Do you go-off on your man?

[Lissa0821]

I had to go-off on someone last night, it was clear that he was beginning to take my kindness for weakness. I wasn't in rare form like I use to be in my younger days. I just let him know, "you cute but you ain't that damn cute". He is currently sulking today and its all good with me.

 

[MD_Lady]

I've always been an advocate of carefully choosing an approach because (IME), your delivery often registers more than your actual words. For me, it has nothing to do with not being seen as the stereotypical ABW and everything with wanting to get my point across (I'm not a big fan of repeating myself). That having been said, if DH were to lay on that "button", tact might escape me.

 

[gabulldawg]

I'm pretty laid back, so I've never really gone off on DH. We have had our disagreements, but we usually handle them in a mature fashion. I usually say what I need to say and let it go (eventually ). He pretty much does the same. The yelling and cussing, throwing crap, calling each other all kinds of names isn't necessary IMO. If I have to go there then that more than likely means we are heading for splitsville or at least a break.

 

[Taleah2009]

it's a Taurus thing I see All 3 of your post sound like me ....

I've gotten better at it or at least in my mind I have...let him tell it tho I do go off on him but for the most part,I sit and make smart comments. Usually my Sarcasm and snide remarks makes him angry and he leaves me alone.

Omg, too true. I call myself using humor to convey my feelings and it comes out as sarcasm. Oh well, it's better than the alternative (me flipping on his arse ).

lol lol lol.... are we e-triplets???? i am the same way. before i blow up, i just make really smart remarks, because when i get angry, i get more fustrated at my self. my words dont form properly, i just end up yelling and cursing when its not even necessary

 

[Truth]

lol lol lol.... are we e-triplets???? i am the same way. before i blow up, i just make really smart remarks, because when i get angry, i get more fustrated at my self. my words dont form properly, i just end up yelling and cursing when its not even necessary

omg yesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so glad i'm not alone.... I start talking then eventually all you here is "sh!t, just Phuck it then, you know what....XyZ " ahhhhhhhh my poor baby i'm about to apologize to him for no reason, he endures so much

 

[*5+5]

Funny I spotted those Taurus qualities right off...it's funny how the Bull operate, I've been trying to get better as well. But I've grown to learn that I'm just not going to be consistent with nipping things in the bud. I'll just continue to work on not blowing my top b/c of things that I've been holding on to esp considering it's my fault that I allow things to build.

Omg, too true. I call myself using humor to convey my feelings and it comes out as sarcasm. Oh well, it's better than the alternative (me flipping on his arse ).

lol lol lol.... are we e-triplets???? i am the same way. before i blow up, i just make really smart remarks, because when i get angry, i get more fustrated at my self. my words dont form properly, i just end up yelling and cursing when its not even necessary

OMG that's so me! New beau always tell me that I be jokingly dropping insults and I never even notice.

When I get angry it's never good which is quite rare...but I usually end up feeling silly or disappointed about becoming angry.

@Taleah2009, I thought your post sounded a little too familiar. I'm a Taurus too (@*5+5, that's my bday in your sn, girl, lol) and it's the same exact thing. I try, Lawd knows I try, but this Scorpio man pushes ALL my buttons (good and bad). I'll let an issue linger for weeks until I say something, but when I finally do say something, trust, the bull is already pawing at the ground, ready to charge. I really try to avoid those conversations, so I used to hope he 'got the hint'. He didn't and the only person I can change is myself. I've gotten better with mentioning potential problems before I just. cannot. take. it. anymore, but it is very, very difficult.

@Honey Bee I'm May 10, it seems as tho' the May Taurus's have more of the Bull, my sister is an April Taurus and she's more blunt and straight up and not as passive.

 

[hothair]

I really try not to but sometimes (read about 3 times a year) he really goes out of his way to push my buttons. I tend to voice things before they get to the "going off stage" and I'm careful to pick my words even when I'm going off about once a year he gets the full monty though scares the bejeezus out of him.

 

[Aviah]

Never had to. If I'm that mad I should probably go cool off first. I get the ear I need when I say exactly what the problem is calmly, rather than my previous sarcasm. The fewer words the better. After we make up, I don't hold it either, its done. If there's ever (God forbid) a thing I can't let go of its big enough to end the relationship. Holding things is definitely a precursor to going off.

 

[SheenaVee]

lol lol lol.... are we e-triplets???? i am the same way. before i blow up, i just make really smart remarks, because when i get angry, i get more fustrated at my self. my words dont form properly, i just end up yelling and cursing when its not even necessary

THIS IS ME. OMG. LOL.

 

[chocolat79]

I have, once. My ex put his foot on that button and was relentless, so let him have it. It ended with him doing ALL the cooking in the relationship, lol.

I try to control my emotions now and nip things in the before they get a chance to fester and cause me to go off. Also, I've chosen better SO's since then, lol with better communication skills.

Sent from my Droid Incredible

 

[glamazon386]

On occasion yes

 

[ChasingBliss]

Not referring to any of you ladies because I dont personally know y'all....but sometimes it seems that women think "going off" is a part of that bytch factor that men love. But a lot of men I've talked to hate it and if a woman does it on a regular these men either leave or cheat --wrong but true....

Nobody wants a time bomb for an SO that can go off at will. I know I dont. And some women (and men who do it) do think that mess is attractive or it says they are authoritative in some way. It really aint. If I have to walk on egg shells around you...I'm trailing egg shells right out the door.

