Your mother or your husband??

[Mortons]

A woman...giving a woman's reply. Okay this explains it.

We are maternal by nature. It's only natural for a female Pastor to react as only a woman would.


In fairness, it would have been interesting to see if this question was presented to an equal number of men and women. I can see what the answers would be. Women are going to jump to the aid of the children and their mothers...naturally.

However, men would not forsake a child either. When there's ever a disaster, you will see the rescue heros go for the children first. These two men BlkManWSS OP and his Pastor are heros.

I will show this to the pastor and her husband. They are co-pastors of a church and are a blessing to everyone they are around. The do marriage counseling together, as they feel a single person/only a man or woman is not equiped to do marriage counseling (duh I mean experience is key). But this is a good experiement. I will take it to the pastors and see how it goes!

 

[Shimmie]

I will show this to the pastor and her husband. They are co-pastors of a church and are a blessing to everyone they are around. The do marriage counseling together, as they feel a single person/only a man or woman is not equiped to do marriage counseling (duh I mean experience is key). But this is a good experiement. I will take it to the pastors and see how it goes!

This is great. It may also be good if they presented this thread as it was to those with whom they fellowship who are also in leadship, (Multitude of counselors).

I'll tell you why. There's an endangered species in the Body of Christ when it comes to marriage...it's Trust. It's just not there and I'm talking even between those in leadership. Listen to the messages of the many women who speak these days. Every other line...speaks the lost of trust. It's there. One line speaks, love and honor your husband, the next line says, 'look out for yourself....

Do you know what this Pastor was truly asking BlkManWSS and his ex-wife? "How much trust do you have in each other? It had nothing to do with an accident? How much do your trust your husband? Even more, how much do you trust God?

Remember when Ezekiel asked the widow woman, (I Kings) "...make me a cake first." The woman had a son and she was down to her last / during a three year drought. However, she took a chance on trusting God, and the oil and the meal never failed them in spite of the others around them which did fail and go hungry.

The issue here is 'Trust." God wants to put it back into marriages and to stay there, eternally.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

This is great. It may also be good if they presented this thread as it was to those with whom they fellowship who are also in leadship, (Multitude of counselors).

I'll tell you why. There's an endangered species in the Body of Christ when it comes to marriage...it's Trust. It's just not there and I'm talking even between those in leadership. Listen to the messages of the many women who speak these days. Every other line...speaks the lost of trust. It's there. One line speaks, love and honor your husband, the next line says, 'look out for yourself....

Do you know what this Pastor was truly asking BlkManWSS and his ex-wife? "How much trust do you have in each other? It had nothing to do with an accident? How much do your trust your husband? Even more, how much do you trust God?

Remember when Ezekiel asked the widow woman, (I Kings) "...make me a cake first." The woman had a son and she was down to her last / during a three year drought. However, she took a chance on trusting God, and the oil and the meal never failed them in spite of the others around them which did fail and go hungry.

The issue here is 'Trust." God wants to put it back into marriages and to stay there, eternally.

Hmmmm.....enough said. I won't even go into what my husband and I do in the Kingdom. Shimmie, you the Woman for the Job!!!

Bless you.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

I went to a pre marital counseling session at my church and the pastor asked me this question. I would like to see how you would answer.

If your husband, mother and yourself was driving along the road in the rain over a low bridge. The car hydroplanes and loses control and goes over the guardrail and into the water. You lose consciousness for a moment and quickly wake up to the water filing up inside the car. You find your mother and husband unconscious. You're able to open a window and get out. However, you quickly realize by how fast the water is coming in that you will only be able to save ONE of them because there will be no time to go back and get the other. Whom would you save?

Your Husband.. or ...Your mother?

Before you reply, you MUST choose one or the other. There is no other option. There is a reason for this and I will tell you what I said and what the pastor said after a few responses.

i would choose my husband. i just attended a sermon last week that gave the order of priority and spouse was after god.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

The pastor said the reason why your spouse comes first is because when a couple marries the priorities change and you leave your parents and forsake all things ( as Sonit said ). The order becomes God and your immediate family.. Children.. spouse and then mother and father.


Amen

the oder my pastor gave was
god
spouse
children
church
work or school

if you didn't have a spouse then parent(s)

 

[Shimmie]

Hmmmm.....enough said. I won't even go into what my husband and I do in the Kingdom. Shimmie, you the Woman for the Job!!!

