For those who say they went natural because...

[Aviah]

They were done with trying to conform with European/Western/Mainstream standards of beauty, do you do so in other ways?

Sounds like a stupid question I'm sure, but how does one reconcile the two?
We dress like Westerners, and shave our legs etc... Unless these are not exclusively Western things- do educate me.

(Honest question)

 

[Meritamen]

Mmmm how to answer this without starting a riot... I think it is kinda hard to totally break free from European beauty standards esp. if you live in America. I mean who else were we going to copy after the end of slavery?
Mmmm I shave because I hate body hair not becaus of what white folks are doing. I just really really don't like body hair.
Please don't hurt me. *runs out of thread*

 

[Aviah]

Mmmm how to answer this without starting a riot... I think it is kinda hard to totally break free from European beauty standards esp. if you live in America. I mean who else were we going to copy after the end of slavery?
Mmmm I shave because I hate body hair not becaus of what white folks are doing. I just really really don't like body hair.
Please don't hurt me. *runs out of thread*

That's what I thought, Western Beauty is so much more than just hair, but it seems so many women follow it in other ways. Girl I shave too! I completely understand having our hair natural as a way of emphasizing our own unique beauty, but rocking a fro doesn't mean you're done with commercial beauty, know what I mean?

 

[moore.1506]

Interesting question. I didn't go natural for that reason perse but i started to feel like my hair doesn't come out straight so whats wrong with the way it comes out? Then I decided to go natural. I guese I feel like i'm black and that's how our hair is meant to look. But I also feel like im an American (didn't feel the connection truly untill I went overseas now i feel it so deeply) so I follow American beauty standards ie clothing, hygiene etc.

Idk tho, really interesting question...

 

[Meritamen]

That's what I thought, Western Beauty is so much more than just hair, but it seems so many women follow it in other ways. Girl I shave too! I completely understand having our hair natural as a way of emphasizing our own unique beauty, but rocking a fro doesn't mean you're done with commercial beauty, know what I mean?

I think so but it's something I hadn't thought much about before. I do wonder why we do things, desire a certain look and such so it is an interesting question.

 

[Aviah]

I agree with the notion that there was really no one else to follow after slavery. It obviously had taken a toll on those people who were divided by complexion, hair type, facial features, etc. After going through such degradation, and many being born and dying in that culture, it wasn't going to change just because they were free. Inevitably we will assimilate. However I think Western standards of beauty should reflect the people living there, of all races and celebrate the diversity is has. Maybe it would be better to aspire to show our uniqueness in terms of hair as a start and allow the mainstream to pick up on it- not say we are done with it because really we are not.
JMO

And my reason for going natural had nothing more to it than me being bored with straight hair, and thinking natural hair was beautiful.

 

[FarrahJane]

Interesting question. I didn't go natural for that reason perse but i started to feel like my hair doesn't come out straight so whats wrong with the way it comes out? Then I decided to go natural. I guese I feel like i'm black and that's how our hair is meant to look. But I also feel like im an American (didn't feel the connection truly untill I went overseas now i feel it so deeply) so I follow American beauty standards ie clothing, hygiene etc.

Idk tho, really interesting question...

ITA with what you're saying. This is the message I want to instill in my sister, that her natural hair is beautiful in its natural state. And does not need to be straightened to be considered pretty.

 

[moore.1506]

ITA with what you're saying. This is the message I want to instill in my sister, that her natural hair is beautiful in its natural state. And does not need to be straightened to be considered pretty.

Thats a good idea its better to try to get her to understand it now while she's young then trying to deal with those issues as an adult.

 

[DarkVictory]

Never thought about this, but your question made me realize it has to do with it being the head and the face. My face has an African look and to me it looks better with African-looking hair. To say a woman MUST have straight hair to look pretty is IMO like saying everybody MUST wear a certain cut of jeans. Some aspects of beauty are based on making the best of what you have rather than trying to turn it into what looks good on someone else.

Shaving and hygiene are about feel and scent rather than appearance.

 

[ellebelle88]

I guess at the back of my mind, one of the main reasons I am transitioning is because I felt I was being dishonest about who I am. But the MAIN reason I went natural is because relaxers do a number on my hair with all the burning. I started FEARING having to get a relaxer. Plus, I travel a lot and it became aggravating having to always locate a trustworthy stylist. I saw so many women with beautiful natural hair that I decided I wanted to transition and learn how to take care of my hair.

