You start dating a guy that is ashamed of you...

vevster

vevster

Well-Known Member
I saw this girl on Wendy Williams that inspired this question.

If you started dating a guy, had amazing chemistry but he was ashamed / embarrassed because of:

Your weight
Your color etc.

What would you do? Downgrade expectations if the sex is amazing or cut him off?
 
Cut him off! No reason to thing about other options. If we can't be a a couple in the public eye you don't get any private time with me as well. I would feel liked I was a hideous monster kept a secret. That would play on my self esteem after a while.
 
We wouldn't be having sex in the first place. I know/have known many women in this predicament, couldn't be me. #ihavepride
 
I have too much pride. There is nothing a man has that would make me stay with him if he was embarrassed/disgusted/whatever by any physical attribute of mine.
 
What I'm sorry not sorry but we wouldnt even get to a point like that. How would we hqve ben having sex but ole dude ashamed of me? How does they happen
 
That is so hurtful...I would definitely let go. We women (whether we admit it or not) like for our men to be proud of us if anything.
That's like a guy saying something like, "I think youre ugly and very unattractive but I will stay with you anyway."
 
What in the world?! I hope he believes in the supernatural because I'd be so ghost.
 
I'm evil so I would pick one thing he's insecure about and tell him that I can't be seen in public with him either because of that one thing. Then grab your camera so you can take a picture as his jaw hits the floor.
 
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My SO's acquaintance that is lodging with him at the moment "dates" women from POF, but will only meet them around the corner. If they drive here he makes them pick him up from the top of the street:look:. He seems quite worried we will see them.
 
I was talking to a male friend and he revealed a lot of men "secrets" that sound like this scenario.

Men might have sex with an unattractive woman if there's something about her that he likes (big breasts, big butt, etc.) but maybe she's not pretty or not the right size for him. But if she's not good enough to impress his male counterparts (who apparently judge each other by their women) then she will only be a behind the scenes chick.
 
Hairsnob said:
I was talking to a male friend and he revealed a lot of men "secrets" that sound like this scenario.

Men might have sex with an unattractive woman if there's something about her that he likes (big breasts, big butt, etc.) but maybe she's not pretty or not the right size for him. But if she's not good enough to impress his male counterparts (who apparently judge each other by their women) then she will only be a behind the scenes chick.
Click to expand...

Yep. This happens. Sometimes the girl doesn't even know he's ashamed. :nono:

I'll put my ish out here....I sure didn't. I had no idea because I met a few friends. Anyway, if anyone is even has a whiff or notion that the man they are sleeping with don't think you're good enough, ashamed of something about you......run far and fast. No sex is good enough for all that.

In my case, the sex wasn't even good enough to even entertain it. I was just enamored.
 
I'm confused by this question. I mean...wouldn't the man's shame automatically erase any chemistry that could possibly be had? How do you even get to know a person well enough to the point of sleeping with them when you KNOW that they don't want to be seen in public with you? I really don't understand some of these low self-esteem issues.
 
Hairsnob said:
Men might have sex with an unattractive woman if there's something about her that he likes (big breasts, big butt, etc.) but maybe she's not pretty or not the right size for him. But if she's not good enough to impress his male counterparts (who apparently judge each other by their women) then she will only be a behind the scenes chick.
Click to expand...

I laugh at/ignore men who do ish like that. I can look real rough, real easily. One could say that it is my default position. I've had guys act like an *** to me/ignore me in front of their friends then as soon as they're not around, guy will be giving me eyes, lowering his voice, etc. I'm like are you serious, right now?

I feel sorry for any woman who ever accepts a man who acts like that. That's a prostitute. I also ignore men who are rude to me one day because I don't look cute to them, then nice to me when I do. They're always confused as to why I'm not so elated and thankful that they've noticed me now. Again, are these fools serious? Just because you don't find somebody date-worthy, doesn't mean you have to be rude to them.
 
This also applies to female friends as well.

I had a female friend in college that I worked with. I really thought we were going to be friends for a long time. Then I started noticing that she would act weird/rude/stand-offish when she was with her other friends. The last straw is when she brought her family with her (whom she would talk to me about all the time and show me pics of) to our office building. She looked right at me (I was at the info desk where we worked), looked around to see if anyone else was there, and walked right on by. A few days later, she saw me on the school shuttle, sat next to me and started chatting like nothing happened. During that conversation, she also referred to one our mutual acquaintances as ugly and started telling me about how desperate she was.

I went abroad and that was the last time I ever saw her. Kicked her off facebook and she had the nerve to message me multiple times and added me as a friend again. "Lol. Why am I not on your Facebook!?! What happened!!! Lol =)" "Hey lol". Are you serious right now? Had to get rid of FB because too many fake friends wanted to see what I was up to without actually being my friend. Puh-leeze.
 
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Harina said:
This also applies to female friends as well.

I had a female friend in college that I worked with. I really thought we were going to be friends for a long time. Then I started noticing that she would act weird/rude/stand-offish when she was with her other friends. The last straw is when she brought her family with her (whom she would talk to me about all the time and show me pics of) to our office building. She looked right at me (I was at the info desk where we worked), looked around to see if anyone else was there, and walked right on by. A few days later, she saw me on the school shuttle, sat next to me and started chatting like nothing happened. During that conversation, she also referred to one our mutual acquaintances as ugly and started telling me about how desperate she was.

I went abroad and that was the last time I ever saw her. Kicked her off facebook and she had the nerve to message me multiple times and added me as a friend again. "Lol. Why am I not on your Facebook!?! What happened!!! Lol =)" "Hey lol". Are you serious right now? Had to get rid of FB because too many fake friends wanted to see what I was up to without actually being my friend. Puh-leeze.
Click to expand...

I've dealt with a lot of shady people in my short lifetime so unfortunately, I've shared similar experiences to yours. Then again it taught me to choose my friends better. As for the male situation, I don't pay them any mind when they do that too.
 
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If he s ASHAMED of me he can ...go to the left.I would not waste ONE minute of my precious time with someone like that ,see it's very simple ,if he s ashamed he doesnt like you nor respect you enough to overcome whatever is blocking him . Next !
Hairsnob what you said makes sense .
In my experience looks is so darn overrated .
Personally ,i find intelligent men very attractive ,I never gave too much importance to looks as eventually you get used to it. I need to be mentally stimulated . A good looking man with no brain is such a waste of good genes lol.
All my friends and family used to love one of my ex's , he was an ex athlete very good looking ,6'5" muscular built ,beautiful face ,great smile ,charming. I got so much pressure when i broke up with him ,I was literally verbally abused by family and friends cuz "we looked so good together "..:nono:
I still get the random comparison ...Oh but he was so much better looking than DH .:look:
 
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