Advice Please :Boyfriend stares

[Silver]

I usually never ask for advice about a boyfriend, but I really need it. I could tell you all sorts of things about my boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend because we broke up about 2 hours ago), that would make you not like him. It might feed into the stereotypes in the other thread because he's Jamaican and he just had a baby with his ex which he told me about 3 months into our relationship and literally days before the baby was born, oh and there is so much more. But was bothered me was that I keep catching him staring at other girls when he's with me. Is this suppose to happen? He claims that he looks at everyone, but that's not what I see. I see him looking at any girl that looks less than 30 (he told me he likes younger girls too). He yelled at me today when I told him, and he said I have problems and issues etc. And he swore and became very disrespectful saying something about ask my mom and to look up jealousy and insecure in the dictionary. At this point I said bye, he did also and he hung up. Does me not liking him looking at other girls make me insecure? He went off about it, how I'm crazy because he looks at everyone. But I swear last week he checked out like 6 girls in total, and no men. Am I jealous/insecure/wrong?

 

[Candy_C]

I usually never ask for advice about a boyfriend, but I really need it. I could tell you all sorts of things about my boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend because we broke up about 2 hours ago), that would make you not like him. It might feed into the stereotypes in the other thread because he's Jamaican and he just had a baby with his ex which he told me about 3 months into our relationship and literally days before the baby was born, oh and there is so much more. But was bothered me was that I keep catching him staring at other girls when he's with me. Is this suppose to happen? He claims that he looks at everyone, but that's not what I see. I see him looking at any girl that looks less than 30 (he told me he likes younger girls too). He yelled at me today when I told him, and he said I have problems and issues etc. And he swore and became very disrespectful saying something about ask my mom and to look up jealousy and insecure in the dictionary. At this point I said bye, he did also and he hung up. Does me not liking him looking at other girls make me insecure? He went off about it, how I'm crazy because he looks at everyone. But I swear last week he checked out like 6 girls in total, and no men. Am I jealous/insecure/wrong?

are we with the same man???!!!!!

well thats what exactly happened to me


his reason for not telling me was because he knew i wouldnt have gotten with him

mad i know, but somehow i dont care

but anywho, the staring thing, not good - my man doesnt really look at gyal when were in public, well i dont catch him anyway and i'm very frugal

you should tell him STRAIGHT

jamaican men, and men in general arent good with hints

i told my man straight - if i find out hes playin me, hes gone

he can take his calls to his babymother in another room cos i dont wanna hear their business - i ask afterwards!

if i call and he doesnt answer the fone, he can expect me to cuss his cl**t

set the trend girly - tell him to stop

if eh dont lsiten


well stare at men and see how he feels

if he tries anything abusive, get militant on his butt!!!!

also download this ebook called rousing the lion

ITS AMAZING!!!! a book about the psychology of me thats got eye-poppin stuff in it

 

[vestaluv1]

I usually never ask for advice about a boyfriend, but I really need it. I could tell you all sorts of things about my boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend because we broke up about 2 hours ago), that would make you not like him. It might feed into the stereotypes in the other thread because he's Jamaican and he just had a baby with his ex which he told me about 3 months into our relationship and literally days before the baby was born, oh and there is so much more. But was bothered me was that I keep catching him staring at other girls when he's with me. Is this suppose to happen? He claims that he looks at everyone, but that's not what I see. I see him looking at any girl that looks less than 30 (he told me he likes younger girls too). He yelled at me today when I told him, and he said I have problems and issues etc. And he swore and became very disrespectful saying something about ask my mom and to look up jealousy and insecure in the dictionary. At this point I said bye, he did also and he hung up. Does me not liking him looking at other girls make me insecure? He went off about it, how I'm crazy because he looks at everyone. But I swear last week he checked out like 6 girls in total, and no men. Am I jealous/insecure/wrong?

- To the underlined
Hell no! - To the bolded
Yep, coz' he's a frickin' liar - To the red .

Please don't take him back! - To the Blue

IMO, you are not jealous, insecure or wrong just because you would like a little respect from your man .

Ahh, men ! ... AMEN!

 

[itismehmmkay]

Girl please. I need him to have enough self control to not be staring in my presence! Do not question yourself; that's a messed up feeling he's trying to give you.

