Adventures in Online Dating!!

L

Lindy

New Member
I'm new to the dating scene and I thought it would be fun to start a thread where we can share our online dating stories/experiences... the good, the bad, and the ugly!! :laugh:

I'll start... last weekend I had a date with a guy... a white guy, about 10 yrs. older than me; we had a good telephone conversation but his photo was only a head shot, so I was a bit leary about what he might look like in person... not that looks are EVERYTHING, but well, I feel like I NEED to have an attraction to the man I'm with, otherwise, it just isn't going to work, ya know?? :yep:

Well anyway, we met for coffee and as soon as I saw him I knew that it was not going to be a love connection. He was a bit overweight, with a beer belly. I am slim and I work out and keep myself in shape; I can't help it; I want a man who does the same!! I mean, he doesn't have to be muscle-bound, but he can't be sloppy!! :nono: Even though the conversation went well, there were no sparks, no physical attraction. He told me that he was very attracted to me and that the minute he saw me, he wanted to throw me over his shoulder and take me home! :look: He then asked whether I wanted to see him again. OMG, how awkward!! I floundered for a bit (not prepared!!) then finally told him that I felt more of a friend connection with him... :crazy: This is the horrible part of online dating! I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but didn't want to lie either!! :perplexed

Anyone else have any stories, and/or any suggestions of what to do in this situation??
 
I'm online dating as well.

Did you submit a picture of yourself? I'm just now realizing I don't take good photos, I'm a bit worried because I want to see a photo of him and I'm not happy with mine.:perplexed

What kind questions did you ask him? How long was it before you did a face to face?

Just Curious.......I'm new to it.:spinning:
 
I have been on many, many, many online dates. At first, I didn't take it seriously. Recently, I have begun to be more serious about it. The last date I went on was also with white guy. Nice over the phone, good conversation, two full body pics, kind of cute. I posted some info about him in another thread in the OT forum. He is 44, never married and no kids. I was...a little concerned... wondered why he had not been married b4 at 44. Anyway, we met. As soon as I saw him I knew that he posted old pics on the site. He looked at least 5 to 10 years older than his pictures. I was disappointed... We hung out for a couple hours because the conversation was good but I do not see me dating him. For one, I could tell from his conversation that he was not a settled person; he seemed to be a bit of a job hopper. Now, don't get me wrong, I've job hopped quite a bit but unfortunately now I'm more settled in my position or "career." And, I would like someone that is somewhat like me, stable with a free spirit itch. He was also more touchy feely that I like especially on a first date which I had to tell him. He really turned me off by not being upfront about his current appearance. He admitted that there was a difference in the pics he posted and what he looks like now but chalked it up to "having a little less hair." I feel if you'd lie about something like that you'd lie about anything. Although I had fun on our date (he appears adventuruous, spontaneous, etc...). I get weird vibes from him and don't think there will be a second date.

Shellatl: to answer your questions. What kind questions did you ask him? How long was it before you did a face to face?

I asked the basic questions over the phone, last relationship, kids, marriage, what are you looking for, what has your online experience been like, are you crazy (lol).
I don't waste a lot of time with the initial meeting. I used to drag it out, talk on the phone for two weeks, blah blah blah. I don't have the patience for that anymore. You could waste all that time talking to the person on the phone just to meet them and realize that there is no chemistry in person. So, I usually talk to them over the phone 2 or 3 times and then set up a meeting for coffee or something. Not sure if this is the best thing to do but it works for me.

Good luck finding love ladies. :)

ETA: Sorry about the long post.
 
