You married a man with kids...
- Thread starter DayStar
- Start date
GodsPromises
The Credit Countess
Well I'm not much help because all of my step children are grown but I do treat my step grandchildren like they are mine. I am MaMa to all of them and I love them 100%. In fact I show pictures I say here are pictures of my grandchildren not my husbands grandchildren.
Pat Mahurr
Pun intended
Make it 50.
J/k.
I love my stepkids as much as you can love kids that aren't your responsibility, if that makes sense (they live with their mother). I kind of feel like a godmother to them
-- if anything happens to their mother, I'll raise them and do so with love and will try to honor their mother's memory. And I have enough love to go around. 
But I do love them differently. I love my stepkids because I want to; I love my daughter because it's instictive and built-in to being her mother. 
J/k.
I love my stepkids as much as you can love kids that aren't your responsibility, if that makes sense (they live with their mother). I kind of feel like a godmother to them
-- if anything happens to their mother, I'll raise them and do so with love and will try to honor their mother's memory. And I have enough love to go around. But I do love them differently. I love my stepkids because I want to; I love my daughter because it's instictive and built-in to being her mother. 
Farida
Well-Known Member
I haven't married a man with kids but my friend married a man with one kid.
What a fiasco! The biggest problem they have is their parenting styles. She and the dad are really strict and conservative and the kid's mom is very laid-back almost hippie.
She loves the kid and treats him as one of her own, but I don't really think you can love the kid as you do your own. She has 5 of her own. Or perhaps let me rephrase and say you can't "like" them as much as your own.
What a fiasco! The biggest problem they have is their parenting styles. She and the dad are really strict and conservative and the kid's mom is very laid-back almost hippie.
She loves the kid and treats him as one of her own, but I don't really think you can love the kid as you do your own. She has 5 of her own. Or perhaps let me rephrase and say you can't "like" them as much as your own.
prettypuff1
New Member
I think depends.... If the kids are living full time with you, then u should step in and act as a parent. I would leave big choices for the hubby to tell the kids, but still be there and supportive. If the kids don't live with u but come every other weekend, then just police them while they are there with u, but leave big choices to the parents. I would act like the fun aunt. There to police accordingly, but to get to know them but nothing heavy.....
It can be done, you just have to unite with ur man and stand firm as a couple.
It can be done, you just have to unite with ur man and stand firm as a couple.
GodMadeMePretty
Well-Known Member
My husband had one child and she lived with him. We've been married for 5 years and been together for 10 so I've been a part of her life since she was 9. Since I was closer (geographically) than her mother, it was just natural that I act as her parent.
My hubby told me that I treated her differently than I treat our daughter. And I told him that I do because there is a ten year age difference between them. One got treated like a child and the other got treated like a teenager. He, on the other hand, treated them exactly the same - like babies.
There were a number of things that we butted heads about. I thought they needed to change because these things were going to hinder her when she left for college. He didn't think it was that big a deal. I deferred to him in that respect. But I don't tell him "I told you so" since that would be sooooo wrong.
My hubby told me that I treated her differently than I treat our daughter. And I told him that I do because there is a ten year age difference between them. One got treated like a child and the other got treated like a teenager. He, on the other hand, treated them exactly the same - like babies.
There were a number of things that we butted heads about. I thought they needed to change because these things were going to hinder her when she left for college. He didn't think it was that big a deal. I deferred to him in that respect. But I don't tell him "I told you so" since that would be sooooo wrong.
chickory_bee
Active Member
My SO has a daughter, and while she is very well behaved, if she steps outta line, I won't hesitate to "GUIDE HER BACK", it takes a village to raise a child, and I believe that if you let things slide and wait for him, you'll have an avalanche...
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