Wish You Could Go Natural???

[CurleeDST]

You know you hit on a good point - this site is very helpful and informative and really teaches one how to do it yourself. I used to wash my own hair in between touch ups and stuff only b/c we could not afford to go to the salon every other week. But I met young ladies in high school who went to the salon every other week religiously. I met women who hvae lost their jobs and still managed to find money for their biweekly appointments. I even met women who didn't know how to WASH their own hair!

I admit, I tried in the past to self relax but never got it as good as the salon and am impressed with those ladies who can self relax with salon results. I am impressed with those ladies who can self trim and rollerset their hair and get salon results! In the end that shifts the power structure of this industry and provides women with more choices than total dependency on a "professional" who may or may NOT have your hair's appearance and best interest at heart.

I love this site for that and enjoy reading the dialogue on relaxed heads of hair along with natural heads of hair because I feel there is something I can learn from everyone and their respective journies and experiences!

This was a great response. ITA With eveything!!! Can I just add?...

I think this board is all about making women feel good about their hair whether they are relaxed or natural, adn while I cannot speak for anyone, I do apologize for any animosity towards relaxed hair you felt while reading the previous posts.
But the simple fact is a relaxer is a chemical you put on your body, and there are consequences to that, and alot of us(not all) never learned to properly care for our hair, and were left to stylists who were not concerned with the health of the hair, or parents who did the best they could. So there is a little bit of liberation in learning to take care on your own, whether you are relaxed or natural, which I think is more what this board is about. I have some natural inspirations and some relaxed inspirations neither I think is better then the other, just different. But i think the important thing is learning to embrace you, whoever that is, and allowing your hair to be one reflection of who you are.

 

[SouthernTease]

Chemicals in general are not the healthiest options.
That's why it's better to eat organic foods.
That's why it's healthier to go natural.
That's why people shouldn't pop pills for every little ailment.
I think we're in an era where everything can
be fixed with a pill and science has a cure for
everything, but we need to be
more conscious about the things we put in/on our bodies.
I think almost everyone would agree.
We have a very Western way of thinking,
but maybe we should get back to basics
and be more "ZEN-like" with our hair.
The proof is in the pudding really,
the pH of a relaxer is 13, the pH of a hair remover
is 12... the normal pH of our hair is 4-6... so
when you know the facts, you can be more
conscious about relaxing. Relaxers aren't regulated
by the FDA, there are lots of studies that have
proven relaxers to have harmful effects.
I'm not anti-relaxers. I'm transitioning my
damn self I'm more about Black
Women being more health conscious in general.
Maybe you'll make your stretches last longer
Maybe you'll decide to go natural, but
as long as your thinking twice about it...
we're becoming more conscious about it...
You remember people were smoking, no one
knew it caused cancer until several research studies
made it public and after many people died. I'm
not saying that using relaxers could end up in
causing effects so severe, but they do cause
effects that we can't see right away. A person's hair
may appear to be healthy and long or whatever,
but ALL THAT GLITTERS ISN'T GOLD.
I'm really not trying to convert anybody
by using scare tactics or whatever...
I'm just getting into this myself, but
FACTS ARE FACTS
Just FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

 

[CurleeDST]

Good points. Not saying no one should relax, just understand what is being done when you do relax. For me, I know I should probably eat more organic but I do not always go for the organic produce. Choices, but as long as we are making an informed choice.

All these lovely heads of hair is beautiful and I wish more black women knew about or cared enough to participate on this forum. When I walk the streets and get a word about my hair and start hair discussions, I realize some of these women are walking around w/ the same mindset many of us had when we started on these boards - ill-informed and totally reliant on the hairdresser. My girl came by yesterday and she didn't know she did this but she "stretched" her relaxer. While she was preggers I say she TRANSITIONED b/c she did not get a touch for over a year while she was pregnant and after she had teh baby. She said she just kept getting her roots pressed. She also didn't cut her hair but only by the full moon. We have heard of that on here too.

She got a relaxer in September (baby born in August) and didn't get her next one until this past May. That is a major STRETCH! She did not know that is what she was doing but she said she did it b/c she could not get to the hairdresser. My other girl has beautifully long hair. She complained that the hair around the front was breaking off a little. She attributed it to getting a touch up too soon.

