MIXED IDENTITY MIX-UP

[WorkInProgress88]

I'm only APL and I get that often. Fellow Nigerians won't believe me when I say I'm 100% Nigerian (as in, the first one in my family born here) until they see both of my parents o.o

I think the wildest one I got was when someone asked "Which tribe are you from?"

...

As in Native American tribe.

.i absolutely love you for posting that, the same exact thing happens to me OR i get "well you're 100% Nigerian, y'all naturally have thick long hair....blah, blah...juices and berries....blah"

 

[that_1_grrrl]

LMAO. My mom, having been married to a Cuban for 8 years asked a Dominican man in the library something in Spanish. He got all excited and asked where she was from. My mom lied and said her parents from Cuba. When she told him she was joking, he said, "Oh, you should tell people you are Cuban, not Black."

But I must admit, I'm jealous. I wish someone could tell I was Cuban. If I have to field the question, "Isn't Hernandez a Mexican name?" one more time...

I'm Dominican and get asked if I'm African American, Cape Verdean, Cuban, Puerto Rican (that one I actually have), Brazilian, or mixed. I say yes to them all! Its an annoying question so I just pretend I'm from that country and say "yeah I'm ____" LMAO - well if they're strangers anyway. I've had people yell at me when I say I'm Dominican LOL one man yelled at me in Portuguese, then told me in English that he hates Cape Verdean women like me that pretend to be American! I cursed him out. One woman asked me if I was Cuban, I said no, she started to raise her voice and call me a liar because she could recognize my Cuban accent. Ummm sure, crazy lady.

I have people come up to me on the street and talk Spanish to me. I usually get annoyed and ask myself, what if I DIDN'T speak Spanish? Not sure why I get annoyed tho, I actually do speak the language. I like to be incognito LOL jk

 

[NessaNessa]

Not again.......

 

[snillohsss]

I only get it when my hair is curly...and my hair isn't that long.

 

[BARCA]

I am mixed but I don't get asked a lot. My hair isn't really that long, and I look completely black (at least I think so). So much to the point that when I say "I'm half Mexican" people will argue with me LOL. My mom is Afro Cuban, but I don't feel like explaining what that means to some people who think every Latina looks like JLo. Also, the health or length of my hair was always a direct reflection of how it was taken care of, not ethnicity.

 

[1QTPie]

Not because of length. People assume (at times) that I am of a different race or bi-racial because I have hair similar to theirs, that's the only reason. I keep having to tell them that Dominicanas came from Africa too. We have the same roots. (Literally) Meaning, you are as black as me.

 

[BostonMaria]

LMAO. My mom, having been married to a Cuban for 8 years asked a Dominican man in the library something in Spanish. He got all excited and asked where she was from. My mom lied and said her parents from Cuba. When she told him she was joking, he said, "Oh, you should tell people you are Cuban, not Black."

But I must admit, I'm jealous. I wish someone could tell I was Cuban. If I have to field the question, "Isn't Hernandez a Mexican name?" one more time...

About 99.9% of the time I can look at a Hispanic and get their country of origin right. I was wrong once when I saw an Albino Asian looking man only to find out he was Puerto Rican! LOL Who knew?! I am very Americanized and I hate translating so for people to think I'm AA is convenient cuz then nobody bothers me

Oh and most people don't understand that Jennifer Lopez and Selena are just one look of a Latina. We come in black and blacker too.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I can too. There are people who break the mold, but usually, it's easy to tell if someone is Cuban, Puerto Rican, Mexican, Dominican, etc.

Lol, exactly. Another thing they don't realize is both Ms. Lopez and Ms. Quintanilla more than likely have Black ancestors. I am convinced Selena does.

About 99.9% of the time I can look at a Hispanic and get their country of origin right. I was wrong once when I saw an Albino Asian looking man only to find out he was Puerto Rican! LOL Who knew?! I am very Americanized and I hate translating so for people to think I'm AA is convenient cuz then nobody bothers me

Oh and most people don't understand that Jennifer Lopez and Selena are just one look of a Latina. We come in black and blacker too.

 

[exubah]

I have gotten the mix with Chinese, Dominican, Indian and others questions....and the funny thing was that most of these were when my hair was shorter. I understood the Chinese one because when I when younger I wore my hair in a pony so tight so often that my eyes took on a serious slant and my face is naturally a little flat so when the little girl at the bus stop asked the question I could not be mad at her....anyhoo my hair in its relaxed state when it was shorter also use to do some weird beautiful things that made it look like a wig so I guess I could understand those weave checks and stoopid statements/questions I use to get during those times as well.

