Your mother or your husband??

Not to steal the show but what if it were your child(ren) and husband? Then in that case the children should def. come first.... right?
 
I knew the correct answer would be husband but my answer was my mother. As much as I cant stand her sometimes, you only get one, and I can always get remarried :( . Your mother will love you through whatever, your husband can get flaky over time and leave you or divorce you. :ohwell:
 
I definitely had a hard time answering this question and I still havent answerd it. I read through the posts and saw the answer and after reading about the answer I can understand why one is suppose to choose their spouse over their parent. Never read the passages posted in regards to the topic but I can surely relate to its value. I think I will pose the question to my SO. If I know him well enough, he's going to refuse to answer the question, especially knowing he's an only child and momma's boy But the value behind the question is something that I believe in anyway, outside of death's circumstances.
 
i know i would try to save my hubby , because that is what my mom would want me to do. on the other hand if this question was given to my hubby who is a momma's boy and her only child i am not sure how he would answer. on the ither hand the kids or him. it would be the kids. my babies are precious. i even told my hubby when i was pregnant with our babies if something ever happened if he had to choose me or the kids he better choose the kids .
 
Jkelly0204 said:
i know i would try to save my hubby , because that is what my mom would want me to do. on the other hand if this question was given to my hubby who is a momma's boy and her only child i am not sure how he would answer. on the ither hand the kids or him. it would be the kids. my babies are precious. i even told my hubby when i was pregnant with our babies if something ever happened if he had to choose me or the kids he better choose the kids .
Click to expand...

I thought that this would be a good thing....loving someone more than yourself is what God did and I'm sure that he would be proud of us for trying to save someone before ourselves or our own needs (husband). Again, if this is what God expects out of marriage I cant do it. I may as well stop looking now.
 
You know before I even read the question, I look at the title of the thread and thought "my husband". Now after reading the question, my answer is the same. Q
 
Jkelly0204 said:
i know i would try to save my hubby , because that is what my mom would want me to do. on the other hand if this question was given to my hubby who is a momma's boy and her only child i am not sure how he would answer. on the ither hand the kids or him. it would be the kids. my babies are precious. i even told my hubby when i was pregnant with our babies if something ever happened if he had to choose me or the kids he better choose the kids .
Click to expand...


well i asked my hubby this question. he said that is tough question, but i would save you. i said why, he said so i wouldn't have to deal with our bebe's kids alone.
 
BlackMan can you pull up a scripture to help me understand WHY and HOW I can bring someone out of my womb by my own selfish will and not save them over my mate when I am the reason why they are on the earth in the first place. I mean so what happens if your husband and children get into a fight? Am I supposed to side with him anyway? What if he leaves me? Am I supposed to run after him and neglect my children?
 
Once married, the order for the family goes like this:

God
Jesus
Husband
Wife
Children
and then everyone else.

Anything out of this order, will be catastrophic in your life.

God has placed everything the way He desires it to be.

When we follow His plan....it always work out for the good.

Therefore, I will save my husband, period.
 
Nice & Wavy said:
Once married, the order for the family goes like this:

God
Jesus
Husband
Wife
Children
and then everyone else.

Anything out of this order, will be catastrophic in your life.

God has placed everything the way He desires it to be.

When we follow His plan....it always work out for the good.

Therefore, I will save my husband, period.
Click to expand...


Just a question......if you only had 1 bowl of cereal in the house and no money or any other food, would you let your husband eat and your children starve, since he is at the top of the 'hierarchy'?
 
Glamourous said:
Just a question......if you only had 1 bowl of cereal in the house and no money or any other food, would you let your husband eat and your children starve, since he is at the top of the 'hierarchy'?
Click to expand...

Ok, without getting political...he is not at the top of the 'hierarchy' as you stated, God is. Also, if I had only 1 bowl of cereal in the house, there won't be any question that we would all 'share' the bowl of cereal if need be and if we were not able to do that, my husband and I both would give it to the children, understanding OUR role as parents.

