Real Talk: Hair Confessions

[justsimply]

im in love with my hair right now.
i cant stop planning weeks ahead about what shampoo im going to use, what deep conditiioner im going to use.
while im at work im constantly thinking about going home to moisturize, seal and wrap my hair.
yesterday a spanish lady told me as i was walking by "ooooohhh nice hair lady". boy did that make my day.

im debating getting some phyto stuff seeing as how its so expensive.
i have my staples but i just cant stop buying stuff.

The bolded is soooo me. I can't commit to locing because I love this stage...not so short that I'm limited to 1 hair style, but not so long that it's a pain in the but. I'm already thinking about how I'm going to wear it to a Christmas party....

 

[chebaby]

i've decided to go to my hair dresser (havent been since september) to get a press and curl. shes the only person i let do my hair besides myself and i love that when she dusts my hair she DUSTS my hair lol. no cutting.

i may cancel lol.

 

[carib_n_curly]

i want purple hair or blue no not highlight the whole thing

i don't understnad when people say 6 weeks ng is a battle to deal with i can understand 14 or 12 but not 6 is that little amount of growth that hard to detangle with 2 texture but i've never relaxed ever and had to deal with 2 texture so i guess i will never understand so i will continue not to understand and try to

i want layers in fact i'm getting layers next year my hair grows naturally in layers. i love the shape it makes my hair when it's all fro-ed out

i also want to dye my hair honey brown, or chocolate brown, red , dark brown i'm so confused but i think i'm going to dye my hair a very light colour like honey brown and then use semi permanent colour so i can do all the colours of the rainbow and have it show up cause my hair is dark coloured naturally and no semi permanent colour is showing up on my head.

 

[Britt]

I'd love a head of 3b/c curls... or even just a head of all 3c hair.

 

[Fhrizzball]

*wants to join in*

-takes a deep breath-

1. I wanna relax my hair just to transition proper like everyone else
2. I'm only natural because I'm too lazy for relaxers
3. It's automatically assumed that if you're natural you can do hair really well. I hate that
4. I follow girls just to see their hair and then i try to sit by girls with nice hair just for something stare at when I'm bored
5. when will all these split ends stop? I never noticed them when I was relaxed.
6. i wish I knew about texlaxing earlier but now I feel it's too late
7. I hate my bangs I hate my layers I hate my nape
8. Detangling depresses me so I only fingercomb
9. why do I keep ending up with sucky hairstylists
10. I'm too traumatized to straighten my hair now even if the amount of heat damage is only noticeable to me

and that's only my top ten...

 

[Incognitus]

Sometimes I get so lazy and sidetracked that an overnight DC turns into a 2 day DC.
I wish my hair was 3B.
I snap off SSKs instead of going to get scissors.
It has been several years since I've used a comb to detangle my hair.

 

[RngdeCurls]

*exhales*

I've always wanted to be a heat-less natural but only got the courage up when it started to become more popular.

I want my hair to grow longer than my cousin's. Her hair has been longer than mine our whole lives.

I wish my S/O would touch my hair more. He has 3c curls and I play in his hair all the time but I feel like he's afraid of my kinkier texture.

If my S/O and I have children, I'd want them to have my 4a coils and not his 3c curls. I think 3c hair is gorgeous, but I have no experience dealing with it and in my family it comes with a superiority complex.

I'm thinking about sealing with Crisco because I read about it in an old thread.

I wish I had a gal-pal who was natural. When my girlfriends talk about $100 bundles, I feel left out.

Whew! This thread is gritty gritty!