Lilakoi’s_Sister said:
I have been on many, many, many online dates. At first, I didn't take it seriously. Recently, I have begun to be more serious about it. The last date I went on was also with white guy. Nice over the phone, good conversation, two full body pics, kind of cute. I posted some info about him in another thread in the OT forum. He is 44, never married and no kids. I was...a little concerned... wondered why he had not been married b4 at 44. Anyway, we met. As soon as I saw him I knew that he posted old pics on the site. He looked at least 5 to 10 years older than his pictures. I was disappointed... We hung out for a couple hours because the conversation was good but I do not see me dating him. For one, I could tell from his conversation that he was not a settled person; he seemed to be a bit of a job hopper. Now, don't get me wrong, I've job hopped quite a bit but unfortunately now I'm more settled in my position or "career." And, I would like someone that is somewhat like me, stable with a free spirit itch. He was also more touchy feely that I like especially on a first date which I had to tell him. He really turned me off by not being upfront about his current appearance. He admitted that there was a difference in the pics he posted and what he looks like now but chalked it up to "having a little less hair." I feel if you'd lie about something like that you'd lie about anything. Although I had fun on our date (he appears adventuruous, spontaneous, etc...). I get weird vibes from him and don't think there will be a second date.

Shellatl: to answer your questions. What kind questions did you ask him? How long was it before you did a face to face?

I asked the basic questions over the phone, last relationship, kids, marriage, what are you looking for, what has your online experience been like, are you crazy (lol).
I don't waste a lot of time with the initial meeting. I used to drag it out, talk on the phone for two weeks, blah blah blah. I don't have the patience for that anymore. You could waste all that time talking to the person on the phone just to meet them and realize that there is no chemistry in person. So, I usually talk to them over the phone 2 or 3 times and then set up a meeting for coffee or something. Not sure if this is the best thing to do but it works for me.

Good luck finding love ladies. :)

ETA: Sorry about the long post.
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I gave up on online dating a while ago, but when I was actively dating I also found that men lie about a variety of things especially their appearance and age. I did the same thing you did, by not wasting alot of time talking to, e-mailing or IM's. If a guy did not offer to meet after a few conversations, I did not bother with communicating with the guy anymore. I also found some of the guys just wanted a quick booty call too, with not relationship. Online dating just does not seem to be for me, even though I know other ladies have success stories.
 
I do not do online dating anymore because I only got bad experiences with it. The funniest story was actually my first online date. Well it was supposed to be a date anyway. I meet this guy online and he looks very attractive from his picture. When we do meet face to face he is all of 5 feet or less. :lachen: I am 5'6 and I had on heels that day. We decided to call it a day and that this was not a love connection.
 
lady_godiva said:
I do not do online dating anymore because I only got bad experiences with it. The funniest story was actually my first online date. Well it was supposed to be a date anyway. I meet this guy online and he looks very attractive from his picture. When we do meet face to face he is all of 5 feet or less. :lachen: I am 5'6 and I had on heels that day. We decided to call it a day and that this was not a love connection.
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lady godiva: so how do meet folks (men) now? i have a hard time meeting guys when i'm out and about. my guard is always up because i'm afraid i'll get mugged or kidnapped or something. :perplexed so... men rarely approach me and when they do, they're like... thugged out or crazy or something.
 
I also like to meet for coffee shortly after one or two telephone conversations. Like someone else said, there's no sense in talking on the phone for weeks and then you meet in person and you're like.. :nono:. That sucks. I'd rather find out sooner than later whether we click in person or not...

Now listen to this story... I called up this guy on Friday night; (met him online)... he had given me his number on Thursday night and told me to give him a call, so I told him I'd call him Friday night around 9 p.m. I called and we had a pretty good conversation... at the time that I called him, he was out getting coffee, which I found a bit odd at 9:30 on a Friday night, but... whatever! Anyway, we ended the conversation with him saying that he wasn't sure when he'd be able to come out my way (he lives in NJ, about 45 mins. to an hour from where I live) but that he'd give me a call next week to set up a date. OK fine. 5 minutes after we hung up, I get a text message from him. It says: "Coffee gave me new life. Let me know if you want to hang out 2nite"... I'm like... :huh: He can't be serious. It's now just about 11:00 p.m., it's pouring rain outside, and I've never met this guy. WTH??!! So I text him back "Ummm, you're kidding, right?" And he texts back the first message again!! Now I'm really like, WTH??!! So I call him and ask him what he's talking about. He says that it's not that late, and he thought that maybe I'd want to hang out. I'm like, first of all, it's late, second, it's raining, and third, I think that when we meet for the first time it should be daylight. He says "that's a good point"... :look:

