Am I Doing Too Much Or No? Update- I Ran Into Interview Bae At An Event Today

[UniquelyDivine]

So there is this man I've had my eye one for about a year now, he is a very successful business man and really making moves in my city and I've been trying to figure out a way to approach him other than just popping into his place of business or hoping I'll randomly see him out.

I'm working on my MBA and one of our upcoming projects includes interviewing an entrepreneur , and my first thought was him, in my mind it's a legit "IN" and I can have a real conversation and pick his brain for a prolonged period of time versus if I just go into his shop and try to finesse him with a pretty face and big booty.

I mentioned this idea to a friend of mine and she said "you're doing too much, you shouldn't be chasing him because it's a man's job to pursue us and God will open that door if it's meant to be and you could potentially be "awakening love before it's time" and women have been conditioned to chase when it's a man's job to find us....etc etc etc.

I guess I can see how it's a little over the top but I figure if nothing else I will get some good info for my project and from here on out I can create a rapport with him instead of just being a random girl in the crowd vying for his attention.

What do y'all think?

 

[Atthatday]

I agree with you. You're seeking information for school, and possibly positioning yourself.

I can't wait for to hear everyone else's opinions.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Eh, have you ever been in a place for him to notice you to approach you if he wanted to ask you out?

 

[FemmeFatale]

I believe in positioning, not chasing and I don't like approaching men. Too much risk in being friend zoned imo.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

Eh, have you ever been in a place for him to notice you to approach you if he wanted to ask you out?

I've seen him out twice since he popped up on my radar; the first time he was in a relationship and I just let it be and the second time I was drunk and didn't feel I would make a good impression so I let it pass again.

 

[LiftedUp]

I agree with your friend, plus you may shift the potential relationship from romantic to mentor to mentee. Show up at his business place and strike up a conversation and/or drop that you're doing your MBA. Also idk other people's tactics but I won't let him know that I know he owns the place.

 

[Browndilocks]

I'm on the fence leaning toward don't to it.

 

[Ganjababy]

My gaaaaaawd. You sure are thirsty girl! Jesus Christ!!!!!!!! I do not know what is the matter with some of you people. SMDH...







.




I kid. I agree with the poster below. Position yourself and make him reel you in. Do not ask him out or make your intentions obvious. If he is interested he will take the bait.

I agree with you. You're seeking information for school, and possibly positioning yourself.
.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

I believe in positioning, not chasing,

I agree with you. You're seeking information for school, and possibly positioning yourself.

I can't wait for to hear everyone else's opinions.

That's how I feel... I don't feel that I'm chasing him at all, I'm simply placing myself on his radar and if he bites AWESOME if not I'll go on with the knowledge I've learned.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

I'm on the fence leaning toward don't to it.

Why do you say that?

 

[UniquelyDivine]

My gaaaaaawd. You sure are thirsty girl! Jesus Christ!!!!!!!! I do not know what is the matter with some of you people. SMDH...







.




I kid. I agree with the poster below. Position yourself and make him reel you in...

 

[Browndilocks]

Why do you say that?

I understand the school part but it just seems like you've already put too much thought & energy into him. Those don't usually turn out to be worth it in the long run.

 

[FemmeFatale]

That's how I feel... I don't feel that I'm chasing him at all, I'm simply placing myself on his radar and if he bites AWESOME if not I'll go on with the knowledge I've learned.

It's a bit too much work and action on your end, there's nothing seductive about the approach. Men like to hunt and this is s vital part of seduction.

 

[PopLife]

I met DH in a nontraditional way. I guess you could say I made the first move with the help of a friend...she relayed to him that I was interested. To this day he can not remember who approached who first and I let him stay confused.
But in general my advice would be to let the man chase, just position yourself well....

 

[UniquelyDivine]

I agree with your friend, plus you may shift the potential relationship from romantic to mentor to mentee. Show up at his business place and strike up a conversation and/or drop that you're doing your MBA. Also idk other people's tactics but I won't let him know that I know he owns the place.

My line of thinking was that if I do show up to his business randomly there is no guarantee he will be there and if he is he could be the consummate professional, which he seems to be, and my flirting would not necessarily be welcomed or reciprocated. I see what you're saying about the mentor/mentee part though, I'm toeing a fine line with that.

I understand the school part but it just seems like you've already put too much thought & energy into him. Those don't usually turn out to be worth it in the long run.

I get what you mean but if there is someone you're interested in then eventually you have to make a move. He could be a cocky butt hole so I'm prepared to hate him as a person and if that's the case I can still walk away with some prime business and marketing tips.[/QUOTE]

 

[UniquelyDivine]

It's a bit too much work and action on your end, there's nothing seductive about the approach. Men like to hunt and this is s vital part of seduction.

I met DH in a nontraditional way. I guess you could say I made the first move with the help of a friend...she relayed to him that I was interested. To this day he can not remember who approached who first and I let him stay confused.
But in general my advice would he to let the man chase, just position yourself well....

