Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7

OK, So ladies I am still going strong with no sex (and no man :lachen:)
But question...for ladies that have had sex and decided to abstain, can you clue a sista in on how you were able to abstain after already going "there". Because this has always been my downfall...I'm fine without a man, but when I get one I fall in the sex trap. Are there any sistas who successfully accomplshed this.
Sorry if this was already addressed in this thread (I didn't read the whole thread)
 
fivefoursweetie said:
OK, So ladies I am still going strong with no sex (and no man :lachen:)
But question...for ladies that have had sex and decided to abstain, can you clue a sista in on how you were able to abstain after already going "there". Because this has always been my downfall...I'm fine without a man, but when I get one I fall in the sex trap. Are there any sistas who successfully accomplshed this.
Sorry if this was already addressed in this thread (I didn't read the whole thread)
Click to expand...

I can't help on this particular topic, so bumping for responses. Also, can I add to that, how do you prevent from doing other forbidden activities (like touching)? I have heard that you shouldn't seclude yourselves or be alone in the dark, but I can't seem to get away form that "romantic" setting! Any suggestions would be great.
 
fivefoursweetie said:
OK, So ladies I am still going strong with no sex (and no man :lachen:)
But question...for ladies that have had sex and decided to abstain, can you clue a sista in on how you were able to abstain after already going "there". Because this has always been my downfall...I'm fine without a man, but when I get one I fall in the sex trap. Are there any sistas who successfully accomplshed this.
Sorry if this was already addressed in this thread (I didn't read the whole thread)
Click to expand...

PRAY PRAY PRAY for God to strenghten you. Be honest with yourself and really examine WHY you are abstaining. God has an amazing way of helping us through when our heart is sincere. It's been since March for me, I still have the same man (who I was active with for 3yrs prior to my abstinence) and I'm not even tempted anymore. I look at everything so differently now.
 
Tee Tee2 said:
Besides it is my belief that when I meet a man and sex is introduced into the relationship before marriage,it changes a mans focus in the relationship. He gets more comfortable and settled into just being a boyfriend and a lover ,but I believe when you abstain from sex and you're dating someone,it tends to make that man focus on you more as a possible spouse. He has no choice but to look at the real woman and decide if this is someone he can commit to because sex is not there to confuse things or make the man comfortable causing him to not move forward in the relationship because he's already getting the "benefits". Dont get me wrong....I know people who have had premarital sex do still get married,ofcourse!!!! but I feel in my own experience that sex before marriage changes the path intended by God for my relationship.


TeeTee
Click to expand...

I agree. I really think this is how my ex felt. He thinks there is just no need to think about commitment, but I guess he'll regret his decision years from now.
 
Well so far so good. It's going on 11 years of abstinance (still waiting on marriage.:))

To God be the glory!!!

How is everyone else doing?
 
Hello ladies, :wave:

I have to admit that I fell off for a while, :( But I'm back now. :) Praise God for second chances. Still not married yet but I have a feeling that it will be coming soon. ;)
 
I'm doing okay ladies, but my ex is trying to get me to "say goodbye" to him even though I have moved back home. Basically the "goodbye" is just spending a few days w/ him having sex and nothing else. He is so freakin' selfish. I pray for forgiveness b/c I introduced that to him and for his deliverance.
 
19sweetie said:
I'm doing okay ladies, but my ex is trying to get me to "say goodbye" to him even though I have moved back home. Basically the "goodbye" is just spending a few days w/ him having sex and nothing else. He is so freakin' selfish. I pray for forgiveness b/c I introduced that to him and for his deliverance.
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing your experince with us. :kiss: I was in a simular situation. The only problem was we started having sex in the begining and then I wanted to stop (becuase I got closer to God), and he started trippin' BIG TIME: :angry2: I mean if he really loved me he would've understood. :( So to make a long story short, I found out who was more important in my life and who was more important to me...GOD :)
 
It looks like it's been a while since anyone has posted anything on here.

I am accepting the challenge. It's been about a month and a half, but I am going to start my challenge Jan. 1st. My goal is to go all of 2006 abstinent. I'm not going to stop there, but that is the first stepping stone. I am in a relationship with a man, that I live with, who has cheated on me. I was trying to work things out, but I feel that GOD is separating us because neither of us is on the same page. I am trying to get closer to GOD, and he is...doing his own thing.

I basically told him in a letter today that he needs to leave. We are not working out and that I wish the best for him in love and life. I don't know if he got the letter yet or not, but I expect my life to be changed drastically within the next two weeks.