 

[Silver]

are we with the same man???!!!!!

well thats what exactly happened to me


his reason for not telling me was because he knew i wouldnt have gotten with him

mad i know, but somehow i dont care

but anywho, the staring thing, not good - my man doesnt really look at gyal when were in public, well i dont catch him anyway and i'm very frugal

you should tell him STRAIGHT

jamaican men, and men in general arent good with hints

i told my man straight - if i find out hes playin me, hes gone

he can take his calls to his babymother in another room cos i dont wanna hear their business - i ask afterwards!

if i call and he doesnt answer the fone, he can expect me to cuss his cl**t

set the trend girly - tell him to stop

if eh dont lsiten


well stare at men and see how he feels

if he tries anything abusive, get militant on his butt!!!!

also download this ebook called rousing the lion

ITS AMAZING!!!! a book about the psychology of me thats got eye-poppin stuff in it

Wow, same thing for real?
Well my man was a jerk about the baby, he told me just before the baby was born he wished it was never there, and anything could happen to it, and he tried to avoid being there when the baby was born. I found out it's probably because the baby was born in the hospital I work at, and part of my job is to register babies. And that's right I was there when the baby came, but his ex never met me. And for some reason, I didn't care. He seemed to show me attention when it was my turn, except when he sees a girl that might possibly be attractive and he checks her out. He always tells me how he feels good or bad. So I decided to tell him what I feel part of the problem was. I take so much stuff from him, and then when I bring up this he cussed me out. I just don't want to seem insecure, I feel it's wrong for him to do it, but he doesn't see.

Did this book really help you? I might need it. I need help with men, cause when I talk about my man to people, he doesn't sound so good .

 

[Silver]

- To the underlined
Hell no! - To the bolded
Yep, coz' he's a frickin' liar - To the red .

Please don't take him back! - To the Blue

IMO, you are not jealous, insecure or wrong just because you would like a little respect from your man .

Ahh, men ! ... AMEN!

Girl please. I need him to have enough self control to not be staring in my presence! Do not question yourself; that's a messed up feeling he's trying to give you.

Oh thank you. I thought I was stupid for bringing it up to him. I mentioned it before when our relationship just started, but this time he got so mad he almost made me believe him. I didn't get rid of him the first time because I started thinking maybe it's normal for men to do that. But two days ago I got a clear view of it. I mean I stayed in the car while he would go into stores come out and check out two young girls walking pass him. Or the girl that drives up beside his car, and I'm talking about long stares, not glances, and then he remembers I'm in the car and tries to talk to me while he was quiet the whole time he was starring. One night he played it off when I was in the car with him telling me how the girl in another car was checking him out. I thought he was playing around cause I didn't see it that way.

 

[Candy_C]

Wow, same thing for real?
Well my man was a jerk about the baby, he told me just before the baby was born he wished it was never there, and anything could happen to it, and he tried to avoid being there when the baby was born. I found out it's probably because the baby was born in the hospital I work at, and part of my job is to register babies. And that's right I was there when the baby came, but his ex never met me. And for some reason, I didn't care. He seemed to show me attention when it was my turn, except when he sees a girl that might possibly be attractive and he checks her out. He always tells me how he feels good or bad. So I decided to tell him what I feel part of the problem was. I take so much stuff from him, and then when I bring up this he cussed me out. I just don't want to seem insecure, I feel it's wrong for him to do it, but he doesn't see.

Did this book really help you? I might need it. I need help with men, cause when I talk about my man to people, he doesn't sound so good .

the book helped me to get him to do what i want!!!!

i wanted more phone calls

the man phones me upto 8x a day (a lil excessive but nice)

i wanted more outings - more time - just generally things

it gave me the right lingo

men respond to action words, verbs and adjectives and nouns

for example
"when we were at *NAME OF VENUE*, i was ANGRY because remember when you said you like YOUNGER ladies, well i CAUGHT you LOOKING at them, and you call me INSECURE. The thing is i really APPRECIATE when you take me out - we always have a GREAT time! But you notice the girls and it AFFECTS ME, and gets me ANGRY. you know how much i like you, but i know if i were to look at other MEN like that you would be ANGRY like me. If you stop all this staring then me and you would have more FUN and EXCITEMENT - which would stop the arguing and create BALANCE"

lol i know this isnt how people normally talk, but i SWEARRRR it works!!

try it
he may look a little confused

but trust me, his INNER DOG will understand

the book says men are liek dogs and need to be trained

they are rewarded for good behaviour

and are punished for bad - go silent on him, then drop that paragraph!

