Black Hair - do we MAKE it complicated?!

[Syrah]

Ladies came with some great viewpoints in the "do we explain our hair to whyte folks thread" for their reasons why and why not they take the time to "shed some light" on the Beauty of black hair (and why we like to go a few days without washing it - especially ya'll with the 4 hour wash routines...haha).

One consistent comment from a handful of ladies was that black hair was complicated...and I'm wondering, what is it about black hair that is leading to the conclusion that its complicated (aside from the 2349583.2 textures we all have going on). LHCF is all about taking the mystery out of carrying for our hair and helping us learn from each other and share our experiences - the good, the bad and the ugly. And yet many of us still find our hair situation to be "complicated" - which, I'd like to add, is totally valid.

Are we complicating our hair?!

:::Sex and the City Moment:::

I can't help but wonder, when it comes to black women and our hair, is it really our hair that is complicated, or is it US?

 

[balisi]

I think we do sometimes make it complicated. Black hair is not complicated, but it is different. Most people , regardless of ethnicity, have major issues with their hair. I see and hear about it every day in my profession, with men, women and children. Our hair's differences and lack of understanding/support for it make it a bigger issue than it should be.

 

[dreamer26]

I don't think it has to be complicated but I think there are so many products and testimonies about these products and sometimes we are desparate to achieve BLS or APL or neck length that we try to much stuff and when it doesn't work overnight we're frustated and ready to give up.

As I read from those that have achieved their hair regimen and know their hair, what it likes and dislikes it not hard at all, but for the ones that's still searching for the right products it can become overwhelming, because there is no one way to grow black hair. What works for one may not work for someone else so getting advice may become difficult as well.

Until you find the right products for your hair and your hair regimen it's probably complicated and frustrating.

BUT DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!

 

[sareca]

My hair is far from simple. When I treated it like it was (washed it and did nothing else) most of it ended up all over the floor, sink and my clothes. Now I have umpteen products and processes and it's thriving. To take care of black hair is not intuitive nor simple... I'd call it complicated. But I might be in the minority here. I didn't post on the other thread, but when people ask me about my hair I say simply "It's complicated."

 

[Softresses]

Black ladies have so many different types and combinations of types of hair texture, density, strength etc. that it could be construed as complicated to people who do not have such variety.

Sareca just said that her hair thrives more with a more detailed regime of care. My hair thrives with almost no care at all. When my mother and I tried everything on my hair to try to care for it all we succeded in doing was hurting it. I had to learn, through the years that my hair just wanted conditioner and to be left alone!

I find that people who don't have hair like ours tend to have some very wierd ideas about our hair!

Softresses

 

[B_Phlyy]

I think we do. Before I joined hair boards, I too thought that there were a lot of differences between black and white hair. But I've come to learn that they have the same amount of problems that we do, they just deal with them differently. Just like we have varying degrees of curls and thickness, so do they. If they choose to perm or color their hair and then don't take care of it, it will fall out. They same will happen to black hair.

I personally have stopped looking at it as a black hair/white hair think. My hair is thin to medium, naturally dry and chemically altered. If a white woman had hair like this, she would probably have the same problems as me.

 

[Mystic]

I do not believe we are the ones who make our hair complication - I think our hair is complicated. Simply put, my white girlfriend wash and blow dry her hair everyday and her hair is alive, bouncy and long. Total time to wash and complete process? approx. 15-20 mins. She uses no conditioner in her hair. If she doesn't blow dry, she wash and go to bed. Next day her hair is nice flowing. Dare I do that? Absolutely not! Whether natural or relaxed, if I were to treat my hair the same - it would either be bald eventually or stay at the same length forever. Now, since I cannot treat my hair the same way she does, she might ask me why not. For me to get into the whole hair process that I go through - DC, pre-treat, leave-ins, conditioners, oils, rollerset, etc.........., I would simply say to her...., can't get into it right now - it's too complicated.

 

[Queenie]

I don't think my hair is complicated, but it is picky. If I do the right things and use the right products, it's no big deal.

Styling CAN be time consuming, but that's my preference.

 

[Syrah]

I think we do sometimes make it complicated. Black hair is not complicated, but it is different. Most people , regardless of ethnicity, have major issues with their hair. I see and hear about it every day in my profession, with men, women and children. Our hair's differences and lack of understanding/support for it make it a bigger issue than it should be.

That's exactly what I'm saying. I don't think its our hair by any stretch of the imagination - its us. Without a doubt.

