When you no longer LIKE your "natural look"...WDYD?

[Aggie]

You know I would recommend that you go ahead with straightening first as well because that way, you can decide by how it looks to you straight, whether or not you should go ahead and relax it. I know sometimes if it doesn't look as thick and healthy when straightened with a hot comb, chances are it will look the same way with a relaxer. This way you won't make a decision that you will later regret.

On the other hand, if this should happen, you can choose to texlax it as opposed to going bone-straight with the relaxer to have some texture left in your hair. Good luck with your decision

 

[Carrie A]

Also maybe try a product like Sabino to protect from the humidity and make your flat iron job last. You can give a review if it works for you

 

[curlyninjagirl]

Hey OP,

I felt the way you're feeling early on after I became a natural. But I was in a catch 22 because there was no way I was gonna touch them chemicals again. But I sure did miss the straight hair.

So when I was sick of lookin' at my own hair I just braided it up in some micros. It was the best of both worlds! I didn't have to bother with my newly complicated locks and I also didn't have to give up being natural. And the bonus was I could also have silky hair swingin' down my back LOL. I rocked those micros hard! For a long time. And then I actually missed my natural hair!!

 

[Eclass215]

Hey Zee - my suggestion would also be to straighten it, even in the FL humidity. It may not look the same as a relaxed look (especially in the summer) but this way you can have the option of going back to your natural look whenever you want. Trust me, once your natural hair keeps getting longer, the options just keep growing and you may fall in love all over again....or not, lol - either way I say hold off for a little bot longer if you can. Good luck and congrats on the baby!!

 

[Naturel]

The ladies gave you good advices. Flat iron your hair and wear it straight. I felt the same way a month ago when I straightened my hair, I was like wow! This makes me look better. However, I know that no matter what relaxers are not worth it for me. I learned the hard way. I am in braids now in order to take my mind off of my hair. You can straighten your hair wiht a flat iron and go back to your natural hair anytime you want; with a relaxer you can't do that!

 

[UrbainChic]

I think you should BKT. It seems to work for alot of naturals

OT: June 08 siggy pic- how did you get your hair in that style? I love it and I would so love to do my relaxed hair like that

LOL thanks for the BTK advise, but I'm not ready even for that. I only cowash most of the time so I'm afraid it wouldnt wash out fast enough, and I have poor curl definition at the top of my head, I just envision limp wavy disaster..... But I know better than to say never, I just might try it one day

I am really happy with my hair the way it is, I think I always was, but a little boredom + pressure from family lead to relaxing followed immediately by regret and then BCs. None of them suggest relaxing to me anymore, they're afraid I'll cut all my hair off again lol.

As for June 08, That was just using Terri's method with conditioner and just finger styling. I would suggest with relaxed hair to maybe try small flexirods or maybe bantu knots and see how that works?


@ the OP, ZeeOl'Lady

It sounds as though maybe texlaxing might be something you are interested in?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I'm wondering...is there something else in your life going on right now?



ETA: Nevermind....I read the entire thread.

 

[swimfan09]

Do you happen to have a hair salon near you that does natural styles? Since you are in Florida, maybe you can treat yourself to a weekend trip to Miami or Ft. Lauderdale, or Gainsville - I don't live in a very big city, but there is a salon in my town that specializes in natural hair. If you don't have a natural hair salon in your town, I sure they have ones in places like Miami. Perhaps they can give you some other style/braids/ looks for your natural hair to "shake things up a bit".


Of course, if you go to a salon at this time, I would make SURE that it ONLY does natural styles. ITA that you should wait until after you baby comes to make the choice of relaxing. In the mean time

*explore other natural styles
* flat iron your hair

If after giving yourself time and trying all the other options, you still want to relax, then go for it.

 

[acapnleo]

ZeeOl'Lady- DO IT!