 

[carcajada]

Wow, same thing for real?
Well my man was a jerk about the baby, he told me just before the baby was born he wished it was never there, and anything could happen to it, and he tried to avoid being there when the baby was born. I found out it's probably because the baby was born in the hospital I work at, and part of my job is to register babies. And that's right I was there when the baby came, but his ex never met me. And for some reason, I didn't care. He seemed to show me attention when it was my turn, except when he sees a girl that might possibly be attractive and he checks her out. He always tells me how he feels good or bad. So I decided to tell him what I feel part of the problem was. I take so much stuff from him, and then when I bring up this he cussed me out. I just don't want to seem insecure, I feel it's wrong for him to do it, but he doesn't see.

Did this book really help you? I might need it. I need help with men, cause when I talk about my man to people, he doesn't sound so good .

@ bolded: What do you see in this guy? He didn't respect his own child/fetus before it was born, didn't want to be there at the birth, disrespects you when you tell him how you feel, and disrespects you by lingering his glances at other women. I know you didn't make this thread in order for people to bash your boyfriend, so I'll fall back.

 

[song_of_serenity]

Why are so many women trying to find ways to mold these sorry behind men into a good guy? Just LEAVE. Find a guy who IS that good! Him not telling you about the baby should have been red flag number 1. How disrespectful...
Advice? You're broken up, STAY that way. And for him to say such horrible things about that baby he helped make! Believe, if you ended up in that situation, he'd be saying the same of you!
~*Janelle~*

 

[dlovely]

- To the underlined
Hell no! - To the bolded
Yep, coz' he's a frickin' liar - To the red .

Please don't take him back! - To the Blue

IMO, you are not jealous, insecure or wrong just because you would like a little respect from your man .

Ahh, men ! ... AMEN!

I agree with you 100%!!! I use to date this guy-- long time ago and one day, we were going to the movies and this girl w/a revealing outfit was walking ahead of us- everyone noticed her! When she walked past us-- you know what he did? He nearly broke his neck to look at her bum!! That was it.. We were through right there and then!

I wish you hugs

 

[Silver]

@ bolded: What do you see in this guy? He didn't respect his own child/fetus before it was born, didn't want to be there at the birth, disrespects you when you tell him how you feel, and disrespects you by lingering his glances at other women. I know you didn't make this thread in order for people to bash your boyfriend, so I'll fall back.

That's why I need advice with relationships. Sometimes I feel he was the best relationship I have been in. This dude convinces me certain things he does are ok. I feel like I'm being stupidified by listening to him, or I'm stupid because I don't agree with him.

 

[Irresistible]

I usually never ask for advice about a boyfriend, but I really need it. I could tell you all sorts of things about my boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend because we broke up about 2 hours ago), that would make you not like him. It might feed into the stereotypes in the other thread because he's Jamaican and he just had a baby with his ex which he told me about 3 months into our relationship and literally days before the baby was born, oh and there is so much more. But was bothered me was that I keep catching him staring at other girls when he's with me. Is this suppose to happen? He claims that he looks at everyone, but that's not what I see. I see him looking at any girl that looks less than 30 (he told me he likes younger girls too). He yelled at me today when I told him, and he said I have problems and issues etc. And he swore and became very disrespectful saying something about ask my mom and to look up jealousy and insecure in the dictionary. At this point I said bye, he did also and he hung up. Does me not liking him looking at other girls make me insecure? He went off about it, how I'm crazy because he looks at everyone. But I swear last week he checked out like 6 girls in total, and no men. Am I jealous/insecure/wrong?

Truth be told I think its a planned tactic to make you insecure, so he can then call you insecure then put all the blame on you when you want to leave. Its abuse , covertly fine and simple

always remember you dont have to deal with anything that makes you uncomfortable and feels disrespectful and any man without a hidden agenda will understand what its making you feel

ugh@ men

 

[Candy_C]

Wow, same thing for real?
Well my man was a jerk about the baby, he told me just before the baby was born he wished it was never there, and anything could happen to it, and he tried to avoid being there when the baby was born. I found out it's probably because the baby was born in the hospital I work at, and part of my job is to register babies. And that's right I was there when the baby came, but his ex never met me. And for some reason, I didn't care. He seemed to show me attention when it was my turn, except when he sees a girl that might possibly be attractive and he checks her out. He always tells me how he feels good or bad. So I decided to tell him what I feel part of the problem was. I take so much stuff from him, and then when I bring up this he cussed me out. I just don't want to seem insecure, I feel it's wrong for him to do it, but he doesn't see.

Did this book really help you? I might need it. I need help with men, cause when I talk about my man to people, he doesn't sound so good .