Funny thing is that when my mom (5' 9"), whose had long hair all of her life, was at work with her relaxed waist length hair in box plaits when someone bet her $200 it was not her real hair....easiest money she ever made!!! Foreigners (she is in immigration so she meets them everyday all day) use to ask her which one of her parents was of a different race all the time. It would be so hilarious if they ever met them because my grandmother is as dark as they come (but she has mostly type 3 hair) and my grandfather is of medium complexion (but he has high cheekbones and a very sharp nose).

It's amazing how we stereotype and perceive other races and then project those perceptions in our everyday lives and interactions with others. I think everyone does it subconsciously....we are more often than not the product of our environment and upbringing.

 

[bumblb87]

I get asked where I'm from a lot....... and I don't ever know what they mean..... may have something to do with how I talk more than looks.... I dont think I have an accent (besides a southern one lol) at Auto Zone a man thought I was from the islands.... and some random person wrote me on facebook to say I didnt look like I was from America...... ummm ok......

 

[Rei]

*laughs* I don't think anyone has ever mistaken me for mixed. My hair has always been short (SL), but even if my hair was *** length, my features are as african as they come. I do often get the "What part of africa do you come from" a lot though. Dx goddamnit I'm 100% Jamaican-American! Heck of I know where greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgrandmother/father came over there from!

 

[hairsothick]

Soooooo, which one of you started that thread on LSA?

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Only in NYC. And the weird thing I've been all over, even Germany as my dad was in the army. While at school in NYC I've been asked by tons of Indian (from India not native american) men all over the city what part of India am I from. And I say No, and they INSIST, like what about my grandparents? I'm like my grand parents are not Indian from India. They're like no? You're can't be all black (now there is a definite mixture in my background but to me I feel like most black people are mixed in the u.s). Oh! Wait I did have an odd conversation with a coworker who was West Indian (which I'm still like you're black but whatever) she was like. "We" have to stick together. And I was like...okay? She was talking about how the boss was prejudiced. And I was like that's sad if it's true (I just started working there). So I was like yes being black American can be frustrating sometimes when it comes to prejudice. She was like "DON'T say THAT". I was like "what?" She was like "You're NOT BLACK. Don't SAY that." I was like "I am", she was like "NO you're NOT. We are not BLACK. We're not like them. Don't say you're black honey." Then she heard my incredulous "YES I AM!" And with that you saw the realization in her eyes and then she shut up.

 

[complexsimplicity]

Only in NYC. And the weird thing I've been all over, even Germany as my dad was in the army. While at school in NYC I've been asked by tons of Indian (from India not native american) men all over the city what part of India am I from. And I say No, and they INSIST, like what about my grandparents? I'm like my grand parents are not Indian from India. They're like no? You're can't be all black (now there is a definite mixture in my background but to me I feel like most black people are mixed in the u.s). Oh! Wait I did have an odd conversation with a coworker who was West Indian (which I'm still like you're black but whatever) she was like. "We" have to stick together. And I was like...okay? She was talking about how the boss was prejudiced. And I was like that's sad if it's true (I just started working there). So I was like yes being black American can be frustrating sometimes when it comes to prejudice. She was like "DON'T say THAT". I was like "what?" She was like "You're NOT BLACK. Don't SAY that." I was like "I am", she was like "NO you're NOT. We are not BLACK. We're not like them. Don't say you're black honey." Then she heard my incredulous "YES I AM!" And with that you saw the realization in her eyes and then she shut up.

She really didn't want you to be black. Like it's disgusting or smthg.

 

[aquajoyice]

I get the whole "indian" correlation ALOT! It has gotten so old. I mean get real. I try to be nice about it. I even once had a girl asked me if I was mixed. I said "yea, with n***a and black". erplexed (Sorry if I offended anyone.)

That's a Good ond! I might have to use that LOL! It's amazing how the mood of Black women has changed to being more satirical as a means to lighten the mood of topics likes this. Speaking for myself I know that i'm soo tired of educating the ignorant that I have to make fun of it. We live in the year 2009 and people still don't get it. And American culture is inundated with the "Black Experiance". How is it they we still get asked the question "Whatchu mixed wit... you got sum long hurr?"