 

[Lilmama1011]

I think i seriously have OCD about my hair. Anything i do it revolves around my hair. I want to keeping scarf on when washing dishes because hot water might frizz my hair, when i "color" im thinking about my hair being on something satin or silk like a pillow cover because scarves are not cute while "coloring". I dont like the window down In the car because it blows my hair around. I examine all hairs that come out to make sure it's only shedded hair. Started to over trim because my back grew back almost fully and keep trying to even it out(i promised myself i will trim in six months we will see because I trimmed twice in a month!) I am constantly looking at YouTube videos at stuff i know already because I'm knowledgeable just about with anything about hair! I feel like when i talk to my mom, sis and best friend about hair i feel like i bore them and just have to shut up because i can go on and on about hair and tips. Diagnose me ladies! I have OCD don't I?

 

[kupenda]

Im lazy as hayle when it comes to my hair. I dont do anything consistently. I wash it weekly. And anything else that happens is spur of the moment.

Im super excited to get my hair straightened. I dont care if it screws with my curl pattern etc. I just wanna see my length. And I dont wanna have to detangle.

I dont use shears to remove ssk's. I either ignore them or pull them out with my nails. No regrets

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I wish my hair was just a little less thick. Even though its shoulder length I can barely put it in a ponytail unless its blow dried straight!

This. I'm meeting a friend tomorrow for lunch and i wanted to put my hair in a bun. It laughed at me and my pathetic tiny hairband

I'm worried that because i protective style alot of the time and its been so effective at thickening my hair up, as it gets longer and thicker i wont be able to look after it properly and i'll end up back to eaten up, chewed up hair

I hate hair-know-it-alls. There's more than one right answer to healthy hair

I force my bf to massage my scalp. he hates the feeling of oily fingers. but I DO NOT CARE. It feels soooooo gooooooood. he knows that if he doesnt do it, i'll find someone who will

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth when my sisters tell me about my hair. I'd rather it was broken and split to my scalp through my own mistreatment than to have it break due to someone elses bad advice. If i destroy it i only have myself blame.

I love going over which products im going to buy and how i'm going to use them.

I spend spare time coming up with a grand unifying hair theory. Its silly, but i love it

I attract more lint than the average person. I swear down. Its ridiculous.

I'm my own hair porn. I truly believe that my hair is the best hair for me. When i first started this hair journey, i'd covet any healthy hair, now i'm more patient

I think full apl would be more than enough hair for me. I say that now as a shoulder length 4b natural

 

[naija24]

real talk?

I hate long hair. Especially on me. I think it makes me look generic and bland. I like standing out and I think short hair is best on me. Full, thick and straight SL would be ideal.

I only came to LHCF for healthy hair practices.

I would only be natural if I used heat regularly.

It's not a "Big Chop" if you've been transitioning for 2-3 years. By then, you're natural in my book.

I think product junkies are weird and silly but I respect yall.

I can't stand militant natural loving black women. Congrats, you're natural. It's just hair. It's not that serious.

I can't stand weave. I tolerate braids.

I'm really lazy with my hair. I respect the ladies that spend 3-4 hours a weekend washing their hair and doing protective styles. If I spend more than 1 hour doing ANYTHING regarding my appearance, I get seriously annoyed.

 

[Ogoma]

I am so in love with my hair, I want to make love to it

 

[LivingInPeace]

My confessions:
I love that I get compliments on my natural hair almost every day, even though it's usually in a bun.
My hair is APL now which is longer than it's ever been but it still feels short to me.
Whenever I go to the drugstore I walk the hair care aisle, just to look.
I love when people ask me for hair advice.
I can't stop touching my hair.
When my mother told me I should straighten my hair so I could show it off I grinned like an idiot inside.

 

[brownb83]

I love my rollerset hair. I get asked quite a bit if it's weave and it makes me sad.

 

[leiah]

I don't like my hair type. Even though i used to relax, i don't feel like it matters that im natural.