I don't even know if I'll ever hear from him again, and I'm not sure if I even want to. He ruined it!! :perplexed Up until the text message, he was looking like a good prospect!! :ohwell: What in the world did he think we were going to hang out and do at 12:30 or 1:00 a.m... was he looking for a booty call, or what??? :mad:
 
Lindy said:
Now listen to this story... I called up this guy on Friday night; (met him online)... he had given me his number on Thursday night and told me to give him a call, so I told him I'd call him Friday night around 9 p.m. I called and we had a pretty good conversation... at the time that I called him, he was out getting coffee, which I found a bit odd at 9:30 on a Friday night, but... whatever! Anyway, we ended the conversation with him saying that he wasn't sure when he'd be able to come out my way (he lives in NJ, about 45 mins. to an hour from where I live) but that he'd give me a call next week to set up a date. OK fine. 5 minutes after we hung up, I get a text message from him. It says: "Coffee gave me new life. Let me know if you want to hang out 2nite"... I'm like... :huh: He can't be serious. It's now just about 11:00 p.m., it's pouring rain outside, and I've never met this guy. WTH??!! So I text him back "Ummm, you're kidding, right?" And he texts back the first message again!! Now I'm really like, WTH??!! So I call him and ask him what he's talking about. He says that it's not that late, and he thought that maybe I'd want to hang out. I'm like, first of all, it's late, second, it's raining, and third, I think that when we meet for the first time it should be daylight. He says "that's a good point"... :look:
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ummm this is suspect. in my humble opinion, his other date called it off so he tried to use you as his back up. hopefully this is not true, but there is definitely something suspicious going on. i don't know about him. :nono:
 
Lindy said:
I also like to meet for coffee shortly after one or two telephone conversations. Like someone else said, there's no sense in talking on the phone for weeks and then you meet in person and you're like.. :nono:. That sucks. I'd rather find out sooner than later whether we click in person or not...

Now listen to this story... I called up this guy on Friday night; (met him online)... he had given me his number on Thursday night and told me to give him a call, so I told him I'd call him Friday night around 9 p.m. I called and we had a pretty good conversation... at the time that I called him, he was out getting coffee, which I found a bit odd at 9:30 on a Friday night, but... whatever! Anyway, we ended the conversation with him saying that he wasn't sure when he'd be able to come out my way (he lives in NJ, about 45 mins. to an hour from where I live) but that he'd give me a call next week to set up a date. OK fine. 5 minutes after we hung up, I get a text message from him. It says: "Coffee gave me new life. Let me know if you want to hang out 2nite"... I'm like... :huh: He can't be serious. It's now just about 11:00 p.m., it's pouring rain outside, and I've never met this guy. WTH??!! So I text him back "Ummm, you're kidding, right?" And he texts back the first message again!! Now I'm really like, WTH??!! So I call him and ask him what he's talking about. He says that it's not that late, and he thought that maybe I'd want to hang out. I'm like, first of all, it's late, second, it's raining, and third, I think that when we meet for the first time it should be daylight. He says "that's a good point"... :look:

I don't even know if I'll ever hear from him again, and I'm not sure if I even want to. He ruined it!! :perplexed Up until the text message, he was looking like a good prospect!! :ohwell: What in the world did he think we were going to hang out and do at 12:30 or 1:00 a.m... was he looking for a booty call, or what??? :mad:
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errmmm yes, Yes and YES!!!
 
