said cop not police

 

[quirkydimples]

I was part of a single mothers group (for a day) through my church and several of them had been married to or dated police officers and fire fighters. According to them, what they say is true:
Firemen cheat
Police officers beat

 

[MzLady78]

I would never. I'm usually not the type to generalize, but every cop *I* know is a cheater. And a blatant one at that, they don't even try to hide the side chicks.

I was actually told by one to never date them.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

I did for a couple of years, nice enough guy but the drinking and the control issues and being right 100% of the time was to much. It was never loud it was very subtle.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Occupation aside, the guy in the op sounds abusive.

No, I would not date a cop.

 

[TayMac]

I have not (and likely would not). Also I agree that guy is throwing up a huge red flag with his remark. In fact, I'd probably want to cease dating him immediately.

 

[BlueEra]

I dated a cop. He was pretty chill and protective of those close to him, but never overbearing or cocky. He was a cheater though. I had known him for a long time, and he had been a cheater long before he became a cop.

 

[ArrrBeee]

My coworker was married to an abusive one who stalked her after the divorce. Who could she call for help? No one.

 

[Foxglove]

If he's this controlling while they're just "talking" imagine how much more controlling he will be when he gets comfortable

 

[LivingInPeace]

Yes. He was so sexy! I'm talking coming to my office, making me do completely innappropriate things in the workplace...yeah. Memories y'all!

 

[Nalin]

Yes. He was so sexy! I'm talking coming to my office, making me do completely innappropriate things in the workplace...yeah. Memories y'all!

I have great memories too! I think what set him apart is that his life didn't center around being a cop.

It sounds the dude being described by the OP is just an a-hole and would be one regardless of occupation.

 

[giigii613]

I dated one back in the day. He was actually testing for SWAT a the time we started dated. Overall, he was kind and thoughtful but he wanted to rush our relationship into a place of comfort, trust and dependency before I felt comfortable. I had to get up out the situation I felt like he needed a therapist more than a woman.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

She needs to run. Like now. And if she stays....welp.

Unless she likes that toxic volatile stuff....

 

[Dposh167]

i come from an entire family of law enforcement. But i wouldn't date anyone in it

 

[daydreem2876]

The lady I was renting my apartment from had recently broken up with an officer. When she got a new boyfriend, that's when the harassment started. He was so bad about it, I found this poor child shaking, in tears on the porch and we couldn't even call the police expecting help.

Granted, he was a controlling a** without a badge but it was his "above the law" attitude that made him frightening

 

[Dalisha]

Thanks ladies, I appreciate all the responses!!!!

 

[YaniraNaturally]

Never. My uncle was a cop (he got his pension and ran) and he made all of us promise to never date LO.

My uncle is great and I always thought it was strange, until I got older. No thanks!

 

[sweetvi]

If so, what was your experience like??

A friend of mine has been hanging with an officer but says is uncomfortable with how he speaks to her/ or seems to always want to be in control of everything she does... For instance, he wanted her to spend time with him yesterday, she told him that she had something planned and that she'd see him the next day; when she called to see if he was available the next day, he simply stated " I hope you had fun with whomever you were with and I hope he was worth it" (They aren't in a relationship, but they've been out on multiple dates and talk regularly..)

I told her to leave him alone as there seems to be insecurities and power issues that he's struggling with which are red flags to me...

I dated one once a few years ago and if he is starting like this then my advice is to run. He used to make me feel awful just for even hanging out with my family and would be vindictive if certain things didn't go his way. All my time off of work had to be with him and he needed me to act or look a certain way for his image lol. When we got into arguments, he would yell so loud that I never got a word in. He ended up breaking up with me over the silliest reason, and I think it was to teach me a lesson and have me crawling back per se. I ran like the wind n never looked back. He eventually tried to come back a few mths later...helll no. I'm glad that nightmare was over.

So morale of the story....not all r like that but if he is showing signs very early then don't ignore it.

@Dalisha

 

[sweetvi]

Don't forget about the things they go through in their line of duty. Murders, dead bodies,etc

 

[tru4reele]

My friend dated one. He used to wait outside her house in his car to make sure she came home when she was supposed to.

 

[natural in ATL]

My relative is married to one. Cheated on her before they were married (she told me herself) and after they were married (I saw him and the girl out on a date). He really put her through a lot and I'm sure I don't know the half of it.

After that, I vowed to never date a cop.

 

[sgold04]

I've heard too many stories of stalking and intimidation post-break up to date one. You can't call the cops on them, because homies. I say nope. Especially if he's already exhibiting the signs of being controlling. I know one who is a good dude all around. One.

 

[JFK]

Hmmm. What if you're cool with the dominating aspect in certain situations but let them know you don't want anything serious?

I wonder if they'll still be trying to harass/stalk when you end it.

 

[daydreem2876]

Hmmm. What if you're cool with the dominating aspect in certain situations but let them know you don't want anything serious?

I wonder if they'll still be trying to harass/stalk when you end it.

Me personally... I don't think you can have it both ways with this particular personality type when it comes down to the actual relationship (read: everything but sex).

 

[GraceJones]

I went on a couple dates with one and he seemed really controlling. Like certain things he wouldn't take no for an answer. Real entitled and had a sense of superiority because he grew up bougie

 

[ommns]

My uncle was a cop, he is now retired. Although we were not that close growing up, he is an overall nice guy. I don't know whether he has cheated or not but he does not have any of the personality traits that I see mentioned here.

 

[firecracker]

Run........................

 

[Kindheart]

Never. My uncle was a cop (he got his pension and ran) and he made all of us promise to never date LO.

My uncle is great and I always thought it was strange, until I got older. No thanks!

i come from an entire family of law enforcement. But i wouldn't date anyone in it

Why yall vague lol ,share the Reasons why

 

[Fine 4s]

This one was State Police.
Far from woman beater or aggressive personality. Didn't fit the stereotype all.
Never caught him cheating but he loves the ladies so probably did and I would never know.
He thoroughly enjoyed the attention he got from women and responded and communicated with several women. With all that energy going around, I had to peace out. I had never heard about their rep but I don't think I'd do it again.
I also dated a firefighter and yeah, lots of cheating going on in that circle.
I'm all set.