It's amazing what I have read and learned in this thread. I read every last post before posting my pledge. I needed encouragement, and I got it. I feel that GOD has lead me to this place of 'hearbreak' because I am with a man I am not married to, and I am hindering my relationship with Him doing so. I am going to use this alone, 'uptime' to study the Word of GOD, get closer to Him, and help others where He needs me. I am at a place where if I never get into another relationship, it won't bother me. Marriage is for some people, not all. Only GOD can decide which group I am in. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to let Him do the picking next time, if there is one.
 
Last edited:
teressa9 said:
It looks like it's been a while since anyone has posted anything on here.

I am accepting the challenge. It's been about a month and a half, but I am going to start my challenge Jan. 1st. My goal is to go all of 2006 abstinent. I'm not going to stop there, but that is the first stepping stone. I am in a relationship with a man, that I live with, who has cheated on me. I was trying to work things out, but I feel that GOD is separating us because neither of us is on the same page. I am trying to get closer to GOD, and he is...doing his own thing.

I basically told him in a letter today that he needs to leave. We are not working out and that I wish the best for him in love and life. I don't know if he got the letter yet or not, but I expect my life to be changed drastically within the next two weeks.

It's amazing what I have read and learned in this thread. I read every last post before posting my pledge. I needed encouragement, and I got it. I feel that GOD has lead me to this place of 'hearbreak' because I am with a man I am not married to, and I am hindering my relationship with Him doing so. I am going to use this alone, 'uptime' to study the Word of GOD, get closer to Him, and help others where He needs me. I am at a place where if I never get into another relationship, it won't bother me. Marriage is for some people, not all. Only GOD can decide which group I am in. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to let Him do the picking next time, if there is one.
Click to expand...


Teressa, first of all congratulations on taking this first step. :) I am about to comlete my first year of celibacy and it has not been easy. BUT with constant prayer and reading my bible I have stayed encouraged and my view on relationships has changed dramatically. I no longer have the desire to be intimate with someone unless he is my husband. I think when you deprive yourself of an addiction you have fed for so long and let GOD handle it, you find out just how strong you really are as a person. I hope my words help and if you need any advice or scriptures please feel free to PM me or anyone of these ladies on the Christian board. I'm pretty sure they'll be more than happy to help you.
 
Okay so I kinda sorta fell off. I didn't have sex BUT I allowed my bf to touch me in ways that gets me aroused. I'm really starting to think that my bf is a bad influence. Because I keep telling him to stop and he thinks I'm joking. I need to pray hard on this one.
 
I joined this challenge but I fell off horribly. I've asked God for forgiveness and healing from my sexual addiction. I'm re-joining and pledge to not engage in sex until my wedding night, by the grace of God I will do this.
 
When this challenge was first presented I was in a relationship contemplating this but couldn't go thru with it n now the relationship is gone

I've still been doing the do though...it's been about a month since I have but I know when I am around the ex the urge will be so strong...it's so hard to truly give in to the abstinence...but I would like to join...hold myself accountable
 
Hello ladies and how are you all doing? :wave:

I'm very happy that all of you ladies are doing well with the challenge. :grin: Like some of you I fell off. So after reading these last few responses, it has encoraged me to do better. Which I have. :yay: I've met someone who has his heart set on God first and we are on the journey together. Praise God.
 
IntelligenceisBeautiful said:
I joined this challenge but I fell off horribly. I've asked God for forgiveness and healing from my sexual addiction. I'm re-joining and pledge to not engage in sex until my wedding night, by the grace of God I will do this.
Click to expand...

Girl, it was an encouragement to read this post. I'm a very blunt person, so: I love having sex. That has always been my struggle. When I was sexually active, men would tell me I was a nympho. I wouldn't classify my desires as an addiction, but it is hard to stay abstinant. I have been strong again for about 4 months.
Now I am getting scared that I am going to date some guy and possibly get married without having sex, and we aren't sexually compatible. I have been praying about it though, cause sex is a big thing for me.
Keep holding on girl, cause Lord knows I am trying to!!!
 
Yes I fell off. Beyond sad to admit it. Im actually devastated! Im just gonna think of it as one day at a time. But so far Ive made it past 45 days. I started the new year strong and will finish string. Pray for me thru Valentines day ladies. I know thats a weak pot for us ladies sometimes but with prayer nothing is impossible!
 
the temptation is killing me. it almost wants me to stay single... but if i do that.... i aint neva gonna get none. :(
 
weaveitup said:
the temptation is killing me. it almost wants me to stay single... but if i do that.... i aint neva gonna get none. :(
Click to expand...
Maybe Juanita Bynum`s dvd "NO MORE SHEETS" will help you..It can at least explain to you WHY you still feel this temptation..I know it has helped me tremendously
 
Okay...I am joining this challenge...I am even going to print out the original challenge and post it on my wall in my room....I am really serious about this.


