Would You Tell Her..

[THicknLong]

So my neighbor and I have gotten really close throughout the last year. I knew her ex baby daddy before we meet, seeing as we worked together. I had an ex boyfriend reach out to me in regards to an incident her BD was involved in. Ladies this is where the situation got messy. A co worker of mine knew I knew the BD, she goes to tell me he has HIV and that he got it from his cousin EX WIFE. How do I even approach this situation??.. I have ran into her BD many times out with women I knew. I never put it out there, because I do not like to get into domestic issues. My heart hurts for her, seeing as she is head over heels with this man. She would not let him go. I also know she slept with him a week ago, now whether it has been protected, I don't know. I feel as a woman she should go an get tested.

 

[RocStar]

I would never share items like this that I got from some hearsay information. You don't know what is true.

 

[THicknLong]

Let me rephrase it came from a family member. My co worker is actually a reliable source. I won't go into the details of that. Based on what I know regarding the Baby Daddy. Makes me very scared about even going their regarding this info. I have known at least 2 women out side of her he has been with. I am not wanting to tell her his STATUS.. I am wanting to know how, do I go about telling her to get tested.

I would never share items like this that I got from some hearsay information. You don't know what is true.

 

[lesedi]

maybe write an anonymous letter? She has to know. You just don't need to be the one to tell her because this will end badly for you.

 

[THicknLong]

Thank you!.. That may be the best answer yet. We hangout together and have really gotten to know each other, she has a great heart. I know she has no family here in the city we live in. I pray that he did not put her in that situation.

maybe write an anonymous letter? She has to know. You just don't need to be the one to tell her because this will end badly for you.

 

[natural2008]

Type up the letter so the hand writing cannot traced back to you for some strange reason.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Type up the letter so the hand writing cannot traced back to you for some strange reason.

Find a way to get an anonymous typed letter to her urging her to get tested so it cannot be traced back to you.

 

[Evolving78]

Just leave her anonymous note in her mailbox and tell her to get tested right away. It will freak her the hell out and she will probably do it.

 

[Evolving78]

Find a way to get an anonymous typed letter to her urging her to get tested so it cannot be traced back to you.

I said the same thing! Yeah OP, I think this is the best way.

 

[LdyKamz]

I can never follow a story like this. I know he's the baby daddy but is he an ex? Did the coworker tell you this story or did the coworker tell your ex boyfriend and he told you? I guess it doesn't matter just confused about that part. Anyway, if you are close to this woman and the baby daddy is an ex why not just have a talk with her in a "girl I hope you're protecting yourself since y'all not together kind of thing". I wouldn't get too involved myself but if she was my friend and I knew they were't really together but still messing around I would just have a casual chat with her to make sure she's protecting herself.

 

[Shimmie]

Tell her! Save her life! Losing a friend via a possible death sentence is far worse than losing a friend as a buddy. Tell her! Save her life! She needs to be shaken and awakened. Stat!

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I would tell her face to face. This is potentially life threatening. She needs to understand this is serious. I’m not opposed to anonymous letters but they’re too easy to dismiss as someone playing games or people being jealous especially if she’s head over heels about him. If she was a stranger I’d be more inclined to fall back but I wouldn’t do that to a friend.

 

[beingofserenity]

Please tell her.

Tell her to make him get tested.

This is one of my worst fears ever. If it were me, I would appreciate it. Even if she gets upset, still tell her. I wouldn't bother writing up a letter, I would just tell her. I would even confront him in front of her to try to force him into needing to prove he is clean, but I am messy that way, I don't care.

Please, please tell her. This is horrible. if true. If not, it's embarrassing, but oh well better safe than sorry.

 

[awhyley]

Anonymous letters get thrown away as messages from haters. Coming from you, she may take it more seriously and get tested. If you care, talk to her. Even if she doesn't take it well, your conscience is clear.

 

[lana]

When you tell her, just be prepared to lose the friendship.

If it were me, you would become my best friend, cause I appreciate the truth and loyalty.

 

[intellectualuva]

If it were me, I would want to know. I would cry and be hurt, embarrassed that you know this information and I let myself get exposed, but I would appreciate it.

And I wouldn't care about losing a friendship if I thought for one second I could save a black woman's life. While I get the anonymous letter is a good strategy, it's an unnecessary step if this someone you consider a friend on any level.

 

[biznesswmn]

If she finds out that you knew... And didnt tell her... Woo chile

 

[DarkJoy]

were it me in your place, it wouldn' be a question of should I tell, but how.

Its not just her life, but many seeing as how he's a dirty dyck psychopathic and sociopathic whore. And the children that could be motherless... my god! why blackistan is blackistan because ppl let **** like thesd agents of a plague continue.

I hope she accepts the truth and files charges for attempted murder.

 

[PeaceLover]

If yon don’t want to write a letter text her from a fake number.

 

[Evolving78]

Yeah just tell her.

 

[LostInAdream]

You have to tell her because you know. There’s really no easy way to tell someone this kind of information. Just be prepared she may not be your friend after you tell her. I’ve been in your shoes but it was herpes, the “friend” stopped speaking to me and went on to marry this guy. He had a baby on her within the first year of marriage.

 

[onyxdreams]

I agree with everyone, you need to tell her and be prepared for her not to speak to you. You also need to prepare for the guys reaction.
Your trusted source put you in a prickly spot by dumping this problem on you. The source should be involved in saving this woman!

 

[qchelle]

If it were my friend, I'd tell her face to face. I wouldn't care about losing a friendship cuz of this. This is too important. And me and my friends hate each other sometimes anyway.

 

[Evolving78]

I agree with everyone, you need to tell her and be prepared for her not to speak to you. You also need to prepare for the guys reaction.
Your trusted source put you in a prickly spot by dumping this problem on you. The source should be involved in saving this woman!

Yeah what was the person’s purpose that told OP? Was it to be informative, or just to gossip?

 

[Sosoothing]

Would you not want someone to tell you?
This is a matter of life and death and every day that passes is precious and a chance they may have sex again. I think you should tell her ASAP whatever method you choose. Actually, I hope you have already told her coz it's been days since you posted this.

 

[God_Favor]

Ex baby daddy? What does this mean, they found out that a child was not his?

I agree with the annyomus letter . Can you email her from a public place so that she can not trace your IP address? I would go to a public library to send it.

Even if it just a rumor , getting tested is always a good thing.

 

[THicknLong]

I would say the person that told me was to be informative. When she told me, it was because, when we spoke about the incident, she informed her relationship with both parties and how she would have married a family member. Just wanted my friend to know that she may or may not have been infected.

Yeah what was the person’s purpose that told OP? Was it to be informative, or just to gossip?

 

[THicknLong]

Sorry I meant to say Baby Daddy.

Ex baby daddy? What does this mean, they found out that a child was not his?

I agree with the annyomus letter . Can you email her from a public place so that she can not trace your IP address? I would go to a public library to send it.

Even if it just a rumor , getting tested is always a good thing.

 

[THicknLong]

Ladies, we only spoke through text message this weekend. I am going to see if she wants to meet up to hang out, since my birthday is tomorrow. I am nervous.

 

[ShortyDooWhop]

Can you Anonymously report him to the health department and identify her as possibly being exposed? I ask because whether this turns out to be true or false, once you tell her and she tells him you’re the source, he may come looking for you.