She said she normally gets them every 3 months up in NYC. SHe lives in VA so since she travelled to the NYC a little earlier she just went ahead and got her touch up. She is now considering going natural. She had mbl hair!

So I say all this to say everyone is doing great and I appreciate all of the information and techniques I learn on this board relaxed or not.

Chemicals in general are not the healthiest options.
That's why it's better to eat organic foods.
That's why it's healthier to go natural.
That's why people shouldn't pop pills for every little ailment.
I think we're in an era where everything can
be fixed with a pill and science has a cure for
everything, but we need to be
more conscious about the things we put in/on our bodies.
I think almost everyone would agree.
We have a very Western way of thinking,
but maybe we should get back to basics
and be more "ZEN-like" with our hair.
The proof is in the pudding really,
the pH of a relaxer is 13, the pH of a hair remover
is 12... the normal pH of our hair is 4-6... so
when you know the facts, you can be more
conscious about relaxing. Relaxers aren't regulated
by the FDA, there are lots of studies that have
proven relaxers to have harmful effects.
I'm not anti-relaxers. I'm transitioning my
damn self I'm more about Black
Women being more health conscious in general.
Maybe you'll make your stretches last longer
Maybe you'll decide to go natural, but
as long as your thinking twice about it...
we're becoming more conscious about it...
You remember people were smoking, no one
knew it caused cancer until several research studies
made it public and after many people died. I'm
not saying that using relaxers could end up in
causing effects so severe, but they do cause
effects that we can't see right away. A person's hair
may appear to be healthy and long or whatever,
but ALL THAT GLITTERS ISN'T GOLD.
I'm really not trying to convert anybody
by using scare tactics or whatever...
I'm just getting into this myself, but
FACTS ARE FACTS
Just FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

 

[imstush]

BTW you don't HAVE to BC. You can transition in braids, with sew-ins, wigs or twistouts/braidouts. The BC really tested my resolve, but it's not for everyone. I got some seriously hateful comments from neighbors, and even DH made it clear he didn't like my hair that short. Now, less than a year later, he's like

I agree with the above. I transitioned two times successfully without ever doing a big chop.

The bolded is what people need to keep in mind.

I dont have a problem with the OP's use of the term "creamy crack". Even if I were relaxed I wouldnt have had an issue with it. For some it is like crack. Like for some coke, pepsi, cupcakes or CRACK is crack. For whatever reason, they keep going back to it, even though they (some) dont want to. It's not that deep to make someone feel bad about using it since it's not on the same level of "good hair, bad hair" mindsets that we try to educate people on. I'm not being dismissive of relaxed folx feelings, but this was not used as an insult or accusation to relaxed folx by a natural or anything along that line. It is a relaxed person who has realized she is dependent upon and keeps going back to relaxer's even while she is considering going natural. It's a hairboard term recognized almost anywhere you post, so her use of it is not inappropriate.

Ladies, let's lighten up and stop taking posts off topic by picking apart terminology looking for insults that arent intended.

TY

I agree with the above!

It's all good and it is your experience so let me share with you my logic behind some of the decisions I made surrounding being natural.

1. Relaxers are a caustic chemicals (stylists have to wear gloves to apply it) and applying something that caustic on our sensitive scalps over a period of years can do some damage. We do encounter chemicals on a daily basis if we drink, eat packaged foods, clean our homes and toilets, drink soft drinks and smoke - very true. There is a major movement to go Green everywhere.

2. There are many advantaged of straightening with relaxers but I saw the advantages of being natural because that is the way God made me, I was no longer in FEAR of getting my hair wet from rain or swimming in the pool or ocean on vacation. My relatives RUN from the water while on vacation. I am like "what is the point of getting hair freshly done to go on vacation so you can't enjoy the cool beautiful ocean"?

3. I liked the fact I no longer had to worry about booking appointments every few months and spending 3 hours at a time in the shop. I hate going to the beauty salon! They have no consideration of your time and cost too much.

4. I no longer had to worry about using a rat tail comb on my hair. Nothing that water and fingers can't fix. Why use a comb on natural hair? Our natural hair was not meant to be used with combs meant for straight hair - illogical.