Bless you.

Bless you too. I wish that I were the woman for the job.

I'm laughing because right now I'm having a 'moment' with the Lord and if a certain 'someone' was my husband right now, he'd be drowning in that car...

My point is that I'm totally female; but as a woman of God, we put aside our 'hormones' and we trust our marriages to God. Men and husbands will never be perfection, but God is. And in Him do I place my trust to trust my husband. It's scarey, but we have to trust in order to make marriage work.

I'm sad to see the Church fall by the wayside as it has in marriage. We're not to live as the world does. We bear each other up; forgiving, forbearing one another. BlkManWSS posted scripture for this from the book of Corinthians.

Yet, I see something more than words in you and your husband, "Nice&Wavy"...I see the covering of the Blood...The Blood of Jesus is sanctioned in your marriage. And as the mantle of Elijah was smote the waters of the Jordon River when given to Elisha, the two you in a whirlwind shall smote the waters which seek to destroy 'Trust' in marriage.

I'm not forfeiting the Trust that God has given me for someone that I love; I've lost enough in this life. And if more of us in the Church would just fight for it, there would never be a need to choose between husband and mother...Trust would keep them both from drowning.

Sorry for the long post... But this question would never have needed being asked...if 'Trust' were not the real issue being addressed.

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

the oder my pastor gave was
god
spouse
children
church
work or school

if you didn't have a spouse then parent(s)

Whoops.. you are correct....
God ... Spouse... Children.....Church...

I thought i typed it correctly..

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Bless you too. I wish that I were the woman for the job.

I'm laughing because right now I'm having a 'moment' with the Lord and if a certain 'someone' was my husband right now, he'd be drowning in that car... LOL!!!

My point is that I'm totally female; but as a woman of God, we put aside our 'hormones' and we trust our marriages to God. Men and husbands will never be perfection, but God is. And in Him do I place my trust to trust my husband. It's scarey, but we have to trust in order to make marriage work.

I'm sad to see the Church fall by the wayside as it has in marriage. We're not to live as the world does. We bear each other up; forgiving, forbearing one another. BlkManWSS posted scripture for this from the book of Corinthians.

Yet, I see something more than words in you and your husband, "Nice&Wavy"...I see the covering of the Blood...The Blood of Jesus is sanctioned in your marriage. And as the mantle of Elijah was smote the waters of the Jordon River when given to Elisha, the two you in a whirlwind shall smote the waters which seek to destroy 'Trust' in marriage.

I'm not forfeiting the Trust that God has given me for someone that I love; I've lost enough in this life. And if more of us in the Church would just fight for it, there would never be a need to choose between husband and mother...Trust would keep them both from drowning.

Sorry for the long post... But this question would never have needed being asked...if 'Trust' were not the real issue being addressed.

Only God could have given such a revelation to you, Shimmie. The same words were given to us by God in the beginning of our marriage. We have a marriage ministry and its been on fire! The Lord has been exploding this ministry with His Power and we are seeing marriages set free, right before our eyes. It's been an awesome experience!

Thank you for being sensitive to hearing the Lord. This is truly a confirmation, I certainly didn't expect to get at this time, I expected it, just didn't know when and/or how. Wow, I'm so blessed right now!!!

Shimmie...."May the Lord Bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine up you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His Countenance upon you and give you, PEACE!!!"

 

[MizAvalon]

Glamourous...don't allow the fear of the world to trap you into not trusting your husband. And in this thread, lack of trust in one's spouse is what is being expressed here between each line.

Common sense, will tell you immediately to feed a child before feeding an adult (as your other post sited).

Above when you mention a fight between your husband and children. Since when are the children the adult? God's word says, 'Children, obey your parents'... 'Honor thy father and thy mother.' Children are placed into our care to learn the order and principles of obedience.

It should be an 'all ready' discussed and set agreement between the husband and wife on how and when to discipline a child (or children if the case may be). Never is the wife to side with the children against her husband and again should the husband side with the children against the wife.

AND NEVER should a child be allowed to argue with a parent.

Yes, they can share their heart and it is proper to have 'family' discussions and allow a child to express their feelings. Children do need to vent, but not in retaliation or rebellion or being a smart mouth...instead in a healthy discussion with open feed back and understanding from both parents. This is how "healthy" communication is taught and most of all encouraged.

