44 year old man, never married no kids?!

Lilakoi’s_Sister

Lilakoi’s_Sister

New Member
I just met this man that is 44 years old, never been married and has no kids. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but...Does that make you think there is something wrong with him? :perplexed

ETA: I am 32, never married, no kids.
 
It's funny because I've been kind of seeing a man who is 41, no kids and has never been married. I couldn't believe it, because I won't date a man with kids. Anyway, everytime I told someone that he's never been married and doesn't have any kids, their responses were always the same. (ie: "He's afraid of committment."). Don't listen to it. It's a lose - lose situation to me. If he's never been married then people think he's afraid of committment. If he's been divorced then people wonder why he couldn't make his marriage work. My supervisor didn't meet and marry his wife until they were both 50 years old. Not everyone meets their ideal match at the age of 40 or below.
 
Agree with above...take it on a case by case basis before making a snap judgement..he may just not have found the right woman..OR could have been in a long term relationship that didn't work out..OR..could indeed be afraid of committment....I wouldn't kill the relationship before it gets started though. Whatever the reason, it will indeed show itself..just be willing to see it. :)
 
I agree with the above

My uncle was 48 when he met and married his love. He had not been married and had no kids. They have one child now. I always thought it was so wonderful and they have a good marriage.

My first cousin is younger than both my kids.:lachen:
 
I wouldn't care...maybe he didn't find the right woman until now?
Move forward and let us know what happens :)
 
Lilakoi’s_Sister said:
I just met this man that is 44 years old, never been married and has no kids. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but...Does that make you think there is something wrong with him? :perplexed

ETA: I am 32, never married, no kids.
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Let me see if I'm understanding this correctly....you met a guy who is two years older than me, has no kids which equates to zero baby-mama drama, has never been married which equates to no ex-wife-from-Hell horror stores, AND THIS MAKES YOU LEERY? Girl, you just gave me hope! Like the others suggested, take it day-by-day and get to know him better. Could be he was waiting for the right woman (might be you) to come along. It takes some of us longer to find that special someone. Go for it.
 
I would listen and learn his life story before I passed judgment.

I know this really nice Christian guy who is still single, no kids, never married and is 45.

Problems he has had:
1. Spent a lot of time on education - didn't meet people or nurture relationships.
2. He is celibate, and sadly we live in a world where several women turned him down on that account:nono:.

The bottom line is he just hasn't found someone he feels he can marry. No commitment issues or anything.
 
Cosigning on what others said about keeping options open re. case-by-case basis. I do know a couple of men in their 40s who are not married and do not have children. Some have never been married, some married and divorced.... Some actively seeking marriage, others, more passively seeking....
 
I would take it on a case-by-case basis too, but, Imma have to keep it real. I tend to think that guys that have never been married at that age have something wrong with them. I worry that they're either afraid of commitment, on the DL, players etc.

I know there are a lot of women who are in their 30's and 40's and unmarried, but I think it is different for men. Men can pretty much get married whenever they want and there are sooooo many quality women around. It just makes me think what is wrong with this guy that no one has snapped him up.

I actually prefer a man who has been divorced because it shows that he is at least willing to make a committment to one woman, in most cases, and doesn't have some major defect that is scaring women away.

It may be unfair. It may be a double standard, but that's just my thought on it.
 
my father was not married when he met my mother, no kids either (43)
He had been engaged before...
I think for him thats just how things worked out. He was focused on his career etc.

I agree with others, this could be a good thing.
 
Lilakoi’s_Sister said:
I just met this man that is 44 years old, never been married and has no kids. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but...Does that make you think there is something wrong with him? :perplexed

ETA: I am 32, never married, no kids.
Click to expand...

One of my good friends got married at the age of 37 after 3 called off engagements. Her husband was 45 or so. Neither of them had children.

There's was such a beautiful story that they published her engagement in the newspaper....so touching that her entire wedding of 400 people (both belonged to big churches and big families) was paid for by companies who wanted to donate to their wedding and reception.

They ended up with no out of pocket expenses.

God really blessed them!

If I can get her to give me the clipping, I will post it.

I recall she told me how skeptical she was when she first met him but it turns out that he just never found the right one and wasn't willing to settle. It wasn't about commitment for him...he just didn't want to commit to a divorce.

They've been married what...4 years now and they are happy as ever. He does wedding photography professionally and is a pharmacist. She's a paralegal at law firm. :yep:
 
Ummm...As long as he has a full-time job, is intelligent, takes care of his health and doesn't live at home with his parents; you should take your time to get to know him and if it works out; thank God that you found a guy like this!
 
