Would You Spill The Beans Or Head For The Hills?

[okange76]

So, I was listening to a Naija talk show The Pepper Talk Show on FB and one of the callers dialed in with a question.

She knows this couple who are both very close to her. They are married with 3kids and she says the guy is an awesome father.

The wife confided in her that none of their 3 kids belong to the husband.

The husband confided that one day when he was sick of his wife treating him like ish, he walked out and was gone for a week. He cheated for the first time, had a one night stand and got the woman pregnant. He doesn't want her to keep the baby because he's afraid to hurt his wife.

The caller knows the side chick and encouraged her to keep the baby. She's having complications and is on bed rest. The caller has been helping her with medical bills and other bills.

The caller wants to know if she should just bring both of them together and spill the beans or if she should just keep her mouth shut and wait for ish to hit the fan.

The guy host said that she should spill the beans because as a man, taking care of kids that are not yours is the greatest insult and that by keeping quiet, she is going against God and the teachings of how marriage should be,

One lady host said that the caller is way too invested in their marriage and that she should mind her business, fall back and let the marriage unravel on its own. She should be quiet and if the wife causes problems about the outside kid, only then can she speak up and spill the beans.

The second lady host didn't really give advice. She was stuck on the fact that all 3 kids did not belong to the husband.

The general consensus was that the caller should continue helping the baby mama till she has the kid.

Majority of the callers said, that she should use wisdom and find a way to let the guy know so that he can do a DNA test. One suggested an anonymous note, another one said she should tell the wife to tell hubby about the kids or she would tell him.

Personally I would stay out of it to avoid being shot as the Messenger. Two people who share a bed, should be left alone to sort their own issues. They can decide to make up and you are the one who will be left looking stupid.

If this was you, what would you do?

 

[sarumoki]

The caller is messy af.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Whoa. Talk about messy. Is the wife actively cheating? How are none of the kids his? Do they have the same pappy?

Why is the woman so invested in this situation? I can see listening while the side chick vents but why is she helping her financially?

The guy ain’t that bright. He doesn’t wanna know the truth.

 

[frizzy]

Get new friends.

ETA--No way would I get involved in this hornet's nest of a rlp.

 

[curlicarib]

I'd get my popcorn and iced tea, sit back and watch the whole thing come apart without any help from me.

It's not my business so I'm staying out of it. Now, if it was my brother in this mess supporting kids that ain't his, I'd have a conversation with him. I wouldn't tell him that they weren't his kids, but I'd plant a seed and water it. I'd also encourage him to get DNA tests.

 

[LdyKamz]

This person doesn't care about any of the people involved and is probably happy to be wrapped up in some drama like this. If she was smart she would remove herself from the situation altogether, instead she further involves herself by helping out the pregnant one night stand. She is a meddlesome woman just itching for trouble.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Mind my business and get new friends, don't need that type of trife energy in my life.

 

[mrselle]

Caller needs to keep her mouth shut and let the chips fall where they may. I don't understand people who are drawn to drama and make it their business to keep it going.

 

[LovelyRo]

Disassociate from everybody... wth

 

[awhyley]

So is the woman caller in love with this woman's man? That's the only reason I see her being this involved, esp. funding the side chick's pregnancy. She's assuming that if he's doesn't want to end the marriage over the wife's infidelity, that the wife will be the hypocrite and end it over his cheating. Either way, she swoops in to 'clean up' the situation. Too many questions, too many lies. Hope that she calls in again

The guy host said that she should spill the beans because as a man, taking care of kids that are not yours is the greatest insult and that by keeping quiet, she is going against God and the teachings of how marriage should be.

Is it surprising that God always gets a mention (by a male) when men are being treated unfairly?

 

[huxtable]

Meddlesome woman probably encouraged the side chick to keep the baby so the man will at least have a biological child after all the dust settles.

Meddlesome woman probably cares in some messed up way. If she wanted the man for herself she would not have encouraged side chick to keep the baby.

 

[huxtable]

Also, I don't know how these women can get men to wear "jackets" so easily. Don't these men have mothers or other female relatives? Even if the child looks the spit of the mother, there is always something there of the other side of the family, even if it is just a toenail.

 

[weaveadiva]

Now, if it was my brother in this mess supporting kids that ain't his, I'd have a conversation with him. I wouldn't tell him that they weren't his kids, but I'd plant a seed and water it. I'd also encourage him to get DNA tests.