Understanding God's plan for marriage is something that you would have to study and learn. There is a reason why God has it this way. I always say..."if you want to know more about why God does things in the order He does it...ask HIM!"
 
Glamourous said:
Just a question......if you only had 1 bowl of cereal in the house and no money or any other food, would you let your husband eat and your children starve, since he is at the top of the 'hierarchy'?
Click to expand...
Oh Sweetie, no man or woman would eat before their child... :nono:
 
Glamourous said:
BlackMan can you pull up a scripture to help me understand WHY and HOW I can bring someone out of my womb by my own selfish will and not save them over my mate when I am the reason why they are on the earth in the first place. I mean so what happens if your husband and children get into a fight? Am I supposed to side with him anyway? What if he leaves me? Am I supposed to run after him and neglect my children?
Click to expand...

Glamourous...don't allow the fear of the world to trap you into not trusting your husband. And in this thread, lack of trust in one's spouse is what is being expressed here between each line.

Common sense, will tell you immediately to feed a child before feeding an adult (as your other post sited).

Above when you mention a fight between your husband and children. Since when are the children the adult? God's word says, 'Children, obey your parents'... 'Honor thy father and thy mother.' Children are placed into our care to learn the order and principles of obedience.

It should be an 'all ready' discussed and set agreement between the husband and wife on how and when to discipline a child (or children if the case may be). Never is the wife to side with the children against her husband and again should the husband side with the children against the wife.

AND NEVER should a child be allowed to argue with a parent.

Yes, they can share their heart and it is proper to have 'family' discussions and allow a child to express their feelings. Children do need to vent, but not in retaliation or rebellion or being a smart mouth...instead in a healthy discussion with open feed back and understanding from both parents. This is how "healthy" communication is taught and most of all encouraged.

Whatever my husband feels is best for 'our' children, we will abide by it. If I disagree, I will speak with him PRIVATELY....NEVER in front of the children. The ruling must come from an agreement between the husband and the wife...not the children. I am not going to disrespect my husband for the sake of appeasing the moodiness of a child. Come on...! Children do not rule. We love them, yes. But love doesn't mean being a fool for a child. They can't pay rent, let alone buy a hot dog or Happy Meal. :look:

Why has this world come to such weakness in unity between a man and his wife. All through this thread, I see this being represented...'doubt' -- even from the single ones. Doubting the stabiilty of man and wife. :( This is a scarey thing when one can sleep with a person and still not have faith in him. What's the point of calling it a marriage?

Children grow up and LEAVE home and they leave long before coming of age, due to puberty and peer pressure. Ahhhh yes they do. :lol: Our parents leave us as well...eventually they pass away. So why has this generation given up on having a spouse to with them until death...as opposed to divorce.

Keeping up with the Joneses' has taken on a whole new concept. It is now, keeping up with their divorces.... how sad :( .
 
Last edited:
Glamourous said:
Just a question......if you only had 1 bowl of cereal in the house and no money or any other food, would you let your husband eat and your children starve, since he is at the top of the 'hierarchy'?
Click to expand...


This is a tough question, but I would go for my husband. I think back to when God asked Abraham to step out on faith and sacrifice his son. Abraham was faithful and God provided another sacrifice at the last minute. Why wouldn't God provide a way to save my Mom also if its his will. I have to make the first move an be faithful to Him.

As far as the cereal, I would give it to my husband. I know the man (I think) that I am getting ready to marry. He is a provider. He would bring money home and the rest of us would feast for the small sacrifice of a bowl of cereal. It would be really hard to get him to eat it though. I'm pretty sure he would rather the kids have it (hypothetical kids, that is)
 
Shimmie said:
Glamourous...don't allow the fear of the world to trap you into not trusting your husband. And in this thread, lack of trust in one's spouse is what is being expressed here between each line.

Common sense, will tell you immediately to feed a child before feeding an adult (as your other post sited).