Pregnant or not, I understand... See, I transitioned to natural and loved it... until I reached a point where relaxing became appealing to me, again. (I held out for a little over 2 years)

I went back and forth... but the urge to relax became stronger.
With relaxed hair, my hair had sense... It minded (if that makes sense ) Also, I figured with all that I know and have learned, I wanted to see how much growth I could retain without tangles and the difficulty of detangling, or fighting with humidity... I further reasoned that if I want to wash n go, I could scrunch for curls...

If it doesn't work out... Hey.. transition back to natural....

Now, I have a different countdown... how long can I "stretch" til my next relaxer

Guess I am being a bad example, but do what makes you happy... Live in the now

(I shall go back and read the thread now Typically, I do that first... or even just lurk)

 

[southerncitygirl]

hide your hair till the end of summer maybe try:
wig
weave
half wig
individual braids
cornrows


after this if you still feel the same, i would recommend texlaxing so you still have the best of both worlds.

 

[Netta1]

Yes it is normal to get bored... if your feelings to go natural were not that deep in the first place then select the hair choice that you want.

Back in the day when I wanted to change things up I wore a wig of some sort...

 

[Tanji]

I know how you feel. I am transistioning and this weekend, if someone had come near me with a jar of relaxer, I would have been tempted to relax. It was hot and my hair was shrinking up like crazy!

Then today I washed and conditioned my hair with it in eight braids, and my natural hair felt so soft and beautiful again. I definitely would have regretted getting it relaxed.

If you can, try to hold out until the summer is over. It's a tough time right now. Eventually, if you decide to relax, just make sure that you have someone who is experienced apply it -- that is if you decide to.

I stopped relaxing because I was tired of my hair breaking off so easily. I was getting it done at a salon on a regular basis, but felt like my hairdresser was not listening to my needs and was more into what she wanted me to look like.l

Good luck. It will work out either way.

 

[Mystic]

Do not relax bone straight; you will regret it.

 

[MonPetite]

Texlaxing LIGHTLY may give you the best of both worlds. You can still have an afro (if done carefully, I had a big texlaxed fro for two years) and easily obtain a sleek look. If after a year you really just want that bone-strait look you can go straighter. Transitioning from a slightly looser texture is much easier than transitioning from bone-laxed.

 

[brucebettye]

I say do you. I am texlaxed and seriously thinking about transitioning to natural. I am over 6 months post and have no plans of relaxing anytime soon. You can always relax and go back natural later on. As long as you have healthy hair and are happy that is all that matters. I do agree with other posters about only texlaxing because it is very easy for me to transition back to natural.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

"When you no longer LIKE your "natural look"...WDYD?"

RELAX...

 

[Yen Oak]

What did you decide, Zee Ol Lady?

 

[jada1111]

Okay, so here's the cap:
-Natural 8 months
-Hair very healthy
-Usually wear hair in wash and go's, twists, twistouts, and puffs
-4a with some 4b
-Hair is SL when stretched but looks like a TWA when shrunken


I am feeling OVER IT...like, I no longer LIKE the"look"/afro-like hair
I miss the LOOK of relaxed hair..it made ME look better IMO..

I don't think that that relaxed hair looks better on everyone, just ME.
I m feeling very blah and the newness of my hair has wore off.
I want to rellllllllax.
No one supported me through my transition, now, my SO, sister, cousins, etc say that I would be stupid to relax (all their words). They looove my hair, I don't.
I saw a friend had went ahead and relaxed (we BC'd the same day) and I am so envious.

Is this normal?
What should I do?
*wigs are out of the question, I hate them and so are weaves*


Please keep an open mind with this thread because I am just being brutally honest...

I say DO YOU. It really is just HAIR and if you decide you don't like the relaxed look again, you can always regrow it out later.

There's a ton of information on this site going back YEARS that will help you take care of your hair long and keep it "healthy" (as healthy as chemically treated hair can look).

I, personally, have never had a desire to go back to straight once I made my decision years ago, but that's ME. I prefer my hair just the way it is.

I'd like to experiment with permanent color, but that will mean mandatory weekly deep conditionings (whether I want to or not), because once you put chemicals in virgin hair the days of sliding on DCs is over. I dc about once a month (if I remember or my hair needs that oomph).