Our hair isn't finicky - we're just using products that don't do anything for our hair. My hair wasn't breaking off because thats what it does - it was breaking off because I was doing things to it that I shouldn't have been doing - curling, geling, flat ironing, pressing, flipping.

And everyone has to learn their own hair. Asian girls constantly talk about how bleaching their hair strips it and breaks it out - it doesn't affect white girls as badly. It's learning our hair.

And part of it has to do with stepping back and "doing us" - doing whats good for US not what's good for everyone else.

My hair ain't complicated. I'm just hardheaded.

 

[MissYocairis]

I think we DO perceive our hair as complicated and, even in that thread about explaining it to white folx, I believe the co-worker of mine was explaining HER hair to the whites was MAKING IT more complicated with her dissertation on her roots being rough and relaxing once a month and yada yada yada....

Also, coming up with crazy rules like not being allowed in the rain. Why not? Will our hair melt if it's rained on?

 

[Queenie]

And part of it has to do with stepping back and "doing us" - doing whats good for US not what's good for everyone else.

My hair ain't complicated. I'm just hardheaded.

Exactly, I've learned my hair doesn't like to be straight. After years of crappy looking hair I've found styles my hair cooperates with. "Our" hair would be long if we didn't style it so much.

 

[Syrah]

I think we DO perceive our hair as complicated and, even in that thread about explaining it to white folx, I believe the co-worker of mine was explaining HER hair to the whites was MAKING IT more complicated with her dissertation on her roots being rough and relaxing once a month and yada yada yada....

Also, coming up with crazy rules like not being allowed in the rain. Why not? Will our hair melt if it's rained on?

HAHA! Nah...homegirl just doesn't want to have to go through her 6 hour straight hair routine because she was messin around in some rain.

Again - her hair ain't complicated. SHE is.

...and I've been that girl - and every so often, I revert to that girl.

 

[asha]

Re: Black Hair - do we MAKE it complicated?! LONG

Haven't read all of the responses yet but I will say that I believe WE make things more than they are...don't care what hair is in your head. I don't think my hair is more complicated then anyone else's. I may choose to wear it a certain way which may take a routine to get it looking that certain way but who doesn't?
Women of all races have mega issues with their hair. I have friends who..well lets just focus on the white friends for comparison or should I say similarities sake...

comments out the mouths of white friends about their own hair on their heads:

Does my hair smell, I haven't washed it for a few days because it styles better dirty. (she asked this because another friend was just about to style her hair because we were all going out that night)

I can't get this rat's nest to do anything

My hair is so flat and thin, you're luck to have thick hair

Boy, you can do anything with your hair..When I wear my hair like that I have to put 30 bobby pins in my hair. ( I was wearing an updo and she was with me when I took it down...only used 4 bobby pins)

You know those hats that Laura Ingels on little house on the prairie wore at night to keep her hair from tangling in her sleep. (friend trying to explain to me why she wears bonnets to bed).

Not a quote but one of my best gal pals has 10 times more lotions and potions in her bathroom then some of the pj's on this board. You guys have been to the local drugstore...that one entire wall dedicated to stuff for hair...who do you think is buying them. Never mind...now they got pantene for just blonde's, brunettes, or redheads...this same friend..who is brunette..thought she'd try the pantene for redheads..hoping it would give her red highlights.

Well just because you have GOOD hair
(yup the good hair thing is alive and well in the white world)....this is what I heard yelled across the hall in residence at university. From one white gal to another. I of course rushed out my room to see who had said it because those words were all to familiar to me. What happened was this girl who's morning routine is absolutely ridiculous was asked by another to stop being so loud...(every morning it's blowdryer for what's seems like an hour). That was her response. She went on to whine about all she has to do to get her hair to look good. This was one of my favorites.

Well just a handful but yeah..I've heard it all from everyone. Living in residence at university sure opened my eyes to a lot of things...some things that I wish I was still blind to...but that's a whole other post best placed in a password protected forum, lol.

 

[FlowerHair]

Re: Black Hair - do we MAKE it complicated?! LONG

I think some black women are so afraid of their hair looking anything but perfect that it gets complicated. Some don't want the "naps" to show, some want it to lay down when our hair really wants to stand up and out LOL
When you fight your hair's natural look it will definately get complicated...

Someone mentioned white women that can wash and go etc, yes, but they don't fight their hair's natural abilities. That's what their hair does. If they tried to create an afro on a daily basis, their hair care would be very complicated too.