5. I felt natural hair was and is versatile. You can wear it straight and mimic a relaxed look or wear it curly/puffy/kinky. YOu can twist it, loc it, curl it and the list goes on and on. Natural hair is more common now, but back when I first went natural I only really saw it on A Diff'rent World and Lauren Hill of the Fugees. No where else was it prevalent so the hairstyles were very unique and made you stand out. I am in corporate America and everyone constantly compliments me on my big natural hair b/c in the board room I stand out because everyone else's hair is flat.

6. I like straightening natural hair for a change of pace and it tends to have more body than straightened relaxed hair and when I get tired of it, just wet it and it reverts right back (if I do not do a hard press which can ruin some of your natural curl and leave you with some straight pieces).

7. It is safer to color natural hair vs. relaxed hair which is more prone to breakage.

8. Who doesn't love the feel of wate ron their scalp daily if they choose? You can do it with relaxed hair but folks tend to do it more with natural hair.

9. Braided out relaxed hair looks nothing like natural hair - to me. It looks like relaxed hair let out of braids with straight ends.

But either way - this is me sharing with you some of my experience and thought process for going natural. Now I have gone back and forth and relaxed after being natural and going natural again after being relaxed. I love the fact I have options and there are some "down" sides to being natural if you aren't prepared for the FACT you can't treat it like you do straight hair. Many of us never learned how to care for our natural hair and thusly get frustrated because it won't behave like we want. Many of us also get frustrated if we learn we have more kinky than curly hair and it doesn't lay down or curl up like we want.

It is all a growing process and I respect everyone for the choices they make.

Curlee your response was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember a quote that I would always read on another forum, not sure if I am saying it right but the jest was: not everyone that is natural is up for the rise and not everyone with a relaxer is down for the fall. If I find it I will correct the actual quote.

 

[gabulldawg]

It's all good and it is your experience so let me share with you my logic behind some of the decisions I made surrounding being natural.

1. Relaxers are a caustic chemicals (stylists have to wear gloves to apply it) and applying something that caustic on our sensitive scalps over a period of years can do some damage. We do encounter chemicals on a daily basis if we drink, eat packaged foods, clean our homes and toilets, drink soft drinks and smoke - very true. There is a major movement to go Green everywhere.

2. There are many advantaged of straightening with relaxers but I saw the advantages of being natural because that is the way God made me, I was no longer in FEAR of getting my hair wet from rain or swimming in the pool or ocean on vacation. My relatives RUN from the water while on vacation. I am like "what is the point of getting hair freshly done to go on vacation so you can't enjoy the cool beautiful ocean"?

There are plenty relaxed heads (including myself) that don't run from water. I love cowashing my hair regularly, sometimes everyday. I also love to swim and love going to the beach.

3. I liked the fact I no longer had to worry about booking appointments every few months and spending 3 hours at a time in the shop. I hate going to the beauty salon! They have no consideration of your time and cost too much.

I really agree with you on this point! But just because you have a relaxer doesn't mean that you have to go to the salon on a regular basis, just like there are some natural heads who do go to the salon on a regular basis. There are a lot of relaxed women on this board that talk about doing their own relaxers, trims, etc.

4. I no longer had to worry about using a rat tail comb on my hair. Nothing that water and fingers can't fix. Why use a comb on natural hair? Our natural hair was not meant to be used with combs meant for straight hair - illogical.

5. I felt natural hair was and is versatile. You can wear it straight and mimic a relaxed look or wear it curly/puffy/kinky. YOu can twist it, loc it, curl it and the list goes on and on. Natural hair is more common now, but back when I first went natural I only really saw it on A Diff'rent World and Lauren Hill of the Fugees. No where else was it prevalent so the hairstyles were very unique and made you stand out. I am in corporate America and everyone constantly compliments me on my big natural hair b/c in the board room I stand out because everyone else's hair is flat.

I still disagree with the versatility issue, but maybe that's just me. I may just live around a bunch of natural heads that are lazy or uncreative or something... erplexed I think it would be a GREAT idea to start a post of people's creative natural hairstyles. That may even convince more relaxed heads to go natural. I know personally I want more style choices besides afros, twists, braids, or straightened hair.