 

[Rei]

Only in NYC. And the weird thing I've been all over, even Germany as my dad was in the army. While at school in NYC I've been asked by tons of Indian (from India not native american) men all over the city what part of India am I from. And I say No, and they INSIST, like what about my grandparents? I'm like my grand parents are not Indian from India. They're like no? You're can't be all black (now there is a definite mixture in my background but to me I feel like most black people are mixed in the u.s). Oh! Wait I did have an odd conversation with a coworker who was West Indian (which I'm still like you're black but whatever) she was like. "We" have to stick together. And I was like...okay? She was talking about how the boss was prejudiced. And I was like that's sad if it's true (I just started working there). So I was like yes being black American can be frustrating sometimes when it comes to prejudice. She was like "DON'T say THAT". I was like "what?" She was like "You're NOT BLACK. Don't SAY that." I was like "I am", she was like "NO you're NOT. We are not BLACK. We're not like them. Don't say you're black honey." Then she heard my incredulous "YES I AM!" And with that you saw the realization in her eyes and then she shut up.

ooh damn that girl has issues. self hatred out the wazoo... she needs to see a therapist

 

[onejamifan]

When my hair is out and straight, I get Indian f(from India), ALOT. When in college one of my BFF's was Indian, so people just assumed that I was too.

 

[Nightingale]

I get this a lot. People assume that I'm mixed, a foreigner (usally some island), or both.

The funniest moment was when a man asked me if I was a "Dominican Republican". I just laughed.

 

[shocol]

Only in NYC. And the weird thing I've been all over, even Germany as my dad was in the army. While at school in NYC I've been asked by tons of Indian (from India not native american) men all over the city what part of India am I from. And I say No, and they INSIST, like what about my grandparents? I'm like my grand parents are not Indian from India. They're like no? You're can't be all black (now there is a definite mixture in my background but to me I feel like most black people are mixed in the u.s). Oh! Wait I did have an odd conversation with a coworker who was West Indian (which I'm still like you're black but whatever) she was like. "We" have to stick together. And I was like...okay? She was talking about how the boss was prejudiced. And I was like that's sad if it's true (I just started working there). So I was like yes being black American can be frustrating sometimes when it comes to prejudice. She was like "DON'T say THAT". I was like "what?" She was like "You're NOT BLACK. Don't SAY that." I was like "I am", she was like "NO you're NOT. We are not BLACK. We're not like them. Don't say you're black honey." Then she heard my incredulous "YES I AM!" And with that you saw the realization in her eyes and then she shut up.

Don't be too hard on them. If you ever saw pictures of dark, darker Indian women (not the ones promoted in Indian media), some of them (a lot) look just like black women except for maybe the hair texture and even then some of us share that also. I believe that India was originally part of the African continent and the darker inhabitants were called Dravidians, but I'm not up on my history. Maybe someone else will chime in.

 

[peony]

No one has ever thought I was biracial (even though my adoptive father is white. He's Jewish with very curly hair. More people think he is black than think I'm mixed, lol.) But many Ethiopians have mistaken me for Ethiopian. I asked a group of Ethiopian students I was in graduate school with, "Why am I mistaken for Ethiopian? I don't think I look like any Ethiopians I see." They hemmed and hawed for a while and finally one man said "Well, you look Oromo." I learned that the Oromia are a lower status group in Ethiopia than Amhara or Tigre, and that was the hesitation in telling me. My response was, I'm very proud to be African American, which has been among the lowest status groups in the United States for all of its history, so I would never take offense at something like that.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

She really didn't want you to be black. Like it's disgusting or smthg.

Exactly. That's how I felt about the situation with her.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Don't be too hard on them. If you ever saw pictures of dark, darker Indian women (not the ones promoted in Indian media), some of them (a lot) look just like black women except for maybe the hair texture and even then some of us share that also. I believe that India was originally part of the African continent and the darker inhabitants were called Dravidians, but I'm not up on my history. Maybe someone else will chime in.

Interesting(about India). Maybe someone will chime in. I never get annoyed with them. I know they come in all shades too. The West Indian lady is the one who got me. The others are friendly but insistant. I know why they may think that. I have almond shaped eyes that are very exotic looking. It's the comment I always get (someone comments on my eyes) because they jump out at you. My grandmother is 100 percent cherokee but we're talking native american Indian not from India. I noticed both Indian from India and Native Americans have that almond eye (I know there are exceptions but it seems quite common). And with my brown skin (as India Indians come in all colors from lighter to really dark)...maybe there's some confusion. Who knows?

