"A Woman's Worth"

[LovinLocks]

Certainly not new, but the reminders are never old. Thanks Ros for reminding me.

"A Woman's Worth"​

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

'What kind of man are you looking for?'

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'

Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."

She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself?

I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...
or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot.

She replied, "I'm worth a lot".[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[Taleah2009]

i love it! thanks for posting!

 

[Ladybelle]

I'd love to see an educated & articulate male response to her inquiry.


She has all these demands, but is she able to meet the list of demands that a man like this is qualified to bring to the table?

 

[kandake]

I love this. Its so on point. Its articulated in a way that I find difficult to relay.

This guy I'm dating asked me this exact question last night. I said most of these things but felt that I was missing the mark in explaining what I wanted. I'm going to share this with him tonight.

 

[kandake]

She has all these demands, but is she able to meet the list of demands that a man like this is qualified to bring to the table?

But these don't seem like demands, at least not to me. They are things that should be a given... for a good man.

 

[Ladybelle]

But these don't seem like demands, at least not to me. They are things that should be a given... for a good man.

so, I'll rephrase my sentiment- what would a man say that "should be a given" for a good woman? We all know these characteristics are not a given in a man- hence the woman having the desire not to have just any man. I'm honest enough to say the same would be true for the female species.

It's easy for us to say how a man should be,but how should we be?

 

[Taleah2009]

i think a woman who knows really knows her worth, would be coming to the table with these same qualities that she is requiring from her SO

 

[kandake]

so, I'll rephrase my sentiment- what would a man say that "should be a given" for a good woman? We all know these characteristics are not a given in a man- hence the woman having the desire not to have just any man. I'm honest enough to say the same would be true for the female species.

It's easy for us to say how a man should be,but how should we be?

I think that most of what was said should be reciprocal. A good woman should have all of those characteristics as well.

As for me, most of these things are indicative how I already live my life. I may never reach the point of excellency but at least I'm trying to do better than the status quo.

I will say that many women expect these things and much more from men and they don't meet the mark or even have a desire to meet the mark themselves.

 

[Ladybelle]

i think a woman who knows really knows her worth, would be coming to the table with these same qualities that she is requiring from her SO

maybe, maybe not.

I guess we can leave it at that.

 

[Ramya]

so, I'll rephrase my sentiment- what would a man say that "should be a given" for a good woman? We all know these characteristics are not a given in a man- hence the woman having the desire not to have just any man. I'm honest enough to say the same would be true for the female species.

It's easy for us to say how a man should be,but how should we be?

Women are constantly expected to lower their standards and change to suit men. Just browse the "self-help" and "relationship" sections of your local bookstore. There are tons of books on what to be, what to think, how to act, how not to act and how to find, get and keep a "good man." I think we have that covered. At some point in time there needs to be more balance and reciprocity. This woman appears to have her ish together and there is no way in hell she should expect anything less than what she has requested.

 

[Ladybelle]

Women are constantly expected to lower their standards and change to suit men. Just browse the "self-help" and "relationship" sections of your local bookstore. There are tons of books on what to be, what to think, how to act, how not to act and how to find, get and keep a "good man." I think we have that covered. At some point in time there needs to be more balance and reciprocity. This woman appears to have her ish together and there is no way in hell she should expect anything less than what she has requested.

what makes you think she has her *ish together? I read it again and I don't see anything that indicates her having her ish together other than the readers assumption that she does. There's the one brief mention of her ability to take care of herself. But being able to pay your bills does not automatically put you in the good woman category. Plenty of crazy heifers can pay their bills,lol!

I can't speak for anyone else, but I never said anything about a woman lowering her standards. My point, is that a woman should be able to at least meet the standards she puts forth.

I've seen it many of times, chicks who are broke,busted & disgusted but have the audacity to talk about they won't settle for less. I'm like chick- look in the mirror, you are less!!


I was curious to know what a good man's or the man who fits all of these qualifications response would be to this woman.... . But, from the responses I'm getting, it doesn't appear women give a damn about what he looks for in a woman, all she wants is what she wants from a man and I find that to be hypocritcial and selfish. If and I mean IF the woman who requires all of these qualifications of a man are able to in turn meet the qualifications a man of this caliber would put forth, then we don't have a problem.

you attract what you are, IMHO.

I say instead of defending this woman, check yourself. Instead of getting angry ask yourself if you could meet the same standards you put forth- if you can/could, you wouldn't have any reason to get angry.

I personally went through this list and my DH pretty much fits the bill (All glory to GOD, thank you Jesus) and instead of getting all cocky about it, I told him how grateful I am AND asked him if I would meet his qualifications of a good wife. Nothing wrong with self-reflection, is there?

If something similar was printed about what a man wants in a woman, would the response be the same? I doubt it. Women would be too busy dogging him out or defending their actions. smh...

 

[Renewed1]

Women are constantly expected to lower their standards and change to suit men. Just browse the "self-help" and "relationship" sections of your local bookstore. There are tons of books on what to be, what to think, how to act, how not to act and how to find, get and keep a "good man." I think we have that covered. At some point in time there needs to be more balance and reciprocity. This woman appears to have her ish together and there is no way in hell she should expect anything less than what she has requested.