 

[softblackcotton]

Its no secret on this forum. I've posted about my big secret a couple of times before. I've been dealing with trichotillomania consistently for the past 7 years. For those who don't want to google its the obsessive compulsive disorder one has to pull out their own body hair. it could be from anywhere on the body. I have been pulling from my scalp for 7 years now and I really wish I could stop completely. You ask the why don't you just stop?! Don't you want long hair?! I really do. but its like a terrible habit like drugs like smoking. Right now I have nearly bald spots that about 3-4 inches in diameter on the left and right sides of my head. It's like I'm missing 15% of my hair. I thank God my hair is thick enough to keep the bald spots covered though. I can only wear certain styles, no styles like cornrows or Bantu knots though. I hardly let anyone do my hair, when they do I just say something vague like "I've been having some breakage." It's my biggest shameful secret.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

Its no secret on this forum. I've posted about my big secret a couple of times before. I've been dealing with trichotillomania consistently for the past 7 years. For those who don't want to google its the obsessive compulsive disorder one has to pull out their own body hair. it could be from anywhere on the body. I have been pulling from my scalp for 7 years now and I really wish I could stop completely. You ask the why don't you just stop?! Don't you want long hair?! I really do. but its like a terrible habit like drugs like smoking. Right now I have nearly bald spots that about 3-4 inches in diameter on the left and right sides of my head. It's like I'm missing 15% of my hair. I thank God my hair is thick enough to keep the bald spots covered though. I can only wear certain styles, no styles like cornrows or Bantu knots though. I hardly let anyone do my hair, when they do I just say something vague like "I've been having some breakage." It's my biggest shameful secret.

Shouldn't the pain alone make you stop? *ouch*

 

[Saludable84]

Deleted Post

 

[Fuu]

Its no secret on this forum. I've posted about my big secret a couple of times before. I've been dealing with trichotillomania consistently for the past 7 years. For those who don't want to google its the obsessive compulsive disorder one has to pull out their own body hair. it could be from anywhere on the body. I have been pulling from my scalp for 7 years now and I really wish I could stop completely. You ask the why don't you just stop?! Don't you want long hair?! I really do. but its like a terrible habit like drugs like smoking. Right now I have nearly bald spots that about 3-4 inches in diameter on the left and right sides of my head. It's like I'm missing 15% of my hair. I thank God my hair is thick enough to keep the bald spots covered though. I can only wear certain styles, no styles like cornrows or Bantu knots though. I hardly let anyone do my hair, when they do I just say something vague like "I've been having some breakage." It's my biggest shameful secret.

Thank you for sharing~ You just gave me that final push to de-lurk and pay my $6.50.

I've read extensively about this because I also suffer from it. I've been searching and searching for a way to stop for years! It started for me back in 2001. I've read that the severity varies from person to person.

It seems that the only options so far are; medication, support groups, or Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

 

[softblackcotton]

Shouldn't the pain alone make you stop? *ouch*

It's not painful at all. It's hard to explain but it actually feels good and relaxes me somehow. I sought professional help three years ago, but it didn't really work.

 

[softblackcotton]

Thank you for sharing~ You just gave me that final push to de-lurk and pay my $6.50.

I've read extensively about this because I also suffer from it. I've been searching and searching for a way to stop for years! It started for me back in 2001. I've read that the severity varies from person to person.

It seems that the only options so far are; medication, support groups, or Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

Yay! Congrats on joining! :happy: Its always good to find another person who really understands trich. If you do a thread search there are many other posters who suffer on this forum. My first bout actually started when I was 8 years old then had huge break, another short bout at 16, 6 year break, and then now on my longest bout that started since I was 21 and I'm now 28. I actually tried cognitive-behavioral therapy 3 years ago but it only worked during treatment. The only thing that had allowed me a little break here and there is wearing braid extensions but as soon as I take them out what little growth I achieve I eventually yank it back out so its not a permanent solution. I haven't had braid extension since last November and now I am too ashamed to go to braider now that the bald spots are worst.

