Am I Doing Too Much Or No? Update- I Ran Into Interview Bae At An Event Today

LovinLea said:
Also, I told y'all the problem was not that I had a child. I told him after four days of talking on the phone while I was on vacation. And for the second time, I'll say it never came up.

For a second time, I'll say the problem was that he did not treat me well using that as the excuse. For example, he never took me on a date because according to him, I didn't have time because I'm a mom. I have the time so that was garbage.

We ended because I told him we had to go out on actual date. We had an argument about it. Then he tells me that he needs to think again about dating a single mom.

Instead of you ladies acting like I'm lying when I say it didn't come up (I don't know why I would need to lie to strangers on a website....................), it'd make more sense for you guys to come at me for dealing with a man (1)who told me loved me after a month, which was crazy and (2) who never took me on a proper date.

This is supposed to a supportive community of women, I don't know why y'all always without fail have to get nasty.

Back to ET. I have friends IRL to share these types of things with.
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@LovinLea

Being supportive doesn't mean you only tell someone what they want to hear. Maybe you're too close to see where you went wrong but if you thought that was nasty we'd never be friends in real life.

Being impressed by multiple calls while away means nothing if those talks didn't actually share details that matter. That's on you. I can only go by what you posted and all your defensive explanations still don't make any sense.

Who cares what he said? Why are you acting like any declaration of love is suppossed to change our opinion when you know he doesn't know you? If as you claim your child hadn't come up then why would his words of commitment move anything with you especially if they were not met by actions?

Ya'll were both playing games. You dodged a bullet but only because he took himself out of the running.

If your real friends are not pointing out where you went wrong then you need new friends. There are men out there with or without kids that will treat you better but you need to figure out how to date. Some new dude that hasn't taken you out should not even know where you live.

Now can OP return with an update?
 
Child or no child, he just wasn't that into you, which was a blessing. Thank God for that, seriously. Do you know how much time you could have wasted on this fool? Happens to the best of us. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. Use this experience to sit and really think about what you will and won't accept in a relationship. He was a dud and a wimp- you dodged a bullet.

House dates, within the first few/couple of dates, are a no-no. And mark my words, he's gonna try to weasel his way back in and "hey big head" you soon. Shut it down before he can finish his thought.

He doesn't deserve you. He has been brainwashed by these desperate birds out there and he thinks HE is the prize. I'm not sure he's able to come back from that. Talking 'bout, he's gonna get back to you after he figures out whether he can handle it. Um, what? BYE! I would have laughed in his face literally, then blocked him immediately. Next!
 
LovinLea said:
It didn't come up. I don't have a problem with him not wanting to date a mom.
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LovinLea said:
Also, I told y'all the problem was not that I had a child. I told him after four days of talking on the phone while I was on vacation. And for the second time, I'll say it never came up.
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I'm confused. So you DIDN'T tell him you had a child within the first week of y'all talking or you DID tell him?

I think the bigger lesson like the other ladies said is no house dates so early on and definitely no entertaining brand new love prospects after they've been drinking. That was very disrespectful in my opinion. He really was showing you how he feels about you from the get go. It's your job to set some standards and stick to them.

Also next time please start a brand new thread so we don't hijack OP's thread again like we just did.
 
@caribeandiva
@LovinLea apologized early on for posting in this thread and said she meant to post in a more appropriate thread. She posted here accidentally. The replies just kept coming though...

I think we have all given her enough feedback now. Perhaps she made some mistakes, but IMO the main issue is that the guy was manipulative, and she missed some red flags early on and allowed someone access to her heart without them earning that opportunity. No need to beat a dead horse (not directed at you caribeandiva) but LovinLea deserves our love and support, our compassion. I think she fully realizes where she went wrong and will proceed differently next time.

And she will make more mistakes as most of us do because she is a human being on her own unique path, learning how to navigate a complicated world.
 
hopeful said:
@caribeandiva
@LovinLea apologized early on for posting in this thread and said she meant to post in a more appropriate thread. She posted here accidentally. The replies just kept coming though...

I think we have all given her enough feedback now. Perhaps she made some mistakes, but IMO the main issue is that the guy was manipulative, and she missed some red flags early on and allowed someone access to her heart without them earning that opportunity. No need to beat a dead horse (not directed at you caribeandiva) but LovinLea deserves our love and support, our compassion. I think she fully realizes where she went wrong and will proceed differently next time.

And she will make more mistakes as most of us do because she is a human being on her own unique path, learning how to navigate a complicated world.
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:goodpost:
 
I'm at a marketing conference and guess who I see? Interview bae..... he was looking fine as hell too, I acted like I didn't see him :giggle: and he came over to say hi and asked me a bunch of questions about my project and the grade I got on it.

I gave him a little small talk then told him I had to get back to my group, if you want the pleasures of my company & conversation then ask me out fool.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I'm at a marketing conference and guess who I see? Interview bae..... he was looking fine as hell too, I acted like I didn't see him :giggle: and he came over to say hi and asked me a bunch of questions about my project and the grade I got on it.

I gave him a little small talk then told him I had to get back to my group, if you want the pleasures of my company & conversation then ask me out fool.
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exactly. you did good
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I'm at a marketing conference and guess who I see? Interview bae..... he was looking fine as hell too, I acted like I didn't see him :giggle: and he came over to say hi and asked me a bunch of questions about my project and the grade I got on it.

I gave him a little small talk then told him I had to get back to my group, if you want the pleasures of my company & conversation then ask me out fool.
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IMG_3289.GIF
 
UniquelyDivine said:
@movingforward13 is right, I live in Dallas now so I haven't seen him in months, but I have a new boo...as of today :look: :couple:




Don't worry! I'm still working on a potential wedding! Just switching grooms :angeldevil:
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How are you liking Dallas? SO and I talking about moving there or Houston after the wedding. We've been and like both places, but leaning more to Houston...but we're taking any and all tips.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
@movingforward13 is right, I live in Dallas now so I haven't seen him in months, but I have a new boo...as of today :look: :couple:




Don't worry! I'm still working on a potential wedding! Just switching grooms :angeldevil:
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tumblr_of71j0xqfZ1upk172o1_500.gif
 
sunnieb said:
@UniquelyDivine welcome to Texas! :welcome4:
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Thank you!!!! :D


intellectualuva said:
How are you liking Dallas? SO and I talking about moving there or Houston after the wedding. We've been and like both places, but leaning more to Houston...but we're taking any and all tips.
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It's the bomb to me! But I also came from roody poo Kansas, I have had people tell me that Houston is a much faster pace than Dallas, and ahead of the curve when it comes to style and things to do at times, I don't mind the slightly slower pace of Dallas because it still gives me all the things I need, but I can also lay back in the cut and relax when I want to. Where are y'all currently living?
 
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