I say all of that to say this...yes, I do conform to many other European standards of beauty. I'm a product of my society. But I am learning more and more each day to accept and be appreciative of the things about me which doesn't necessarily fit into a European ideal. I think that this self-discovery is ultimately a process...a maturing one at that.

 

[LovinLea]

When I went natural, everyone started calling me Erykah and expected my whole sense of style to change to something a little more...afrocentric. To be honest, it ain't that deep for me. My hair changed; my personality didn't. I know that I can't chase the Western beauty ideals simply because I will NEVER look like that.

 

[CrownCola]

Good question. I didn't used to know where to draw that line. I realized that it takes a good amount of effort to "decide" why you do the things you do. In an effort to be "true" to myself (as a teen), I found myself switching and abandoning practices/ideas that I preferred (or found more convenient), just because of their origin/nature. These days I live by, "Do what works for you..."
But I still feel the same way about the "definition" of beauty not being as inclusive of the Afro textured.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[pjbapb]

I went natural on a whim. I had done it in the past and not really realized what I was doing but this last time, I realized that there was a way to care for my hair in it's coily kinky state and I just went for it. It dawned on me on a Wednesday morning and I cut it all off on Friday. I did it because I like the way my natural hair looks better than when it is straight. I think that is the reason why it is so easy for me not to relax. I have yet to feel that sort of frustration with my hair.

As far as conforming to someone else's standard of beauty, well I am just trying to like the way that I look. I find that the happier I feel about the way I look, the more other people like the way I look. I am an American and I have the easiest access to American type products and influences. Of course I am going to look western in terms of beauty but I only want to look like ME. Not anyone else so I don't think that I am conforming, I think I am evolving.

 

[yods]

It is an interesting question actually. For me it is about not permanently changing parts of myself that are inherent in my ethnicity i.e. most women get rid of some body hair or wear makeup and jewellery but most women don't change their hair texture or other racial features. I think that women have always done things to show they are women in some type of way iyswim so I won't feel guilty over the things I want to do as long as it isn't harming me or anyone else.

I genuinely love the look of kinky hair so it wasn't like I was forcing myself to go natural out of principle anyway.

 

[Damaged but not out]

Hair removal is actually not a Western/European standard of beauty. It's an Eastern cultural sensibility.

 

[10WordzOrLess]

I don't think one is mutually exclusive to the other, so the point is moot to me.

Just because someone relaxes their hair, doesn't mean they shave their legs. Just because someone has an afro, doesn't mean they aren't taking care of it with chemical-laden products. I don't believe a woman can't moisturize her relaxed hair with all-natural shea butter, nor do I believe I can't wear eye-shadow.

That's the beauty of living in a country with such a diverse culture. I can reject what I don't like and accept another. If I don't appreciate one aspect of Western beauty for myself, it doesn't mean I can't adopt another part of it to suit me. Just means I don't like that particular part and choose not to indulge.

My hair is Afro-Textured, my jeans are European, and the flats on my feet are Asian inspired. All combined to make a unique "me".

 

[discodumpling]

In my heart in my soul in my spirit & in my very being...I was, am & will always be African. Even before I went natural
I definitely felt more like the me i'm supposed to be though.


I shave when I want to & have never really attached a European sensibility to it...i've been shaving since I was 8 yrs old! LOL!

Yeah, i'm also one of those folks who don't feel EVERYbody is trying to achieve the European ideal with weaves, str8 hair etc...I try really hard not to come up with my own reasons for WHY folks do what they do...the reasons are as many as there are human beings. Self hatred & ignorance are just a couple of reasons...

 

[ms-gg]

In our community, well my community, I see you are from London, this hair thing runs deep. Nappy hair is bad, straight hair=great. Or if you have that "gud hur" and you don't need a perm, even better. Breaking away from the relaxer, from the hot combs, from the flat irons, from all of that is indeed shaking off a big shackle from off your foot. What, 85% of black women wear their hair straightened, millions of women of other races do too....you can't tell me that going natural, wearing your hair in it's unaltered state is not going against the grain in a big way.

Sure you can stop shaving your legs, underarms and let your boobs flop around. But imo, wearing your hair nappy, natural or whatever term you want to use is a very big slap in the face of the standard of beauty just because of the history of our hair in the last 400 years...

