2021 Dating & Relationship Thread

Nichex said:
I have been dating a guy for 3 months and I really like him. Everything is generally going well as we spend more time together, but he has recently made it very clear that he does not like that I have mainly male friends.
I am 31 and the shortest friendship I have at this point is 12 years, and it's been purely friendship with all of them.
Although I understand it's not the 'norm' it is my normal pretty much my entire life, so for me it would be impossible to give up the friendships I currently have. In my opinion I don't even spend much time with my friends anymore because we are in that stage of our lives were we are settling down etc. It's mostly a few group WhatsApp check ins and maybe a zoom call once a month. I have only physically seen my friends twice this year and there are no plans to change that because like I mentioned previously, we have other priorities now and all of us are more than happy to take a step back and love and support from a distance.
Although I have explained this to him he still insists that he doesn't trust the situation, even though my friendship circle is open (once things become more serious) to him whenever he wants and I am willing to put extra effort in to reassure him that they are just friends.
I am just wondering if anyone has any advice on this.
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Is he saying if you don't end these friendships he'll stop dating you? Does he have female friends? What exactly does he not trust about the friendships? :ohwell: I would not end friendships over a just dating situation. Especially if you don't have much communication in the first place. And 3 months is too short a relationship to cut people out of your life who've been there from the beginning. Red flag.
 
Nichex said:
I have been dating a guy for 3 months and I really like him. Everything is generally going well as we spend more time together, but he has recently made it very clear that he does not like that I have mainly male friends.
I am 31 and the shortest friendship I have at this point is 12 years, and it's been purely friendship with all of them.
Although I understand it's not the 'norm' it is my normal pretty much my entire life, so for me it would be impossible to give up the friendships I currently have. In my opinion I don't even spend much time with my friends anymore because we are in that stage of our lives were we are settling down etc. It's mostly a few group WhatsApp check ins and maybe a zoom call once a month. I have only physically seen my friends twice this year and there are no plans to change that because like I mentioned previously, we have other priorities now and all of us are more than happy to take a step back and love and support from a distance.
Although I have explained this to him he still insists that he doesn't trust the situation, even though my friendship circle is open (once things become more serious) to him whenever he wants and I am willing to put extra effort in to reassure him that they are just friends.
I am just wondering if anyone has any advice on this.
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What doesn't he trust? If you barely see your friends and your communication is mainly digital what is the issue? I would interrogate where this is coming from.

I have a lot of longterm platonic male friends and made it clear that is all it is. I reassured my then BF but he was similar to your guy saying he didn't trust it. I asked if he trusted me because unless I was down for cheating it wasn't going to happen. There wasn't enough reassurance in the world for him.

I wasn't willing to end 10+ year friendships over insecurity. You have to weigh what you are willing to give up for this relationship.

Good luck!
 
Nichex said:
I have been dating a guy for 3 months and I really like him. Everything is generally going well as we spend more time together, but he has recently made it very clear that he does not like that I have mainly male friends.
I am 31 and the shortest friendship I have at this point is 12 years, and it's been purely friendship with all of them.
Although I understand it's not the 'norm' it is my normal pretty much my entire life, so for me it would be impossible to give up the friendships I currently have. In my opinion I don't even spend much time with my friends anymore because we are in that stage of our lives were we are settling down etc. It's mostly a few group WhatsApp check ins and maybe a zoom call once a month. I have only physically seen my friends twice this year and there are no plans to change that because like I mentioned previously, we have other priorities now and all of us are more than happy to take a step back and love and support from a distance.
Although I have explained this to him he still insists that he doesn't trust the situation, even though my friendship circle is open (once things become more serious) to him whenever he wants and I am willing to put extra effort in to reassure him that they are just friends.
I am just wondering if anyone has any advice on this.
Click to expand...
I would break up with him.
 
An update for those who have been following along on my relationship that has now been going on for 2.5 years now. We're in the midst of renovating our home in AZ and he's sold his home here. We are keeping my home, so in 3 weeks, we will be living together for about 3 months. He plans to leave in the first quarter to oversee the bulk of the renovations and I'll travel back and forth occasionally until the construction is completed. Then we'll move the pups and me to AZ, where we will have our ceremony at home in our backyard under our gazebo of twinkling lights with our kids and close family in attendance . I want a blush pink dress. :cloud9:
 
Ayesha81 said:
I really got to pray on this one. We went on a date and it was nice. The thing is hes saying that we should to get to know each other more and to spend time together but Im just not comfortable yet going to his place for now so were talking on the phone until our next planned date for a comedy show. And the thing is he lives about 50 minutes away I would be driving to be with him on the weekend he doesnt drive that does not bother me though. He is very irritated about me not coming over and its annoying me I do like him and he seems serious like he wants us to be "us."
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Yes, pray on it. At no time during a rlshp a man should pressure you. Also, If the courting phase is when you both put your best foot forward, then it only gets worse from here. Two things: 1) it's only been one date so you don't need to make any definite or long term decisions about this dude 2) this is where dating multiple men makes sense. We wouldn't have to tell you anything because you would see any and all flags for yourself.

