Discussion: Who Messed You Up?

[Kawaii1]

The only true set back I had was before LHCF and I got this fabulous dye job. I loved the color but since I didn't know how to care for it, it all broke off. Sometimes I wonder how long my hair would be. It sucks because my hair only grow about 1/4 inch a month so....

I'm starting to think stylist want to cut so often because they are cutting for even-ness(is that a word) and not health. I recently went to the shop and I prepped myself ahead of time to tell her I didn't want the ends trimmed. She is my stylist for 10 years plus so she gave me a hard time(along with my sister ) but she didn't trim. Anywho, the point is, I think they call your ends "raggedy" and all but usually they are talking about the unevenness which is inevitable. So your ends can look raggedy especially if you air dry.

 

[Dee Raven]

I just had a setback last week, and I'm still upset about it. I went to get my hair pressed and flat ironed, and this lady ripped so much hair out. This was after I had alreawdy pre-combed and conditioned it for her, and then when she shampooed my hair, she re-tangled the whole thing. Then after it was tangled she kept yanking the little rat tooth comb through it. What the ??? I was ready to just get up and leave in the middle of it, but I stayed because I had my high school reunion, but I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO A SALON AGAIN. They were okay when I was getting my hair relaxed, but as a natural they have no idea what they are doing. The only thing I'm going to do now is get my hair cut, and rest assured it will NOT be at a salon. I'll just go to supercut or to some other place where they specialize in cutting only. It was a hard lesson to learn, but on the bright side now I know. But like Madea, I'm still mad as hell.

 

[Christelyn]

I just had a setback last week, and I'm still upset about it. I went to get my hair pressed and flat ironed, and this lady ripped so much hair out. This was after I had alreawdy pre-combed and conditioned it for her, and then when she shampooed my hair, she re-tangled the whole thing. Then after it was tangled she kept yanking the little rat tooth comb through it. What the ??? I was ready to just get up and leave in the middle of it, but I stayed because I had my high school reunion, but I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO A SALON AGAIN. They were okay when I was getting my hair relaxed, but as a natural they have no idea what they are doing. The only thing I'm going to do now is get my hair cut, and rest assured it will NOT be at a salon. I'll just go to supercut or to some other place where they specialize in cutting only. It was a hard lesson to learn, but on the bright side now I know. But like Madea, I'm still mad as hell.

Aaaahh, the infamous rat tail comb, the stylist's favorite weapon...er...I mean tool. Disarm that woman immediately!

 

[~NanCeBoTwin~]

About 4 years ago....My hair was a little shorter than it is now, probably a just a bit past SL....it was healthy and growing. I'd decided to go natural and try dreds. Well 4 1/2 months post I said to my girls,
Me: "bump this I need a relaxer"
my girls: "no you don't your hair is fine, just let J press it with a comb"
J: "yeah I press my moms all the time, then you can use your GVP ceramic flat iron and it'll look great"
Me: "ok"

It worked great the first couple of times, but on top of that I was using Joico K-pak reconstructer EVERY WEEK...I know I know, but I didn't know any better. I knew nothing about protein and even less about a protein moisture balance...say what! On top of that I was using the flat iron on 415 degrees each time I used it, even daily during the week not just on wash day.

Needless to say, my hair broke or burned off (take your pick) into somewhat of a bowl shaped cut that barely made neck length. I decided I needed to go back to seeing professionals so I started seeing this stylist....She was great for health but she was hell on any length. EVERY time I sat in her chair for the following year she clipped my ends, and I'm not exaggerating I mean EVERYTIME...I saw her once a week, every now and then I'd push every 2 weeks, but it was weekly more often than not. So as she got my hair healthy my hair stayed the same length.

So I stopped seeing her and started seeing my sisters stylist and I have been true to her every since. I went from neck length to between SL and APL in the 2 1/2 years since I've been seeing her....