Above when you mention a fight between your husband and children. Since when are the children the adult? God's word says, 'Children, obey your parents'... 'Honor thy father and thy mother.' Children are placed into our care to learn the order and principles of obedience.

It should be an 'all ready' discussed and set agreement between the husband and wife on how and when to discipline a child (or children if the case may be). Never is the wife to side with the children against her husband and again should the husband side with the children against the wife.

AND NEVER should a child be allowed to argue with a parent.

Yes, they can share their heart and it is proper to have 'family' discussions and allow a child to express their feelings. Children do need to vent, but not in retaliation or rebellion or being a smart mouth...instead in a healthy discussion with open feed back and understanding from both parents. This is how communication is taught and most of all encouraged.

Whatever my husband feels is best for 'our' children, we will abide by it. If I disagree, I will speak with him PRIVATELY....NEVER in front of the children. The ruling must come from an agreement between the husband and the wife...not the children. I am not going to disrespect my husband for the sake of appeasing the moodiness of a child. Come on...! Children do not rule. We love them, yes. But love doesn't mean being a fool for a child. They can't pay rent, let alone buy a hot dog or Happy Meal. :look:

Why has this world come to such weakness in unity between a man and his wife. All through this thread, I see this being represented...'doubt' -- even from the single ones. Doubting the stabiilty of man and wife. :( This is a scarey thing when one can sleep with a person and still not have faith in him. What's the point of calling it a marriage?

Children grow up and LEAVE home and they leave long before coming of age, due to puberty and peer pressure. Ahhhh yes they do. :lol: Our parents leave us as well...eventually they pass away. So why has this generation given up on having a spouse to with them until death...as opposed to divorce.

Keeping up with the Joneses' has taken on a whole new concept. It is now, keeping up with their divorces.... how sad :( .
Click to expand...

I agree on all of this, especially the bolded. May the Lord fill your home with a wonderful husband and great little children :p !
 
I spoke with my pastor about this 'delimma' presented in marriage counseling. My pastor was shocked and appalled that anyone would start marriage counseling off like this, and the fact that the pastor asked to basically save and kill somone. My pastor was also appalled that someone said they would save a grown man before an innocent child. My pastor seriously almost had a heart attack, and told me that this was a complete misunderstanding of the Word. The Bible mentions nothing of saving someone over another, I think what the Lord meant was that when you are married you become one, and yougoing ons are now between you and your husband alone, not everyone else. This confirmed the belief in my spirit that what some were saying was not right. However, I know that most people will disagree......











I will continue to pray for you all. And I also hope that the Lord blesses me with children and a husband at the right time, and in the right frame of mind.................................
 
Last edited:
Glamourous said:
I spoke with my pastor about this 'delimma' presented in marriage counseling. My pastor was shocked and appalled that anyone would start marriage counseling off like this, and the fact that the pastor asked to basically save and kill somone. My pastor was also appalled that someone said they would save a grown man before an innocent child. My pastor seriously almost had a heart attack, and told me that this was a complete misunderstanding of the Word.

The Bible mentions nothing of saving someone over another,
Click to expand...
Umm...Jesus gave His Life for us all so that we will be saved.
I think what the Lord meant was that when you are married you become one, and yougoing ons are now between you and your husband alone, not everyone else. This confirmed the belief in my spirit that what some were saying was not right. However, I know that most people will disagree......

I will continue to pray for you all. And I also hope that the Lord blesses me with children and a husband at the right time, and in the right frame of mind.................................
Click to expand...



Basically, if you read the original OP's post, the story was that someone would have to die....no one was going to "kill" anyone, so I'm not sure what that comment was about.

I'm sure your pastor was 'appauled' at what you told him and I'm sure he wasn't going to have a heart attack. I'm sure he has heard some things that we can't even imagine...hopefully you gave him exactly what was said by the posters and not something paraphrased. If that's the case, I would be appauled too.

