Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
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6 months!!!!! No sex!!!! That's a man of God she got for real, what man is going to put up with that? Sorry I have no advice I'm shocked. Okay ......maybe she still doesn't feel comfortable with her sexuality, maybe she still feels sex is bad is that it? Scared of the "pain"? She needs to relax and maybe even go to counseling. ..idk...I'm shocked
I think that she realizes how serious this is, but is trying to play it off to you guys. Maybe there's something in her past, that she's not sharing with you ladies. 6 months, and no sex, there's a problem there.
I agree with the posters above, she should first see a doctor to make sure her hormone levels are in check, and then proceed to a sex therapist and/or marriage counselor.
I read an interesting article this summer by a woman who waited until marriage to have sex, even though she could now have sex without sin according to her beliefs, she couldn't shake the feeling that sex was shameful. http://www.xojane.com/sex/true-love-waits-pledge
It can be a medical condition- there is some problem that starts with a V- it is basically painful sex for the woman. It can be treated.Unless it's a medical condition maybe? I don't know I don't get it.
The lady is very correct.Also, your friend has too much of her marriage business "in the street" so to speak. If there's one piece of advice I'd give her, it would be to turn to her husband to work this out and not anyone outside the marriage.
???????????????????????I don't think she's interested in men. I think she's a lesbian.
I don't think she's interested in men. I think she's a lesbian.
I agree with sunnieb She is sharing way too much with you guys. I think it's okay to share some information because obviously she needs help and is reaching out and needs support. But she is sharing way too many details while not really sharing the truth. As an adult with this serious of a problem she should care enough about her husband to seek professional help. She sounds to me to be immature, naive, controlling, selfish, and/or slow. She (and probably her husband too) has a deep-seated problem that she needs to resolve herself. I think she is enjoying burdening others with her problem while feigning innocence and nonchalance. I also think she really enjoys the relationship as is and doesn't want to risk losing their emotional connection. I think she is afraid that once they have sex, he will begin to see her as a sex object vs his romantic, love interest. That is something they need to work through as a couple. Honestly, many men do change once they can have sex with you on a regular basis. But the answer cannot be to never have sex. I mean how long does she think this can go on? I'm tired and frustrated just writing out this response. There is just too much going on here honestly and no one really knows what's going on with her but her. Don't let her waste your time and energy on her marital problem. Tell her to seek professional help, see her gynecologist, discuss the problem with a therapist, and a female leader in the church. She has a multi-faceted problem that she has to take seriously. She may have been abused or she may be asexual. It could be anything girl. This is too complicated a problem for a group of girlfriends to solve. You are kind to care but there is not much you or your friends can do here. Just encourage her to seek professional help and stop sharing her marital business with so many.
I agree with sunnieb She is sharing way too much with you guys. I think it's okay to share some information because obviously she needs help and is reaching out and needs support. But she is sharing way too many details while not really sharing the truth. As an adult with this serious of a problem she should care enough about her husband to seek professional help. She sounds to me to be immature, naive, controlling, selfish, and/or slow. She (and probably her husband too) has a deep-seated problem that she needs to resolve herself. I think she is enjoying burdening others with her problem while feigning innocence and nonchalance. I also think she really enjoys the relationship as is and doesn't want to risk losing their emotional connection. I think she is afraid that once they have sex, he will begin to see her as a sex object vs his romantic, love interest. That is something they need to work through as a couple. Honestly, many men do change once they can have sex with you on a regular basis. But the answer cannot be to never have sex. I mean how long does she think this can go on?
I'm tired and frustrated just writing out this response. There is just too much going on here honestly and no one really knows what's going on with her but her. Don't let her waste your time and energy on her marital problem. Tell her to seek professional help, see her gynecologist, discuss the problem with a therapist, and a female leader in the church. She has a multi-faceted problem that she has to take seriously.
She may have been abused or she may be asexual. It could be anything girl. This is too complicated a problem for a group of girlfriends to solve. You are kind to care but there is not much you or your friends can do here. Just encourage her to seek professional help and stop sharing her marital business with so many.
This was the medical condition I was thinking of.She possibly had vaginismus.
Best to see a doc instead of taking to friends to rule things out.
She possibly had vaginismus. I find it interesting that she was able to express herself and feel the desire before marriage. Then after marriage **** gets real and she suddenly loses all desire?
Doesn't make sense. Her problems with pain are likely to be due to anxieties. Or possibly am intact hymen that's putting her off trying again because of the pain.
Best to see a doc instead of taking to friends to rule things out.