Ambw: Asian Men Black Women Communities

[yardyspice]

I think any group to meet a specific race is lame. (I'm also against online dating so feel free to ignore what I have to say )

Non-Jamaican Asian men aren't my cup of tea but I would never tell a black woman (esp. here) to not date/marry while waiting for someone who may never come.

 

[doriannc]

The two Asian guys I dated and the third who was a booty call all had inferiority complexes when it came to black men. It was sad.

Yep my last bf was Asian and we dated for almost 2 years. They seem to only want to support you financially, but being there emotionally is something they can't do. My ex HAD to be better than everyone else. On paper he was the greatest bf ever until emotional stuff came into play.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I think any group to meet a specific race is lame. (I'm also against online dating so feel free to ignore what I have to say )

Non-Jamaican Asian men aren't my cup of tea but I would never tell a black woman (esp. here) to not date/marry while waiting for someone who may never come.

tell me more...

 

[yardyspice]

tell me more...

I came to the conclusion when a couple of my friends were online dating that men and women have two opposing reasons for being online. Women are looking for love and intimacy while men are looking for you know what. I've heard someone else on the radio say the same thing so I don't feel so crazy. If I were single, I would join a bunch of orgs to meet someone in person. I suppose this makes me sound like an old fart but we are animals and no amount of technology is going to change that.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I came to the conclusion when a couple of my friends were online dating that men and women have two opposing reasons for being online. Women are looking for love and intimacy while men are looking for you know what. I've heard someone else on the radio say the same thing so I don't feel so crazy. If I were single, I would join a bunch of orgs to meet someone in person. I suppose this makes me sound like an old fart but we are animals and no amount of technology is going to change that.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel. If you want to smash, then by all means finding a guy online will be pretty easy. If you want more than that , good luck. Sure some get lucky but for the most part that is indeed the case. That's from previous personal and 3rd party experience.

 

[nyeredzi]

Damn, and it's still 2 black women for every Asian man in those photos! That's not a come up. Oh well

I will refrain from relaying my own am stories ...

 

[Ogoma]

If it were an Asian Women/Black Men group, no one will assume they are dating based on their combined inferiority.

If they are happy, I am happy for them. The nitpicking at black women is tiring.

 

[PretteePlease]

I went out with Billy he was tall 6ft+ and thick and tried to give me the _________ he was hot but too thirsty chinese/vietnamese

I went out with Jamal 6ft+ fine as F sexy as hell the tension with him was over the moon I'd marry his ast tomorrow he is Indian/Iranian

I went out with a stereotypical chinese dude short nerdy etc but it was only because I wanted to see Harry Conick Jr he tried to kiss me I almost died

My preference is black but if a dude is tall and smart and has money I don't care where he is from but I will not be anyone's fetish

I met them all online

 

[Femmefatal1981]

If it were an Asian Women/Black Men group, no one will assume they are dating based on their combined inferiority.

If they are happy, I am happy for them. The nitpicking at black women is tiring.

Other assumptions would be made, like the ones in the OP about Asians women being submissive, or black men being controlling and wanting a submissive women. Both things I have read here and heard IRL specifically regarding black men in the service returning from Korea and Tokyo with local women.

 

[Miss_C]

I can't get mad at these women. They are doing what y'all always talk about here, looking for their options outside black men. Those smiles seem a little wide and desperate but oh well. At least they are trying I guess.

 

[fitchick]

Forming a group specifically for this does scream thirst but so do the white men/black women groups and other combinations. Seems like embracing fetishes more than anything else.

Also really surprised by the venom at Asian men in this thread. Yeah, I know those guys in the pics may not be the most desirable but damn, they are people too.

 

[Kanky]

question: do black women really like asian men enough that we need communities catering to this combination or is this some sad ass "nobody wants either of us lets try to make lemonade out of these lemons" ****? and vice versa for the men, quite frankly.

cause, nah son. aint buying.

The article is pretty much saying this.

 

[CaraWalker]

Damn, and it's still 2 black women for every Asian man in those photos! That's not a come up. Oh well

I will refrain from relaying my own am stories ...

I noticed that too. but i figured we were being critical enough slash this was sad enough that i didnt need to rub it in

 

[werenumber2]

Ummm I know the photographer who took the pictures from the Brooklyn meet-up Mocha posted. What a small world!

 

[kanozas]

The unattractiveness of Asian-American men can be linked to their perceived lack of masculinity. Masculinity in American culture is an idea often predicated on aggressiveness and promiscuity. In Asian culture, however, masculinity is generally tied to mental strength, being a provider, and accepting familial responsibility. Furthermore, Asian boys are taught deference to authority at home. "'The loudest duck gets shot' is a Chinese proverb," observed critic Wesley Yang in his 2011 essay on the popular misconception of Asian-American success. He offered its Western correlative: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease," where complaint often yields reward.

