A Lady living with SO(baldwin hills related)

[Rapunzel*]

Okay ive been wanting to vent about this last episode ok. why does one have to ask their SO if they can go out. Its not like hes your father. If i lived with a future SO(im not going to live with someone other than my DH) i would not ask him to go anywhere. I would tell him where im going or if he had plans to go anywhere and if he said yes and it was vidal for me to stay then i would, but if its some petty stuff like him going to miss me id get my keys and bounce. hey thats me though anywho that dude kevin seems really glued onto that girl and its not because she just had a miscarriage i think because he doesnt 1. trust her 2.clingy or 3. wants her to be up under him all day maybe all three options
this is not adressed to the ladies on here living with a SO



what is your opinion about this(everyone)

 

[itismehmmkay]

I didn't see the episode, but maybe she was just stroking his ego??
I "ask" my SO stuff all the time; to get BigPappa's approval and all

 

[AnjelLuvs]

IDK... I guess to make him feel powerful, so to speak... If you go in like I can do what I want type attitude maybe he will see that as too independent for him.. IDK... just guessing here...

ME, I wouldnt, but I am single,if I had a man maybe that would change...

 

[amara11]

I'm assuming it's a mutual respect thing. I didn't see it as asking permission- more like letting him know what was going on, and making sure he was okay with it. If he was planning on bouncing with his boys for the weekend- I'm pretty sure he'd have to run that by her to make sure she was cool first.

This just seems like one of those things you deal with when shacking in general- and not just "going on vacays" with friends, but it seems when two people live together, whoever's coming and going usually let's the other know out of respect (i.e the guy hopefully doesn't just walk out at night with no explanation, and come back whenever he feels with no explanation either). I completely get that this type of communication is necessary in shacking circumstances- and it's one of many reasons I am anti-shacking. If it works for others awesome. Not for me.

 

[msdevo]

I agree its all about mutual respect.

If I am not mistaken the OP is talking about Staci. Its not like she was going out just for the night, they were planning a trip to Las Vegas. Thats something totally different.

If your living with someone and they are your main source of income, I think its only right that you ask them if its ok to go to another state, especially if its Sin City. Staci also recently suffered from a late term miscarriage, so I can see the concern that Kevin may have too.

I'm assuming it's a mutual respect thing. I didn't see it as asking permission- more like letting him know what was going on, and making sure he was okay with it. If he was planning on bouncing with his boys for the weekend- I'm pretty sure he'd have to run that by her to make sure she was cool first.

 

[sky_blu]

I was asking myself the same thing especially since his old arse is a bum (isn't the guy like 35 or something?). I would tell him that Im going but Im not asking him to go anywhere. My SO doesn't have me to go anywhere but I think its courtesy to let me know if you are going somewhere.

 

[MD_Lady]

I don't believe in grown folks asking one another for "permission" to do something. Both parties should respect one another's feelings and the boundaries (established by both people) of the relationship, but IMO, seriously asking permission is for parents and children, not adult SOs.

 

[Ramya]

I hope one wouldn't 'ask for permission' but I also hope one would discuss their plans with their SO. There is a difference.

 

[Rapunzel*]

I didn't see the episode, but maybe she was just stroking his ego??
I "ask" my SO stuff all the time; to get BigPappa's approval and all

idk i mean it seemed like she was begging him to go, and he seemed upset and wanted to know whos idea was it for it to be a all girls thing. then he was like oh i got family in Vegas too. negro pls. and hes like what if your friends do something crazy are you gonna do it too and shes like you need to trust that i wont do this and yada yada.......hes controlling erplexed

IDK... I guess to make him feel powerful, so to speak... If you go in like I can do what I want type attitude maybe he will see that as too independent for him.. IDK... just guessing here...

ME, I wouldnt, but I am single,if I had a man maybe that would change...

i wouldnt do that but you know it just seemed like she was a child and he looked like he was gonna tell her no.

I'm assuming it's a mutual respect thing. I didn't see it as asking permission- more like letting him know what was going on, and making sure he was okay with it. If he was planning on bouncing with his boys for the weekend- I'm pretty sure he'd have to run that by her to make sure she was cool first.

This just seems like one of those things you deal with when shacking in general- and not just "going on vacays" with friends, but it seems when two people live together, whoever's coming and going usually let's the other know out of respect (i.e the guy hopefully doesn't just walk out at night with no explanation, and come back whenever he feels with no explanation either). I completely get that this type of communication is necessary in shacking circumstances- and it's one of many reasons I am anti-shacking. If it works for others awesome. Not for me.

ita im anti-shacking as well.
i see what your saying but something was just off and she probably looks to him like a father and he is older than her too. he was gonna tell her no if it wasnt on camera

I agree its all about mutual respect.

If I am not mistaken the OP is talking about Staci. Its not like she was going out just for the night, they were planning a trip to Las Vegas. Thats something totally different.

If your living with someone and they are your main source of income, I think its only right that you ask them if its ok to go to another state, especially if its Sin City. Staci also recently suffered from a late term miscarriage, so I can see the concern that Kevin may have too.

i know that might be one of the reasons but it sounded like he doesnt trust her by saying what if your friends do something stupid etc. then trust was brought up i mean i see what your saying but he just wanted to be in her back pocket

I was asking myself the same thing especially since his old arse is a bum (isn't the guy like 35 or something?). I would tell him that Im going but Im not asking him to go anywhere. My SO doesn't have me to go anywhere but I think its courtesy to let me know if you are going somewhere.

yea he was 35 or so livin with momzyes and she was pleading with him and why did she need to go into its just me and the girls then he said whos idea was it for you to go out......then he said you been goin out(wow ten miles from the house)

I don't believe in grown folks asking one another for "permission" to do something. Both parties should respect one another's feelings and the boundaries (established by both people) of the relationship, but IMO, seriously asking permission is for parents and children, not adult SOs.

and i agree i could see if it was her husband but this is an SO
that dude was gonna tell her no i bet if he said no she would have stayed home lol

I hope one wouldn't 'ask for permission' but I also hope one would discuss their plans with their SO. There is a difference.

yes i could see discussing things but begging would be out of the question. i bet if dude was gonna go out she wouldnt have much fuss about it.i mean she was stuck in the house for 7 months pregnant