3 Dates and an ****** Vacation!

Question: obviously he has access to the internet which is why he asked you to send him a message on FB. But why couldn't he write you?
 
Ugh. See, it's questions like yours that make me second guess.

He asked me if I'd write him. Obviously meaning he'd plan to read and respond. He said he would try to write me but I think it's a bit demanding on my part to expect him to email me while on vacation. When I'm on vacay in another country where my phone doesn't work and I don't have regular access to wifi, I'm not checking my email on a daily basis!

So, I did what I was asked. I wasn't even sweet. I don't want to seem disinterested like previous posters said. If he's into me, he'll make contact. If he doesn't, therein lies the answer.

This isn't supposed to be a test.


Ugh, now I'm googling birthright trips and now thinking he could be in a drunken orgy or meeting the Jew of his dreams. I'm thinking I'm just going to write it off altogether. Putting it to bed for real!

Dag nabbit, why don't Catholics and Christians get any free coed trips? Because we think premarital ex is a sin?? Such a crapshoot.
 
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LivingDol1 said:
Ugh. See, it's questions like yours that make me second guess.

He asked me if I'd write him. Obviously meaning he'd plan to read and respond. He said he would try to write me but I think it's a bit demanding on my part to expect him to email me while on vacation. When I'm on vacay in another country where my phone doesn't work and I don't have regular access to wifi, I'm not checking my email on a daily basis!
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Women tend to make excuses for men because it's what we want to believe. Being on vacation will not hinder a guy from making contact if that's what he wants to do. I'm still not seeing the difference between him being ablet o read and respond versus just writing you in the first place. But, that's just my opinion. Good luck OP :yep:
 
LivingDol1 said:
Dag nabbit, why don't Catholics and Christians get any free coed trips? Because we think premarital ex is a sin?? Such a crapshoot.
Click to expand...

Thank you!:lol: why can't Catholics go on free birthright trips too?? I'd like to go see where Jesus and Mary walked. It's just UN-fair.
 
LivingDol1 said:
Ugh. See, it's questions like yours that make me second guess.

He asked me if I'd write him. Obviously meaning he'd plan to read and respond. He said he would try to write me but I think it's a bit demanding on my part to expect him to email me while on vacation. When I'm on vacay in another country where my phone doesn't work and I don't have regular access to wifi, I'm not checking my email on a daily basis!

So, I did what I was asked. I wasn't even sweet. I don't want to seem disinterested like previous posters said. If he's into me, he'll make contact. If he doesn't, therein lies the answer.

This isn't supposed to be a test.


Ugh, now I'm googling birthright trips and now thinking he could be in a drunken orgy or meeting the Jew of his dreams. I'm thinking I'm just going to write it off altogether. Putting it to bed for real!

Dag nabbit, why don't Catholics and Christians get any free coed trips? Because we think premarital ex is a sin?? Such a crapshoot.
Click to expand...

Wait a second...just what kind of "vacation" is this?? :confused: :look: :confused:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Wait a second...just what kind of "vacation" is this?? :confused: :look: :confused:
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birthright trips are free vacations for 18-26 year olds who are full Jewish or have one Jewish parent. Basically, you go on this 10 day trip and you learn about your history, heritage, and link up with Irsaeli soldiers and form bonds with people who share your religion. there is also a lot of PARTYING. which the rabbis and group leaders encourage. A rabbi will sit you down on the trip and tell you that if you are dating a non jew, you need to go home and dump them b/c it is so important to carry on the Jew line.

i would imagine that coming back from a trip like that, you have a mega vacation high. combined with religion, who knows what.

So my fear is that he comes back and tells me he doesn't want to see me anymore b/c he wants to date and marry a jew.

I'm Catholic, and I've been on religious retreats before but they don't encourage marrying within the religion like the sneaky Jews do.

The guy I have been seeing has told me that his parents are very liberal about religion. But Judaism has way more cultural ties than any other religion.

So I want to meet other guys. I can't take him seriously, as much as I really like him. I need to cut off my feelings or project them onto someone else. I just need to keep going out and meeting guys. I refuse to let my feelings take over. Plus, I am older so... I'm looking for marriage. I can't just date for fun. I mean, I could date for fun but I don't want to. My emotions get too wrapped up. I can't separate the 2.
 
LivingDol1, aww I can somewhat relate. I find it suspiciously interesting that the Jewish guy I have gone out with a few times hasn't brought up religion. Albeit, it's early... But he knows he's Jewish and he knows I'm not, so... Shouldn't he make a comment about it?? I have no idea whether he's a liberal or conservative Jew. I question whether not talking about this topic means a lack of seriousness. Yo no se. Only talk of religion we have had is when he asked me about discipline methods at Catholic schools, after a comment I made.

I digress. My Jewish roommate has told me of te insane partying that goes on on those trips. However, I am still hoping that this guy writes you before he returns... Seems like you two had a really nice thing going, by your posts:)
 
LivingDol1 said:
A rabbi will sit you down on the trip and tell you that if you are dating a non jew, you need to go home and dump them b/c it is so important to carry on the Jew line.
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Maybe you should have mentioned this at the beginning of the thread. What the ______?
 