 

[EbonyRose]

I think that for the most part, it is not as complicated but as dreamer26 wrote, it takes knowing ur hair. I'm one of those that are still in search mode, so it seems complicated-- oh yea, and frustrating .
In comparison to other types, if type 4 or very curly hair is driest then, it would need more attention than a type 2--but trying to explain it to someone less knowledge-able, it may across as complicated.
For me the most complicated part is the damage that I caused- and trying to rebound-- learning that brushing and combing, excess heat, alcohol based products, not replacing moisture, moisture balance etc. does in fact create chaos seems overwhelming, esp. when my inexperience and ignorance allowed me to think otherwise.

 

[Arcadian]

I don't consider my hair to be complicated, but its picky. As my hair gets longer I'm finding that I need to do things a little different. I'm also learning what NOT to do with hair this long (yes, its only shoulder length but to me thats long since I never had it before)



-A

 

[Queenie]

Re: Black Hair - do we MAKE it complicated?! LONG

I think some black women are so afraid of their hair looking anything but perfect that it gets complicated. Some don't want the "naps" to show, some want it to lay down when our hair really wants to stand up and out LOL
When you fight your hair's natural look it will definately get complicated...

Someone mentioned white women that can wash and go etc, yes, but they don't fight their hair's natural abilities. That's what their hair does. If they tried to create an afro on a daily basis, their hair care would be very complicated too.

Exactly.

 

[MzTami]

I don't know if it's complicated or I'm just styled challenged. Either way, it's challenging.

 

[MissYocairis]

Re: Black Hair - do we MAKE it complicated?! LONG

I think some black women are so afraid of their hair looking anything but perfect that it gets complicated. Some don't want the "naps" to show, some want it to lay down when our hair really wants to stand up and out LOL
When you fight your hair's natural look it will definately get complicated...

Someone mentioned white women that can wash and go etc, yes, but they don't fight their hair's natural abilities. That's what their hair does. If they tried to create an afro on a daily basis, their hair care would be very complicated too.

That's an excellent point. I remember wondering why I had to have my hairline shaped up in the back as a teenager wearing a bob. The hair on my nape and neck grows long and yet, because it could not be incorporated into the bob hair style, the neck hair always had to be "shaped up" into a fake hairline in the back. It was a fine, soft and loosely curly mass of hair. But, it's because I'm a hairy girl. And, that is fine with me.

I never understood why it HAD to be that perfect and who was I satisfying by doing it everytime I went to the salon? My boyfriend didn't care. In fact, I don't recall boys caring at all. It was just women who cared. "SHAVE THAT MESS OFF!" "YOU NEED YOUR HAIRLINE SHAPED UP!"

Letting my neck and nape hair grow out in the back was my first act of rebellion and my second was to wear ponytails and buns that clearly SHOW that my nape and neck are not perfectly edged like Steve Harvey's! Why do we think our hair has to be so PERFECT all the time?

 

[Barbara]

I think it’s complicated, because some of us were never taught how to do our hair. Then some of us have type 4 a/b strands which are really dry and kinky. The only way my hair has ever looked nice is because I’ve never done it. When I was a child, my mother used to do it. As soon as I hit 13, I started going to the salon . . . and I still go till this day. Whatever the case, strangers, workmates, classmates, relatives, boyfriends and friends would compliment me on my hair.

Now that I have more patience and knowledge, I feel that I could do my hair--but I can’t spend six hours in a day doing it. My stylist told me if I ever do my hair, I will get tired. I told him I will wash and detangle it Saturday morning and press it on Sunday morning. It won’t do any good to hot curl it, because the curls will fall out within two hours due to the weight and length of the hair.

Thanks to him, I know which products work best and which ones won’t. It’s just a matter of time, patience, simplicity, knowledge and less manipulation. Some of the regimens I’ve read are very complicated and overwhelming, to say the least. Some do too much for their hair.

 

[Candy_C]

i honestly think we can do

and i used to too

but since around 2006, i changed everything

i wash my hair when i feel to, and i just pop my pills

my regime is very simple

and idont deep condition that much anymore

aslong as i have water and a bit of avo'coco, my hair can go for weeks looking moisturized and soft.

i comb my hair like every 7 -10 days

the more you leave it alone, the better it'l llook and the faster it'll grow

 

[PeaceFlow]

I think most of the complication is trying to find wonder products and processes that will change our lives forever.

It takes a lot of energy to recreate the Pantene adverts lol.

Theres quite a few Napturals with 4b trying products and processes to make it look (curly pudding) 3b.

Theres relaxed and nappy girls having the bench mark of White/Asian straightness and bounce to deal with.

This s**t takes up precious time and products.