 

[itismehmmkay]

I used to. But that s* gets real old real quick and you're just left drained. These days I just make a decision on how I'll handle the situation instead of "punishing" them with going off.

 

[*5+5]

Not referring to any of you ladies because I dont personally know y'all....but sometimes it seems that women think "going off" is a part of that bytch factor that men love. But a lot of men I've talked to hate it and if a woman does it on a regular these men either leave or cheat --wrong but true....

Nobody wants a time bomb for an SO that can go off at will. I know I dont. And some women (and men who do it) do think that mess is attractive or it says they are authoritative in some way. It really aint. If I have to walk on egg shells around you...I'm trailing egg shells right out the door.

Some men like that and a lot of chicks do it and it works for them. My BFF is the explosive type when it comes to her man. When we were roommates I woke up once to see her dude outside picking up some of his belongings.

I go and asked her what happened and she said some chick called his phone and he wouldn't let her see. She asked him to leave and he wouldn't so she threw his stuff outside. I was like you're bold, but they were engaged 6 months into dating.

My cousin wife is a bonafide hell raiser, she has a history of pulling him out of clubs, friends homes etc yet he still married that. Some men like that ish.

 

[MrJohnsonsRib]

I depends on how frustrated I am. I admit I am not the best at handling anger, but that is what I am working on now. My husband has had his whole childhod to unleash his rage in fighting and rebellion or whatever. Me I always had to be submissive and quiet growing up soooo I have this sort of "nobody is going to bully me anymore" mindset, so I go off when I feel he is trying to make me feel inferior or whatnot. I'm human so to heck if somebody thinks I am crazy or foolish. I acknowledge the issue and I am working on it with God's help. I think I will get better in time.

 

[MrJohnsonsRib]

So do u ladies ever get the feeling that you wanna go off but you fold and do it a softer way? I feel myself pause sometimes and think ok, hm...don't say that.

My brother often brags about how my SIL has never once went off on him in 11 years even tho' he was quite deserving of a tounge lashing often.

Like Kevin Hart said in Seriously Funny, we women tend to cut deep when we go off and I am that type when I get really mad. I will pull up some stuff from back when and retell it. However the stuff I pull up isn't always the cap off the toothpaste stuff but you crashed my car when my deductible is no joke kinda off...sometimes I get bothered by cap off the toothpaste stuff but it's b/c I will have repeatedly made the request and others like it. So I tend to remind him of every speck of wrong. He tries to show me my imperfectinos but I am like..."Um that is just the few things wrong with this incredible woman, hello." But like I said before I just haven't had much experience of handling anger through talking. I had to suck up all the wrongdoing that happened to me and be submissive to the ones who hurt me. BUT as a grown woman it's like..."Am I to be a doormat?" Nope! BUT I am very sensitive so I tend to go off and end up in a bad funk of sadness and tears right after. For me it's deeper than a sterotype. It's just fragile and fickle human emotions. That is what I have the Word of God for, to help me know when to set emotions aside and do what is right. I will get better as I apply it more.

 

[natural_one]

I think I have went off on him once in our 1.5 year relationship, but he deserved every bit of it!!! And I was controlling myself cause I really wanted to go in, but I had to stop because when I get mad I tend to get mean. I didnt want to say something that would totally damage our relationship, so I censored myself.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Some men like that and a lot of chicks do it and it works for them. My BFF is the explosive type when it comes to her man. When we were roommates I woke up once to see her dude outside picking up some of his belongings.

I go and asked her what happened and she said some chick called his phone and he wouldn't let her see. She asked him to leave and he wouldn't so she threw his stuff outside. I was like you're bold, but they were engaged 6 months into dating.

My cousin wife is a bonafide hell raiser, she has a history of pulling him out of clubs, friends homes etc yet he still married that. Some men like that ish.

LOL, Yeah, some do... but I dont want anyone I feel I gotta check like that . Dayum, broads calling your cell??? Pulling you out of night clubs??? etc...nah women who deal with that, can have that mess. I'll go off allright...on my own. I'm gone.

 

[Triniwegian]

Sometimes a little cussing goes a long way. So that would be a yes.

 

[Taleah2009]

@Honey Bee I'm May 10, it seems as tho' the May Taurus's have more of the Bull, my sister is an April Taurus and she's more blunt and straight up and not as passive.[/QUOTE]


and i am May 9th. lol

 

[Taleah2009]

omg yesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so glad i'm not alone.... I start talking then eventually all you here is "sh!t, just Phuck it then, you know what....XyZ " ahhhhhhhh my poor baby i'm about to apologize to him for no reason, he endures so much

 

[MissMasala5]

I have, and am not proud of it. He has done the same with me before as well. Things were rocky, we sought counseling and now we communicate our feelings without getting hostile. We do, however, bicker. A lot. That's just who we are. Two stubborn dominant personalities. Both Leos. Both like to debate. Both like to be right. Fun times, really Several people have said that we need our own reality show.

 

[Truth]

@Honey Bee I'm May 10, it seems as tho' the May Taurus's have more of the Bull, my sister is an April Taurus and she's more blunt and straight up and not as passive.

^^ interesting... I never payed much attention to the difference. I guess it's because if you catch me on the right day I have a tendency to be more blunt and straight forward then passive. (I'm a May Taurus) ...However Now that u've put it like that, I realise I am a lot more passive then my roomie who's an April Taurus.