I agree with your statement. But for the RIGHT man; what she needs/wants is not a tall order. Because that is who he is.

 

[Ramya]

what makes you think she has her *ish together? I read it again and I don't see anything that indicates her having her ish together other than the readers assumption that she does. There's the one brief mention of her ability to take care of herself. But being able to pay your bills does not automatically put you in the good woman category. Plenty of crazy heifers can pay their bills,lol!

I can't speak for anyone else, but I never said anything about a woman lowering her standards. My point, is that a woman should be able to at least meet the standards she puts forth.

I've seen it many of times, chicks who are broke,busted & disgusted but have the audacity to talk about they won't settle for less. I'm like chick- look in the mirror, you are less!!


I was curious to know what a good man's or the man who fits all of these qualifications response would be to this woman.... . But, from the responses I'm getting, it doesn't appear women give a damn about what he looks for in a woman, all she wants is what she wants from a man and I find that to be hypocritcial and selfish. If and I mean IF the woman who requires all of these qualifications of a man are able to in turn meet the qualifications a man of this caliber would put forth, then we don't have a problem.

you attract what you are, IMHO.

I say instead of defending this woman, check yourself. Instead of getting angry ask yourself if you could meet the same standards you put forth- if you can/could, you wouldn't have any reason to get angry.

I personally went through this list and my DH pretty much fits the bill (All glory to GOD, thank you Jesus) and instead of getting all cocky about it, I told him how grateful I am AND asked him if I would meet his qualifications of a good wife. Nothing wrong with self-reflection, is there?

If something similar was printed about what a man wants in a woman, would the response be the same? I doubt it. Women would be too busy dogging him out or defending their actions. smh...

The same could be said for a man that writes something like that. Does he have his stuff together? It's a circular argument however women tend to spend more time in self-reflection than men on average (can't remember the exact percentage). I'm not a man so I don't think like a man. I think like a woman and I am responding from the vantage point of "Ramya the woman." Who is angry though? You seem to be the only one miffed about this woman's words. I agree with her.

 

[awhyley]

I agree with your statement. But for the RIGHT man; what she needs/wants is not a tall order. Because that is who he is.

I still wanted to quote this.

 

[Ladybelle]

The same could be said for a man that writes something like that. Does he have his stuff together? It's a circular argument however women tend to spend more time in self-reflection than men on average (can't remember the exact percentage). I'm not a man so I don't think like a man. I think like a woman and I am responding from the vantage point of "Ramya the woman." Who is angry though? You seem to be the only one miffed about this woman's words. I agree with her.

my point was missed. that's okay though.


moving on....

 

[Eritreladiee]

Since a "man's worth" is tied to "what he can bring to the table," then I'd say that a "woman's worth" should be tied to what she can do for her man- NOT how much she can demand/receive from him erplexed. That's entitlement issues right there.

I think people should stop being delusional and start coming to the table with what they can offer. Otherwise they'll end up alone, all the while believing they're worth a whole lot.

 

[Ladybelle]

Since a "man's worth" is tied to "what he can bring to the table," then I'd say that a "woman's worth" should be tied to what she can do for her man- NOT how much she can demand/receive from him erplexed. That's entitlement issues right there.

I think people should stop being delusional and start coming to the table with what they can offer. Otherwise they'll end up alone, all the while believing they're worth a whole lot.

My point exactly!!! Thank you for putting it so clearly. ITA

 

[LovinLocks]

I'd love to see an educated & articulate male response to her inquiry.


She has all these demands, but is she able to meet the list of demands that a man like this is qualified to bring to the table?

One thing I like about the poem is how the woman (in my eyes) was respectful, sensitive, and thoughtful in her response. She even asked if he really wanted to know the answer to HIS query thereby giving him an ut if he was not ____ enough to handle her response. She did not come off as arrogant, pushy, conceited, or in a "demanding" manner. She simply stated her worth. If a woman doesn't know her worth certainly no one else will.

I suspect the "educated, articulate" man that you desire to "see answer her" would nod his head in appreciation, admiration, and respect for a sistah who "knows her worth" and has the self-esteem to put it out there.

Amen and namaste,


Lovin' Locks

 

[LovinLocks]

maybe, maybe not.

I guess we can leave it at that.

Perhaps, maybe not. The bottom line, many people (men and women; however, I am pro woman for many reasons, so I am writing to women); many women [me included] need to be reminded of their worth. We are being, have been beat down by life, simply the act of living from day-to-day. The negatives of life are always being expounded from one source or another. When I was sent the poem the other day I decided to share something positive with some sisters that may appreciate the uplifting message to remember who they are (or perhaps aspiring to be). It was sent as a gesture, a reminder to hold on, it's going to be okay, just hang in there!

To the sisters that accepted it as such, I repeat, let's just hang in there, keep our heads to the sky.

Love,

LL