2013 - Christian Random Thoughts Thread

I so glad to have had the chance to walk with God so long that I can now embrace change. I sense a major change in my life and there is a quite confidence that God is right in the middle of it. As one assignment comes to an end, a new one will begin. I will be used by God and he will give me the desires of my heart.

I am truly blessed right now in this moment and I haven't even seen the end results yet, don't need to either. I can just sense it is going to be good....... Thank you Lord in advance.
 
Psalms 51

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me
 
I feel that tightness in my chest. It's anxiety. I know your Word says Lord not to be anixous about anything. I will pray and focus on the word. I feel utter devasted looking at my current situtation. But God. I will meditate on your word and on the teachings from my pastor. I will not go back to the darkness called Egypt.
 
Thank you Lord. When I feel down and out you send the body to uplift me. I am renewed by the body of Christ and just renewing of my mind from your Word.Just looking at the cross gives me a bit more drive to keep going.
 
Dear Lord, please have my soon to be ex-manager give me my severance contract. Please let him sign it and deliver it to the person that is suppose to process it. I pray there are no issues or any more delays from any parties involved.

In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
 
Ain't it? Lord have mercy.....

Glad you was able to hear the whole thing....:yep: God bless~


It's long but it worth it to listen...I think sometimes we think that we have it all together (this walk), but the word says He searches the heart and tries the reins He knows the darkness and dirt in there that needs to be cleaned out. I've asked Him to show me as He did Pastor John. A part of me is frightened of what He will reveal because I'll see it as He does but I so want to walk upright before him, nothing else matters.

Sorry for rambling but his testimony so moved me to search myself...
 
sweetvi

http://www.examiner.com/article/tim-tebow-cancels-dallas-church-speaking-engagement

Tim Tebow cancels Dallas church speaking engagement
Tim TebowFebruary 22, 2013
By: Marie Anne St. JeanSubscribe

Since cancelling his speaking engagement with the First Baptist Church of Dallas that was scheduled for April, New York Jets Quarterback Tim Tebow has tongues wagging again, both in support of his decision, and those who think it’s a copout and that he’s bowing to pressure. Speaking out on Twitter, Tebow had this to say about the cancellation in a series of tweets on Thursday, Feb. 21:

“While I was looking forward to sharing a message of hope and Christ's unconditional love with the faithful members of the historic First Baptist Church of Dallas in April, due to new information that has been brought to my attention, I have decided to cancel my upcoming appearance. I will continue to use the platform God has blessed me with to bring Faith, Hope and Love to all those needing a brighter day. Thank you for all of your love and support. God Bless!

Never giving a true reason for his decision to back out of his appearance in Dallas, it’s speculated that some of the bad press received by Pastor Robert Jeffress after comments about same-sex marriage could be a factor, and that Tebow doesn’t want his name hitched to that wagon.

First Baptist Church of Dallas has a large local congregation with an even bigger following through online media resources, and is noted for bringing in celebrated speakers and musicians. Tebow’s personal testimony would have joined the ranks of Christian author and psychiatrist Dr. James Dobson, author and televangelist Dr. David Jeremiah, and Christian recording artist Phil Wickham, all scheduled to appear in Dallas in April, 2013.

Although a public figure, shouldn’t Tebow be allowed to decide where he will and will not appear? The choices he makes should be between him and God.
 
Dear Lord, please have my soon to be ex-manager give me my severance contract. Please let him sign it and deliver it to the person that is suppose to process it. I pray there are no issues or any more delays from any parties involved.

In Jesus name I pray. Amen.


I don't know who prayed. (Thanks) But I got it and signed it....now please Lord let them process it without any issues.

Amen.
 
So much is coming out about me that I want to cry. For the longest time I wondered why some people have peace and people like me don't. I wondered how some people are really transformed and seem to have this coolness about them even though they have gone through alot of negative things.

I have really been reading alot of things lately all biblical focused. I believed that I was a unbeliever but actually it's more of doubt in regards to God. It still produces a harden heart and mind which makes it difficult for any type of healing or rest to occur. I have been running on fumes for too long and it's starting to show. I'm always tired and I never have rest. I feel like I'm being driven to the point I can't stop on my own. Like a virus that just duplicates non stop.