 

[ProtectiveStyling]

I think its crazy that some women go natural to get away from the European culture. Going natural should be done as a form of embracing one's own beauty w/out chemicals. relaxers for the hair is kinda like plastic surgery for the face or body. some people just want to make themselves look better. we all kno hair type doesnt have anything to do w/ race or culture! i kno plenty of whites w/ thick curly hair and i have black family members w/ straight long sleek natural hair! hair type aint got nothing to do w/ culture in America. If u are an AMERICAN, this is your culture, not that of Africa or Europe. The way you dress && what u eat! Whites & blacks & asians & mexicans, ect. in America share this NEW culture. When the last time u done seen a white person dress like they live in Britian/ Europe?? or eat the same food?? im just saying... the American culture is a mixture of everything. any race living in America is way different from their orgins! & going natural shoudlnt have anything to do w/ getting away from European Culture!

 

[Simply_elle]

Western standards of beauty???

Well I'm a westerner myself... European?? Uh most of my Euro buddies don't shave, wax, fluff nearly as much as us Americans. And find us silly for doing so... I went natural because I was tired of limp straight hair. Thats it. I was worried about conforming... Let me tell you my white friends and co workers LOVE my hair...ever since the BC till my fluffy TWA they compliment me almost everyday! (yes i'm getting a big head) I would say the things we do are a mixture of cultures...The eyebrow threading...primarily a Indian/ Middle eastern thing... Sugaring N African/ again middle eastern... Obsessive skin care..Japanese and Scandinavian... So Beauty is worldwide... And let me tell you the (yt folk) lip plumping..and tanning..and booty padding, isn't making them look more...you get it Lol... I think we all inspire each other... Seems Whites and Blacks have a obsession over straight hair... Good question OP

 

[FarrahJane]

Thats a good idea its better to try to get her to understand it now while she's young then trying to deal with those issues as an adult.

Thanks... I was hoping I was doing the right thing. Now that she's 10 y.o., and wanting to wear her down, I make sure that she does not focus too much on my straight hair. I'll put my hair in a bun so she can't play in my hair. And then I'll began to talk about all the things she can do with her pretty coily hair.
I never, ever want her to have a complex about the differences in our hair textures.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

OP, didnt you know?

EVERYTHING is symbolized by your hair. DUH!!!!!!!

If you are natural you are back to Africa. If you are relaxed, you wanna be Savannah Ann Turner.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Yeah, I guess I just want to be me. I'm in my thirties now; so, I'm tired of playing the "I just want to be liked according to someone else's standards" game. The relaxing took a toll on my hair. So, I wanted to put an end to it.

 

[Carrie A]

I was really most "concious" about my hair, which the majority of the time is worn unstraightened. I don't dye my hair. My style of dress is western. As for shaving, I'm probably more in line with Europeans then Americans.

I like a fit body type but don't go overboard with thinness. I don't minimize features like full lips, nose, and small eyes.

What are some of the other standards?

 

[nikolite]

Interesting question. I didn't go natural for that reason perse but i started to feel like my hair doesn't come out straight so whats wrong with the way it comes out? Then I decided to go natural. I guese I feel like i'm black and that's how our hair is meant to look. But I also feel like im an American (didn't feel the connection truly untill I went overseas now i feel it so deeply) so I follow American beauty standards ie clothing, hygiene etc.

Idk tho, really interesting question...

I totally agree.

But going natural for me wasn't so much about not trying to do what white people do as excepting a naturally black aspect of myself. All women are expected to shave their legs, wear dresses and lipstick. Relaxing isn't a Western beauty practice. ONLY BLACK women are expected to change the fundamental make up of something about themselves to conform. Its strictly a standard placed on US. So going natural for me was a reaction against the negation of black hair rather than a reaction against white beauty standards. Rejecting an aspect that is UNIQUE to a person/group/race seems doubly oppressive IMO.

Thus I still don't mind straightening my hair from time to time and would like for it to fall below my shoulder blades someday. That's a Western style choices but it wouldn't be a style choice if I am expected, pressured, forced to always have my hair like that and never show my true texture because society deems it as "bad." I hope that makes sense.

And I rarely shave my legs but only begrudgingly do so to conform when wearing skirts in public. I think its oppressive to women in general to be pressured to do so or deemed unfeminine, just like I find it problematic that black women are pressured to relax their hair. Shaving isn't a style choice or fashionable because you HAVE TO shave or else.

 

[ms-gg]

relaxers for the hair is kinda like plastic surgery for the face or body. some people just want to make themselves look better.

Oh okay