OH MY GOOODDD

i never saw this part

omygod that is DISGUSTING

GET RID OF HIM NOW!!!!!!!! i hate men liek that i really do

my man loves his baby boy, loves his kids equally!!

he said any kid born for him gets looked after, regardless of the circumstances

and i know for sure, he goes toys r us spends half his wages on things....gets toys, clothes .. stocked fridge etc

sends big money back to jamaica to his 2 kids over there

he is a brilliant father - wow i'm very passionate about innocent beings such as babies

i think hes disgusting, kick him away!!


even though i wouldnt have my mans children until we were married, he wants more and tells me when i'm ready, let him know and we can get a bigger place etc, (most jamaican men do love to mek pikney) i know that if an accident were to happen, my pill messed up, he would 100% be there for me and my child - you cant be sure of that with your guy

and trust me you dont want that!!!!!

 

[Irresistible]

That's why I need advice with relationships. Sometimes I feel he was the best relationship I have been in. This dude convinces me certain things he does are ok. I feel like I'm being stupidified by listening to him, or I'm stupid because I don't agree with him.

why do women second guess themselves so much?

and once a man gets wind that you will do this? its on and poppin with the power plays!

 

[carcajada]

That's why I need advice with relationships. Sometimes I feel he was the best relationship I have been in. This dude convinces me certain things he does are ok. I feel like I'm being stupidified by listening to him, or I'm stupid because I don't agree with him.

I'm just hesitant on the relationship board sometimes because people get really defensive when some of us mean no harm.

PLEASE don't fall for his mind games. I don't think any book or magazine is going to make him respect you when he doesn't even respect his own child. You deserve a guy who will stand on principle, respect, responsibility..etc. (which this guy hasn't shown) and treat you the way you deserve.

 

[Candy_C]

why do women second guess themselves so much?

and once a man gets wind that you will do this? its on and poppin with the power plays!

trust me, true stories!!

i'm too suspicious to 2nd guess

anything i try to keep in comes right out!!!

 

[Candy_C]

I'm just hesitant on the relationship board sometimes because people get really defensive when some of us mean no harm.

PLEASE don't fall for his mind games. I don't think any book or magazine is going to make him respect you when he doesn't even respect his own child. You deserve a guy who will stand on principle, respect, responsibility..etc. (which this guy hasn't shown) and treat you the way you deserve.

before i read the kid part, that book would've helped trust me

but bluergh, forget i recommended it for this man

 

[Irresistible]

the book helped me to get him to do what i want!!!!

i wanted more phone calls

the man phones me upto 8x a day (a lil excessive but nice)

i wanted more outings - more time - just generally things

it gave me the right lingo

men respond to action words, verbs and adjectives and nouns

for example
"when we were at *NAME OF VENUE*, i was ANGRY because remember when you said you like YOUNGER ladies, well i CAUGHT you LOOKING at them, and you call me INSECURE. The thing is i really APPRECIATE when you take me out - we always have a GREAT time! But you notice the girls and it AFFECTS ME, and gets me ANGRY. you know how much i like you, but i know if i were to look at other MEN like that you would be ANGRY like me. If you stop all this staring then me and you would have more FUN and EXCITEMENT - which would stop the arguing and create BALANCE"

lol i know this isnt how people normally talk, but i SWEARRRR it works!!

try it
he may look a little confused

but trust me, his INNER DOG will understand

the book says men are liek dogs and need to be trained

they are rewarded for good behaviour

and are punished for bad - go silent on him, then drop that paragraph!

they are just too much work! I swear, having to point out the obvious so nicely and politely gets aggravating but your right they dont comprhend feelings unless you talk with no feeling and even then its a gamble......

 

[Blaque*Angel]

Why are so many women trying to find ways to mold these sorry behind men into a good guy? Just LEAVE. Find a guy who IS that good! Him not telling you about the baby should have been red flag number 1. How disrespectful...
Advice? You're broken up, STAY that way. And for him to say such horrible things about that baby he helped make! Believe, if you ended up in that situation, he'd be saying the same of you!
~*Janelle~*

real talk if a man is a dog. let him go!!! there a plenty of fish in the sea

 

[carcajada]

before i read the kid part, that book would've helped trust me

but bluergh, forget i recommended it for this man

I'm all for communicating with men in a way they understand, but I've also learned that it's not as complicated and scripted as a lot of people make it out to be.