Contrary to what folks say, it really is just HAIR.

 

[jada1111]

Do not relax bone straight; you will regret it.

So true. When I was relaxed I made the mistake of using Revlon Regular Professional at the salon and my hair looked so thin! I was happy using either Mizani or Revlon Mild formula, but my stupid arse thought I needed something "stronger". Yeah, right. That's what I get, but I didn't know what would happen, but the Dominican stylist SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME that it would be too strong for my hair. THAT'S THEIR FREAKIN' JOB!

Well, what did I expect going to a hood salon.

Thank goodness I'll never have to go through that mess ever again. If there ever comes a time where I can no longer deal with my natural hair, I'll shave it all off and rock a twa.

 

[Curlybeauty]

Updates please..?

 

[Mdmommy99]

I would say get it braided for a couple months then see how you feel. I BC'd twice and both times I went through what I call my ugly phase and really wanted to relax because my hair was at a length where nothing looked good. But once my hair got past that length I loved it. Do what you feel in the end but I have always felt like with my natural hair it either has to be just a little longer than bald or long enough for me to put it in a puff. I hate anything in between.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i think more people should talk about this 'ugly phase'. i don't know why, but the issue seems to get lost in people just doing another bc, or relaxing. maybe its because people are scared to say 'ugly' and 'natural hair' in the same sentence, but it is what it is. i've certainly noticed that there is a certain time period that is 'ugly', and most people don't get past it. ♥

 

[lovely_locks]

how long was your hair when you hit your ugly stage?

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

i think more people should talk about this 'ugly phase'. i don't know why, but the issue seems to get lost in people just doing another bc, or relaxing. maybe its because people are scared to say 'ugly' and 'natural hair' in the same sentence, but it is what it is. i've certainly noticed that there is a certain time period that is 'ugly', and most people don't get past it. ♥

I agree people should talk about how to get through the "ugly" stage more. Or at least how to stay encouraged while going through it. They talk about how to get through transitioning and the bc but never that stage where your hair isnt quite hanging right on your face yet. That stage where all you can get away with is wearing a puff or extentions.

Ok to answer your question op:

I ended up texlaxing because I couldnt get through that awkward stage but sometimes I wish I didnt. I think of what my hair would look like now. The different styles I could do with the extra length I have. How thick full and bouncy it would look in a braidout, twistout, or even what my w&g's would look like. It kinda frustrates me sometimes that I relaxed and didnt just wait it out. Theres nothing I can do about it now because I am not about to cut all my progress off but op just wait it out if you arent 100% sure yet. Get some braids or a weave and wait for some more length to come. In the meantime stalk some natural hair fotkis and youtubes for ideas of what you can do once you get past this period. If you find you still have the itch to relax then do it but just be 100% sure about it before you take the plunge.

Sometimes the what ifs suck just as much as the awkward stage

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Sorry for my late "update".. I have been wearing it like this:

This is because I am in a EdS program and have been having to drive 1.5 hours everyday and sit in class for 8 hours straight. All.Week. Plus, the pregnancy.

My goal is to straighten this weekend and wear it straight two weeks and get micros.
The only thing stopping me right now is my sister and FH (my biggest natural hair supporters)

I still feel ugly and I still hate my hair..

 

[coolsista-paris]

hey i know how you feel. ok i transitionned,then when i bc i said ok here i go. at first i didnt know what to do with my hair...(sometimed found mysled ugly with no style) then when i started playing in it, and findind styled to do i then started enjoying. now i love it! no way im turning back. I will straightnen it one day ,but rarely. throughout your journey you will always have moments of doubt,then it will be ok again. try different hairstyles.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Where can you purchase sabino?

 

[Carrie A]

Where can you purchase sabino?

I ordered it online from Amazon. The original product was Sabino Moisture Block. The company changed the formula and renamed it Lok and Blok. However, due to a dispute with the manufacturer, the original formula is being sold through ebay or Amazon.