I actually can relate to this thread! I just turned 22 in February, and I have not had a REAL relationship. I date around and what not, but I've just never gotten into relationship territory. I have plenty of friends who are married and/or engaged, or in serious relationships, and sometimes I'm like WHAT THE ***!!! But I also have a couple of friends (mostly high school friends) who have also not been in a real relationship, so I don't think it's completely rare.
Personally, I think I am mostly at fault. I have had opportunity a couple of times to go into the whole girlfriend/boyfriend territory, but have just always backed away for one reason or another. I am a very individual type of female, meaning I get smothered easily and find excuses to dislike people sometimes, lol. I've turned down 2 particularly good guys in the past, because, in both cases, we were going to be stationed at different bases within the coming months (I'm in the military), so I thought it was pointless to keep dating and go on into long distance relationships. Looking back, I regret walking away from both in a way, because they were both genuinely good guys, grrrr. Then there are a couple of times where I've dated someone a couple of times, and just nitpicked things wrong.....I have stopped seeing a guy for some pretty stupid, petty reasons I don't even want to list, because I'll feel like a complete jerk! I think part of it is, by now, I feel as if since I'm 22 and I've never been anyone's girlfriend (officially), I sort of don't know how to start or where to begin, even if I want to (particularly after watching chick flicks, haha), and so I am kind of self-sabotaging myself when potential boyfriends present themselves. Does that make sense?
I am actually dating 2 guys right now, just very casually and low-key, and both of them are very nice guys, and I feel as if I am stringing them along. One flat out said he wants a relationship and asked me what I wanted, and I told him I want to be single and "be independent". >.< While it's true I like being single, I do think I kind of just answer that I want to be single by now without even thinking. Kind of like it's natural to me, so I just blurt it out. Again, I almost am my own enemy when it comes to dating sometimes. So far, dude has stuck it out.....we've gone out a couple of times, and he's certainly tried to steer us into that direction, but I'm just not going to let it happen. I already know, lol.
I have no idea why I find the idea of being a girlfriend so frightening or why I choose to keep on being single all the damn time. I vaguely am aware it is because it is unfamiliar to me, and if something is foreign I am reluctant to "try it" unless I absolutely want to, or have to. I feel like it is also partly, because I have always vehemently disliked how some people change when they get into relationships, especially some of my female friends....and I don't want to be changed. I want to be able to DO ME at all times! I swear I am Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde on this subject!
This whole thing is awful, though, because it's not like there's a shortage of menzzz near me. I am in the military! I'm surrounded by men, lol. I know plenty of bachelors who are good guys! I just....do the above!
. Just wait it out it's not worth being in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of a relationship. I know alot more women will be in our situation if they were patient and didnt jump into "relationships" with Tom, Rick, and Harry. Most women in "relationships" are in unhappy, fake ones hence the astronomical divorce rate, eternally serial dating non-committal black man epidemic, Atlanta-D.C. single black women meccas, enormous prevalence of "wifeys", "jump-offs", baby mamas, and babydaddies, MTV's Teen Mom,etc. Women who can't bare to be single for a while are willing to accept crap like "knowingly sharing a man" Plus, women like us are at an advantage because we won't have all that excessive baggage when God finally sends us our true man.