 

[Christelyn]

About 4 years ago....My hair was a little shorter than it is now, probably a just a bit past SL....it was healthy and growing. I'd decided to go natural and try dreds. Well 4 1/2 months post I said to my girls,
Me: "bump this I need a relaxer"
my girls: "no you don't your hair is fine, just let J press it with a comb"
J: "yeah I press my moms all the time, then you can use your GVP ceramic flat iron and it'll look great"
Me: "ok"

It worked great the first couple of times, but on top of that I was using Joico K-pak reconstructer EVERY WEEK...I know I know, but I didn't know any better. I knew nothing about protein and even less about a protein moisture balance...say what! On top of that I was using the flat iron on 415 degrees each time I used it, even daily during the week not just on wash day.

Needless to say, my hair broke or burned off (take your pick) into somewhat of a bowl shaped cut that barely made neck length. I decided I needed to go back to seeing professionals so I started seeing this stylist....She was great for health but she was hell on any length. EVERY time I sat in her chair for the following year she clipped my ends, and I'm not exaggerating I mean EVERYTIME...I saw her once a week, every now and then I'd push every 2 weeks, but it was weekly more often than not. So as she got my hair healthy my hair stayed the same length.

So I stopped seeing her and started seeing my sisters stylist and I have been true to her every since. I went from neck length to between SL and APL in the 2 1/2 years since I've been seeing her....

Thanks for saying you shouldn't use Joico K-Pak Restructuring condish every week! I just bought it yesterday and the girl at Trade Secrets said that it doesn't produce protein overload. She says it "stops working" once the holes are filled. Shows how much she knows! erplexed

 

[taz007]

Thanks for saying you shouldn't use Joico K-Pak Restructuring condish every week! I just bought it yesterday and the girl at Trade Secrets said that it doesn't produce protein overload. She says it "stops working" once the holes are filled. Shows how much she knows! erplexed

I use the Joico reconstructor every week. I do however moisturize like crazy and use the Moisture Recovery during the week. So far, I haven't had any problems.

I wonder if this works best on coarse, thick, relaxed hair???

 

[~NanCeBoTwin~]

Thanks for saying you shouldn't use Joico K-Pak Restructuring condish every week! I just bought it yesterday and the girl at Trade Secrets said that it doesn't produce protein overload. She says it "stops working" once the holes are filled. Shows how much she knows! erplexed

OT........I don't want to deter you as that was just happened to me, I'm still not an expert at protein but I've learned that my hair doesn't like protein but instead LOVES moisture. As a matter of fact the last time I used that K-pak was the last time I really used protein on my hair.....my stylist never gives me protein treatments either, guess I'm a moisture type of gal.

I use the Joico reconstructor every week. I wonder if this works best on coarse, thick, relaxed hair???

I'm all of the above.....

 

[Angelinhell]

Since everybody seems to be bumping old threads
I'll add my stories later.

 

[jenaccess]

I am so so tired of setbacks. When I was 21yrs old I cut my hip length hair into an asymetrical bob. My Dad looked like he wanted to cry. He said that I would never have that hair again and stop speaking to me.
When I started this hair journey I cut my hair shoulder length...Soon after I paid hundreds of dollars for a sewin that was beautiful but when I took it out....I had bald spots all over my head.
Then when the blad spots filled in...I had kinky twist put in...they were also beautiful. My hair really grew after 3 month of wear....but when I took them out I had bald spots.
My hair was BSL but very thin....so I cut my hair up to my shoulders again.
I was really into my hair journey....I didn't cut my hair for over a year...Grew back to BSL
Then in Jan. 2012 I wanted my cousin to trim 1 inch but instead she cut 6-8. PISSED
All of 2012 I was dedicated to my hair journey...but my hair became drier and drier. The Henna dried out my hair and I started co-washing 2-3x wkly. Co washing works!
On my 50th Bday I did my hair myself after streching my relaxer for 16wks. I relaxed and colored my hair with permanent haircolor. I was loving my hair....but a week later my hair was breaking like crazy.
I know I know ladies. It was the permanent haircolor. I havn't used permanent haircolor in onr 15 years. I knew better....my stupidity. I can see my Dad now almost ready to cry.
My hair is back to APL with thin ends. No more permanent color, no more relaxer, Henna, direct heat and definitely no more cousin trimmimg my hair.
I will be wearing braids, wigs and weaves for the rest of the year maybe 2.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I've never had a real setback that caused my hair to break off or fall out. I had my nape burned off twice, down to 1-2 inches from MBL, but the rest of my hair was long enough to cover it until it grew back. The only other thing was post partum shedding that took my edges out.

