Another Rude Wedding Request

B

bluewater01

New Member
I know I posted the other day about this very topic, but I just had to post what just happened.

My mom's college friend of over 45 years called when she received her invitation and asked if her "boyfriend" could be invited. When my mother told her no, she said that she would pay for his ticket. Then she added that if he couldn't come then she would not be coming either. My mother was so hurt by this. She couldn't believe that her friend put her in this awkward position. Then to top it off, my mom doesn't even like her boyfriend.

My mother is considering inviting him anyway because she doesn't want to lose her lifelong friendship, but I question her friend. I mean how can she even threaten not to come? That is beyond rude to me, but mean and selfish.

I heard the other day that weddings bring out the worst in people and I am really finding how true that is.
 
Ugh. No. There is no WAY I would give in to inviting this woman's boyfriend. She can stay home. :nono: Esp. since your mom doesn't like him, and after 45 YEARS of friendship? :nono: That's ridiculous.
 
Yeah. Makes me question what kind of friend she really is. Because if it was my best friend from college, I would be understanding and come alone. I mean I'm her friend. My man should have nothing to do with it.
 
Man, that woman got BIG BRASS ones to make a demand like that. She will be missed at the wedding. She doesn't sound like a good friend to me.
 
The friend would get the :rolleyes: followed by the :hand:

It's one thing if the friend didn't know and just showed up with him, it's quite another if the friend asks and your mom specifically said no. If I'm paying out the nose for a wedding, I have every right to decide who is allowed to come and who is not. If someone doesn't like it, :peace: they can stay their monkey arses at home.
 
It's your wedding don't cave in.
When my friend got married last year she invited another friend. And because her boyfriend was not invited she didn't come. No reply nothing.
My whole thing is its your mom's friend and if she not blessed that you sent an invitation only to her but not her boyfriend then thats on her. You don't have to invite him if you don't want too.
 
nappystorm said:
The friend would get the :rolleyes: followed by the :hand:

It's one thing if the friend didn't know and just showed up with him, it's quite another if the friend asks and your mom specifically said no. If I'm paying out the nose for a wedding, I have every right to decide who is allowed to come and who is not. If someone doesn't like it, :peace: they can stay their monkey arses at home.
Click to expand...

That's the thing though. She offered to pay for him which I also think is insulting. I mean jeez is my wedding THAT serious for people? LOL.
 
I think that the guest was in the wrong because 45 years of friendship is too long to miss your close friend's big day for a boyfriend. That said, if I was invited to a wedding by a colleague, associate or a new friend, then i would not go if i couldn't bring a plus1 or my SO.
 
nappystorm said:
The friend would get the :rolleyes: followed by the :hand:

It's one thing if the friend didn't know and just showed up with him, it's quite another if the friend asks and your mom specifically said no. If I'm paying out the nose for a wedding, I have every right to decide who is allowed to come and who is not. If someone doesn't like it, :peace: they can stay their monkey arses at home.
Click to expand...

See, I don't like the bolded. Why come to a wedding you weren't invited to? Reply cards have the # of people being invited. I get really irked when people feel they can just bring someone. And then that someone comes right along.:nono::nono:
 
OK... if this woman was your mother's true friend, she would not let something as petty as her boyfriend not being invited to your wedding.

Grown Folks, I tell ya... :nono:
 
If my invitation didn't specify +1, it would never dawn on me to ask or show up w/ another person. WOW. PEOPLE. SMH
 
bluewater01 said:
That's the thing though. She offered to pay for him which I also think is insulting. I mean jeez is my wedding THAT serious for people? LOL.
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I meant if I'm paying for wedding. I'll be damn if someone forces me to look at Tyrone's dusty, trifling behind if I don't want to. No maam:nono:
 
What's up with all the I'll pay for my uninvited guess to come to the weddings business? Do people really want to go to a wedding that bad?
 
^^^^^^^My beef is with your mum's friend not her boyfriend. SHE was the one who made ultimatums/threats. Your mother may not like her friends' man but her friend was the one who f'd up in this situation. The man owes your mother nothing. Her friend owes her everything.
 
Girl... let me get back to this... my mom and I are now fighting over locations and guest lists.... lawd lawd lawd...
 
I am so angry at this ish. I would not care about losing her as a friend because she is not a true friend. I would have been like "oh, your not going to attend if your boyfriend can't? Oh, okay see you round duces."

People are a hot mess!!!:nono:

bluewater01 said:
I know I posted the other day about this very topic, but I just had to post what just happened.

My mom's college friend of over 45 years called when she received her invitation and asked if her "boyfriend" could be invited. When my mother told her no, she said that she would pay for his ticket. Then she added that if he couldn't come then she would not be coming either. My mother was so hurt by this. She couldn't believe that her friend put her in this awkward position. Then to top it off, my mom doesn't even like her boyfriend.

My mother is considering inviting him anyway because she doesn't want to lose her lifelong friendship, but I question her friend. I mean how can she even threaten not to come? That is beyond rude to me, but mean and selfish.

I heard the other day that weddings bring out the worst in people and I am really finding how true that is.
Click to expand...
 
lesedi said:
^^^^^^^My beef is with your mum's friend not her boyfriend. SHE was the one who made ultimatums/threats. Your mother may not like her friends' man but her friend was the one who f'd up in this situation. The man owes your mother nothing. Her friend owes her everything.
Click to expand...


Either way both of them would not be invited:lachen::lachen:
 
lesedi said:
^^^^^^^My beef is with your mum's friend not her boyfriend. SHE was the one who made ultimatums/threats. Your mother may not like her friends' man but her friend was the one who f'd up in this situation. The man owes your mother nothing. Her friend owes her everything.
Click to expand...

I know. My mom is taking out all of her anger on him and I made sure that she knew that he had nothing to do with it. She needs to be angry at her friend.
 
I do think it's totally rude. But there were several people who ended up RSVPing with a plus one at my wedding, and I just let it go (I did no plus ones on the invite). Also a few people did bring plus ones that were never RSVP'd for (one of my bridal party was incensed with one gal who brought her cousin. My DH must have invited the gal, because I didn't send her an invite).

In the end, it didn't really matter--it all balanced because some people who were supposed to bring another person came solo. I was too excited on my own wedding day to worry about all that anyway.

So, you're not obligated to extend an invite to someone didn't want to be invited. But you as the bride/groom should make the decision--if it's not a huge inconvenience, sometimes it's just as easy to let these sort of things go.
 
If I was invited to a wedding by someone I had been friends with for that long I would hope she would allow me (her special and dearest friend) to bring my bf. She is not just anybody or a new friend or an associate so I can see why she would feel comfortable making the request. Offering to pay is a bit much though...However it is not worth losing a friend over. I hope your mother or the friend bends a little for the sake of the friendship.

After re-reading I can't tell if this woman is just an old friend or if she is a close friend also. Either way I do think it was wrong of her to threaten to not attend.
 
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Ugh.... some people! bottom line, if she feels that way then she don't have to be there either. She needs to get over herself. Its YOUR wedding.

All these wedding threads are making me dread announcing our engagement soon. We've kept it a secret for months already because I SOO don't want to deal with all this nonsense from people.
 
Bunny77 said:
Girl... let me get back to this... my mom and I are now fighting over locations and guest lists.... lawd lawd lawd...
Click to expand...
That is why I did a no fuss no muss destination wedding and if I get married again I will do another destination wedding. Like someone mentioned the wedding is about the bride, groom and their GOD. All of that pomp and circumstance is not necessary for me. Actually my destination wedding was not a surpise to anyone because folks know I am very low key.
 
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