Whatever my husband feels is best for 'our' children, we will abide by it. If I disagree, I will speak with him PRIVATELY....NEVER in front of the children. The ruling must come from an agreement between the husband and the wife...not the children. I am not going to disrespect my husband for the sake of appeasing the moodiness of a child. Come on...! Children do not rule. We love them, yes. But love doesn't mean being a fool for a child. They can't pay rent, let alone buy a hot dog or Happy Meal.

Why has this world come to such weakness in unity between a man and his wife. All through this thread, I see this being represented...'doubt' -- even from the single ones. Doubting the stabiilty of man and wife. This is a scarey thing when one can sleep with a person and still not have faith in him. What's the point of calling it a marriage?

Children grow up and LEAVE home and they leave long before coming of age, due to puberty and peer pressure. Ahhhh yes they do. Our parents leave us as well...eventually they pass away. So why has this generation given up on having a spouse to with them until death...as opposed to divorce.

Keeping up with the Joneses' has taken on a whole new concept. It is now, keeping up with their divorces.... how sad .

What a lovely and thought-provoking post Shimmie.

 

[Shimmie]

Reflecting.... upon another excellent 'Life Reflection'.

Between husband and wife...it's all about 'trust.'

"Do I trust the man I married, to stay with him come hell or high water; or am I pre-packed to run home to 'Mama at the first sign of a flood; leaving him to drown?'

 

[carcajada]

Whom would you save?[/I][/B]

Your Husband.. or ...Your mother?

Before you reply, you MUST choose one or the other. There is no other option. There is a reason for this and I will tell you what I said and what the pastor said after a few responses.

My husband because marriage puts him at a position more important than my mother and family.

 

[MommaMayhann]

I would choose my husband first... Without a doubt. And I KNOW that my mother would look down on me and smile !

On another note... It very disheartening reading the "what if we get divorced" and "you can always get another husband" points of view. I love my mother with all my heart and while she is not replaceable...(to a certain degree) neither is my husband.

 

[pebbles]

I gave the correct answer without hesitation which was 'Save my wife'. Ironically my ex wife said "her mother" when she was asked the same question. erplexed

The pastor said the reason why your spouse comes first is because when a couple marries the priorities change and you leave your parents and forsake all things ( as Sonit said ). The order becomes God and your immediate family.. Children.. spouse and then mother and father.

Matthew 19:4-6 And [Jesus] answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

I told my mother what the pastor said and asked her what she thought of my answer and she replied " If you're my son then you would save your wife." . I tried to be slick and said " what if we were having marital problems and were really on the rocks" and she said " Doesnt change anything. I would expect you to perform your husbandly duties until you both divorced. Theres no grey areas in God's word"

It's important for couples to understand the seriousness of marriage and what it requires. Your loyalty to each other should be as natural
as breathing. When I think of marriage I think of :

Colossians 3:12-17
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. "

Amen

Amen! Bless you!

 

[pebbles]

Just a question......if you only had 1 bowl of cereal in the house and no money or any other food, would you let your husband eat and your children starve, since he is at the top of the 'hierarchy'?

A man is charged with being the head of the household, and all children are his responsibility. Any reasonable set of parents would feed the children first, in this case. I can't imagine a parent eating and letting their kids starve. A real man of GOD would never allow that to happen.

 

[*KP*]

I had to bump this old thread.

I understand the biblical explanation behind this but I don't know any what I'd call "permanent" relationships. From what I have seen in my environment - family, friends, friends parents etc - the man usually leaves and/or cheats and that's why I struggle with this question. From what I have seen/how I've been raised those who would have picked the husband in this hypothetical situation got burned....real bad.

 

[Shimmie]

I had to bump this old thread.

I understand the biblical explanation behind this but I don't know any what I'd call "permanent" relationships. From what I have seen in my environment - family, friends, friends parents etc - the man usually leaves and/or cheats and that's why I struggle with this question. From what I have seen/how I've been raised those who would have picked the husband in this hypothetical situation got burned....real bad.

It's a 'scarey' thought, especially for one who has not seen or experienced a solid relationship in marriage.

However there are men who 'stay'. There are men who 'love'. There are men who committ. There are men who are 'Men.'

And for you, this I pray. That God will bring this kind of man into your life. A man like Him, who is trustworthy and loyal, committed and complete in himself and totally committed to you.

And that you will NEVER have to make a decision to choose the life of one for another.

