Your Friendship With Your Husband

[MizAvalon]

This is an awesome thread!

 

[barbiesocialite]

Ok I've been thinking. I realize that I am more or less in the catagory of the Companionship Model. I think dh is more of the Support Model but we wound up smacked into the Karma Model. Is this even possible or am I reading too much into things?

I only know about the models listed from the posted info.

The Karma model seems more like the "soulmate" type mixed with perfectionism. Two control freaks perfectionists who are chronic pushers. Both partners are highly ambitious yet highly critical simultaneously as individuals and partners. Nothing is ever good enough. Whats good enough could be better. Better has little value until it comes definitively the best. and so forth and so on.....When I think about the Karma model I think of highly competitve couples who navigate life o a scale of checks and balances. While invested in their spouse and marriage in pursuit of winning. Winning naturally faciliates more growth as breeding ground for one-upmanship between spouses which creates a new challenge and goal to be achieved by the other. thus the cycle continues.. When I picute the Karma couple in my mind I think about one of those couples who like to compete at sex to prove who is better. lol


Ouch. Your post seems like a bit of a doozy and connudrum so much clashing.

Compansion and Support are the most extreme and opposite of all the listed models. That's a tough one. Basic needs are inherently different Companions thrive on emotion---partners are sources of nurturance and support for emotional deficits.

Supporters are pragmatic and built on necessity. people serve a purpose--partners serve an active viable purpose as a practical part of daily/personal function.

Sounds like a tough spot to be in because needs will never become wants. Hard to do when esp since both partners needs are different. matter of factly. Well I'm rooting for you, hopefully life works itself out to bring you back to the good stuff that made you want to get married in the first place

 

[barbiesocialite]

Of the models, I guess I would be a Support model. I need for things to make sense and serve a practical purpose--including people and relationships.

I need to know why. Why must explain the urgency/importance that confines me to obligation. Why do I need to do xyz? Why do I have to care? Life is short. Unless I see the point it's a waste of my time. If it's optional and not a necessity I'm generally not invested because I don't have be. I dont have to give a damn. so I dont and I wont. cuz I don't care.

Other than that, I have parents. I have enough friends. I don't need, want nor do I have the time for new ones. No thanks. I dont want it. Not interested. If I wanted a new friend, I would go out and find one just like I found the friends I already have. I need It/you serve no purpose to my actual real life, I cant be bothered. I'm not randomly creating a reason to be bothered unless it's already bothering me in the here and now. I need my SO to bring to the table something that I need, one and don't already have. Dont be a repeat. Repeats are boring. youre boring. I hate being bored esp by boring people. Serve a purpose. Make sense for you in my life before your boring presence turns into a source of irritation of unnecessary inconvenience. That makes me angry. Get in where you fit in. If not, please get the hell away from me and out of my face so I can call my actual best friend to discuss friendly things that get on my nerves like you (SO).

 

[Maracujá]

Friendship in a romantic relationship with someone is of the utmost importance to me. Hence the reason why I always liked the line 'we are close friends, also lovers, do anything for one another...' from Aaliyah's song 'Miss You'. Something like in the video below, may be immature for some people, but it's what I want in a relationship.

 

[Duchesse]

Friendship in a romantic relationship with someone is of the utmost importance to me. Hence the reason why I always liked the line 'we are close friends, also lovers, do anything for one another...' from Aaliyah's song 'Miss You'. Something like in the video below, may be immature for some people, but it's what I want in a relationship.

That video! Thanks for sharing..it was so sweet...and I'm with you. Friendship is THE most important part of a relationship for me. Companion Model all the way....secondary is the Legacy model. So basically, lets be best friends and build together. Sounds like heaven.

 

[tinkat]

Friendship in a romantic relationship with someone is of the utmost importance to me. Hence the reason why I always liked the line 'we are close friends, also lovers, do anything for one another...' from Aaliyah's song 'Miss You'. Something like in the video below, may be immature for some people, but it's what I want in a relationship.

I love this, thank you for sharing @Maracujá ...My husband overheard me watching this and said he liked it too. I loved the end where he mentions how they appreciate community but the most important thing is being with her and sharing those moments. I am paraphrasing, but hopefully you get the idea of what I took from it lol.

That video! Thanks for sharing..it was so sweet...and I'm with you. Friendship is THE most important part of a relationship for me. Companion Model all the way....secondary is the Legacy model. So basically, lets be best friends and build together. Sounds like heaven.

@Duchesse YES!!!! I mentioned this in another post but an elder told my DH and I that one of the keys to a successful marriage is to have a purpose greater than yourselves.

 

[hopeful]

Friendship in a romantic relationship with someone is of the utmost importance to me. Hence the reason why I always liked the line 'we are close friends, also lovers, do anything for one another...' from Aaliyah's song 'Miss You'. Something like in the video below, may be immature for some people, but it's what I want in a relationship.

They are sooo cute! I love this video. Dh and are still like this. People are always saying we are so cute together and that they love how he looks at me.

 

[Maracujá]

^^^@hopeful: that's what's up!

 

[Brwnbeauti]

. I need my SO to bring to the table something that I need, one and don't already have. . . Get in where you fit in. If not, please get the hell away from me and out of my face so I can call my actual best friend to discuss friendly things that get on my nerves like you (SO).

Truth!

 

[Fab_Nikki]

DH is my best male friend, hands down, period. And I am his best and closest female friend.

^^^Ditto