6. I like straightening natural hair for a change of pace and it tends to have more body than straightened relaxed hair and when I get tired of it, just wet it and it reverts right back (if I do not do a hard press which can ruin some of your natural curl and leave you with some straight pieces).

I think the body or fullness of the hair really depends on how thick one's hair is and not whether they are relaxed or natural.

7. It is safer to color natural hair vs. relaxed hair which is more prone to breakage.

Won't color break any type of hair if it is not taken care of properly? I really don't know the answer to this.

8. Who doesn't love the feel of wate ron their scalp daily if they choose? You can do it with relaxed hair but folks tend to do it more with natural hair.

As stated above, I often cowash my hair daily. I'm sure there are other relaxed heads that also do the same.

9. Braided out relaxed hair looks nothing like natural hair - to me. It looks like relaxed hair let out of braids with straight ends.

I guess to each his own. I have had natural ladies ask me before if I was natural when I have done braidouts on my hair. I guess I could post a pic of it whenever I do it the next time. Maybe it's just my hair, but it's really good at mimicking natural hair.

But either way - this is me sharing with you some of my experience and thought process for going natural. Now I have gone back and forth and relaxed after being natural and going natural again after being relaxed. I love the fact I have options and there are some "down" sides to being natural if you aren't prepared for the FACT you can't treat it like you do straight hair. Many of us never learned how to care for our natural hair and thusly get frustrated because it won't behave like we want. Many of us also get frustrated if we learn we have more kinky than curly hair and it doesn't lay down or curl up like we want.

It is all a growing process and I respect everyone for the choices they make.

I do appreciate you acknowledging that there are also downsides to being natural. It seems like most people want to ignore that side of the natural equation. I'm not bashing natural hair. Please don't think that. I just think that I should stand up for the relaxed heads! I don't regret being relaxed. But everyone should acknowledge that black hair can be beautiful AND healthy whether it's relaxed or not.

 

[CurleeDST]

feel free to check out my album to see some natural options. mind you i am not that creative but i have about 2 or 3 looks in there. if i were not so lazy i could do more but oh well.

for anyone else reading this - trust me wearing natural hair offers a plethora of options - my album is not the best example but there are other albums out there with awesome diy styles.

natural means more than afros and wng's and braids! either way if you choose to relax or go natural be informed, do your research and make the decision that is best for you and your lifestyle.

I do appreciate you acknowledging that there are also downsides to being natural. It seems like most people want to ignore that side of the natural equation. I'm not bashing natural hair. Please don't think that. I just think that I should stand up for the relaxed heads! I don't regret being relaxed. But everyone should acknowledge that black hair can be beautiful AND healthy whether it's relaxed or not.

 

[glamazon386]

feel free to check out my album to see some natural options. mind you i am not that creative but i have about 2 or 3 looks in there. if i were not so lazy i could do more but oh well.

for anyone else reading this - trust me wearing natural hair offers a plethora of options - my album is not the best example but there are other albums out there with awesome diy styles.

natural means more than afros and wng's and braids! either way if you choose to relax or go natural be informed, do your research and make the decision that is best for you and your lifestyle.

I agree with this totally!

 

[CurliDiva]

I surprised that so many voted that they want to go natural - I respect everyone right to wear their hair anyway they want, but now it seems more are realizing the being natural is a REAL option!

 

[Puddles]

I really want to go natural. But straight hair is my forte right now. If there was some way to achieve straight hair without all the heat then I would go natural in a heart beat. Because it would just be a waist of time going natural then straightening my hair everyday. I'd be bald!

This is exactly how I feel. I love wearing my hair straight.

When I was natural I wore a pony tail all the time . I was 19 the last time I had all natural hair. I got tired of always having to straighten my hair with a pressing comb.

Oh well......maybe one day when I'm much older.

 

[Lynnerie]

I surprised that so many voted that they want to go natural - I respect everyone right to wear their hair anyway they want, but now it seems more are realizing the being natural is a REAL option!

So true, and I'm glad this thread was started because it really opened my eyes as to what I wanna be. I was so concerned about how people at my job will react but its not even about that anymore. I'm tired of being relaxed. And when you know you are ready there will be no more wishing you could go natural. You'll just do it and nothing else will matter. Thats how I know this transition will be my last. I will be au naturel!

