Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7

I am in. I'm 25 a mother of two ans starting my life over again. I also believe this is the perfect time. I am now ready.
 
Count me in...Again! I had taken up this challenge before, last year, and failed. I guess it didn't help that I was living with my bf! Anyway, we are about to go our separate ways beginning October 10th. However, I started this challenge about 2 weeks ago (9/04). The temptation is getting weaker and weaker the more I stay focused on God and less on myself and my wants. I do know that I don't want to start over again, and more than anything else, disappoint my Father. Pray for me ladies as I will be praying for you.
 
Im in also!! :grin: I am so glad I have found this sight with women trying to do the right thing and uplifting each other. It's hard to find that type of crowd in college. This sight is really a blessing!!!
 
Wow, praise God. First I want to thank all of you that shared your stories with us. Second I wanted you all to know that it IS hard to find purity and MAINTAIN it. We all know what to do, we're just being procratinators with our 'can'ts' but you also must agree that Jesus can.

I have not had sex since Feb 2005; But it took me a long time to get there. I don't say this to compare numbers or discourage. I say it to help my sisters win this battle. I'm still struggling! And throughout this year and whatever months I haven't been entirely faithful to the plan! (For example, I cuddled with this man and.. let just say things happened. It wasn't sex but.. it wasn't purity)

In the last year I found that purity isn't just about not having sex but not putting myself in situations that are not aligned w/ my goals in Christ Jesus. Like, prayer AND action is what is going to save us. We have to make a promise to ourselves and be committed to the task at hand.

Let me share with you the things I've learned:

1 Know why you want to do this. The original reason why I wanted to do this was b/c I was tired of the games and getting attached. But then I realized, giving the gift of me is the best gift that I could give to my husband. God ordained sex, sex drives and everything that comes with it for marriage and it took me a sexual relationship to realize that He was right. I respect His plan and I respect the institution of marriage a WHOLE lot more now because of the great amount of intimacy there.

2. Make a Plan. Things don't 'just happen'. You gotta make a plan to reach that goal. For example (let me know if i'm crossing the line here), you know how in the morning, after your alarm goes off and you stay in bed for the extra five to ten min?? Well, when I do, that's when i'm weakest to those urges. So when I had a cuddling partner, things 'went down' in the morning. I got rid of my cuddle buddy and I try to get up out of bed ASAP. I also got rid of those 'friends'. You know the ones I'm talkin about? Guys who are your friends.. but not REALLY your friend?? The ones that care a lil too much, hug you a lil too long and have expressed in one way or another they feel for you but are either A. not christian B. not really your 'type' or C. Not ready to make the same committment you are.

3. Follow through. I praise God for everyday I make it through. Thank God I've been too busy to be idle. Share your story because when I first started, I was going through withdrawl. I NEEDED it!! :look: I thought: Pfft, yea right. I'm already in sin, whats one more time? and 'I cannot do this!!' But I've made my plan and im stickin to it! I'm not cuddling, I'm not making out, I'm not masturbating, I'm forming FRIENDSHIPS w/ men. Its hard. Because whenever I see a fine brother I think 'GEEZ, he'd look GREAT with me!' but

I have to remember that I'm not looking for anything because I'm not ready for marriage. And besides, that guy has got to find me. :)


Ps. Ebony Perez, I totally feel you. Its hard being fly, young, single and NOT having sex. I'm not fly but I'm the other two. You got your work cut out for you girl!!
 
You can do it Angels. Oh yes indeed you can. If I can go for 24 years you can endure your one, two or three or more. ;)

I didn't plan it this long, but it just turned out that way. I've always had 'options', but I just never 'yielded.' I'm not bragging either because it has been a challenge from time to time. A real challenge. I love men. But I love myself and God more. I wanted something more in my life.

God gave me a pormise that I would re-marry and He has never lied to me. And that's one of the reasons I'm holding on. I want to be with my husband, not a 'counterfeit' or as a precious sister here shared, "go for the 'Steak Dinner', not "McDonald's :lol:
 
I just paid my dues today and couldn't wait to join this Challenge! It has been a long time coming but Thank God it is here! I am twice-divorced mother of four, and am in the process of developing a whole new relationship with God. I have been baptized since 22 and a God-fearing, Jesus-loving Christian, but by the world's standards, not by God's standards! Do you hear me ladies? Does anyone know what I am talking about?