CarLiTa said:
LivingDol1, aww I can somewhat relate. I find it suspiciously interesting that the Jewish guy I have gone out with a few times hasn't brought up religion. Albeit, it's early... But he knows he's Jewish and he knows I'm not, so... Shouldn't he make a comment about it?? I have no idea whether he's a liberal or conservative Jew. I question whether not talking about this topic means a lack of seriousness. Yo no se. Only talk of religion we have had is when he asked me about discipline methods at Catholic schools, after a comment I made.

I digress. My Jewish roommate has told me of te insane partying that goes on on those trips. However, I am still hoping that this guy writes you before he returns... Seems like you two had a really nice thing going, by your posts:)
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Yeah, I already suspected crazy partying from the get go. That's why I've been super lax about it and when we talked about his trip, I would only say positive things about what a fun time he's going to have. I didn't want to put on any pressure about waiting to see him or something. So, while I know I have paranoia based on previously being dumped after a boyfriend went on a regular vacation, I am right to be nervous.

Talked to one of my Jewish guy friends (he's gay). He's been a group leader on birthright trips. He says that they don't try to force Jewish marriage.... He wants me to chill out. Lol.

Even if no one is serious at the start of dating, I think it's important to get certain talks out of the way. Like, if your parents will flip out if you marry outside of your religion. I mean, better to know now rather than 6 months in.

Meanwhile, I met another guy last night at this dumb mixer while out with my friend that introduced me to the guy I've been seeing. She thinks I'm a J magnet. This guy is older and a doctor. Way past the birth rite age. He asked for my number. We shall see. Gotta keep the options open.
 
MissJ said:
Maybe you should have mentioned this at the beginning of the thread. What the ______?
Click to expand...

Yeah. That actual part I only found out last night via the friend who introduced us. She asked a Jewish girl in her office what goes on during these trips (because she thought i was crazy with my concerns)and I guess on hers, they push Judaism unions. My gay Jewish guy friend says they push appreciation for the country.

Either way, I'm not optimistic. Everyone else is except me. Lol.
 
I did this on the first date with my now dh. We made out, slept in his bed, woke up early and went home. He called me a few hours later and we have been joint at the hip ever since. And no sex until we got married, but I was a virgin so it was easier not to do it.

But my point is that sometimes two people just like each other and want to spend tile together.

He didn't get one up on you, you didn't play yourself. I think it was sweet. :)

If he call or if he don't, I wouldn't feel no way about it. Religion is hard to compete with, and if he wanna marry a Jew let her give it up :). You're good in my opinion.
 
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LivingDol1 said:
birthright trips are free vacations for 18-26 year olds who are full Jewish or have one Jewish parent. Basically, you go on this 10 day trip and you learn about your history, heritage, and link up with Irsaeli soldiers and form bonds with people who share your religion. there is also a lot of PARTYING. which the rabbis and group leaders encourage. A rabbi will sit you down on the trip and tell you that if you are dating a non jew, you need to go home and dump them b/c it is so important to carry on the Jew line.

i would imagine that coming back from a trip like that, you have a mega vacation high. combined with religion, who knows what.

So my fear is that he comes back and tells me he doesn't want to see me anymore b/c he wants to date and marry a jew.

I'm Catholic, and I've been on religious retreats before but they don't encourage marrying within the religion like the sneaky Jews do.

The guy I have been seeing has told me that his parents are very liberal about religion. But Judaism has way more cultural ties than any other religion.

So I want to meet other guys. I can't take him seriously, as much as I really like him. I need to cut off my feelings or project them onto someone else. I just need to keep going out and meeting guys. I refuse to let my feelings take over. Plus, I am older so... I'm looking for marriage. I can't just date for fun. I mean, I could date for fun but I don't want to. My emotions get too wrapped up. I can't separate the 2.
Click to expand...

LivingDol1
Oh wow...Okaaaaay...I didn't know about all of this! :shocked:


Okay, NOW that you explain further, I totally understand why you're feeling a little apprehensive about his trip. :ohwell:

Well...the best thing you can do is just try to enjoy the ride and see how things go! I think you're doing great so far in giving him SPACE and letting him make up his own mind. He should know that you're interested in him, but he shouldnt' feel like you're insecure or smothering him. :nono:

So, keep up the good work, and just CHILL!!!! Whatever happens...is GONNA happen, regardless of if you worry about it or not. It's better to NOT worry and just be chill. :yep:
 
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LovelyLouboutin said:
Wait...how you not gonna tell us what he said?! Lmao
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lol!! I'm sorry... I wasn't at my computer. I was on my phone. Anyway, he said that it was the first time he had been able to check his email while on the trip. He says that the days are crazy long and the nights are even longer and that I was not the only one who thought he had a drinking problem (i was teasing him about being able to consume so much booze). Anyway, in my previous email I had bragged about my new 50" screen plasma and I teased that -maybe- he would be invited over for a movie night in the future. So he wrote back saying that he's really looking forward to movie night with m, and telling me all of the tales from his trip.

I think it will be good if the next time I see him we have some 1 on 1 time, no distractions. I want to hear all about his trip and find out if it changed him in any way.