NaturalEnigma said:
Please listen to your intuition. I know you like him, but you don’t really know him that well to drive 50 minutes just to chill out his house. It’s too early to be visiting each other’s apartment he could be crazy, a serial killer or a rapist. From my experience guys who rush to either go to your apartment or vice versa are trying to have sex or make out . All that talk about getting to know each other better is just a way to get you into his house. There are a million other places you can go to get to know each other, it does not have to be at his apartment. The fact that he is irritated that you don’t want to come over is a red flag, as others have said if he’s not respecting your boundaries and giving you attitude about it, run! Some guys are persistent about breaking boundaries and making you feel guilty or bad about holding them. Also, I know you said it doesn’t bother you that he doesn’t drive, but trust me it’s going to be annoying when you have to drive him around for all your dates and he starts making you his personal chauffeur.
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Or make out? Lol. Nah, it's definitely just sex.
 
OneShinyface said:
An update for those who have been following along on my relationship that has now been going on for 2.5 years now. We're in the midst of renovating our home in AZ and he's sold his home here. We are keeping my home, so in 3 weeks, we will be living together for about 3 months. He plans to leave in the first quarter to oversee the bulk of the renovations and I'll travel back and forth occasionally until the construction is completed. Then we'll move the pups and me to AZ, where we will have our ceremony at home in our backyard under our gazebo of twinkling lights with our kids and close family in attendance . I want a blush pink dress. :cloud9:
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Exciting!! Congratulations on your home purchase and your upcoming nuptials. Blush Pinks sounds so divine!!:)
 
Scene: Friday night in bed, comfortable, posted up about to dig into a rom-com movie
BF comes in the bedroom, wanting to lay in bed and watch football on tv.

Me: :rolleyes: What? I just started this movie
BF: The football season is about to end, it's playoffs, and it's a live game. You can watch the movie anytime.
Me: :rolleyes::rolleyes: Chile, I guess... (pulls out laptop to search for home decor stuff while he grabs the remote)
BF (20 minutes later): *knocked out and snoring*
Me: *changes channel*
 
I miss FH right now. :cry3: I just got off a short video chat because I needed to see his face. My mom and sister thought they were exposed to COVID last week in separate incidents. My sister tested negative. I was with FH's family most of last week. I come home and start feeling sick. :( The whole house had cold-like symptoms throughout Christmas. We're all vaxxed. FH got his booster yesterday. I'm feeling much better but I'm hesitant to see him until I get a rapid test and good luck with that.

I want to spend NYE with him but I'm not counting on it. :nono:

I start a new job next week so I'm trying to get as much wedding stuff taken care of as I can before then. April will be here before we know it! :infatuated:
 
This thread was pretty light last year :lol: was it the vid keeping yall from dating or was nobody posting? I think I'm ready to get back out there this year after taking a break from my ex. Who is probably the best ex-boyfriend I've ever had :lachen:
 
sky_blu said:
This thread was pretty light last year :lol: was it the vid keeping yall from dating or was nobody posting? I think I'm ready to get back out there this year after taking a break from my ex. Who is probably the best ex-boyfriend I've ever had :lachen:
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Dating has been light for me due to the pandemic. The apps have been a wash for me and meeting folks organically has been hard.
 
OneShinyface said:
On Saturday, Jan. 15, as we were celebrating my new job with my sons, my guy presented me with a beautiful emerald-cut diamond engagement ring. It's set in platinum and surrounded by round and baguette diamonds. I LOVE it. It is so stunning!
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Awww congratulations on the engagement and the job!
 
OneShinyface said:
On Saturday, Jan. 15, as we were celebrating my new job with my sons, my guy presented me with a beautiful emerald-cut diamond engagement ring. It's set in platinum and surrounded by round and baguette diamonds. I LOVE it. It is so stunning!
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Congratulations on the engagement AND the new job!! :congrats:

I started a new job as well. 2022 is starting off nice!
 
Me and guyfriend last spoke Friday morning I was falling asleep due to fatigue and pms so I said I'm about to go back to sleep and he said ok go back to bed and we'll talk later, so when I woke up I texted him and called him he then replied his phone has issues and is freezing up. So I wait a few hours and try texting him and no answer. Now it's 2 days later Sunday night and I still haven't heard from him and I am confused. It's a very new relationship weve been talking for some weeks and made it official that same week. We haven't even done anything just a kiss on the cheek lol.
 
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Ayesha81 said:
Me and guyfriend last spoke Friday morning I was falling asleep due to fatigue and pmsing so I said I'm about to go back to sleep and he said ok go back to bed and we'll talk later, so when I woke up I texted him and called him he then replied his phone has issues and is freezing up. So I wait a few hours and try texting him and no answer. Now it's 2 days later Sunday night and I still haven't heard from him and I am confused. It's a very new relationship weve been talking for some weeks and made it official that same week. We haven't even done anything just a kiss on the cheek lol.
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Don’t let it bother you some men expect you to just push through sleepiness. He will either pop back up or open space.
 
FH and I moved in with each other last week. :love3:

We're still getting settled in, organizing our stuff but so far so good. :look: My work is 100% WFH and his is WFH for the next few weeks so we get to have all our meals together which I love.

Our Hawaii destination wedding is April 23 but we found out we have to get married before then in a separate ceremony for religious/legal reasons. :ohwell: We're finalizing the day and time but looks like early April.

Now I need to vent: I've had it with FH's mom. I'm over her antics. :angry2: She's getting on FH and his sister's nerves too. It's been great spending time with FH's sister and her SO lately because they are going through the same thing. They actually have it worse because they live with her. :nono: Luckily FH and his sister are taking the lead on dealing with her. I'm so done.
 
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