So do y'all feel that this is chasing? What is your definition of positioning then?

( I hope that doesn't sound snarky, I'm not meaning to be.)

 

[PopLife]

So do y'all feel that this is chasing? What is your definition of positioning then?

( I hope that doesn't sound snarky, I'm not meaning to be.)

Go into his business or to a social event you know he will be at (looking fly ). Put yourself in his line of view, make eye contact and smile. If he does not bite/approach, move on....

 

[natural in ATL]

I would do it. Life is too short. Many business professionals aren't looking for someone serious in a club/party setting anyway, and you'll be able to get to know him in a more meaningful way. I was "found" by my husband, but if I were in your shoes I would still try it. I'd rather be a mentor/mentee than nothing at all, if you're never able to connect another way.

 

[FemmeFatale]

OP do you have the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene?
It's funny, Baje just posted this on her channel, it's a little cheesy but the point is still valid.



I agree with @PopLife

 

[Browndilocks]

Hate him tho?

 

[Mai Tai]

I vote for strategically placing yourself and the school project is a great way to do it. Show up looking extra-fly and maintain your professionalism. Make sure you all exchange contact info just in case you need more details on his business (even though you won't call him first) and see if he reaches out to you. Anything outside of that is #TeamTooMuch

 

[silverbuttons]

Realistically, I think you're in danger of creating a business/platonic relationship which might come with unnecessary boundaries.

I do think this is a chance to position yourself in his social circle. Work around him.. do you know any of his business partners? Does he hang out with other successful men/women?

 

[FemmeFatale]

OP what was your method when you dated athletes?

 

[Theresamonet]

I actually think choosing him to interview and having a legit reason to be in his face, would come across less thirsty and be more effective than randomly showing up at his business to flirt. I don't think you're in danger of being friend zoned at all by this MAN, especially if you put out the right signals during the interview.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

I would do it. Life is too short. Many business professionals aren't looking for someone serious in a club/party setting anyway, and you'll be able to get to know him in a more meaningful way. I was "found" by my husband, but if I were in your shoes I would still try it. I'd rather be a mentor/mentee than nothing at all, if you're never able to connect another way.

That was exactly my line of thinking, he's grown so I don't think running up on him while out is the best way and in the year or so that I've known of him I've only seem him out twice. I think that is leaving it to chance too much because there is no guarantee when and if I'll catch him out again.

I vote for strategically placing yourself and the school project is a great way to do it. Show up looking extra-fly and maintain your professionalism. Make sure you all exchange contact info just in case you need more details on his business (even though you won't call him first) and see if he reaches out to you. Anything outside of that is #TeamTooMuch

Good thinking , I didn't plan on doing any more than this initial interview because then I would definitely feel like a pest or a chaser.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

OP what was your method when you dated athletes?

They have always approached me, I've only ever approached one and he was an afterthought.

OP do you have the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene?
It's funny, Baje just posted this on her channel, it's a little cheesy but the point is still valid.



I agree with @PopLife

Hmmmm I haven't read this but it sounds interesting, but don't you think I could seduce him in a subtle way with this method?

 

[UniquelyDivine]

Hate him tho?

Girl, I gotta be a realist at the end of the day, can't get my hopes up too much

 

[UniquelyDivine]

Realistically, I think you're in danger of creating a business/platonic relationship which might come with unnecessary boundaries.

I do think this is a chance to position yourself in his social circle. Work around him.. do you know any of his business partners? Does he hang out with other successful men/women?

I do actually know one of his business partners but he has a crush on me so I don't think that's the best route and yes he does!

He is a big mover and shaker within the city but I don't know anyone else that he hangs out with, I did think about the business relationship part/platonic aspect of it all because this is not a sexy approach but I figured if I come looking sophisticated and fly I can reduce the fuddy duddy aspect. The questions I have in mind are both on a professional and personal tip so I can attempt to steer it away from strictly business.

 

[FemmeFatale]

They have always approached me, I've only ever approached one and he was an afterthought.




Hmmmm I haven't read this but it sounds interesting, but don't you think I could seduce him in a subtle way with this method?

It's possible, I just like influencing men to approach me. Same thing with proposals, I need to know that you wanted me on your own accord. There's too much friend zone risk which isn't what you really want here.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

I actually think choosing him to interview and having a legit reason to be in his face, would come across less thirsty and be more effective than randomly showing up at his business to flirt. I don't think you're in danger of being friend zoned at all by this MAN, especially if you put out the right signals during the interview.

I thought so too, everyone kept telling me to go into his place of business but I can see that becoming very awkward and a total bust if he is busy.

It's possible, I just like influencing men to approach me. Same thing with proposals, I need to know that you wanted me on your own accord.

Ideally I would love for him to approach me because he is intrigued but as far as I know this man doesn't even know that I exist but I guess the real test will come after this interview (I just sent him a message requesting one ) hopefully I can be alluring enough that he wants to know more and if not...on to the next I guess.