I have a wonderful husband and great 'adult' children. I've been serving the Lord for quite some time now. I don't pat myself on the back at all, because its not about me, its about HIM! However, when you said that you think what the Lord said was that when you are married you become one....etc., you are right. The Lord placed a man and a woman together to become one with Him as the center of their relationship. The bible says a "three cord strand is not easily broken." He didn't say that about anything else.

It's not that we will disagree, its just that understanding the true meaning of marriage (being married in the Lord of course) and understanding what you think marriage is, is two different things. People are always going to say what is on their heart..and that's ok. I don't always have to receive what they think, and that's ok too!

As you pray, remember this scripture:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." (2 Cor. 10:4-6)

I hope that the Lord blesses you as well.

Blessings...:p
 
Nice & Wavy said:
Basically, if you read the original OP's post, the story was that someone would have to die....no one was going to "kill" anyone, so I'm not sure what that comment was about.

I'm sure your pastor was 'appauled' at what you told him and I'm sure he wasn't going to have a heart attack. I'm sure he has heard some things that we can't even imagine...hopefully you gave him exactly what was said by the posters and not something paraphrased. If that's the case, I would be appauled too.

I have a wonderful husband and great 'adult' children.

I've been serving the Lord for quite some time now. I don't pat myself on the back at all, because its not about me, its about HIM! However, when you said that you think what the Lord said was that when you are married you become one....etc., you are right. The Lord placed a man and a woman together to become one with Him as the center of their relationship. The bible says a "three cord strand is not easily broken." He didn't say that about anything else.

It's not that we will disagree, its just that understanding the true meaning of marriage (being married in the Lord of course) and understanding what you think marriage is, is two different things. People are always going to say what is on their heart..and that's ok. I don't always have to receive what they think, and that's ok too!

As you pray, remember this scripture:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." (2 Cor. 10:4-6)

I hope that the Lord blesses you as well.

Blessings...:p
Click to expand...

Station Break: Wavy, you are NOT the mom of Adult children...! You are gorgeous! AND you look like a 'kid' yourself. All this time, I never had a clue...:lol: Go head 'Sarah' with your youth. Praise Him! God has blessed me too...my babies are also grown.

Thank you for the 'marriage' blessings' ...I receive them. I'm no fool :nono:
 
Shimmie said:
Station Break: Wavy, you are NOT the mom of Adult children...! You are gorgeous! AND you look like a 'kid' yourself. All this time, I never had a clue...:lol: Go head 'Sarah' with your youth. Praise Him! God has blessed me too...my babies are also grown.

Thank you for the 'marriage' blessings' ...I receive them. I'm no fool :nono:
Click to expand...

:D ok, you see that I'm cheesin' right? Thank you for the compliment, Shimmie. I have two children...son who will be 27 next month and a daughter who is 25 and a granddaughter who is 6. I'm a young mom though...43. Started early...am blessed because of it because now, my husband and I travel and we are free to do the Lord's work now more than ever, and we are both still very young and vibrant to do so, thank you Lord!!!. Both children are out of the house, so its nice when they come to visit us.

You are welcome for those marriage blessings....and it shall surely come to pass, in the Name of Jesus! Oh, yes...you are blessed....grown children are a blessing!
 
Nice & Wavy said:
Basically, if you read the original OP's post, the story was that someone would have to die....no one was going to "kill" anyone, so I'm not sure what that comment was about.

I'm sure your pastor was 'appauled' at what you told him and I'm sure he wasn't going to have a heart attack. I'm sure he has heard some things that we can't even imagine...hopefully you gave him exactly what was said by the posters and not something paraphrased. If that's the case, I would be appauled too.

I have a wonderful husband and great 'adult' children. I've been serving the Lord for quite some time now. I don't pat myself on the back at all, because its not about me, its about HIM! However, when you said that you think what the Lord said was that when you are married you become one....etc., you are right. The Lord placed a man and a woman together to become one with Him as the center of their relationship. The bible says a "three cord strand is not easily broken." He didn't say that about anything else.