God bless you Special K and don't let the misfortune of others be your icon. You deserve the best that life has to offer. Even more, the best the God has to offer and He's already begun by giving you His love in the form of Jesus.

 

[*KP*]

It's a 'scarey' thought, especially for one who has not seen or experienced a solid relationship in marriage.

However there are men who 'stay'. There are men who 'love'. There are men who committ. There are men who are 'Men.'

And for you, this I pray. That God will bring this kind of man into your life. A man like Him, who is trustworthy and loyal, committed and complete in himself and totally committed to you.

And that you will NEVER have to make a decision to choose the life of one for another.

God bless you Special K and don't let the misfortune of others be your icon. You deserve the best that life has to offer. Even more, the best the God has to offer and He's already begun by giving you His love in the form of Jesus.

Aww, thank you Shimmie, you are too kind

 

[Laela]

WOW!

It's really good to come across a man's perspective on Marriage in this forum.. God really is a God of order (priorities)


[I'll keep digging.. ]

I gave the correct answer without hesitation which was 'Save my wife'. Ironically my ex wife said "her mother" when she was asked the same question. erplexed

The pastor said the reason why your spouse comes first is because when a couple marries the priorities change and you leave your parents and forsake all things ( as Sonit said ). The order becomes God and your immediate family.. Children.. spouse and then mother and father.

Matthew 19:4-6 And [Jesus] answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

I told my mother what the pastor said and asked her what she thought of my answer and she replied " If you're my son then you would save your wife." . I tried to be slick and said " what if we were having marital problems and were really on the rocks" and she said " Doesnt change anything. I would expect you to perform your husbandly duties until you both divorced. Theres no grey areas in God's word"

It's important for couples to understand the seriousness of marriage and what it requires. Your loyalty to each other should be as natural
as breathing. When I think of marriage I think of :

Colossians 3:12-17
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. "

Amen

 

[Guitarhero]

My mother...you can always get another husband. But seriously, does anyone think it differs by culture? That type of scenario is unfair, imho.

 

[Shimmie]

Wow... this was some thread.

.... and I ain't changed one bit....

 

[delitefulmane]

This thread is great for the single (i.e. in a relationship but not married) and hopeful to be able to hear the Christian perspective on life's issues!

 

[Laela]

That's an interesting question... while I don't see how seeing anyone as 'disposable' is right, God's divine order surely must have some merit when it comes to situations like this. For me, God's Word trumps cultural bounds/beliefs... It's God first, husband second, then Mommy.
Lord knows how much I love my mother and I'm close to her...I also know she is in Good Hands, given a situation like this.

My mother...you can always get another husband. But seriously, does anyone think it differs by culture? That type of scenario is unfair, imho.

 

[Shimmie]

That's an interesting question... while I don't see how seeing anyone as 'disposable' is right, God's divine order surely must have some merit when it comes to situations like this. For me, God's Word trumps cultural bounds/beliefs...

It's God first, husband second, then Mommy.
Lord knows how much I love my mother and I'm close to her...I also know she is in Good Hands, given a situation like this.

Hey Laela...

With me being the proud mother of a handsome son...

He betta' ack' like he 'know'....

 

[Prudent1]

^^^ "Mama didn't raise no fool..."

 

[Lucie]

This is really easy for me. My husband.

 

[Shimmie]

This is really easy for me. My husband.

Awwww, Lucie.

The 'two' shall always be 'One'. You and Hubbie

 

[Shimmie]

^^^ "Mama didn't raise no fool..."

You betta' know it.

After Four hours of hard labour...

 

[PinkPebbles]

I know the biblical answer is to save your husband BUT I would save my mother.

And I hope that my husband would save his mother over me.

Don't stone me.... When I get married I'll come back to this thread to see if my decision changed.

 

[disgtgyal]

@ KP I totally understand your position which is based on what you saw/ see because I too grew up witnessing failed marriages and at a very young age I said I'm never getting married because there is no way I would put up with what my aunts endure nor would I allow the antics of my uncles. God however had a different plan and He brought someone into my life who knew what marriage was suppose to be, and God slowly changed my mind. The question from the OP was a no brainer I would definitely save my husband, and IMO choosing otherwise is being hearers of the word and not doers, in addition and this might be a stretch but it's my opinion but I think knowing the Word and still choosing your mother you've killed your spouse and as a result guilty of murder


Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF

 

[LunadeMiel]

I don't know but I'm more inclined to say my mother. I only have one mother....