I'm 32 and I just cut things off with a 45 year old man (46 next month), never married, no kids. I gave it chance even though I had my questions as to why he was still single. I found him to be afraid of intimacy (openness) and emotionally immature. I can't even say we actually "dated". We kinda just hung out for 9 months (no sex or anything). He never even told me he liked me until we had been hanging out for 6 months or so....his best friend was the first to tell me :ohwell:. I like my men a bit more assertive. I cut things off because of the lack of intimacy and my feeling that maybe he just wasn't that into me. When I told him this he said he was really into me, but I made him work too hard....Negro please! You couldn't even tell me you liked me!! I did like him, though, and wish things could have been different. I'm just not that patient. I need a man that says what he means and means what he says...chop, chop! He's I great guy who wants the wife and kids in the near future and I wish him the best...:yep:
 
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caltron said:
I would take it on a case-by-case basis too, but, Imma have to keep it real. I tend to think that guys that have never been married at that age have something wrong with them. I worry that they're either afraid of commitment, on the DL, players etc.

I know there are a lot of women who are in their 30's and 40's and unmarried, but I think it is different for men. Men can pretty much get married whenever they want and there are sooooo many quality women around. It just makes me think what is wrong with this guy that no one has snapped him up.

I actually prefer a man who has been divorced because it shows that he is at least willing to make a committment to one woman, in most cases, and doesn't have some major defect that is scaring women away.

It may be unfair. It may be a double standard, but that's just my thought on it.
Click to expand...

see everything you said is what i was thinking. all of these available, quality women... but i will find out about him, see how it goes, and keep my fingers crossed. :)
 
jwhitley6 said:
I'm 32 and I just cut things off with a 45 year old man (46 next month), never married, no kids. I gave it chance even though I had my questions as to why he was still single. I found him to be afraid of intimacy (openness) and emotionally immature. I can't even say we actually "dated". We kinda just hung out for 9 months (no sex or anything). He never even told me he liked me until we had been hanging out for 6 months or so....his best friend was the first to tell me :ohwell:. I like my men a bit more assertive. I cut things off because of the lack of intimacy and my feeling that maybe he just wasn't that into me. When I told him this he said he was really into me, but I made him work too hard....Negro please! You could even tell me you liked me!! I did like him, though, and wish things could have been different. I'm just not that patient. I need a man that says what he means and means what he says...chop, chop! He's I great guy who wants the wife and kids in the near future and I wish him the best...:yep:
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i'm sorry to hear about this. i've been with this kinda guy too, all scary and stuff. don't want to "put himself out there." i'm like you. i like my man a little assertive so i had to move on too.
 
adequate said:
One of my good friends got married at the age of 37 after 3 called off engagements. Her husband was 45 or so. Neither of them had children.

There's was such a beautiful story that they published her engagement in the newspaper....so touching that her entire wedding of 400 people (both belonged to big churches and big families) was paid for by companies who wanted to donate to their wedding and reception.

They ended up with no out of pocket expenses.

God really blessed them!

If I can get her to give me the clipping, I will post it.
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing this. :)
 
dlewis said:
I agree with the above

My uncle was 48 when he met and married his love. He had not been married and had no kids. They have one child now. I always thought it was so wonderful and they have a good marriage.

My first cousin is younger than both my kids.:lachen:
Click to expand...

Dlewis, I love the picture of your grandmother. :)
 
I see nothing wrong with it at all. Be thankful!

I have a friend in the same situation. She is dating a man that is 41 and he has no kids and is not married.
 
I don't see anything wrong with it either (unless he still lives with him mum).
Lets face it some men (and women) just aren't ready to commit to a relationship until they''ve experienced a bit more out of life
 
Cocothekitten said:
I don't see anything wrong with it either (unless he still lives with him mum).
Lets face it some men (and women) just aren't ready to commit to a relationship until they''ve experienced a bit more out of life
Click to expand...

Also, some men aren't financially secure until that age - not everyone makes it big at the age of 30. They might not have wanted to marry anyone before they know they can take good care of a family...
 
I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with it. Just cause there are a lot of "good" women out there doesn't mean they were good for/to/with him. I'd take it one day at a time and look out for red flags the way I would in any relationship.
 
nikipovi said:
I see nothing wrong with it at all. Be thankful!

I have a friend in the same situation. She is dating a man that is 41 and he has no kids and is not married.
Click to expand...

That sounds perfect to me......a 40 something yr old man who never been married and no kids.I'm 37 never been married and no kids too,so we already have alot in common.I have NO desire for that lifestyle,companionship is just fine.

Alot of people are getting married and having kids for appearence sake,its like you SUPPOSE to do it or its the "NORMAL" thing to do.I won't fall into that because i serious DON'T desire it.Not knocking it but for those who desire it go for it.
 
Ballerina_Bun said:
I haven't read the entire thread, but I agree with some of what's been mentioned:

1. he may have wanted to wait until he was/ is financially secure before committing to marraige/family life.​


2. may not have found the right woman yet.​


3. if he has medical issues,smokes or ... some men getting to that age have problems with impotence. If some men can not "perform", it effects their confidence and they will not get into serious relationships or engage in self sabotage, so that they can get out of having sex.​


4. sexually confused​


5. shy :blush:​


... etc​
I would say follow your instincts/Listen to your intuition! That's always the best!
Click to expand...

Thanks. I hope he's not #3 or #4 on your list. LOL By the way, what language is that in your siggy?
 
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