A man with no plan

babyu21

babyu21

New Member
A guy I recently met just called to ask me out and he had no plan at all and that really bugs me.

First he was BSing around asking me out in the first place and I refused to help him. Dude you are 31 if you want to go out with me you have to man up and ask the question.

Second he only want to go to the movies, which I think is not a good idea for a first date.

Third we didn't pick a time when he called because he wanted to go to the barber shop first and by the time he called me the only movie time that we could make was 10:40.

As I type this I am thinking I want to call and cancel. He seems like an ok dude and he is easy on the eyes but his whole demeanor is really turning me off. So should I just cancel now and save myself some time and energy? I really can't take another dry, boring, pointless date. Hmm.... :perplexed
 
IDK. It sounds like you're not really in the mood, so you prolly won't have fun. Is there anything special about him that makes you want to get to know him better?

Personally, I never say yes to a first date on the day of and a man who cannot take the lead on dating is a deal breaker.
 
You are indeed correct Seraphina He is an aight guy nothing overly exciting about him. My friends say I don't give guys a fair chance but they have been married for over 8 years so they don't have any idea what this dating world is like now.

His best characteristic is his physical presence. The conversation isn't really great. I went ahead and cancelled because my mood isn't the best due to his lack of planning. When I cancelled he asked what I was suggesting to do instead and I told him that I suggest you enjoy your night. LMAO He was at the bar so he will be fine.
 
Yeah I agree with you. Kinda a waste of your time and pointless to date someone you reallly have zero interest in. It seemed you would be going along just because and not because you were really feeling the dude. I'm sure he will find plenty of company at the bar he is at.
 
You're in DMV. I understand. If I date around here, he has to be from somewhere else.

I love a man that plans everything. It shows he wants to impress and he's putting thought into getting to know me.
 
BeautifulFlower said:
You're in DMV. I understand. If I date around here, he has to be from somewhere else.

I love a man that plans everything. It shows he wants to impress and he's putting thought into getting to know me.
Click to expand...

Yes I am, and these men are the worst. I really think that if I continue to live in this area I will never find anyone. SIGH!!

I will likely marry the first man that actually calls me with a plan. The last time a man planned a nice date for me was probably back in college and he is married now. I don't know how I let him get away. Double sigh!! :nono:
 
babyu21 :lachen:

Not only will you marry, you'll marry the right man for you. But I totally understand. I used to defend the men of DC but they are really spoiled. Most women around here throw themselves at the men so they don't do no work. Most are lazy and boring as heck.

Its likely I will move though from here. I have been here all my life so I think I need to get a way for a little while. The men that I could marry in life live in other states. And now that I think about it, they aren't black. I've become quite the equal opportunist.
 
If I could use two words to describe the men in the DMV they would be: lazy and cheap.

Dude must get the ladies because of his looks because there is no way this bootleg, half arsed invitation would cut it. A few years ago I would have laughed in his face for the last minute lazy invite, I guess I am getting soft as I age.

My professor said men from the midwest are much more marriage minded, and she is rarely wrong.
 
I def understand OP,I would want a man who at least has something in mind at least and is man enough to say he doesn't have a clue but ask enough questions to figure it out.
 
I thought I was the ONLY person having problems here!

I do make an effort to get out, but some of these men think they are all that! Ugh!
 
BeautifulFlower said:
babyu21 :lachen:

Not only will you marry, you'll marry the right man for you. But I totally understand. I used to defend the men of DC but they are really spoiled. Most women around here throw themselves at the men so they don't do no work. Most are lazy and boring as heck.

Its likely I will move though from here. I have been here all my life so I think I need to get a way for a little while. The men that I could marry in life live in other states. And now that I think about it, they aren't black. I've become quite the equal opportunist.
Click to expand...

its not just DC it is men in general now
 
A 31 y/o wanting to go to the movies on a first date and acting all wishy washy? I understand how you feel and if it were me I probably would cancel as this would be an indication, for me, for future dates and relationship if that were to evolve.

However, if you feel the need to give it a shot you should because I guess the amount of eligible and willing men are depleting I suppose.

Is this a working your way up thing like expressed in the McDonald's thread because I find that quite insulting.
 
I cannot stand this behavior. Men get spoiled by women who have let them do this.

Men like to flip it and say "its all about you so tell me what you wanna do..." NO!! YOU are courtin' me! You tell ME where we are going and what time I need to be ready!

I had a guy who wanted me to plan the entire damn day for a date including his travel arrangements. I finally told him that I am NOT concierge & only contact me when he has a plan for an date/outing. Still aint going cause if he's lazy about a date then why bother?

Men are lazy. You shouldn't have to book the movie tickets, call in the reservations for dinner and tell HIS butt what the agenda is for a date.
 
MizzBrown OH HECK NAW!! He wanted you to do everything AND his travel arrangements. I might have lost it on that one.

I think some chicks are messing it up for the rest of us because they feel there is a shortage of black men. They are just so happy to have a man, any man, that they don't make them court them or plan dates. I am beginning to wonder if the whole dating and courting process is being lost on this generation.

For me I am feeling like its not even worth it. I need to get a hobby and a dog and just learn to be happy with that. Because if this is all the men of my generation have to offer then I will never get married or find anyone.
 
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