Am I Being Selfish???

[Candy1978]

Ok here is the long story short. I am currently training and dieting for a fitness competition in June. June 18th & 19th to be exact. My 1 year wedding is in May and my husband wants to take a 10 day cruise that #1 we really can't afford, but more than that would empede on the fitness goals that he knows are so important to me to accomplish this year. I suggested that we go to a nice resort spa for 1 or 2 days, or a nice resturant the night of our anniversery, and do the crusie after the competition. He says that I'm being selfish, and putting the competition before our marriage and anniversery. Am I being selfish? I mean when I go on the cruise I don't want to be thinking about calories???

 

[Arcadian]

Yes you're being selfish.

When you get your rhythm down when you're prepping to compete, you may take that vaca but you don't let the naughty stuff pass your lips.

Only person that can sabotage you is YOU. If you're gonna slip up, you could easily do that at home.


Cruise ships have gyms. On cruises I wake up early and run 5 miles every morning. Some excursions can be very physically exhilarating. You don't have to just sit like a lump on a log and eat all day.

In the dining room I've always been able to make very smart choices (they can cook surf and turf with steamed veggies for you with no added bad stuff)

I go on a cruise and usually lose 10/15 lbs because of all of the running around.

You don't have to have desert or drink or any of those things. I seldom do desert even at home, that doesn't change because I go on vacation. If anything I tend to drink more water because I'm burning more calories.

I competed for 10 years, so I'm not just saying any of this out of the side of my mouth, trust me, it can be done!


Just remember, when you're married its not just you, but both of you. I'm sure you both can find a workable solution.

Personally I say let him take you on a cruise girl!


-A

 

[dinanicole]

I see where you coming from but you can do it.
Relax and enjoy yourself.

 

[hopeful]

I don't think you are being selfish. I think a weekend getaway is fine or dinner and the cruise later. You are not ignoring your anniversary, just not wanting to do an activity that may keep you from achieving your goal.

 

[Keen]

I don't think you're being selfish. but if your husband insist, maybe you can just go to the cruise and continue your training there. Make sure that is OK with him. If he is the one really being selfish, he won't like you training during the cruise.

 

[Taliah]

Absolutely not! If anything he doesn't understand that no way in hell would anyone who competes go on a 10 day cruise 1 month before a competition.
You're not rejecting the idea of the cruise, that yall can't even afford btw, you're just saying after the competition.
Sounds like he's trying to start some mess...what's the big difference between leaving in May and leaving possibly on June 20th after the competition?
It takes 6 months to a year to prep for a competition NO WAY would I go on a cruise during that time.

 

[Uber]

I don't think its selfish as such. But I have been in your shoes and i always consider that I'm being overly concerned with my appearance. I also know that my husband would not understand in the slightest what I needed to change to fit into my wedding dress. I bet your fiance thinks you're fine just the way you are. He probably also thinks a week on a cruise ain't gonna make any difference to your weight....men . But as a poster said, when on the cruise you can control your diet and your exercise.

However a tight budget would be a good excuse to leave the cruise till later.

 

[awhyley]

I'm not even interested in the calorie/weight training aspect; if you can't afford it right now, the cruise should be postphoned. You don't have to go all out to celebrate the first of many anniversaries.

 

[JustKiya]

Forget the competition - you can't afford it. That, alone, should be enough to reconsider it.

 

[-Kąditty-]

Which came first, the cruise idea or your comp training?

 

[Still Sexy Stewardess]

I'm not even interested in the calorie/weight training aspect; if you can't afford it right now, the cruise should be postphoned. You don't have to go all out to celebrate the first of many anniversaries.

Forget the competition - you can't afford it. That, alone, should be enough to reconsider it.

That's where I got hung up, too. If you can't afford it, don't go. Financial problems are NOT what a new marriage needs. erplexed

 

[lexi08]

Uh.... why is your husband pressing for a trip you can't afford????

 

[tailormade84]

Forget the competition - you can't afford it. That, alone, should be enough to reconsider it.

ITA!
If you can't afford it, you can't afford it - if he is unwilling to consider yours ideas then request that he provide a more financially reasonable substitute

I know anniversarys are big, but the best part is your MADE it, not what you make of it......it can special if all you do is have a nice dinner at home.

 

[MD_Lady]

Not at all. The fact that you can't afford it should be reason enough to scale back. Heck, I don't think the competition is a selfish reason (especially since you suggested an alternative date) in and of itself. If my DH were going to be in a fitness competition, I probably would have planned our celebration around his schedule any way. *shrug*

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Can you really "not" afford it or is it just viewed as an unnecessary luxury? Go on the cruise. You don't have to eat everything under the sun. As for training, there are several ways you can do it on the ship. Enjoy your time with your husband, competitions come and go.

As my father was dying he looked back with regret about the time he could have spent enjoying with his wife and kids. Tomorrow isn't promised and if you guys love each other, go, continue to train and take the spa break next year. (BTW you can shop around and find some GREAT cruise getaways. There are alot of agencies running specials.)

 

[lux10023]

i think your being a lil selfish-y does dudes vday plans have to be minimized because you are doin the training thing--thats not fair---but i agree he can be a lil more compromising since he knows your competition means so much to you..

a wknd getaway--maybe 4 days instead of 3 can be an option

maybehe feel su both need to get away--with all the damn stress of day to day life--maybe he just wanst to get away with his boo-focusing on work --competition---family and etc--dude may need an outlet

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

OP - I do not think you are being selfish. Since I workout 5 days a week, I TOTALLY understand your concerns. It's a lifestyle, the eating, supplements, cardio in the am and in the pm, etc. Then you have to rehearse your routine, get costumes together, the whole nine. TRUST ME, I've been there and the only one who would understand is one who is in the life of working out. I know for me, If I'm taken out of my comfort zone and or routine, then I'm thrown off and sometimes it's hard to get back.

Competition is a serious business....I think this is where "compromising" should be exercised. Maybe the cruise can hold off until after the competition. It would be like a reward so to speak.

Those Competition dates sounds familiar...which show are you doing?

 

[Farida]

Life is too short to pass up vacations with loved ones for training....

 

[ladysaraii]

No I dont think you are being selfish, especially b/c its something you really can't afford.

I dont think you'll love each other any less by waiting to take the cruise....it might be a great post competition relaxation. Then you dont have to be mad that you cant eat what you like

 

[DarkHair]

I see both sides. On one hand, you should go on that cruise...you can still exercise while there. On the other hand you said you can't afford it. Pray, sleep on it, and then weigh the options.

 

[southerncitygirl]

if its not in your budget, why not do a weekend getaway close to home at a spa or at a bed and breakfast. he's making excuses cause he thinks with you competiting that you are not giving him enough attention.....men are big selfish,babies with fragile egos. the cruise for financial reasons should wait.....neither of you should be spending money you don't really have. good luck with your competition, your hubby is being irrational and i hope it passes.