My brother said the reason I am single is because . . .

[Glib Gurl]

...and what is wrong with being selfish?!.......

I dunno about what type of relationship you and your brother have but there is an underlying tone to his advice cause usually when anyone has a negative thing to say to you there is a disliking of you.

My brother and I have an okay relationship . . . I was (am? ) the favorite child and so there is some resentment there . . . he always brings up things that I got that he didn't from our parents (e.g., I went to private school, he went to public - but that's because he had a learning disability and could only get services through the PS system . . . they couldn't afford for him to get it while attending private school)

Before I would even consider a man's advice about my relationships - I ask myself - Is this man the kind of man that I would want to date?

Would I want to date my brother? Not really. And it's not even because he's a bad guy because he's not . . . it's just that he's . . . well, SELFISH Seriously, he is just like my dad and with them it's always about what THEY want . . . how THEY feel . . . . While they can be a lot of fun and very loving, they can also be very moody, very bossy dudes

 

[JustKiya]

Would I want to date my brother? Not really. And it's not even because he's a bad guy because he's not . . . it's just that he's . . . well, SELFISH Seriously, he is just like my dad and with them it's always about what THEY want . . . how THEY feel . . . . While they can be a lot of fun and very loving, they can also be very moody, very bossy dudes

And I bet they expect their women to cater to their every need, and for her to have as few needs/demands on them as possible, and they catch a bit of an attitude when their woman asks something of them? Esp. if that something interferes with what they are doing at that moment? On point or totally off base?

If that's totally on-point, then you WANT to be selfish, as that will increase your chances of weeding men like that out.

 

[Revelle]

There are tons of "selfish" women out there that have a ma-an.

The book is called "men love bidges" for a reason.

Now, if he's saying ur to picky, that's something for you to evaluate.

Ur brother's trying to deflect attention away from his sneakiness.

Ahh! Your sig is too cute!!! But anyway, I agree, he is just trying to divert your attention from his facebook cheating.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Thats just it. Your gonna always hear advice from people. Good. Bad. Solicited. Unsolicited. Hate it. Love it. We're on here right?

At this point let me point this out....You hit up threads...marry for convenience, 2010 relationship goals, etc....all advice from a forum. You take the good from the bad and separate and what can be applied you line up to probably use in the future. You don't know us from tit to tat. Some people do this as a hobby some as their life. Doesn't mean their points are not valid.

Even though his timing was off it still doesn't mean his point wasn't valid. From advice you take what you can use and then you can leave the rest. Thats the great thing about it. He's not demanding that you lose your core values and just accept anything and it doesn't mean everything he said was correct and like I say if nothing is valid no love lost. I just think you don't have to dismiss every single thing that someone says just because on a value level ya'll may not agree.

Also if he is doing something shady on FB it wasn't your place to call him out on it anywho, he has his LT. See somethings we feel as an entitlement which aren't. Women sometimes have our priorities mixed all up and just because he didn't answer her ? doesn't mean he was doing anything of the sorts. Just because your the "Queen of FB flirting" doesn't mean that he's acknowledging just as much while he is on there.

How many people on here have their sister/brother in there relationship biz anyhow. He happened to put you in your place and gave you a slice of reality pie along with it in several words. Again he has a relationship and can flirt on FB all he wants and for the record (I'd rather a bunch of women chatting him up then a bunch of men). JMO

 

[ClassicBeauty]

Based on your posts to this site, I think I may agree with your brother. Maybe you do need to date some guys (not seriously) just to get some experience and build your confidence.

Stay with me...

One of my good friends has a great education from a top 10 law school. She's very smart, but she's never felt pretty. She's a little over weight, and she has some serious emotional scars from her past. Basically she's afraid of men because her choice of men in the past has been bad. I've been trying to help her build her confidence, but this guy contacted her on Facebook from high school. I didn't like him for her because I think she could do better, but I told her to just talk to him on the phone for a little while. They even went out a few times for coffee and lunch. Yes, I encouraged my friend to go out with a guy that she didn't really like. In the end, she told him that they could only be friends, but the attention from this guy really helped her get back in the dating game. She hadn't dated a guy in like 4 years. She didn't even feel comfortable talking on the phone at first. NOW SHE DOES!

I've noticed that she's lost a few pounds, kept her hair done, dressed better, etc since that guy. Now she has several guys that have real potential trying to hit on her. I know that it would be awful for a guy to use a girl to build his confidence, but it happens all the time... No sex, no emotions, just go out or talk to a few guys to build your experience and your confidence.