Always being available for your man

[Ganjababy]

Someone recently told me that she has been with her DH for over 20 years and she has never denied him. I am wondering how many women feel this way. She said even if she is not in the mood, she does it anyway. She is not unhappy about it. I thought it was interesting.

I cannot do it if I am not in the mood. Me not being in the mood is a turn off for my DH. I have been with someone who thought he was entitled to it even if I was not in the mood. I promptly ended it.

Do you always make yourself available to your SO or DH even if you are not in the mood?

 

[lesedi]

I have heard the 'don't argue with the cookie' argument and I can't get with it. I just don't like the idea that men get to feel entitled to a womans body whether she 'wants' to give it or not.
It's not for me.

 

[Mai Tai]

If I'm not in the mood, luckily my SO doesn't press the issue. However, I do sometimes take it upon myself to assure that he is "taken care of." He does the same for me.

 

[Thiends]

I hope those who are always available mean that they are always available to their husbands. All of this slavish behavior to benefit men who have yet to seriously commit really needs to stop. Stop auditioning!

 

[Ladybelle]

Only if the DH is the same way towards me in everything else. the garden much like respect is earned, not just given away like Sam's club samples.

 

[LunadeMiel]

No, I'm not always available to DH. I wish a ***** would...

 

[JustKiya]

I tried that **** in an attempt to save my marriage. Yeah. Not so much fun, and it made the situation worse, for me. I'm not into giving someone else control over my body - and removing the option to say no puts the control in his hands. Never again.

 

[LoveLongLocks]

He never turns me down, so I try not to either. I'd have to be on the "." to decline. He's pretty respectful, so I try to accommodate. ....don't want him walking around in need...

 

[dlewis]

Both of us have total access to each other bodies when we need it. I can only think of a few times I've denied my husband and I can only think of one time he has denied me.

 

[shinyblackhair]

Do men generally turn the woman down? ARen't they always at the ready, genrally speaking?

eta: to say I voted "it depends".

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

We're almost always on the same page sexually so this hasn't been a problem. Even when I'm not in the mood it doesn't take much for him to get me there and vice versa which is nice.

 

[dlewis]

Do men generally turn the woman down? ARen't they always at the ready, genrally speaking?

Yep, all you really need is that one part of him, the rest can go away.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

I truly do not understand this.

Why must women cow-tow to men on every level? There are millions of magazines describing the millions of ways to please your man. The millions of ways to look good for your man. The millions of reasons to do whatever you man wants.

When are men going to start doing all this pleasing for us? When are they going to be bombarded at every turn with prompts to go all out for us?

To answer the OP: no. I dont give it up each and everytime my husband requests it. If Im sick or tired, or very busy I say no. The world dont revolve around one individual in a relationship. I dont and will never understand that dynamic and that line of thinking.

 

[DSP]

If I'm feeling neutral about it, I'll go with the flow. DH can be persuasive and knows good foreplay can make me change my tune in a heartbeat.

If I adamantly don't want his penis near me, he'd better get some of this:

and some of these:

For real.

 

[kandake]

Do men generally turn the woman down? ARen't they always at the ready, genrally speaking?

eta: to say I voted "it depends".

It happens. Especially if they're really tired or stressed. Or if you've already had a few sessions...

 

[natural2008]

No, I'm not always available to DH. I wish a ***** would...

I hear you. I wilth you on this with my fiance. Geesh sometimes one is tired or stressed out from work.

 

[qchelle]

.....just passing though

 

[princessnad]

No I'm not. But if it's been a few days then I try to do it even if I'm not in the mood.

 

[intergalacticartist]

Nope, not doing it, sorry, no ma'm, nuh uh.

 

[Sasha299]

I generally try to be as accomodating as possible because he rarely says no even when he is not in the mood - and it happens because mature men have other things on their minds than sex. I do it with a giving heart and never grudgefully - if I am hesitant then he'll start the play and I get in the mood. I don't see it as kow-towing to him because we are a partnership, that is what makes OUR relationship work. I have to give some to get some - so when I am a raging beast he's going to do what he needs to in order to soothe that beast. Its not always about me and its not always about him - its ALWAYS about us and our relationship.

 

[kmn1980]

I sleep spread eagle.

 

[MD_Lady]

...When are men going to start doing all this pleasing for us? When are they going to be bombarded at every turn with prompts to go all out for us?...

When we start making our needs a priority. A man can tell a woman 'no' all day everyday about anything and she'll find a way to "deal with it". That same woman, however, will convince herself that she must never refuse her husband in any way or else she'll wind up alone (having lost her husband to the "other woman who will"). I'm all for compromising, but there's a difference between doing that and being expected (either by DH/SO or yourself) to live your life in genie mode.

 

[locabouthair]

Long time ago, there was a thread and someone said never denied her SO and she gave it to her man even when she was vomiting and just came out the ER. To each it's own. Couldn't be me.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Long time ago, there was a thread and someone said never denied her SO and she gave it to her man even when she was vomiting and just came out the ER. To each it's own. Couldn't be me.

What kind of man is trying to get laid when his woman is vomiting as shes leaving the ER???? Ummm...hayl no. Theres so much wrong with that ENTIRE scenario.

 

[MissMasala5]

Me and DH are pretty good at communicating non-verbal cues. We both know when it's not gonna happen, so he makes no steps in that direction and vice versa. No pressure, no qualms. Personal boundaries mutually respected. I am happy to say these moments are few and far in between.

 

[MissMasala5]

Long time ago, there was a thread and someone said never denied her SO and she gave it to her man even when she was vomiting and just came out the ER. To each it's own. Couldn't be me.

Acckk, disgusting.

Me? He'd better get into some BDSM quick because I'd have to beat him down.

 

[TCatt86]

I'm not married so hell no!!! And yes men deny women, I've been denied for a 2nd round, so I'm surely going to deny, especially in the morning and I'm still trying to sleep.

 

[teeyah2005]

We've been together three years and married for the past month and a half and I've never turned him down. Then again, there hasn't really been a time yet when I was adamantly 'not in the mood.' Yes, there have been times when I've been feeling a little less 'hot' for it, but when that happens, I think of a quote I read some time ago that goes something like, "Instead of waiting to strike when the iron is hot, why not strike the iron until it gets hot?"

Works every time.

Also, I have to really think about my priorities sometimes when I'm thinking I'm 'too busy' to connect with my hubby. Seriously, is my entire world going to collapse if these dishes/the laundry/my email/mopping the floor doesn't get done RIGHT THIS MINUTE? 99 percent of the time, the answer is no. And I can GUARANTEE, there has never been a moment after sex where I wish I had done my chores instead.

JMO

 

[mswright00]

When you become married your body no longer belongs to yourself.. Your body is his and his body is yours. Why be selfish with it, sex is a great stress relief!

 

[Curlybeauty]

I sleep spread eagle.

*dead*