For the first time ever I started down the path of abstinence for the sake of God last year. I lasted about six months and then the devil got me good! I met someone and the chemistry was there. We quickly got engaged and the devil had me saying stuff like, "Well we'll be married soon anyway." He was/is addicted to sex, and because I put my trust in him and not in Him, I was deep into it too. DEEP! There are things I am trying to block out of my own mind and Praise God it is happening! After a few months with him the Holy Spirit started winning again, because I wanted It to. But it took me several more months to finally say no more no more!

I will pray for my sisters here and please keep me in your prayers as well! I now realize that the best gift for my God-given husband (not the ones I chose:look: ) is what God had intended for him in the first place. I will continue to pray for myself that I stay out of God's way!
 
I am still in the challenge, just checking in. God has really been working in my life and I keep seeking His face. Now, I have noticed a change in my boyfriend (him asking that we not kiss, touch etc., reading the bible and beginning to pray, going to church). God is able. He is truly able and works in His own time. I thank God that I have remained true to my promise to God by waiting until marriage.
 
Hi guys, I don't care about anonymity. As you can see quite original. Anyway, I pray everyday that I can withstand this challenge. I am being babtized on Sunday and am being symbollically washed clean of any sins I have participated in in the past.

I do want to remain celibate until I am married and so far it's only been one week.

Hope to get encouragement and support from you guys. Thanks again.
 
Well, I'm 17, but I've been a virgin all of life, and I really plan on it until I stay married, but I think this would be another way of staying commited. Plus I think that it's important, because of my faith in God.
 
I really want to join this challenge but I just feel as if I will have a boyfriend and I feel like I would be depriving him of something.:look:
 
chica_canella said:
I really want to join this challenge but I just feel as if I will have a boyfriend and I feel like I would be depriving him of something.:look:
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Honey, keep in mind that you owe your boyfriend nothing but kindness and friendship! Giving him your most precious possession, your body, is nothing that he has an automatic right to. But you owe the Lord everything. He gave you your life.

This boyfriend you are saving your body for may dump you tomorrow for the next thing. He may keep you and cheat on you. That's why God speaks against fornication (sex outside of marriage). He loves you and wants to protect your heart, your spirit and your body. Remember sweetie, we are in the age of AIDS, and people are dying because they didn't want to wait.

I was just thinking about a young lady in my church who was obsessed with this young man. Anyone with a little sense could see that it was a phase she was going through and told her to take it easy. She (and he) refused to listen and kept going full speed ahead. Photos at graduation, and the works!

Fast forward to today. She refuses today to even speak to him. Now she has all those pictures with him in every shot, and doesn't even want anyone to know she ever was with him. But it didn't have to be like that if she had taken it slow. Thank God she listened a little so nothing tragic happened.

When a man is ready to commit to you before the Lord and the world, it is then (after the ceremony!) that he has the right to your body. Until then, get to know yourself (first) and him, so you will see his true heart to know if he is deserving of your precious love. If you are in Jesus, you are a princess, so see yourself that way! Wait for God to bring you your prince! Much love!
 
nissi said:
Honey, keep in mind that you owe your boyfriend nothing but kindness and friendship! Giving him your most precious possession, your body, is nothing that he has an automatic right to. But you owe the Lord everything. He gave you your life.

This boyfriend you are saving your body for may dump you tomorrow for the next thing. He may keep you and cheat on you. That's why God speaks against fornication (sex outside of marriage). He loves you and wants to protect your heart, your spirit and your body. Remember sweetie, we are in the age of AIDS, and people are dying because they didn't want to wait.

I was just thinking about a young lady in my church who was obsessed with this young man. Anyone with a little sense could see that it was a phase she was going through and told her to take it easy. She (and he) refused to listen and kept going full speed ahead. Photos at graduation, and the works!