 

[Candy_C]

I'm all for communicating with men in a way they understand, but I've also learned that it's not as complicated and scripted as a lot of people make it out to be.

yes thats right, i dont talk to my man in such robotic speech but i do stick to the verbs, nouns adjectives thing when i'm serious

personally it works for me and alot of others i know i should've said maybe

 

[Silver]

I actually feel a bit better. I wanted to bring it up to you ladies before I mentioned it to him to see if it was worth mentioning. But I was so busy at work (I spoke to him just after work) and the woman I was working with is the type to tell on someone for chatting on the internet. Whenever I talk to people about him it makes him sound so bad, but I guess he ain't really that great.

 

[treybaby2005]

I'm sorry that you are going through this.He is disrepectful in all parts of your story from the staring at women to the lack of interest for his own child.Simply pathetic.I know my SO looks at other women.Hell I look at other men!But if it got to the point where he has to break his neck looking at a woman with me beside him,yes I would be very upset that is disrespectful.Now if the girl is a HAM then he gets a "get out of jail free" pass because we both be looking and laughing.

 

[Candy_C]

I actually feel a bit better. I wanted to bring it up to you ladies before I mentioned it to him to see if it was worth mentioning. But I was so busy at work (I spoke to him just after work) and the woman I was working with is the type to tell on someone for chatting on the internet. Whenever I talk to people about him it makes him sound so bad, but I guess he ain't really that great.

yes when you put it all on a plate it seems like hes the worst man alive

if it makes u feel any better i'm sure your not the first and definately not the last to be with a guy like this

i know my man MUST look at girls when i'm not around, hes very beautiful too i know he has many admirers

but he just doesnt do it when were out - its just respect at the end of the day

we can say LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM but i bet theres been time in our lvies when we have forgiven men for things and put it aside

so you know do what YOU want, just take heed, especially when it comes to kids, dont get pregnant

 

[song_of_serenity]

I actually feel a bit better. I wanted to bring it up to you ladies before I mentioned it to him to see if it was worth mentioning. But I was so busy at work (I spoke to him just after work) and the woman I was working with is the type to tell on someone for chatting on the internet. Whenever I talk to people about him it makes him sound so bad, but I guess he ain't really that great.

He's making himself sound bad. He is what he is. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but as many women have said, "If a man shows you who he is, believe him!" He's playing mindgames with you, that isn't cool at all...I'm afraid if left to his own devices, it would have elevated into something worse...
~*Janelle~*

 

[ladylibra]

okay well... i think it's natural for guys to notice other women. i know i sure do notice other men!

but from the other stuff you mentioned about your SO, especially since you're making it sound like what you said is just the tip of the iceburg... he's just downright disrespectful. i mean my SO will notice a girl's cleavage hanging out but he's not gonna stare and break his neck to look. come on now.

you can do better.

 

[Silver]

okay well... i think it's natural for guys to notice other women. i know i sure do notice other men!

but from the other stuff you mentioned about your SO, especially since you're making it sound like what you said is just the tip of the iceburg... he's just downright disrespectful. i mean my SO will notice a girl's cleavage hanging out but he's not gonna stare and break his neck to look. come on now.

you can do better.

I don't know why I let go of the other stuff, but I don't let go of this. It made me wonder if I was insecure, I do think he might ask another girl out one day if she shows interest. I mean he picked me up outside a grocery store, so he must have been looking. But yeah last week when we were out it was like 1030 at night and dark, so he was reeaaalllly looking to see them, and there was no cleavage. I don't think the girls were better looking than me, but what was he looking for? Do you consider that to be natural or ok, or is it different? He seems to stare at girls mostly of other races, but always girls, so he can't say nothing about people.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Oh, Silver, sweetie... you sound like me once upon a time...

I think you are a little insecure, and you sound quite young, too. It's not fair for him to call you insecure like it's a derogatory horrible thing! Men choose women who feel insecure for 1 big reason: they can play games, manipulate you, cheat, get caught in lies... and talk thier way out of it. Please. Please just leave this man alone, and spend some time doing your own thing WITHOUT a boyfriend for a while. Then take your time finding someone who is kind, honest, and hard-working.

I wish you all the best.

 

[Honey6928215]

Honey, if he's staring at women while in your presence then tries to call you insecure and trying to break bad with you then you need to get to stepping. All he's going to bring to you is drama and that's all you will get from him.

 

[Farida]

Please. All men stare, but polite, respectful men, don't do it obviously and shamelessly, and especially not in front of their woman.


Now, with what you said about him, staring is the least of his issues. I would stay away.