 

[exoticmommie]

I have been mistaken for being biracial or people will swear I am Jamaican, a mixed Jamaican that is. Both my great grandfathers on my mom and dads side are Native American. But I will never ever admit this to others. I feel that has to do with my grandparents, not me. I just tell them no I am not biracial. And neither are my parents. And I end the conversation. I only hate it when non-black people try and ask me this, as if there is something different about me, and it just HAS to be because I not fully black. Or they try and ask me where I am from, because I don't look like I am from here. I personally find it insulting. What are you trying to prove?

Ever notice how when a black actress becomes famous or is deemed pretty. Well she most likely is mixed, ROLLING EYES.

 

[onejamifan]

I don't understand why someone would assume anyone is Jamaican, Dominican, Puerto Rican etc. just by the way they look. I mean, those are nationalities, not ethnic groups. In the end, they too have African ancenstry, so the only difference is the place of birth and cultural background. Neither one affects the way they look or the texture of their hair. I do understand that there is plenty of racial mixing in the islands, but to assume that anyone that looks like they have a trace of non-black blood in them is not black, totally escapes me...

Just a thought...

 

[BostonMaria]

I don't understand why someone would assume anyone is Jamaican, Dominican, Puerto Rican etc. just by the way they look. I mean, those are nationalities, not ethnic groups. In the end, they too have African ancenstry, so the only difference is the place of birth and cultural background. Neither one affects the way they look or the texture of their hair. I do understand that there is plenty of racial mixing in the islands, but to assume that anyone that looks like they have a trace of non-black blood in them is not black, totally escapes me...

Just a thought...

I have nothing to add, just wanted to say you have some perdy hair!

 

[exoticmommie]

I don't understand why someone would assume anyone is Jamaican, Dominican, Puerto Rican etc. just by the way they look. I mean, those are nationalities, not ethnic groups. In the end, they too have African ancenstry, so the only difference is the place of birth and cultural background. Neither one affects the way they look or the texture of their hair. I do understand that there is plenty of racial mixing in the islands, but to assume that anyone that looks like they have a trace of non-black blood in them is not black, totally escapes me...

Just a thought...

ITA, and yes you have beautiful hair, just stalked your fotki.

 

[Ms Kain]

I think it's rude! I went to the Dominicans with my sister and they kept speaking to me in spanish until finally I told the lady that I am as black as they come. She said sorry. I look black, I think this site is gonna help to change the way black women and their hair are viewed.

Actually to mistake an AA woman for being from the Dominican Republic(a) or any other island isn't really a far leap. After all, when they snatched us from Africa they spread us all over the place so Dominicans are mixed with African blood too and that's why there's just as many chocolate deluxes as there are butter pecans!

I'm willing to bet that they probably assumed that you were Dominican just because they are still used to seeing only dominican women at their hair salons. But then again they may have also saw your hair and thought that it was so pretty that you had to be dominican!! It may sound insulting but let's face it, how many of us have seen bw with hair that looked a hot mess? If we've seen them then chances are they've probably seen those same women too!

I've met so many good dominican people (and they are so closely related to us) that whenever someone mistakes me for a Dominican I'm just as flattered as I would be if they got it right!

Also, as a side note, when I see us taking care of our hair and proving them wrong, I can't help but gloat inside. With every healthy strand we're turning heads and breaking stereotypes. My hope is that pretty soon they'll be more bw with healthy hair than those without and no one will assume we're mixed with anything but talent!

 

[Ms Kain]

Yup he does not like black girls but since i looked cute that day, he liked me and just assumed that i could not, in any way, be black because then his false reality would be shot to hell because now he likes a black girl... (alot of "becauses" in there - where's lil sparkle to correct me?!)

i asked him was he serious and he said that his friend insisted to him that i was mixed and just didn't want to tell them.

Wow....what a saddddd little man.

He's definitely not a loss for our team, is he?? Yeah "they" <--- meaning whoever HE finds attractive - can have him!

 

[JollyGal]

Bookmarking...

Ladies who have experienced this...if you could use one word to describe the look on the faces of the folks who asked you if you are mixed and then found out that you are not...what would it be?

Emoticons are welcome.

 

[Ms Kain]

I'm only APL and I get that often. Fellow Nigerians won't believe me when I say I'm 100% Nigerian (as in, the first one in my family born here) until they see both of my parents o.o

I think the wildest one I got was when someone asked "Which tribe are you from?"

...

As in Native American tribe.

What TRIBE?!?!?!?!

OH GEEZ-USSS WEEPSSSS!!!!!