Fast forward to today. She refuses today to even speak to him. Now she has all those pictures with him in every shot, and doesn't even want anyone to know she ever was with him. But it didn't have to be like that if she had taken it slow. Thank God she listened a little so nothing tragic happened.

When a man is ready to commit to you before the Lord and the world, it is then (after the ceremony!) that he has the right to your body. Until then, get to know yourself (first) and him, so you will see his true heart to know if he is deserving of your precious love. If you are in Jesus, you are a princess, so see yourself that way! Wait for God to bring you your prince! Much love!
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Yes, you are right and I know better than this. It is just as of lately I have been doubting my beliefs in knowing about fornication. I know it is wrong but I just can't see myself in a serious relationship w/ a young man without going there. But I know I am wrong because I struggle with Jesus saying, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." And I do love God so this is one of many commmandments that I can keep.

I really just have to pray for strength.
 
Hi everyone! I am just checking in. I am nearing my 4 year anniversary of being celibate and I am SOOOO HAPPY with my decision! There have been very few rough spots and God is working on me and I love the person that I have become. God is in control of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way!

BE BLESSED!
 
Honey,
Don't worry, you have the saints praying for and with you! It may be hard to see yourself in a serious relationship with a young man without having sex, but it simply takes your mind being renewed from the world to the Word! (ETA: See Romans 12:1-2; 1 John 2)

Think of it this way. When you have a young man who will respect God's will for you where sex is concerned, you will have a young man who will respect God where you are concerned for everything else in life.

But if that young man won't listen to God when it comes to your body, why should he respect God when it comes to the rest of your life? You are setting yourself up for abuse and mistreatment, cuz he hasn't passed the sex test.

The young man who will respect you is out there, you just have to be willing to believe God and be patient for the best thing He has for you! You are worth it! God thought so, He gave His Best for you! So be encouraged!

Much love! -n

chica_canella said:
Yes, you are right and I know better than this. It is just as of lately I have been doubting my beliefs in knowing about fornication. I know it is wrong but I just can't see myself in a serious relationship w/ a young man without going there. But I know I am wrong because I struggle with Jesus saying, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." And I do love God so this is one of many commmandments that I can keep.

I really just have to pray for strength.
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I just needed to re-read through this thread and know that I can stay a virgin until marriage, no matter what the naysayers say!
 
sprungonhairboards said:
PRAY PRAY PRAY for God to strenghten you. Be honest with yourself and really examine WHY you are abstaining. God has an amazing way of helping us through when our heart is sincere. It's been since March for me, I still have the same man (who I was active with for 3yrs prior to my abstinence) and I'm not even tempted anymore. I look at everything so differently now.
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I had to come in here to see exactly how long its been. Wow a year and a week today since this post. What a coincidence. Still celibate! :yay: Almost 2 years. Dumped that man though :lachen: Thank you Jesus!
 
Looks like this thread started a while ago but I will not be fooled by the enemy into thinking that it is too late to join this challenge. This is a great thread. I have made this personal commitment a couple of months ago and it is nice to see other women doing the same. Reading some of your posts have been very encouraging...keep it going ladies!
 
brownsugababe said:
Looks like this thread started a while ago but I will not be fooled by the enemy into thinking that it is too late to join this challenge. This is a great thread. I have made this personal commitment a couple of months ago and it is nice to see other women doing the same. Reading some of your posts have been very encouraging...keep it going ladies!
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I agree with you on that. I wont let the enemy fool me into thinking its too late either....I dont even recall if I officially joined this challenge or not....LOL but at any rate,next month will mark 2 years since I've given myself to anyone in a premarital relationship and I feel empowered.

The last man I dated and gave myself to 2 years ago is the current man I am seeing now...We broke up Dec 2004 and just started spending time together as friends a couple of weeks ago. Although I love and care for this man....I have absolutely no interest in given myself to him in that way. I dont feel the way I used to in the past when I've tried to be celibate but could feel the desire churning inside of me to a point where I knew I couldnt resist. Now,although I am extremely attracted to him,it is based most on the mental and emotional rather than the physical attraction...We're having fun...He hasnt tried to "go there",we've only kissed.....eventually if we keep seeing eachother I will have to tell him about my celibacy and my beliefs. If he is truly interested in me then our friendship will continue but if he isnt worthy of a good woman,then he'll be on his way and I'm fine with that because I wouldnt have lost anything.