If it were a family member, your brother at that, why wouldn't you just outright tell him?

 

[Fine 4s]

I'd encourage both sides to do what they believe is right and let it be.
Not my place to bring anybody together, that's literally forcing the matter to come to a head.
It will come out but not on my terms. Let grown folks handle grown folks business....

This moral high grown thing smdh....

 

[SurferBabe]

I'm just wondering how long this caller has been sleeping with this woman's husband? No married man is doing all of that confiding in a woman unless he is grooming her to be his mistress. Maybe she is the pregnant sidechick.

 

[curlicarib]

Not sure. You know how family is sometimes. I told my cousin, that I grew up with like a sister, that her no account husband was hitting on me and she accused me of hitting on him. She was mad at me for a couple of years. When she found out that he was sleeping with three other women and had a tribe of children, she divorced him. She never apologized to me. Just carried on acting like she never accused me of such disgusting behavior. So, I not sure that I would tell him outright. Some things it's just better that you figure out yourself. But I'm not above guiding someone to the truth.

If it were a family member, your brother at that, why wouldn't you just outright tell him?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Too invested. Married folks should not be coming to her about their marriage and how she know the side chick too? Enough to help with bills and all? She's not a friend of the wife and doing that. Just grimy.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

So is the woman caller in love with this woman's man? That's the only reason I see her being this involved, esp. funding the side chick's pregnancy. She's assuming that if he's doesn't want to end the marriage over the wife's infidelity, that the wife will be the hypocrite and end it over his cheating. Either way, she swoops in to 'clean up' the situation. Too many questions, too many lies. Hope that she calls in again



Is it surprising that God always gets a mention (by a male) when men are being treated unfairly?

But him having an OOW child doesn't count though, lol. He probably knows and this was his payback.

 

[frizzy]

I wonder if the wife's kids have the same father? Probably not!!

Wouldn't that be something to tell the judge in divorce court..... that your wife has 3 baby daddies since you've been married.

 

[IslandMummy]

A girl knows nothing

 

[Fine 4s]

@curlicarib

College days, a girl I was close to and really liked got mad at me because her man told her that (let's see if I can remember) that I asked him to walk me to my dorm one night. I don't remember if I did or didn't to be 100 but I remember feeling like I had been betrayed and lied on. Can't remember if she asked me if it was true or if I was defending myself etc. Fast forward, he was a sleaze and I wish we could have stayed friends. If ever I see her, I'ma say remember that time.....so not above that ish. That's why you are good! I would have BEEN reminded her and make it sound like a lesson too. Like....remember blah blah blah...this is why you should blah blah blah. AND she my cousin too? I'd give it raw.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'd also like to add that I think someone in this story is related. Either the wife and side chick. The caller and the wife. Something. Too much closeness.....

 

[huxtable]

I'd also like to add that I think someone in this story is related. Either the wife and side chick. The caller and the wife. Something. Too much closeness.....

This is what I thought. I think the caller is the man's cousin and the wife is her best friend. That side chick's baby is her blood.

 

[caribeandiva]

Messy messy messy


Caller needs to stop supporting the pregnant side chick and stay out of this mess entirely.

 

[curlicarib]

I'm all about giving it raw, but sometimes you have to decide if it's worth it. To me, this fight isn't worth it. She knows the truth. That all that matters to me. I'm mad that it took about 2 years out of her life for her to have her come to Jesus moment, but at least she got there. The thought of her being stuck with that pig for the rest of her life? Now THAT was truly hurtful to me.

@curlicarib

College days, a girl I was close to and really liked got mad at me because her man told her that (let's see if I can remember) that I asked him to walk me to my dorm one night. I don't remember if I did or didn't to be 100 but I remember feeling like I had been betrayed and lied on. Can't remember if she asked me if it was true or if I was defending myself etc. Fast forward, he was a sleaze and I wish we could have stayed friends. If ever I see her, I'ma say remember that time.....so not above that ish. That's why you are good! I would have BEEN reminded her and make it sound like a lesson too. Like....remember blah blah blah...this is why you should blah blah blah. AND she my cousin too? I'd give it raw.

 

[Fine 4s]

@curlicarib That's the high road that I aspire to travel down. But for now oooooohhhhhh I'm telling! lol
I'm still growing

 

[curlicarib]

I feel ya Sis!

@curlicarib That's the high road that I aspire to travel down. But for now oooooohhhhhh I'm telling! lol
I'm still growing