This is the truth, though. You know, I see some resistance from BM regarding anybody else taking on "their" women but naturally, there is an element in all women that is searching for a provider. No, I'm not saying women have to stay home and rear children but I am saying that the natural progression of relationships and seeking marriage contain this somewhat intrinsic need. What is scary is that the bolded is desirable and is the strength but is NOT what a majority of BW are receiving from their own men. Are there exceptions? Of course. But there are too many who fall under the opposite with tragic results.

What is there in the cosmos that is attempting to destroy BW? American-type masculinity is causing the problem, esp. with BM's psyche because the worst misogynists are the ones who not only are indifferent to your existence, utilize you and throw you away but try and prevent you from seeking happiness with others who are willing. Someone might say that it's ethnic autocide but when BM seek out to have children with other races, they are still passing on their genes. They know this but just don't want BW to pass on theirs - this, despite BW traditionally supporting the BM at all cost. Solutions are individual and internal, imo.

 

[sharentu]

I have an ex who is a biracial Jamaican, he was gorgeous. the men in these pictures hurt my eyes, my stomach and my soul. that would be a NOPE! for me. it really depends on the person as an individual, looks would be a factor in that. sorry I am not blind and I am not desperate. those pictures reek of desperation. not my cup of tea.

 

[TrueBeliever]

Chile....
These men look like nail technicians.

 

[Ogoma]

Other assumptions would be made, like the ones in the OP about Asians women being submissive, or black men being controlling and wanting a submissive women. Both things I have read here and heard IRL specifically regarding black men in the service returning from Korea and Tokyo with local women.

Exactly. None of those assumptions are about their combined inferiority.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

This thread is hilarious! I never dated a full Asian guy, only biracial. I'm not against this as long as they are putting a ring on it.

 

[yardyspice]

It's funny that this thread is proving the article right.

Our community would be a whole lot different if every black woman expected to get married.

 

[DragonPearl]

There are online groups for ALL kinds of people who want to date. I am not sure why we're picking on this one. But not surprised...

I actually could have dated Asian men if I wanted to. I love how they take their role as providers seriously. But on average, they're a little too short for me. I am tall and I like my men my height or taller. The few times I ran into tall Asians, they were drool worthy.

 

[theRaven]

I dunno when I lurked into the AMBW communities in high school it was fascinating to me but extremely weird. The gender ratio was ridiculous and a bit too much Asian boy craze. What I don't like is the idea of coming together because of perceived low desirability, as someone said upthread making lemonade. The vibe I received was more of fetishsization and a bit of hook up culture as noted in the article. Hopefully the communities are more matured.

I will say I'm attracted to Asian guys and I did recently come across a really cute Korean American guy on campus. We chit chat every so often, but personality wise definitely no match. I used to only be attracted to east Asians like Taiwanese and Koreans, but now I really like and take notice of south Asian men.

 

[CaraWalker]

i dont think "ambw" is sincere. i think the only place where it would make sense is california where those populations are likely to mix frequently. outside of that i would call it a fetish, which seems suspicious that nobody has pointed that out, particularly given the rush to invalidate any attraction to bw by non-black men as a fetish - and to be clear i mean it would be the bw fetishizing the asian men.

i think probably for most of the women that would attend these "groups," if they felt like they had other options, it is probably unlikely that they would so enthusiastically jump on this AM train. yeah everybody has their groups and people like who they like whatever - stop playing and pretending like yall dont know this is desperation in action.

that being said, i actually feel like whenever i see a bw/am couple IRL they are usually quite impressive looking. if anybody women that legitimately are interested in this pairing should be mad for how this kind of desperation is tainting it. thats the one pairing that i see IRL and feel like there is no ulterior motive and the people involved genuinely like each other. i would be mad to see that one good impression ruined.

 

[HelpMe12]

The thirst has never been that real. But I will say I've seen some fine Asian men in my life especially among the Koreans

I agree. I don't know about that website but I had a little crush on this one back in the day

 

[MizAvalon]

Chile....
These men look like nail technicians.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

i dont think "ambw" is sincere. i think the only place where it would make sense is california where those populations are likely to mix frequently. outside of that i would call it a fetish, which seems suspicious that nobody has pointed that out, particularly given the rush to invalidate any attraction to bw by non-black men as a fetish - and to be clear i mean it would be the bw fetishizing the asian men.

i think probably for most of the women that would attend these "groups," if they felt like they had other options, it is probably unlikely that they would so enthusiastically jump on this AM train. yeah everybody has their groups and people like who they like whatever - stop playing and pretending like yall dont know this is desperation in action.

that being said, i actually feel like whenever i see a bw/am couple IRL they are usually quite impressive looking. if anybody women that legitimately are interested in this pairing should be mad for how this kind of desperation is tainting it. thats the one pairing that i see IRL and feel like there is no ulterior motive and the people involved genuinely like each other. i would be mad to see that one good impression ruined.

