Would you stop seeing/dating someone who is not as educated as you?

[ambergirl]

Unless the heavens parted and the angels sang when you met this man, I would not advise any 20 year old to get too serious with anyone. On the rare occassion people meet "the one" at that age, but usually not.

That aside, it's not about the degree, it's about shared goals, values, and a common trajectory in life.

You already know the answer and it's not to get too serious with this guy at this time, if it's meant to be it will happen in its own good time.

I would just keep it light and simple.

 

[BKbeauty]

You said this guy wants to be a police officer, who's to say 20 years from now he isn't the chief of police, or a lawyer, or a judge? 20 or even 24 years old is still very young and very few of us know exactly where we are going end up. As some one who has 2 undergraduate degrees and starting a graduate degree, I can say that a BA is highly overrated and is not really indicative of anything in terms of ambition, and drive.

 

[butter_pecan]

Run OP! I had two failed relationships and a lot of heart ache behind a similar situation.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

It's funny you posted this. My neighbor, a BW, has her Masters. Her husband is an ex-marine and now a police officer. They seem very happy together and I can tell she respects her husband. He really cares for her, provides for her, and acts like he's the head of the household. When I see her with him, I can tell she's really happy and proud of him. If she had held out only for someone who has a Masters degree, she might not have done as well. But, if every time you look at him you will be looking down at him because he doesn't have your degree, then you should let him go. It's not fair to him or to you.

I'm not saying if you don't go any further, that will make you wrong because there's no right or wrong in this situation.

A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love to cook.

The 2nd floor has wives that love to cook and love sex.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited....

 

[**SaSSy**]

Lord chile, you're only 20 yrs old and you're worrying about a future with him already. At least he's working on a associates. You shouldn't take the advice of breaking up with him to heart, give it sometime. He might be a police chief one day and you'll be kicking yourself cause someone on here said to break up with him.

Sent from my lavish iPhone

 

[TayMac]

Lord chile, you're only 20 yrs old and you're worrying about a future with him already. At least he's working on a associates. You shouldn't take the advice of breaking up with him to heart, give it sometime. He might be a police chief one day and you'll be kicking yourself cause someone on here said to break up with him.

Sent from my lavish iPhone

Well she should let him go to find his true match and not give another thought . She already has stated how she it bothers her that they are at two different points in their lives and his pathway is different. Both working on a degree nevertheless.

 

[prettyinpurple]

Do whatever feels right for you. I understand that it's nice to be with someone who shares that college experience with you.

But be honest and say it's about the education level, not for his earning power. Plenty of police officers make more than enough to support their families. Add overtime and it's even more. SN: I thought a lot of police depts require a bachelor's degree now. Have you checked out their benefits (including retirement) too? I'm just saying, don't knock it w/o getting the entire picture.

Also a Ph.D is a great accomplishment, but it's not a financial god-send for many areas of study. He'll be making a lot more money than someone in grad school for 7-10 years than fighting to get tenure after that (if you go the academic route).

Anyways you're still young and I know a lot of that stuff seems far away. However please knock the superiority bit down a few notches. I'm sure that I went through the same stage during college and right afterwards but real life kicked in lol. Just look around at your classmates, you're not the only one with these amazing opportunities and life experiences.

P.S. I'd have to see him become a police officer before I'd consider marrying him IF the relationship went in that direction. Don't hang around if he's not serious.

 

[Mortons]

Go with your gut and what you see in your future.

Personally, the more education I get the less degree seems to matter to me in my dating game.

 

[StarScream35]

This seems to be the case with so many black men that we are forced to date many of these types. I've been there done that and 9 outta 10 times it doesn't work.

 

[StarScream35]

I tried that before and it didn't work out. I was dating someone with a AA and I was completing my Masters degree and a manager at a company. He had a blue collar job with no type of ambition or goals. It was a issue and frustrating because he just wasn't goal oriented at all and wasn't striving to be more then just what he was and we are both in our 30's. And he wanted to marry me, so yes I was EVERYTHING that he wanted, but he wasn't EVERYTHING i wanted. And then also you have to think about even though $$ isn't all that but its the #1 reason why people get divorced. And if you are on the road to higher education and a career it maybe put you in the place where you will be the bread winner and always making more money, especially since he hasn't established a career or doesnt have the ambition or goals to be more at 24, especially if you and him get married.

So if he doesn't have the ambition or the goals to strive for more in his 20's just imagine how it will be in his 30's.

Also my question would be what was he doing all this time and now that he is 24 years old and just now starting to work on a Associates degree? For the time that he was in the world he didn't realize the importance of having some type of degree in order for him to advance.

But I would just say if thats a major factor in you dating someone then just go ahead and end it now before it becomes more frustrating for you down the line.

I couldn't agree more. When all is said and done their lack of ambition surfaces and it causes major problems. I have found that many of these types of men are beta males and will depend on you to always bring home the bacon. That ish will get old quick.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Do whatever feels right for you. I understand that it's nice to be with someone who shares that college experience with you.

But be honest and say it's about the education level, not for his earning power. Plenty of police officers make more than enough to support their families. Add overtime and it's even more. SN: I thought a lot of police depts require a bachelor's degree now. Have you checked out their benefits (including retirement) too? I'm just saying, don't knock it w/o getting the entire picture.


P.S. I'd have to see him become a police officer before I'd consider marrying him IF the relationship went in that direction. Don't hang around if he's not serious.

My cousin is a police officer and you do not need a BS/BA for that. Also I thought that policemen were underpaid so not sure about making bank. But I agree with the last point, wait until he becomes a full-fledged officer. I think police officers are strange folks.

But if it bothers you already just keep him in your rotation. You are only 20 no need to be thinking about settling down already.

 

[Layluh]

Just keep him on the backburner OP. Don't take everything so seriously. He may not be a good bf but you never know what you can learn from someone.

 

[MsSanz92]

Just keep him on the backburner OP. Don't take everything so seriously. He may not be a good bf but you never know what you can learn from someone.

I have; I appreciate his friendship. There are other reasons why I'm apprehensive with being with him one being my age, and certain things about his character, but the education thing has proven to already be a source of conflict. This might not be an issue in the future, but for now I don't foresee this working. You are right I am also only 20 and I already felt pressure to be a certain "model" of wife in training which quite frankly I am not ready for.

 

[LoveisYou]

Intelligence is an attribute I value and need in a man. I love to engage in thought-provoking discussions and I need a man who can hold his own. I don't care if you didn't get your education through the traditional route, but you need to be educated. Honestly I think self-education is key whether or not you have a traditional degree. He needs to be decently well read and he needs to know what's going on in the world. We need to be able to converse beyond the surface, in fact, I can't do surface relationships. I love and appreciate a great mind.