I wondered for a long time how others seem to walk freely in love and aren't bound to this never ending ever pressing search for comfort. What I have been searching for will never be found in man but God alone. My doubts are human nature and I will have to stay ever aware of it. I never feel God can't do something but it's if. This desire to be something more and to not be looked down upon is so horrid. I don't feel comfy receiving love but desire it. I don't feel comfy asking to be near anyone so I suffer. I want to just stop but I can't. I stayed home today unable to move or function. I don't like that as I feel I could lose my job which would put my already high anxiety on edge.

I feel right now I'm on the edge either to be pushed off or pulled back. The more I uncover about God the more I'm like what's wrong with me? My anxiety which is a direct no no with God is a strong hold I want to be released from. It makes it hard to breathe,sleep,and work to efficiency. I find it's a stumbling block in the way of me being seen as a great catch romantically,being able to start my freelance business, and pursue better employment opportunities and even doing more for my church.

I also was pondering the thought that I am failure. Doubt comes esp hard when things fail to go the way I desire them. I never see it as God failed but I failed. That could be partially a control issue but also a issue that I feel I was undeserving and didn't do enough. But I know that is irrational because no one honestly deserves anything because we are all ratchet sinners. It's a hard pill to swallow that maybe just maybe it wasn't in God's plan for me to be well off or be fit or to be many things I have pursued. I think part of my pursuit was I found comfort in these things the idea of being the great attractive black woman a far opposite of what I am today and growing up. I want to eliminate all that I was growing up and put on something better.

Ok this is enough for now some might think something is wrong with me but these are the thoughts of a Christian mind.
 
Lord You have always been my source of strength and peace
Right now I'm stressed and I can see it in my behavior and my worry
but I need to remember it's either I pray or worry
I can't do both
so I choose to pray AND trust you
I need some R & R
sometimes I do too much and forget to replenish
no good
 
I want to done with the chains of bondage. Now knowing what they are I want to be free. I want to not give into things that aren't holy. I want to be great for God and God alone. Freedom Lord is what I desire. But I know I must trust you and you alone.
 
Go get this book. It will be just what you need to get your day together.
images
 
I want to done with the chains of bondage. Now knowing what they are I want to be free. I want to not give into things that aren't holy. I want to be great for God and God alone. Freedom Lord is what I desire. But I know I must trust you and you alone.

I so can identify with you . I can't tell you what to do, but for me it took recognizing the fact that I was the problem. It wasn't my past, it wasn't my trials and tests, it wasn't other people's cause and effect. It was me. A Christian friend of mine would get so fed up talking to me because she could see that I was a saved unbeliever. She agreed that I knew the Word, but I didn't believe it. I wanted to. I desired to, but I had doubt. I questioned everything and molded it to me personally as if I was somehow exempt from the Holy Bible. She would always tell me that I was making up my own Gospel according to the experiences, life and knowledge of HeChangedMyName and I thought she was just a big meanie. lol It hurt because it felt like my faith was being questioned. She was trying to correct me. Hurt feelings are gone and I'm grateful to her for being honest. No one else did and no one else would have.

Turns out she was right. One day I accepted it because the Lord told me the same thing.

This is how it would play out. I'd have an issue and I would think that the Lord said one thing to me and it was STRONG. So strong that it had to be God. . .right? The thing was never negative or bad, but it was also never the best thing, the righteous thing. well, then the second voice would come in with the righteous thing but I thought that was me, trying to overpower God. I thought it was my goody two shoes self conscious trying to get me to trump God. So basically I had mixed up God's voice with my own and I was doing opposite for years.

I started to pray and study and research and study the Word for ways that I could know for sure God's voice, versus mine. I blamed a lot on the devil. I had him pegged for hemming me up. When all along it was me.

Once I could hear God, His voice becomes more and more clear and I realize that what I was hearing before was just my "good" self. I never tried to do anything bad, I just did things half arse(scuse my french, but thats what it was) I was a lazy Christian. I wanted to get in by my own means and on my own.

God told me that he doesn't need my help and he says, he doesn't need yours either GoddessMaker. You are trying to fix you and its not in your power. You have to release the responsibility of undoing a lifetime. Only God can do that, and he can do it in an instant.

There will be some things you will have to do out of shear obedience. It wont feel good, your pride will get hurt, you may even look like a fool, but you HAVE to follow God's Word to the T. What I'm hearing the spirit say to you is FORGIVE. Forgive whomever for whatever from whenever it happened and for how long ever. you have to forgive. it is not just a notion. It is an action. write it down. everything that you haven't forgiven and say out loud that you forgive, ask God to help you forgive and take it away from you. Forgiving is not forgetting. its releasing the other party(ies) from the imaginary ability to undo the past. Let it go.