 

[LovetheLord]

I have given my husband every excuse I can think of to why I relax my hair when the real reasons are threefold:

1. I am ignorant of my hair in the natural state (what products, hairstyles, etc).
2. I am afraid of what others will think of me.
3. I am not sure if my natural hair will look attractive (I have gone to all the natural hair sites I can think of, I try to view AA women with natural hair as beautiful - yall its hard to see the beauty sometimes in all of our textures, but I am still trying. I feel like I have been brainwashed by society to see straight and slightly wavy hair as beautiful.)

I am going natural even though I have these fears, something seems to be pulling me in this direction so I feel like I need to go with the flow...after all, its just hair***don't shoot me***

 

[nuwoman02]

I was natural until about two weeks ago. Last June I decided to go natural after achieving my desired bra strap length. I was always curious about my natural texture. So I transitioned with braids for about one year and chopped the permed ends off in November of last year. I really enjoyed the experience of seeing my hair in its natural state. I assumed being natural would be easier for me in terms of maintenance. I thought I would just shake and go in the mornings. Boy was I wrong! I found myself getting up earlier and spending way more time doing my hair in the mornings and spending tons of money of different products. I prefer low maint hair styles That don't take up most of my time in the mornings (pony tail it and go!)
On the flip side I was not bothered by the stares or looks when I would wear my fro. I definately receive weird looks from some and looks of encouragement from others. Even though I decided to perm my hair back in the end. I really enjoyed the experience and know without a doubt that permed hair is easier for me. Being natural did not make me feel any more black than before.
Ironically, I would frequent natural web sites and for many it is not that deep. Many prefer to go natural because they like the look.
Lesson learned: I AM NOT MY HAIR!

 

[Ms_Twana]

I have given my husband every excuse I can think of to why I relax my hair when the real reasons are threefold:

1. I am ignorant of my hair in the natural state (what products, hairstyles, etc).
2. I am afraid of what others will think of me.
3. I am not sure if my natural hair will look attractive (I have gone to all the natural hair sites I can think of, I try to view AA women with natural hair as beautiful - yall its hard to see the beauty sometimes in all of our textures, but I am still trying. I feel like I have been brainwashed by society to see straight and slightly wavy hair as beautiful.)

I am going natural even though I have these fears, something seems to be pulling me in this direction so I feel like I need to go with the flow...after all, its just hair***don't shoot me***

Girl, your reasons are very common reasons. And a lot of naturals probably felt that way before they went natural. Just understand that this process is VERY MUCH a mental process as well as physical. Good luck!!!

 

[CurleeDST]

What Twana said!!! Some naturals can get radical with it and act all brand new as if they were always secure with their hair in its natural state but many if not most have been right here where you are. Do what is best for you cause in the end it's only hair.

Girl, your reasons are very common reasons. And a lot of naturals probably felt that way before they went natural. Just understand that this process is VERY MUCH a mental process as well as physical. Good luck!!!

 

[Evolving78]

I'm natural now and I'm really feeling good about the choice I made. I guess it is because I accept my texture the way it is and I'm not trying to make it something it's not. Meaning straightening it with heat or anthing else. If I was still stuck on wanting to keep my hair straight and not its real texture, then I would have some problems. Heat is very damaging and there is nothing more to it. This is just how I feel about it. What works for some may not work for others. I like the fact that I don't have to worry about my hair reverting, or getting a touchup, not getting it wet, sweating it out, using so many tools and products to keep it healthy, protective styling it to keep away from split ends, etc... Now I'm not saying the issues won't come up with natural hair, but it would mostly be like keeping it moisturized and tangle-free. I will still trim and wear a silk scarf though. When I was relaxed, there were styles that I stayed away from because it would be very damaging to relaxed hair. I feel like I have many styling options then I did with having relaxed hair. I like the fact that I don't look like the norm, that I stand out and I'm different. That's just me loving the way that I am.

 

[lala]

I don't wish I could go natural b/c if I wanted to I could . It's really not that complicated for me. I'm not in a debate with my hair currently, so my relaxed hair is just hair...doesn't matter whether it's relaxed or natural IMO...but that it's clean and well groomed.