I think far too much stuff gets put into the fetish box. Yeah there's likely a part of this group that has been wanting to know what that yellow peen do since they saw Aaliyah almost get her grown woman on with Jet Li. But I'm going to err on the side of pragmatism and say that what a lot of women in general including swirlers are craving is the perceived stability that certain groups of men can provide.

I notice the posters who have dated AM in the thread have mentioned the financial aspects of these relationships being beneficial. Well, that's going to trump height, looks and peen length for many a chick dating within their group, doubly so for those going outside it.

I think there is a different dynamic to bw/am groups as opposed to bw/wm groups. Kinda controversial but I think there is a certain type of bw who is really down for the submissive role that is stereotypical to aw and are fine with it if the dude is coming super correct in his role as head of the house. I think that's where some of the seriously out of pocket stories I read on LSA about how some of the men in these groups talk to the female members come from is that you already have to be a certain type to even be in the group to begin with. Not saying the type is bad, just commenting that it exists. The black community as a whole has a weird relationship with the concept of submission to each other let alone outsiders so I expect this theory to raise some eyebrows.

I used to think these groups were creepy but I've accepted that people who know exactly what they want shouldn't pussyfoot around.

 

[CaraWalker]

I think far too much stuff gets put into the fetish box. Yeah there's likely a part of this group that has been wanting to know what that yellow peen do since they saw Aaliyah almost get her grown woman on with Jet Li. But I'm going to err on the side of pragmatism and say that what a lot of women in general including swirlers are craving is the perceived stability that certain groups of men can provide.

I notice the posters who have dated AM in the thread have mentioned the financial aspects of these relationships being beneficial. Well, that's going to trump height, looks and peen length for many a chick dating within their group, doubly so for those going outside it.

I think there is a different dynamic to bw/am groups as opposed to bw/wm groups. Kinda controversial but I think there is a certain type of bw who is really down for the submissive role that is stereotypical to aw and are fine with it if the dude is coming super correct in his role as head of the house. I think that's where some of the seriously out of pocket stories I read on LSA about how some of the men in these groups talk to the female members come from is that you already have to be a certain type to even be in the group to begin with. Not saying the type is bad, just commenting that it exists. The black community as a whole has a weird relationship with the concept of submission to each other let alone outsiders so I expect this theory to raise some eyebrows.

I used to think these groups were creepy but I've accepted that people who know exactly what they want shouldn't pussyfoot around.

nah. gotta disagree. I think if you are in a group like this you are fetishizing AM every bit as much as the idea of people fetishizing bw. that one girl who used to post here that stayed dating asian men, you could tell she did not care what those men were like as people, the only thing that mattered was that they were asian. it may not seem like the same thing because people equate fetishism with some kind of sexual kink, but it definitely is.

fet·ish
ˈfediSH/
noun

1. an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.
   synonyms: juju, talisman, charm, amulet;More
   
   • a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment.
     "he had a fetish for writing more opinions each year than any other justice"

that being said good luck to them all and I hope they find their asian princes. I havent read much about these "groups," im just not down in general principle for isolating a particular race for any reason, dating included. when you put it in the context of bws dating woes id just rather not.

 

[Zaynab]

These women look desperate and the men look like leftovers. I can't keep thinking about how small their penises probably are. That would be my first and only thought, sorry. Couldn't do it.

 

[beingofserenity]

Black girls who are into k-pop and anime and fetishize asian men are weird.

I've known a couple.

I would rather deal with the black girl who fetishizes white men...maybe.

But anyway, all the people in those pics are ugly. I was embarrassed none of the black girls were cute. Even worse was the description of black women chasing asians up the stairs, da hayle?

I like the brown asians and Japanese men.

 

[BklynHeart]

Reading this made me think of the cleaners I go to in Manhattan. The owners have their young son (or maybe grandson?) work the fron in the evenings. This short lil' thing always keep a close-fitting hat on, blasting underground rap and Tupac. Got the nerve to look at me like 'Yeahhh!' when I come in, like I'm supposed to nod my head with him and go in the back to smoke some weed.