Advice I want to file for Divorce

[blazingthru]

Anyone please tell me where do you begin I want to file ASAP. I actually can't wait to get to the office, I will be depressed and an emotional mess later but right now I want to divorce my husband I been with him for 20 years and I have had enough, he is not reasonable, will not work it out so that we both end up okay. He is making things horrible for me. I need money from him to take care of the kids although they are older now they still aren't ready to be out there on their own just yet. We have been fighting for 7 years non stop. We don't have sex - well we did for about two weeks straight in July 05 and three years nothing and now we are in the 8th month of no intimacy nonewhatsoever and he is a mean nasty hateful person and I ready to get out of it. I will be homeless and that is a big concern I guess just going down to the court office won't help me get money from him will it. I'll get child support but that will not be enough and besides I don't agree on me living on my childs support thats crazy in my opinion. I work I make a good salary but not enough to support me and the children alone. I want to talk to someone today I want to file ASAP. I have all of my family on my back asking me to get out but no one is saying hey come stay here until you get on your feet. or here is a few dollars to bank for a house or nothing they are just saying leave him as soon as you can. My husband is a loose cannon he blows up for no reason things that just come across his mind and he runs with anything he hears and makes it into something else. I can't take it anymore I been hanging in there no sex for 3.5 years except for those two weeks which I don't want to count either and that is just how it is 18 months before that. We only are intimate when he wants to be, we only have fun when he wants to, we only talk when he wants to and even he will shut that down by leaving if he doesn't like what i have to say infact he doesnt' even listen to what I have to say. He is quite nasty. We sleep in the same bed and we have our own blankets can you believe that anyway if for some reason mines fall on the floor he will leave it there all day and even step on it. Its a small thing but I wouldn't do anything like that oh theres tons more but I really need some advice on filing for this divorce.

 

[ElegantExotic]

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to tell you to stay strong.

 

[Robin41]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You sound like you are really in distress. First of all, try not to be so upset you make yourself sick. You still have a lot to do with work, your kids and getting your personal life in order so try to keep it together.

My advice would be to get to an attorney as soon as possible, before you do anything else, in fact. It might not be a smart move to leave your marital home initially. Speak with someone before you do anything.

Good luck to you.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

I am sorry to hear you are going thru this. I would agree about legal advice first. Maybe there are some lawyers on the board.

Do you own your own home? If you are seeking custody of the children you may not be the one who has to leave the residence.

Even though no one is voluntarily offering their residence you can still ask. All they can say is no, but I would definitely suggest legal advice to find out your options.

 

[lana]

If you want to file Pro Se, (without an attorney) go to the County Clerk's office, law library, ask for the divorce book, copy the Complaint, Summons and Default paperwork. Fill out the Complaint and Summons, serve him and then file them with the court for $150.00. Wait 21 days to see if he responds. If he doesn't fill out the Notice of Default, file that with the court for free. Wait about 15 days for your court hearing to be set. Once you have a hearing date set fill out the Default Notice for Divorce for your state, file that with the court for free. Your divorce should be final within 60 days of the date you file. The only thing that may slow it down is children (child support and so forth will need to be mediated.)

Best wishes, from one free woman to another.

 

[lana]

Lastly do not leave the home if you desire to stay there. If you leave it shows that you can provide for yourself on your own (wherever you go). If he hires an attory it'll come up in court.

Because you have children and property I would suggest that you hire an attorney. I didn't need one, but it was just me, no property, no kiddies which was a quiet blessing.

 

[PaperDoll]

If you want to file Pro Se, (without an attorney) go to the County Clerk's office, law library, ask for the divorce book, copy the Complaint, Summons and Default paperwork. Fill out the Complaint and Summons, serve him and then file them with the court for $150.00. Wait 21 days to see if he responds. If he doesn't fill out the Notice of Default, file that with the court for free. Wait about 15 days for your court hearing to be set. Once you have a hearing date set fill out the Default Notice for Divorce for your state, file that with the court for free. Your divorce should be final within 60 days of the date you file. The only thing that may slow it down is children (child support and so forth will need to be mediated.)

Best wishes, from one free woman to another.

God is so good! I was hoping someone had this information for her cuz I knew I sure didn't *smile* Lana you rock!

Trudy, you (and your children) are in my prayers I hope things will work out for you. (((hugs)))