Okay well here's mine:
I met a guy on Craigs list via my ad for a date to a Wizards game..A brotha responded..who looked tall dk and handsome. he told me he had floor seats and season tix...fine. I get there lookin too cute and this dude not only has a broken tooth in the front but it was also rotting:nono: (all black and grey and whatnot)...fine i deal with it, the seats were fabulous..but while watching the game he decides that he wanted to sit in the row infront of us so he moves up and leaves me behind..then he went and bought some drinks and didnt offer....fine...he starts talklin about how he has a range rover, lives in this high sidditty part of DC, usually dates models...blah blah blah...all the while I'm thinkiin...well if u got all that then whats up with some veneers????:spinning:....I tried not be all about looks so I gave him the chance at another date....this time it was cold as antarctica outside and this dude rolls up on the same motorcycle that he had the last time i saw him...i was like WTF!!!!!...he doesnt even have a whoopty????....we go to the movies and he pays with a free coupon......I was too through....then he wanted to play all lovie dovey......i was so grossed out......finally the last straw was when he made a statement that mixed girls were a higher caliber of women than black women....i was like u do know i'm black right.....thats not something u say to a sistah, u usually keep thise thoughts to ur self.....needless to say he kept callin and i kept ignoring

funny thing is that i recently saw him outside this club out in dc and he was still on that bike
 
Ok Ladies, I have good one for ya. Although I have had my share of bad online meetings I want to share a good story with you guys. I started online dating in Nov 2005 and met a few people that were cool and a few who were crazy as all get out :spinning: However the guy Im currently with I met online and he is the love of my life :grin:. Now what is funny is when he intially contacted me i saw his pics and read his stats and thought to myself hmmmm, he's ok looking not really my type but we exchanged numbers and spoke on and off for months.

Now normally if it was someone I was interested in we would have met immediately but like I said I wasnt really feeling him. In any event we spoke off and on for about 6 months and although he wanted to meet i was a little hesitant because I just knew I would not like him. Although our phone conversations were always good and he was a really nice guy I was still in no rush to meet. We lost contact for a minute and subsequently he found me on another online dating site a few months later and sent me a message saying he lost my number and really wanted to see me :perplexed. So I'm like what are the odds, but I give him my number anyway and he says he will call when he comes back in town because he was away on business.

So When he gets back he calls and we speak a few times and on one particular day I was suppose to be meeting up with this other dude I met on a site and we did and he was so not my type, (shorter than me i'm 5'11) so anyway i get back from my date with him and the other guy calls me and asks to see me, so I'm like what the heck I look cute and my night cant get any worse :grin:. So i agree to meet him not too far from my house at this restuarant.

when I get to the place we agreed he's parked outside, he gets out the car and I'm in absolute love :lachen:i wanted to put this man in my pocket. His pictures did him absolutely no justice ladies he was the most adorable thing i had ever seen, he proceeds to give me the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, takes my hand and walks me into the restuarant. We talk and laugh and enjoy one another we really hit it off instantly, it was as if we had known each other forever, I guess because we had spoke so many times prior so the akwardness wasn't there. Needless to say we have been together ever since which now is about a year and a half :yep:.
 
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Tayw29 said:
Ok Ladies, I have good one for ya. Although I have had my share of bad online meetings I want to share a good story with you guys. I started online dating in Nov 2005 and met a few people that were cool and a few who were crazy as all get out :spinning: However the guy Im currently with I met online and he is the love of my life :grin:. Now what is funny is when he intially contacted me i saw his pics and read his stats and thought to myself hmmmm, he's ok looking not really my type but we exchanged numbers and spoke on and off for months.

Now normally if it was someone I was interested in we would have met immediately but like I said I wasnt really feeling him. In any event we spoke off and on for about 6 months and although he wanted to meet i was a little hesitant because I just knew I would not like him. Although our phone conversations were always good and he was a really nice guy I was still in no rush to meet. We lost contact for a minute and subsequently he found me on another online dating site a few months later and sent me a message saying he lost my number and really wanted to see me :perplexed. So I'm like what are the odds, but I give him my number anyway and he says he will call when he comes back in town because he was away on business.