 

[growth2come]

It not that its complicated, from what I understand about our hair is that out of all times of hair it is the most fragile. Although people seem to think it is tough, this is because it is kinky and coarse and people seem to mistake this for strength when in fact our hair tends to be dry while other types tend to get greasy as the days pass. Also because our hair(God help it) doesnt keep in moisture as easily as other hair types hence why we need this moisturiser to keep the moisture in and this oil to seal it in so that the mositure doesnt escape and we are back to square one of kinky and brittle hair that breaks off before growth...so no I dont think we make things complicated its just our hair type needs to treated with more care and patience (as we get to grips with the products that work well with a fro!)

 

[neenzmj]

Black ladies have so many different types and combinations of types of hair texture, density, strength etc. that it could be construed as complicated to people who do not have such variety.

Sareca just said that her hair thrives more with a more detailed regime of care. My hair thrives with almost no care at all. When my mother and I tried everything on my hair to try to care for it all we succeded in doing was hurting it. I had to learn, through the years that my hair just wanted conditioner and to be left alone!

I find that people who don't have hair like ours tend to have some very wierd ideas about our hair!

Softresses

This is my hair as well. It seems to do quite well simply with shampooing conditioning/moisturizing, leaving the color alone and not too much heat.

 

[motherx2esq]

My hair is far from simple. When I treated it like it was (washed it and did nothing else) most of it ended up all over the floor, sink and my clothes. Now I have umpteen products and processes and it's thriving. To take care of black hair is not intuitive nor simple... I'd call it complicated. But I might be in the minority here. I didn't post on the other thread, but when people ask me about my hair I say simply "It's complicated."

I concur. My hair is far from simple. It just is. It take a full evening (and some times the next morning) to wash and prepare my hair the rest of the week. There are several products involved.

 

[cocoberry10]

My hair is far from simple. When I treated it like it was (washed it and did nothing else) most of it ended up all over the floor, sink and my clothes. Now I have umpteen products and processes and it's thriving. To take care of black hair is not intuitive nor simple... I'd call it complicated. But I might be in the minority here. I didn't post on the other thread, but when people ask me about my hair I say simply "It's complicated."

I agree with this. Something that’s complicated doesn’t have to be bad either. Love is complicated, but it’s beautiful. I think the way you feel about your hair has a lot more to do with whether or not it will be a negative complicated or a positive complicated. I think of my hair as “complicated” or “complex” because it takes a lot to take care of it. Since joining the board, I’ve realized that it’s more simple than I thought, but it’s not simple. White women can wash and go, and do nothing with their hair, and it may not look fabulous, but it won’t all be on the floor. Our hair just wasn’t made this way. In the same way, we don’t tend to age like they do. They have to go through all kinds of complicated things to “stay young,” whereas our melanin protects us. It’s just the way things are. I think it’s better to learn to work with what you do have, than to focus on what you don’t!

 

[cocoberry10]

I don't think it has to be complicated but I think there are so many products and testimonies about these products and sometimes we are desparate to achieve BLS or APL or neck length that we try to much stuff and when it doesn't work overnight we're frustated and ready to give up.

As I read from those that have achieved their hair regimen and know their hair, what it likes and dislikes it not hard at all, but for the ones that's still searching for the right products it can become overwhelming, because there is no one way to grow black hair. What works for one may not work for someone else so getting advice may become difficult as well.
Until you find the right products for your hair and your hair regimen it's probably complicated and frustrating.

BUT DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!

I also agree with this, especially the bolded!

 

[wheezy807]

I don't think black hair is complicated, i think that we just have to put more time and effort into what seems to be natural to other ethnicities. Our hair is unique.

 

[MissMarie]

Re: Black Hair - do we MAKE it complicated?! LONG

I think some black women are so afraid of their hair looking anything but perfect that it gets complicated. Some don't want the "naps" to show, some want it to lay down when our hair really wants to stand up and out LOL
When you fight your hair's natural look it will definately get complicated...

Someone mentioned white women that can wash and go etc, yes, but they don't fight their hair's natural abilities. That's what their hair does. If they tried to create an afro on a daily basis, their hair care would be very complicated too.

good point
ITA
When I changed what I was doing to my hair and the types of looks I was going for my routine became really simple and length retention just happened.

 

[cocoberry10]

I think most of the complication is trying to find wonder products and processes that will change our lives forever.

It takes a lot of energy to recreate the Pantene adverts lol.

Theres quite a few Napturals with 4b trying products and processes to make it look (curly pudding) 3b.
Theres relaxed and nappy girls having the bench mark of White/Asian straightness and bounce to deal with.

This s**t takes up precious time and products.

I didn’t think this was possible???