You are binding your own self up sis. You have to let go. pm me, we can talk, I will pray with you, for you, stand in the gap for you when your arms are tired. I will cry for you when you have no more tears. I will go to the Lord dragging you by the arm if that is what it takes. But you have to get out of your own way and let God move.

It was God who told me to start tearing down my idols and honey! life has changed tremendously. I am still tearing down idols and I feel "normal" now. I feel like those other people who I wondered how they functioned.

I've had a lot in life. It was a hard hand. molestation, poverty, neglect, terrible relationships with men, crime, etc. I mean I've been through it all either directly or witnessed it first hand with someone close to me.
 
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HeChangedMyName... I almost jumped up and shouted right here at my desk at work. That was straight from the throne of God.... Everything you wrote was meant for me.
To God be the Glory because as I was typing I was like :nono: TMI TMI TMI stop stop stop. but I couldn't. God has blessed us both.

prime example and confirmation. lol that is how it use to work except I would listen to my voice telling me to stop. lol God. Is. Up. To Something!
 
I feel everyone else including my abuser can be saved and fixed. But me I just don't know. I know by thinking that way it's contrary to God's word which states all things are possible through Christ Jesus. My attitude about my life and having peace and comfort is so indifferent. I'm trucking along but I lack motivation for me. I don't want to do anything for me I just don't. I think I clean up and try to look decent not for me but for others not to be alarmed.

I was reading my Jesus Calling devotional this morning and want to guess what it was about? It was about judging not only the world but self. That it's not your job to judge. I'm hyper critical of self it's ridic. Seeing how much damage has been done makes me not even want to try. I wanted to throw that book away this morning but I was in a meeting. I just want to cry and I feel like there some pressure on me right now but no tears will come. I will not speak defeat as their is power of life and death in the tongue.
 
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Please call your doctor...you need psychological help and your primary physician can refer you. I'd tell him exactly what you are telling us here. Sometimes, problems are much bigger than ourselves and we need to be humble enough to tell another that we cannot handle it alone. Help is there for you but you must take the first steps to go get it. No one wants to see you threaten to harm yourself because we do care, sincerely.
 
Dr already knows about my stuff. I think this time it really is a battle of the spirit and not physical. It's control for me. If I can't handle then no one can help. I guess God is nudging me to give up control. I'm mad that I can't solve my own issues fast enough. It's embarassing to have debt,to be overweight,to have a past,to not be married or have ideal. I guess that's why it's hard for me to even ask for someone to pray for me. If I can't do it why would I bother someone else. Death is my own power play that I can't do anymore. Time to really dig and let go all at the same time.
 
Dr already knows about my stuff. I think this time it really is a battle of the spirit and not physical. It's control for me. If I can't handle then no one can help. I guess God is nudging me to give up control. I'm mad that I can't solve my own issues fast enough. It's embarassing to have debt,to be overweight,to have a past,to not be married or have ideal. I guess that's why it's hard for me to even ask for someone to pray for me. If I can't do it why would I bother someone else. Death is my own power play that I can't do anymore. Time to really dig and let go all at the same time.

control can be in Idol too. Tear it down. Brick by brick. don't sacrifice yourself to it. as a matter of fact I'm feeling a little bit bold. in the name of Jesus I'm over here binding up some things for you. now they won't go away until you actually let go.
 
Dr already knows about my stuff. I think this time it really is a battle of the spirit and not physical. It's control for me. If I can't handle then no one can help. I guess God is nudging me to give up control. I'm mad that I can't solve my own issues fast enough. It's embarassing to have debt,to be overweight,to have a past,to not be married or have ideal. I guess that's why it's hard for me to even ask for someone to pray for me. If I can't do it why would I bother someone else. Death is my own power play that I can't do anymore. Time to really dig and let go all at the same time.

Spiritual with emotional and physical...totally possible and probable. But that's when you need the expert help of your psychologist/psychiatrist or whoever's care you are under. You're having a crisis so don't be embarrassed to call and get immediate care and help. This is very serious, Goddessmaker. Seek help. Christ also provides others to help you...and that might come in the form of a doctor/counselor or other help. Yes, do seek the spiritual remedy but you know it's beyond just that. Be honest with yourself and not ashamed. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
 
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