So When he gets back he calls and we speak a few times and on one particular day I was suppose to be meeting up with this other dude I met on a site and we did and he was so not my type, (shorter than me i'm 5'11) so anyway i get back from my date with him and the other guy calls me and asks to see me, so I'm like what the heck I look cute and my night cant get any worse :grin:. So i agree to meet him not too far from my house at this restuarant.

when I get to the place we agreed he's parked outside, he gets out the car and I'm in absolute love :lachen:i wanted to put this man in my pocket. His pictures did him absolutely no justice ladies he was the most adorable thing i had ever seen, he proceeds to give me the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, takes my hand and walks me into the restuarant. We talk and laugh and enjoy one another we really hit it off instantly, it was as if we had known each other forever, I guess because we had spoke so many times prior so the akwardness wasn't there. Needless to say we have been together ever since which now is about a year and a half :yep:.
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oh my, i love your story. thanks for sharing it with us. i know it gives me some hope. :)
 
I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had to shine some light on the online dating horror stories. Its not all bad ladies there is hope :yep:
 
Well, I've tried online dating, too. I am definitely learning my lesson. Photos can be very misleading.

I was talking to this white guy online who had sent me a photo of himself. He was a little older, but he was educated, no kids, etc.. so I thought, ok I will give him a chance.

So we end up meeting, and I notice right away that he is nothing like he was in his photo. He was much thinner, he appeared to be much older, at least a decade, he walked funny, and if that wasn't bad enough, dude had a hump on his back... I am not even kidding.

I don't think I need to tell you ladies what happened with that.
 
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darkangel25 said:
Well, I've tried online dating, too. I am definitely learning my lesson. Photos can be very misleading.

I was talking to this white guy online who had sent me a photo of himself. He was a little older, but he was educated, no kids, etc.. so I thought, ok I will give him a chance.

So we end up meeting, and I notice right away that he is nothing like he was in his photo. He was much thinner, he appeared to be much older, at least a decade, he walked funny, and if that wasn't bad enough, dude had a hump on his back... I am not even kidding.

I don't think I need to tell you ladies what happened with that.
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eek! a real live hump? dang, i never had that problem, maybe i should count my blessings. :perplexed thanks for sharing.
 
darkangel25 said:
Well, I've tried online dating, too. I am definitely learning my lesson. Photos can be very misleading.
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If that isn't the truth I don't know what is! Photos are so misleading. I think maybe 1 guy that I met looked EXACTLY like his photo :love: .

Out of the other 3, 2 looked NOTHING like their picture (1 even had a reduced fare MetroCard) :barf: and the other 1 looked NOTHING like his picture and in fact was MORE gorgeous...I couldn't even stop staring at him. He looked buff tooth and corny in his picture but I gave him a chance .... Glad I did :yep:
 
OK SO..there was a ton of buzz about bpm..just wanted to add my 2 cents..

dont sleep on bpm..there are a couple professioanl athletes on there and there are 3 of ebony magaziens most elegible bachelors who have profiles on there and some good christian brothas mixed in with the idiots and weirdosss..lol

right now iv'e decided to chat with a professional golfer whose brroher is a well known professional football player--

i dont know about the other sites..but although bpm has some weirods there r also some eligible decent men on there...i am on for a month and will de fnto renew--my irl dudes r already enough for me

who knew--go fig-- i never even dabbled in online dating but im letting it entertain me for a minute...

to be cont'd

everyone's stories here are funny *** hell..lol
 
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BAP28 said:
OK SO..there was a ton fo buzz about bpm..just wanted to add my 2 cents..

dont sleep on bpm..there arlea coupel professioanl athletes on there and there are 3 of ebony magaziens most elegible bachelors who have profiles on there and some good christian brothas mixxe din withthe idiots..lol

right now iv'e decided to chat with a professional golfer whose brroher is a well known professional football player--

i dont know about the other sites..but although bpm has some weirods there r also some eligible decent men on there...

who knew--go fig-- i never even dabbled in online dating but im letting it entertain me for a minute...