 

[Fuu]

Yay! Congrats on joining! :happy: Its always good to find another person who really understands trich. If you do a thread search there are many other posters who suffer on this forum. My first bout actually started when I was 8 years old then had huge break, another short bout at 16, 6 year break, and then now on my longest bout that started since I was 21 and I'm now 28. I actually tried cognitive-behavioral therapy 3 years ago but it only worked during treatment. The only thing that had allowed me little break here and three is wearing braid extensions but as soon as I take them out what little growth I achieve I eventually yank it back out. I haven't had braid extension since last November and now I am too ashamed to go to braider now that the bald spots are worst.

I'm sorry to hear that it never worked. I never told anybody about it before. I've never been to any kind if therapy or anything. I've never had a break from it since it started. I've managed to stop pulling the hairs from my head though by somehow compensating with pulling more from other areas. I completely understand the feel associated with doing it. It's an almost irritating feeling to try to not do it. I get agitated.

P.S~ Sorry if my thoughts seem a bit all over the place. I'm not good at articulating.

 

[SmilingElephant]

I wish i had real life 3c/3b friends. I feel alone in the Real Life natural world. Every single natural i know in real life has 4a/4b hair and they either treat me like an ****** unicorn or give me the rudest attitude.

I used to try not to get into hair typing....but in real life I've been so "othered" its like...like im not welcome amongst type 4 naturals.

I almost feel like i should flipping apologize to them for having loose curls. Im ****** sorry that not all of my curls are the size of pen springs and coffee stirrers! Yes the majority of my curls are the size of pencils and sharpies.

I feel left out often...i love talking hair...but i notice there's a real sisterhood amongst type 4 naturals and i don't have that experience if i enter the conversation or am part of it...Type 4s are adamant about telling me what i should/could do to my hair bc i have "that type of hair"...or they want to see it straightened. Or they will just I don't tell them what to do and oftentimes i give a compliment.

Another thing that grinds my ****** gears about being a type 3 natural...is that ive seen numerous times ppl throwing shade bc a type 3 acknowledges this crap and says something about it....its real outchere! Its even hard to find t shirts that celebrate curly hair. I have only seen about 4 shirts i like amongst the THOUSANDS of shirts and accessories made to celebrate fros and kinky hair.

I guess im just frustrated bc i don't know any other Black women in real life with 3b/3c hair. All i relate to are the few i find on Youtube. Nobody in my family has hair like mine either. I was even thinking of trying to form a FB group or something.

I know the saying is "it wouldn't be an issue if you didn't make it one"...but i didn't.. its just things I've noticed as my hair gets longer. Once again in life im an outcast.

 

[nissi]

SmilingElephant, naturallycurly.com has the CurlTalk discussion forum broken down by curl types. Best wishes!

 

[Killahkurlz]

I wish i had real life 3c/3b friends. I feel alone in the Real Life natural world. Every single natural i know in real life has 4a/4b hair and they either treat me like an ****** unicorn or give me the rudest attitude.

I used to try not to get into hair typing....but in real life I've been so "othered" its like...like im not welcome amongst type 4 naturals.

I almost feel like i should flipping apologize to them for having loose curls. Im ****** sorry that not all of my curls are the size of pen springs and coffee stirrers! Yes the majority of my curls are the size of pencils and sharpies.

I feel left out often...i love talking hair...but i notice there's a real sisterhood amongst type 4 naturals and i don't have that experience if i enter the conversation or am part of it...Type 4s are adamant about telling me what i should/could do to my hair bc i have "that type of hair"...or they want to see it straightened. Or they will just I don't tell them what to do and oftentimes i give a compliment.

Another thing that grinds my ****** gears about being a type 3 natural...is that ive seen numerous times ppl throwing shade bc a type 3 acknowledges this crap and says something about it....its real outchere! Its even hard to find t shirts that celebrate curly hair. I have only seen about 4 shirts i like amongst the THOUSANDS of shirts and accessories made to celebrate fros and kinky hair.

I guess im just frustrated bc i don't know any other Black women in real life with 3b/3c hair. All i relate to are the few i find on Youtube. Nobody in my family has hair like mine either. I was even thinking of trying to form a FB group or something.