It's not that we will disagree, its just that understanding the true meaning of marriage (being married in the Lord of course) and understanding what you think marriage is, is two different things. People are always going to say what is on their heart..and that's ok. I don't always have to receive what they think, and that's ok too!

As you pray, remember this scripture:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." (2 Cor. 10:4-6)

I hope that the Lord blesses you as well.

Blessings...:p
Click to expand...

I understand how you feel....but no I did not paraphrase I told HER exactly what the original poster said. :)
 
Glamourous said:
I spoke with my pastor about this 'delimma' presented in marriage counseling. My pastor was shocked and appalled that anyone would start marriage counseling off like this, and the fact that the pastor asked to basically save and kill somone.

My pastor was also appalled that someone said they would save a grown man before an innocent child. My pastor seriously almost had a heart attack, and told me that this was a complete misunderstanding of the Word.

The Bible mentions nothing of saving someone over another, I think what the Lord meant was that when you are married you become one, and yougoing ons are now between you and your husband alone, not everyone else. This confirmed the belief in my spirit that what some were saying was not right. However, I know that most people will disagree......

I will continue to pray for you all. And I also hope that the Lord blesses me with children and a husband at the right time, and in the right frame of mind.................................
Click to expand...
You actually took this message and 'killed' your Pastor :shocked:

Hey Lady... :kiss: As untrue as that is, it applies also to the interpretation of this message that you have gathered and in turn given to your Pastor.

In fairness to your Pastor, please allow him to read this thread so that he can discern what has really been said. You owe this to him and to the others who will hear this 'interpretation' for I can assure you, it's going to be one of his sermons. It's a guarantee. But it will be a lie.

Neither the OP nor his Pastor implied killing anyone. Nor not feeding a child. This is not the heart of either of them. It is a parable of a hypothetical situation, which Jesus did often, to express a point and to give people food for thought and at the same time, teach a Godly principal.

Do you really think that BlkManWSS and his Pastor do not carry the burden of dread that this would ever be a decision for either of them? I have no doubt that this decison carries grief for them or any man. For it is clearly indicated throughout each of his replies. He even sought his mother for clarification. His Pastor as well showed a dread of this occurrence.

For you see, most of our choices to follow God do such. That's why it's called obedience...for it is goes against our logical inclinations.

These men have been mispresented to your Pastor. None of what you shared about them with your Pastor is true.

Come here... (((( hugs )))) ;) There's no anger here; not from anyone. But in a forum, it is so easy to misunderstand a topical discussion. Even when speaking face to face...we have misunderstandings.

Let your Pastor read this thread. I'm sure he'll see this a little differently. And even if he doesn't, he will still see the truth about what both of these men actually spoke about. Fair enough?

Peace and blessings to you...;)
 
Glamourous said:
I understand how you feel....but no I did not paraphrase I told HER exactly what the original poster said. :)
Click to expand...
A woman...giving a woman's reply. Okay this explains it.

We are maternal by nature. It's only natural for a female Pastor to react as only a woman would.

In fairness, it would have been interesting to see if this question was presented to an equal number of men and women. I can see what the answers would be. Women are going to jump to the aid of the children and their mothers...naturally.

However, men would not forsake a child either. When there's ever a disaster, you will see the rescue heros go for the children first. These two men BlkManWSS OP and his Pastor are heros. ;)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

carcajada
Praying For Your Husband
2
Replies
59
Views
9K
LovingLady
LovingLady
M
Funny Anecdote about Staying Married
Replies
1
Views
1K
tmichelle
tmichelle
Shimmie
"First Man" - Is this a Proper Title for a Man Whose Wife is a Pastor?
2
Replies
39
Views
8K
StrawberryQueen
StrawberryQueen
Shimmie
Please Pray for This Man of God...
Replies
9
Views
2K
Rainbow Dash
Rainbow Dash
GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I
What Is Your Dream Wedding?
Replies
22
Views
3K
hurricane
hurricane
Back
Top