I could be natural next year and wouldn't feel any differently about my hair or my ethnicity. I personally relaxed b/c the volume increases in my hair in it's natural state. I've never shared any of those pics b/c I look ridiculous with all that hair . My hair grows faster when it's natural and it doesn't tangle as much. But, I just don't want to have to spend a lot of time on my hair. When my hair was natural, I used to rollerset it and wear it curly like Tamara Dobson and it looked nice. But living in a humid climate means I have to spend more time with my hair.

I've never looked at relaxed hair products as some sort of addiction, and like it's my only hope of having long, beautiful hair, because I just don't look at it that way. My hair could be relaxed or natural, not a big deal...

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

Relaxers are CRACK right?
We want to stop getting them,
but we can't for whatever reasons
... is this the universal consensus?

I have no desire to go natural. I like to wear my hair straight and if I were to go natural the only way to do that would be to get it pressed and I don't miss sitting through that one bit.

 

[STLCoverGirl]

What Twana said!!! Some naturals can get radical with it and act all brand new as if they were always secure with their hair in its natural state but many if not most have been right here where you are. Do what is best for you cause in the end it's only hair.

This is very true. I agree 100%!!

 

[Syrah]

I don't get why folks act like black hair isn't an experiment and a work in progress.

I was relaxed for 15 years.
I went natural and have been for about 2 years.
I'll probably relax again one day.
And then go back to natural.
And then relax again.
And then go back to natural.

It's like hair colors - if I want a change, I get a change. When the change wears off, I get another change.

As far as the comments about Corporate America - I'm a consultant for Fortune 500 companies and have NEVER had a problem because of my natural hair. When asking questions about black hair and corporate america, it should be about relaxed vs natural - it should be about neat vs sloppy. If your hair is NEAT - whether it's locked, braided, relaxed, fro'ed, curled or shaved, you'll be ok. Sloppy hair is sloppy hair regardless of the texture and THAT is NOT OK in Corporate America.

 

[Syrah]

Natural hair does not necessarily equal healthy hair.
And relaxed hair does not necessarily equal unhealthy hair.

Hair still requires patience and understanding - and the texture of one's hair has NOTHING to do with health.

 

[Candy_C]

lol the never ending story


i think you should do what you want with your hair

just watch that scalp

scalps are for life

hair is not!

 

[Jazzy413]

I voted Natural, but I do love the ease of relaxed hair. Its been so long since Ive seen my hair in its natural state that I decided I would at least attempt to see if I could manage it and make it work....We'll see!​

 

[darkangel25]

I have decided that I am definitely going to go natural one day, but no time soon. I am so in love with my new growth, and then seeing all these naturals with beautiful hair makes me long to be natural.

 

[cocoberry10]

I’m with you. I really am trying to go natural, but I know it’s gonna get ugly (it’s already starting to). I don’t want to BC, so I will probably have to use braids and maybe even weave/wigs to achieve this. I am vowing not to relax for at least 1 year (next March-June will be one year)!

 

[sugaplum]

I voted yes because I'm already natural. I have been relaxed all my life and I really love my natural texture. The trippy part is I NEVER knew my natural hair looked like this.

 

[HoneyA]

I guess I could go back natural but not just yet. I'm liking this style...

 

[Eisani]

I texlax and that's as good as it gets. I was stretching 6 months in between but I'm shortening it to 13-15 weeks. I think I was scarred as a child and swore I'd never be natural if I had anything to do with it, but I don't like bone straight hair. As a kid I cried and sweated so much when I got my hair done that when the press was over my hair would already be reverting (I'm still tender headed). I may change my mind one day. If it weren't for my edges and the fact that I sweat in the scalp very easily, I may ditch it eventually. Perhaps if I move to a drier climate.

 

[mscocoface]

Natural all the way.....

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Natural hair does not necessarily equal healthy hair.
And relaxed hair does not necessarily equal unhealthy hair.

Hair still requires patience and understanding - and the texture of one's hair has NOTHING to do with health.

This is a very good point. I think alot of people have that misconception.

 

[realitychk]

Early last year I was one of those who said never. My hair is 4b and extremely thick and I didn't think it would be an option. I was wrong. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner when I was younger (I was 24).