I know the saying is "it wouldn't be an issue if you didn't make it one"...but i didn't.. its just things I've noticed as my hair gets longer. Once again in life im an outcast.

Which city do u live n?

 

[Killahkurlz]

I think i agree with the bold part. Then again, i never liked getting relaxers!! I just hated how it burns my scalp and my hair would look so thin.

Ditto. And then when ur hair starts growing, the roots stop.the length from swinging freely. I HATED that. Id rather have all my hair 1 texture, all the time.

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

I wear long straight sew-ins only because my boyfriend is white. I actually hate sew-ins and prefer my own hair.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Which city do u live n?

I live on the South side of Orlando.

Idk where the other 3s are hiding.... The only other type 3s i DO see are Hispanic women...but they have that fine/silky type 3 hair...mine is coarse 3c...Medium, even. It doesn't shine like the typical type 3 hair you think of...it has sheen but it doesn't shine and its not fine....for the most part.

There was only ONE other girl at my job that had my kind of hair...but she was kind of stuck up (well, that was my vibe from her...i could be wrong) and i never really spoke to her...she doesn't work there anymore.


Also....am i wrong for feeling like im in a petting zoo? I HATE when my coworkers boing my curls or feel the need to touch my hair. I think type 4 hair is amazing and when i first went natural i thought i would be a type 4 In fact i am in LOVE with the Type 4 curl pattern that is at my nape..you can't really see it though unless i lift my hair up...but even though i find it beautiful...i don't just feel the need to touch ppls hair. And they always catch me off guard! I almost popped this one girl in the nose because she scared me when she pulled on my hair!

Idk...im just frustrated...and sleep deprived....and stressed. Happy Friday all

 

[kandiekj100]

If I had a daughter I'd want her to have 4b hair just so that I take care of it and show my family that you don't need my 4a hair or, "good hair" as they all call it, in order to have long healthy hair. Bad part however, is probably no matter how different are hair is I still would hear oh she has your hair, no wonder it's long.

Also my younger son had 3c/4a hair and everyone fawned over a little too much. I hate they to think of everyone paying so my attention my girl's hair and somehow thinking she's better than the other little girls in our family just b/c of the hair. I hated how people treated my younger son versus my older son, strictly b/c of the hair differences. My older son actually has a slight complex about it. I have to contstantly tell him that I love his hair type, but I'm just his mom, ya know. I gotta say those things.

I still get compliments on my hair that make me uncomfortable. I think its one thing to compliment one's hairstyle or something, but when I'm around certain family I'm made to feel like some anomaly.

And it just grinds my gears that no matter how well I take care of my hair, my good hair practices will NEVER be the reason I have long hair. Never mind that I don't use heat very often. Never mind that I co-wash or do put a leave-in conditioner in my hair often. Never mind that a deep condition. Never mind that I protective style. Never mind that I stretch my relaxer. I will only have reached BSL/MBL (hopefully by the of the year) b/c of my hair type. I've never been that length in my adult life at all.

Oh yea, and I'm not really allowed to complain about my hair. Because obviously my hair doesn't have issues with dryness, tangles and naps. Just to all of it.

 

[Saludable84]

I wear long straight sew-ins only because my boyfriend is white. I actually hate sew-ins and prefer my own hair.

I actually use to kill my poor head relaxing bone straight and blowing my poor roots for this reason alone. My husband is super light Dominican (he doesn't even look Spanish). One day I told him its a struggle because I keep my hair straight because I know that's what he grew up with. I also told him that's why I was obsessed for having long hair. Bad assumption on my part because then he confessed he'd prefer my hair short and natural; that I should be lucky to have textured hair that's versatile and not straight long and dead.

I'm texlaxed now, and the added texture allows me to wear twist outs better. He doesn't care for my hair straight, usually request for it in styles that are not straight.

I'm not sure if you asked you S/O about this, but you'd be surprised what they think half the time.

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together