TeeTee2
 
Tee Tee2 said:
I agree with you on that. I wont let the enemy fool me into thinking its too late either....I dont even recall if I officially joined this challenge or not....LOL but at any rate,next month will mark 2 years since I've given myself to anyone in a premarital relationship and I feel empowered.

The last man I dated and gave myself to 2 years ago is the current man I am seeing now...We broke up Dec 2004 and just started spending time together as friends a couple of weeks ago. Although I love and care for this man....I have absolutely no interest in given myself to him in that way. I dont feel the way I used to in the past when I've tried to be celibate but could feel the desire churning inside of me to a point where I knew I couldnt resist. Now,although I am extremely attracted to him,it is based most on the mental and emotional rather than the physical attraction...We're having fun...He hasnt tried to "go there",we've only kissed.....eventually if we keep seeing eachother I will have to tell him about my celibacy and my beliefs. If he is truly interested in me then our friendship will continue but if he isnt worthy of a good woman,then he'll be on his way and I'm fine with that because I wouldnt have lost anything.


TeeTee2
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It's never too late...or too early...;)

Be strong Ladies, you can do this. Really. Don't ask how I know...but I know :yep:

You can do all things through Christ and your will which strengthens you.

Blessings...;)
 
I wish I could get some help. I been celebate for over a year and three years before that and 18 months before that and I am married. All of this is not by choice. but theres nothing I can do about the situation. My husband and I are divorcing but we still live together and we been divorcing for a year now. Yeah well he hasn't gotten the papers yet nor has he moved out the house. Its all very frustrating. You cant' imagine what its like. You just can't. Plus he sleeps nude, No I dont' see him. Not allowed to see him, he gets dressed in the bathroom. oh its a real nightmare this marriage thing. Anyway anyone know of anywhere i can go to get some help some strong advice to keep strong. I am technically going into about 7 years.
 
I am new to the boards but when I saw this Abstinence Challenge my heart leaped for joy. This is so encouraging to me please keep me in your prayers and I will pray for you as well .:)
 
I'm in! I've been celibate for almost 3 years. I find its getting easier...Year1 was a bit of a challenge:perplexed .
But i don't wanna get married anytime soon so :look:...............man, i dunno. let's just see how this goes.
 
I totally agree with waiting and I have the testimony to prove it. I was a virgin when I dated my last boyfriend. We dated for three years and never had sex. Sure times sometimes got tought but we both held on to God. I hear that sex clouds judgement. Without sex, we were able to get to know each other without the physical attachment. We had a spiritual and mental connection. We talked a lot about everything including God and his plan for our lives. We are both saved and we wanted to please God. I think it really helps if both partners are saved. He was willing to wait for me and he did the right thing and proposed. Boy was it a huge rock! I think the fact that we waited attributed to that. I really wanted a big wedding. The Lord smile upon us by keeping his covenant and he blessed us to have a HUGE wedding and we didn't owe ANYBODY after it was over!!! My wedding night was awesome. The first time that I ever made love was with my husband. The man that I married! It was so beautiful I cried! I am so happy that I waited. Now, I can tell everyone including my children (SOMEDAY) that it pays to wait for that someone special and my husband is truly someone special! Not many guys would wait over 3 years! Sure, it was difficult for him since he was experienced before he met me but he was up for the challenge. I love him with all my heart!!! Remember, nothing is impossible to him that believeth. As you go through this time of abstinence remember Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ that strenghtheneth me!
 
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i am in been on the abstinence challenge a long time waiting for the real mr right:look: ;) :) good luck every body and GOD bless every body and keep praying
 
I almost gave in to my flesh about a week ago. What I realized is that I don't actually miss sex persay, but I definitely do miss the companionship. I am glad that I didn't mess up 3 years of "sobriety".
 
Just checking in and I'm still going strong. I'll be getting married on Saturday, June 30, 2007 so I will be ending this challange soon but I just want to encourage all you ladies to stay strong and remember that we can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. :)
 
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