Think I should respond to this one since it is my nick on this site! lol. What makes an Alpha Male is the same as what makes an Alpha Female: strong, confident, bold, assertive, independent, go-getter, like to be in charge, dominant-type personality, want success & willing to do what it takes to get it, etc. Women like this in a male because it typically means the male will be a good provider, look out for his family, take care of his woman, 'go to work & bring home the prize,' etc. In turn, the Alpha Male is typically attracted to the type woman that is looking for that - someone to take care of & provide for her, someone that makes her feel feminine & like a woman, someone that is okay with the man making most/all of the decisions, someone that loves being the 'domestic diva' in the home, etc.
The issue can come in with the Alpha Female, and quite frankly, it really shouldn't even be an issue. But society as a whole does not expect, nor does it fully appreciate, the Alpha Female who shows those same qualities that make the Alpha Male so desirable. It's about gender roles. Whether society wants to admit it or not, and for all the women's liberation that has taken place over the years, society still expects men to be the leaders and women to be the 'little helpers.' And when you have a woman that is a leader, and not a 'little helper,' it makes some people uncomfortable and uneasy. IMO only, black men are too caught up in wearing the pants and 'being the man' to appreciate all of the qualities that an Alpha Female offers, and so have some of the greatest difficulty interacting with an Alpha Female. I've found some of the greatest acceptance as an Alpha Female in men of other races, particularly white men, who seem to love a bold, assertive, independent Black woman! A man has to be secure in his own masculinity; respect & accept a woman as his equal; and not subscribe to typical/traditional gender roles in the home to build a successful relationship with an Alpha Female.
I once heard it said that Alpha Men want to be 'ego-stroked' - meaning they want to come home and have someone fawn all over them because of the way they 'slayed the dragons out in the world' today. Two Alphas will find it difficult (though not impossible) to be together because 2 people can't both come home looking to be fawned over and ego-stroked. Eventually, one or both will feel they aren't getting their needs met (i.e. they're not receiving enough stroking from their partner). It takes a lot of work for 2 Alphas used to being the center of attention to make a relationship work because successful relationships typically mean putting 'self' aside and thinking of someone else first, and the often overlooked, but typical, 'more negative' characteristics of Alphas are that they are self-centered and ego-centric (i.e. they come first). Obviously if 2 Alphas can make it work, the results of their pooled ambitions & success can be fantastic. But more often than not, an Alpha needs to be with someone a little more content to step out of their limelight and let them be the leader.
I love men like this!
Or rather, it is, but that's not my problem.
at that one. Stedman? Nah. The fact that he's best known for being Oprah's sidekick creates a presumption against that, and nothing else I've seen rebuts that presumption.