to be cont'd

everyone's stories are funny *** hell..lol
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:) I been on bpm too. girl everyone I met off there had someone or just seemed disinterested. maybe it was just me. :ohwell:
 
I just signed up for BPM and most of the men on there (in my age range)are NOT appealing to me, AT ALL... :nono: Thank Goodness I only signed up for one month... :look:

And just an update... I got an e-mail from "Booty Call Boy" last night. He was actually really nice; he said that he thinks I "got the wrong message" from the text msg. that he sent that night... that he just wanted to spend a little time with me and because he keeps crazy hours, (he's a violent crimes detective) For him, it really wasn't that late... Then he sent me a text msg. earlier today to wish me a Happy Halloween (cute! :grin: )

I think I'm going to give him one more chance to redeem himself :yep: but if it happens again, it's curtains for him... :laugh:
 
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I've only met up with one guy I met online. Ok he was 3 yrs younger than me and still in school (when I was 23 I was done with college and working full time but we don't all have the same time table right?). We messaged back and forth for about a month he seemed ok (good sense of humor, open minded, intelligent) so when he asked for my number I gave it to him. Within 2 min of the first conversation he asks me out to dinner that caught me off guard but the conversation was kind of flirty and it seemed like he might be on my level from a personality standpoint and that's hard to find.

So I pick a restaurant downtown to meet up at. He ends up being about 15-20 min late and he's the one that lives downtown! I call and he says he's lost (hello Mapquest!). So I'm sitting out at one of the tables in front and I see this little guy walking (oh that walk whew was priceless) up the street looking straight at me. Now his profile said he was 5' 11" and he told me about how he used to play basketball when he was in high school and whatever. Sure enough this little guy walks straight up to me. He was very clever all the pix on his profile were profile shots or from strange angles that made him look bigger/tall, sorta cute, totally DIFFERENT from reality. He was rocking VANS sneakers, a dingy t-shirt, and jeans. I was in shock I was stuck for a good 15 min I didn't know where to turn or what to say. Luckily I thought ahead and double booked the night with my friends b-day party so I was running on a clock.

I don't know if online is for me guys spend too time trying to pull one over on you.
 
hrtbndr21 said:
I see this little guy walking (oh that walk whew was priceless) up the street looking straight at me. Now his profile said he was 5' 11" and he told me about how he used to play basketball when he was in high school and whatever. Sure enough this little guy walks straight up to me. He was very clever all the pix on his profile were profile shots or from strange angles that made him look bigger/tall, sorta cute, totally DIFFERENT from reality.
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That's ridiculous!! Did you call him on it??? I sure would have!! :laugh:
 
This thread is hilarious. Here is my online dating story..

I had been talking to this guy for a few months (well like 6). He lived out of state. Then he decides he wants to come pay me a visit for the weekend. I'm like ok, cool. I pick him up from the airport and he's not quiiiiite what I expected from his pics, but it wasn't too too bad.

I drive us to the hotel.. it was a Residence Inn. It was pretty nice. The downstairs had like the living room and the kitchen then the bedroom and bathroom were upstairs. So we get there and get settled and everything. I went upstairs to put some of my things away. While I'm up there, he has gotten himself all comfortable and taken his shirt off. I'm skippin down the stairs and catch a glimpse of him and almost fall and break my neck. This dude looks like he's about 15 months pregnant. Mind you I'm stuck with him for the weekend. LOL. I'm like greeeat.

We sit on the couch and start talking. We had been talking in the car, but I was driving and couldn't face him. I could now. Now I could see his teeth. Or lack there of. He was missing 2 or 3 teeth on each side of his two front teeth. I was too through. :wallbash:

I still talked to him after that, gave him a sort-of honest opinion (cuz he asked). He was cool about it. We remained friends for awhile, but it wasn't the same.
 
Yeah, I stayed with him. I felt obligated. There was none of THAT goin on, please believe. He wasn't bout to squash me like a bug. No thank you!
 
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