 

[Channy31]

My biggest set back was relaxing. I was natural till about age 16 when I tried a relaxer, I hated it! Burned so so so much and my hair had splits all the way up it was gross. After 2 years of weave my shoulder length hair was MBL. I had my hair out of weaves for about 2 weeks before trimming off the relaxed end but they were so damaged that in that the relaxed ends broke off to about 3 inches. So I chopped my hair back to shoulder length and two years later I'm just under four inches to waist length!

 

[SimJam]

all my setbacks have been self inflicted
just before I found LHCF I gave myself a setback

went on vacation swam in the pool the last day we were at the resort, didnt wash or rinse my hair out then got a relaxer the next day.

hair was breaking immediately while I was at the salon.
But I rescued it with LHCF

when I went natural I bleached/coloured my hair and over the course of about 10 months ALL the coloured hair broke off, basically I lost a whole year of growth.

Im back on the mend now and growing.

Those are to 2 MAJOR setbacks I can remember .... Im sure there have been other minor setbacks, one which comes to mind is brewing a hair tea which was much much too strong and my hair started breaking ... but I caught it in time so that not much damage was done

 

[sky035]

Since starting my journey in 2007, my setbacks have been:

a) using an at-home colour in my hair (Loreal) which changed its texture and made it dry like I have never experienced in my life

b) going from texlaxed hair to bone straight hair (hated it and ended up cutting it off). I also suffer from PCOS,so each year, I suffer a setback at my temples and nape if I am not taking my iron, babying my hair, frequent DCs, and staying away from heat etc.

c) my final setback was having a stylist use a flat iron on my hair 2 years ago which caused really bad heat damage after my hair grew out from my 2nd BC; big mistake; there is nothing worse than heat damage, so BC #3 happened last June

I would say that my setbacks were all on me. My stylist begged me not to go bone straight and I did not listen, so I actually had a good stylist who cared about me reaching my hair goals. However, you live and learn and I have LEARNED .

 

[StarScream35]

My setbacks started when I transitioned to natural.

First I couldn't get the right products to moisturize my hair so I experienced severe breakage.

Then I was getting matting at the roots which caused more breakage.

My most recent setback was when I tried Babyface pure protein which broke off a bit of my hair but not too much. I ended up chopping some of it.

Other than that, I finally found what works and I maintain length well.

 

[Angelinhell]

Well, I suppose it was kinda my mom, but mostly these modern day stylists. I was a pressed natural up until I was like 9 or 10, (the stylist was also my granny's stylist). She decided she was retiring, my mom didn't know what to do with my thick head of hair. Every beauty shop we went to refused to press my hair because it was "too much" and "too thick". My mother finally gave in and let this beautician relax my hair. I absolutely hated it. I much preferred the heat of a pressing comb to the burn of a chemical, that was the worst pain I've ever felt. Over the years I jumped from chair to chair, my hair got shorter and shorter. Of course being a member of LHCF, I now now how to take care of my hair and haven't had a relaxer burn since I've been on my hhj. But lately I've beem tinkering with the idea of transitioning, for myself really, no ulterior motives.

 

[Gr8ness83]

ME, MYSELF. & I!

 

[KiLLaCarLi]

I could blame the salon, or more specifically two stylists I saw, one who dyed me the bright blonde I'd requested, (not highlights, noooo, root to tip like I thought I was faith Evans or something) or I could blame the one who gave me the crimps... on the highest heat setting... on newly blonde hair.... Neither of them ever mentioning DCing or protein or the health of my hair for my consideration, but honestly I just blame myself for allowing these people the unchecked access to and ultimately control of MY hairs health. It was obvious they didn't truly have any vested interest in my hair besides the money they made for the appt. and I did have a stylist who would've cared more about my hairs health in my Rolodex at the time, although I was maybe 20, 21 and not on a HHJ, it was definitely a marked setback in my hairs health, probably the most devastating I'd ever experienced. I didn't know any better. But I learned quick.

