Sex: Can He Handle You or Is He a Lwimp?

[Guitarhero]

Sooo... If your in a committed relationship everything is perfect in every other aspect of the relationship. Youve talked in detail about what you like and how you like it; do you "fake" until he makes it?

My thought process is that if his ego is boosted the s*x must improve, right??

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To me? I'm not in that relationship any longer. No, I never faked anything. He had hits and misses...many misses. The complexes he had and has are just too deep to make a good union of marriage with him, at least, not with me. I am also talking about a middle-eastern type mindset. I am going to try with all my might to avoid any future similar failures.

What did he mean by 'playful and sweet' anyway? Can you break it down? Sounds like a couple baking cookies together instead of having sex (lol)

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Eh, ignore that attempt at an ethnic slight. If more women would open up about sex, they'd be more satisfied. We have to draw from our known strengths to know what's acceptable and not fall into the trap of seeking male approval to boost our self-esteem and to direct our lives in the conveyor belt mentality of female comparisons. That has to come from within, with or without a man on the side...with or without positive male opinion. Someone might think I've compared him to others. Well, not. It's just that my person wasn't equally valued in many ways, especially in the sex act and that is not acceptable.

 

[Ivonnovi]

Worth reviving and reviewing, seems I'd missed a few posts the 1st time around.

 

[curlicarib]

When I meet my ex, some woman had really hurt his feelings and gave him a complex. It took me a minute to get him to understand that some women will tell a man some very hurtful stuff just to be mean. Once he got over it, the sex was out of this world. We really knew each other and what we liked. We had no problem getting really freaky when warranted, too. I wonder if I'll ever find another man I'm confortable enough with to let the freak in my soul see the sun? I hope so, because I don't even remember what "missionary" is - **sucks teeth** - they still do that??

 

[shortycocoa]

I like to use the 64 color crayola box when coloring. My ex was only interested in the box with 8 crayons. (just a metaphor... I don't think I actually use 64 uh.. variations)

yes girl and then when you whip all that out they got so much negative stuff to say after the fact....even when they were the ones screaming from the rooftops and had a really good orgasm...miss me with all that. You know men want a sweet, innocent, virginal whore. Where they do that at???

There's your operative word. I think you're misunderstanding my experience. He wanted absolute SILENCE....no groans, certainly no words at the height of climax and, no, you don't get excited and ask him to screw you harder because you watch some dirty movies or had a blazened whorish past. If you can't feel your own g-spot, something is terribly wrong with you. It embarassed him. Why?

Mine should have just given himself a handjob. I'm not a porn star, neither am I some horny king kong gorilla. Sex is an act between a couple of people. If you cannot show you like sex, then why have it? Playful and sweet...who said I am not? European women also tend to be less discriminating than American women and easier to bed. Am I going to assume that just any Euro chick is a ho? Nope. Maybe I've misread your intent for saying such but...I'm not going to be ushered into the corner, doubting that I have the human right to enjoy sex and not just lay there like a dead log. Women do have the right to enjoy it and talk about it without negatively comparing themselves to the fantasy of some stupid little man. As for your friend, I don't like him. Why? He's getting free sex without the ring and he's complaining?

@the first bolded...that is not the business! @the second & third bolded, I totally agree with you and often found myself expressing those exact sentiments with my ex-husband. Now, I don't need to because my sex life is off the chain!

OMG he wanted you to be SILENT?

erplexed

I am so so sorry.

this reminds me of that scene from the movie "Bad Teacher" when Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake's characters were together dry humping with their clothes on and she was being vocal and he told her to be quiet.

Sooo... If your in a committed relationship everything is perfect in every other aspect of the relationship. Youve talked in detail about what you like and how you like it; do you "fake" until he makes it?

My thought process is that if his ego is boosted the s*x must improve, right??

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Not really....you're doing them a disservice when you fake it because they're gonna continue with the wack sex game thinking they're doing something when they're really not and it still doesn't solve the problem of you being unsatisfied. I can't speak for everybody else but it makes me resentful to be in that type of situation and eventually I will figure out a way to get me.

Worth reviving and reviewing, seems I'd missed a few posts the 1st time around.

yes ma'am I remember this thread and wonder how I missed all these quotable quotes! I had to double back too...thanks girl!

When I meet my ex, some woman had really hurt his feelings and gave him a complex. It took me a minute to get him to understand that some women will tell a man some very hurtful stuff just to be mean. Once he got over it, the sex was out of this world. We really knew each other and what we liked. We had no problem getting really freaky when warranted, too. I wonder if I'll ever find another man I'm confortable enough with to let the freak in my soul see the sun? I hope so, because I don't even remember what "missionary" is - **sucks teeth** - they still do that??

So true...I had to tell my ex-husband that many times, but he still had his hang-ups and complexes where sex was concerned and never got over it. There's only so much coddling, hand-holding and encouraging a girl can do and still not get hers at the end of the day, at least not with him.

Ummm yes the I can't wait until he leaves so I can pull out the Jack rabbit guy.

I only stuck in there so long because he was good on paper otherwise.

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@ the first bolded....girl where I come from we can't wait until he leaves so we can line something up with Mr. Beat It Up Right....LMMFAO!!!!

@the second bolded....it happens girl I think we have all been there and done that and worn the t-shirt but sometimes you gotta re-evaluate if that piece of paper is worth it. Usually when you have reached your breaking point, it ain't.

 

[greenandchic]

I think how a guy kisses says a lot about how good he is in bed. If he is "limp", unsure, awkward, etc. that will translate in between the sheets. Not just the first nervous kiss, but if you're dating for months and he still kisses like a 12 year old, its not going to be good once you hit the hay.

@mallysmommy ^^^That right there was depressing. This is why I could never ever marry someone with just a hope and a prayer that it was going to be what I wanted and needed.

Hear, hear! Speaking from real life personal experience. Been there, done that and it was sad and pathetic. Never again.

 

[CityGirlLuv]

ETA: Commented in wrong thread.