As JR would say on debut CD "Lord help me to keep my mind because I am weak in the flesh and Im bout to wile out.":eek: That being real...and that is my prayer! Staying faaar away from guys helps me...I dont even front hug guys..only holy hugs!!:lol: A kiss is out of the question...and everything else is unimaginable. Needless to say...I am definitely not dating right now. I might not even hold my husbands hand until the altar..I have learned dont start nothing wont be nothing because everything leads to something. God has truly renewed my mind and I feel confident that I will make it to the altar without anymore mishaps... :D

I am becoming that Proverbs 31 women in all areas...this area has just taken me longer...but thank God for deliverance and thank God for sisters in Christ...its rough...even for people who truly have a heart to please God!

Question: Why dont people list this challenge with all the others in their siggy? That way when we see each other on the other boards we could PM encouragement and check in...just a thought.
 
Last edited:
I feel you guys. Its so easy to fall into sin if your not on your P's and Q's so lets women up by supporting each other and not letting Satan get the victory by having us use are natural desires to turn against the Lord's will that he intended those desires in the first place. It's been very difficult, thank god I still have my V-card but its not something easy to maintain and I have found myself in situations where I was like , "two more seconds" and I would've lost it.
I suggest that we all pray for each other and the young women of today, because look at the world we live in. Its crazy how much our precise gems depreciate their true value by having a big "for sale" sign on their sexuality. The messages of today regarding sex make it difficult for men and woman, whether Christians or not, know there roles and have a successful relationship. Sex is used as a tool of bargaining, gratification or compensation and becomes a completely selfish act, and thats not what I want or am looking forward to. Im very happy about this thread and find it important that we lift up ourselves and all the generations (as sexual immorality doesnt age discriminate) and have our leaders in the christian community speak openly and honestly about this subject, because glazing over the taboo but fact of life subject is SO not cutting it.
If the kids are virgins, make a supportive system to maintain that status, if not, help those to understand why it is wrong and to take steps to making a conscience decision to honor their body. Life is too short, messed up households and families stemming from sexual mistakes are far too prominent and we have to value our selves and more importantly, Jesus to make constructive moves in our lives.
 
I have been abstinant for about 8 months now. i would emplore each of you to go on this website www.singlespleasingthelord.com She is a powerful woman of God who has been a vessel used of God to help me manage my desire for pre-marital sex. I thought I would never be able to say this!!! She has wonderful teaching tapes and CDs that may help you!!! Be blessed.
Oh, and June in Purity Month if you didn't know!!!!!
 
I've been lurking on this thread for about a year, and I didn't want to join because I thought I'd be setting myself up for failure, but it's been such an encouragement and I've been celibate for a year now, so I thought I'd make it official. I'm trying to turn my life over to God in all areas. I've even picked up cooking and aerobics to keep me occupied :grin:. Thanks ladies. God is Love.
 
well i am so happy and grateful to see i'm not the only black woman doing this
its hard
my ex boyfriend wanted to give our relationship a second go and changed his mind once i said sex is not an option until marriage
how sad is that?!?!??! hurt my little heart.
but its okay, God is my new love!!!!
and thats okay, its hard being fly and 20 and not having sex!! LOL JK
love you all
ebony
 
I thought that I had posted in this thread a long time ago. But I consider myself a part of this challenge. I am 32 years old, have 3 sons and I have been celibate since July 4, 2004. PRAISE BE UNTO GOD! There is nothing that I can say that I have done that has made this possible. Prayer and a strong relationship with God is the only way. I keep you ladies in my prayers for strenght to endure!

Be Blessed!:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

FrazzledFraggle
Daniel Fast: Lesson 2 - A PECULIAR PEOPLE (Please join even if you are not fasting!)
Replies
2
Views
1K
FrazzledFraggle
FrazzledFraggle
Nice & Wavy
Understanding God's Plan for Man
Replies
1
Views
1K
Nice & Wavy
Nice & Wavy
Iammoney
Answering the Call to Holiness
Replies
4
Views
2K
Jynlnd13
J
sugaplum
Kissing (Spin-off: Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7 )
2
Replies
40
Views
5K
Supergirl
Supergirl
Iammoney
Holy Spirit
Replies
5
Views
2K
temfash
temfash
Back
Top