Later, I'd fry my own hair out with constant flatironing, not being able to see the damage I was doing because of the microlinks I wore *tear drop smiley*

That's the recent setback that turned me into a naturalista and bought me eventually to this site, I'd say not even 6 months ago did I realize my hair was badly in need of some TLC and actually begin actively learning how to care for my own hair in its natural state. So far since then, on my HHJ no "setbacks"

 

[Ivonnovi]

Back in the day, I dyed my hair blond with Miss Clairol. It not only broke off, but it developed a greenish tinge; BTW I was pregnant at the time.

1990's too scared to bleach my own hair, I had my stylist put a blond strip into my hair. It was glued in and I was "assured" that the relaxer I used between my visits would loosen the glue and make it easy to remove. A few weeks later I had a nice lil'fro growing where that glue had been placed. She was fired.

Later I'd keep my hair in braids for 8 weeks, then took it down for 8. Did this for almost a year; I was able to retain the length, however I carelessly cut a few inches off when trying to remove the braids.

OOOOOooo, not a set back but trauma!!!!! I am very tenderheaded always been; at one stylists salon I had to fire the shampoo mutt; this Ninja was to aggressive and I refused to squirm through ruff treatment. I almost stormed out with a wet head.

 

[PinkSunshine77]

My own use of heat. I never trusted stylists and still don't.

 

[KinkyRN]

Just not knowing my hair and lack of patience caused 3 BC's. First didn't know that my hair hated shea butter and knew nothing about M&S. Then I used a keratin treatment, BCed. Next a texturizer then a 3rd BC. I am 2 years natural and have a faded twa to show for it. Now I am being patient and just letting my hair tell me what to do.

 

[BFeathers]

I listened to a cousin's advice on perming my hair every 4 weeks. The minute NG starts get it permed. I swear for about 4 months my hair grew and was IMO at the time the longest it had been in awhile and it was lush and full.

Then I went to get that next 4 week perm and it came out so flat and limp. I was spraying water on it trying to fluff it up. I stopped doing that and started oiling it up then went back to my stylist and got an Aphrogee and then I was see through end city. I kept those ends for about 2 months because while see through they were SL and I didn't want to have short hair.

It got ridiculous so I had to bit the bullet and I cried seeing my hair ear length despite everyone being all "It's cute, short and sassy" yeah when it was swinging and freshly relaxed. Short hair + new growth that makes it not swing = ugly as hell. At least on me. So I kept sizzling it with the flat iron to get the swing look because I looked and felt better. That was 2 years ago and I'm finally making headway into SL hair again.

I was just so sick of only being able to go to the shop during certain hours due to work and having to stay there for most of my Saturday morning in and around everyone else. Having a family member do it was nice because it was on my time because it was flexible.

Self-perming. It's truly for me the most difficult thing and one I honestly don't think I'll ever learn how to do. It's a deadly chemical to the hair and I just don't like short hair and I have little patience and I'm too scared to really learn because I don't trust myself with not doing something wrong then being back at ear length or shorter for years

 

[lamaria211]

Me, myself and I. "Lowers head and quietly leaves thread"

 

[faithVA]

I have had so many setbacks since 13 that it would be crazy to list them all

My latest setback was in October and my fault. I had done a few rollersets and liked the results. I wanted a professional rollerset to compare and to see if I could move to getting weekly rollersets at a salon. Her rollersets did not come out better than mine. The combination of the Jane Carter conditioner and whatever tool she used to detangle my hair just stripped the ends of my hair. It wasn't noticeable immediately but about 30 days out my ends were a mess. So I have spent the past 6 months try to recover from a rollerset.

The upside is that I have simplified my regimen and pretty much done with trying a whole lot of things. It forced me to find things that work for my hair.