Crystalicequeen123 said:
LivingDol1
Oh wow...Okaaaaay...I didn't know about all of this! :shocked:


Okay, NOW that you explain further, I totally understand why you're feeling a little apprehensive about his trip. :ohwell:

Well...the best thing you can do is just try to enjoy the ride and see how things go! I think you're doing great so far in giving him SPACE and letting him make up his own mind. He should know that you're interested in him, but he shouldnt' feel like you're insecure or smothering him. :nono:

So, keep up the good work, and just CHILL!!!! Whatever happens...is GONNA happen, regardless of if you worry about it or not. It's better to NOT worry and just be chill. :yep:
Click to expand...

I am trying to appear really chill about it but I'm exploding in my head(obvi). I'm nervous! I'm just very prudish about dating (the friends i've told about the overnight stay think that I have immense self control... like a chastity belt compared to, well, all of them...) and I don't feel chemistry very often... and I do my fair share of dating!! I should try to have more fun with it but I've been overanalyzing and mentally preparing myself for some kind of disappointment while at the same time trying to seem optimistic. B/c everyone is right. If it doesn't work out, he's not the one... and it has nothing to do with me because I'm amazeballs.
 
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"amazeballs" :lol: I like that.

And um, YAY! for the email, again! Sounds like he was detailed and whatnot.

LivingDol1, this is looking GOOD:yep: from my experience with long trips with someone you've just recently started dating... I'm talking about 3+ weeks apart. Hope this is a case where the absence makes the heart grow extra fond :)
 
CarLiTa said:
"amazeballs" :lol: I like that.

And um, YAY! for the email, again! Sounds like he was detailed and whatnot.

LivingDol1, this is looking GOOD:yep: from my experience with long trips with someone you've just recently started dating... I'm talking about 3+ weeks apart. Hope this is a case where the absence makes the heart grow extra fond :)
Click to expand...

Lol. I hope this looks good. I will update after he and I reconnect when he's back.... I'm not going to write him back. I don't want to wait for another reply and drive myself nuts. He will be back in 5 days.

In the meantime, I have drinks planned with a new guy on Sunday... Totally different. Doctor in his 30s. I probably have more in common with the guy I'm seeing now but hey, OPTIONS!
 
Hi ladies!

He called me tonight just now. We talked for half an hour. I asked him a bunch about his trip so we talked about that. He is seemingly still interested. Flirty on the phone and such. I was not expecting him to call so I was legit surprised!

As far as the religious stuff, he sounded immune. He said they tried to push the idea of marriage within the Jewish faith only and moving to Jerusalem... Of course he was being cute saying that he wasn't down with that or else it wouldn't bode well for us. ;)

Anyway, he wants to see me this week. I'm pushing for Sunday. He wants to try to see me tomorrow but I told him I have yoga class after work... and he's still jet lagged. He is challenging me to send him a quirky text message tomorrow. I don't know what I think about that. I don't like requests. lol. I will probably just say that "yoga is making me zen so i should have an early night, namaste. see you sunday."
 
Theo said:
Aww so cute. Lol @ the text msg... witty girls are awesome lol
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lol. i guess this is cute... see, now i am back on the fence. now that he's contacted me i'm losing the paranoia. i really need to get that checked out by a head specialist. at least i can recognize my own crazy.

i am witty and fahhhbulous but i am feeling off my game right now. he caught me off guard with the phone call. took foreeeeeever to get around to figure out when we are seeing each other again. and i suck because my schedule is kind of open this week and i didn't really do a good job of hiding that. i need to be a better liar.

he's got balls to challenge me though. balls. i called my dad about this and he said it wasn't jerk behavior so i should come up with a witty text.

hmph.
 
I don't like requests like this from guys. Why can't he just initiate a quirky text then wait for a witty response from you? I think your text will be cute and sufficient but I still wish he just would have taken the reins on that.
 
Sapphire said:
I don't like requests like this from guys. Why can't he just initiate a quirky text then wait for a witty response from you? I think your text will be cute and sufficient but I still wish he just would have taken the reins on that.
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I know. That's why I'm going to tell him Sunday would be better. Namaste. That's his punishment. Cute and quirky!
 
Ok do Sunday it is. I texted him suggesting that and movie night as the plan. Then he goes "Sunday it is. Movie night, perhaps." I ask if he has another plan in mind. He goes "only time will tell."

I do not like cryptic suspense!!! I'm a little weirded out.
 
it's all very well possible.

i talked with my dad about this and he told me that guys also have insecurities and he could be trying to protect himself with the game playing and saying funny things. he also said that i have to start asking him the 20 questions... usually i ask earlier on but i can't say why i haven't.

my other friend who works with him said that he was just trying to be flirty.

i'm calm now! oddly. must have been the yoga.
 
My dad is my best resource. Married to my mom for 33 years.

20 questions meaning.... All of those getting to know you questions. I've spent lots of time with this guy and yes, most of it spent talking and walking but I have no idea about his past dating experiences or anything like that. I wanna know his life story from age 12-25. I'm trying to further suss out if he's BF material or boy toy.
 
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