Would You Marry A Man or Woman..for that matter...

[deltadreamland]

That has over $30,000 in back child support for his 26 year old son? That was in thousands of dollars worth of debt to the IRS? That was constantly bailing his family out financially? He has 2 daughters, one is 8 and the other is 13, I believe. He's been married once and has a baby mama that is not very happy about his upcoming nuptials.

This is the situation my best friend is about to marry into. She has a good job and great credit.This is her first marriage and she's pouring over $10,000+ into an elaborate wedding with him.

In his defense and from what I have observed, he does appear to be a good father and a wonderful SO to my friend. (from what I can observe, he really loves her). But in your opinion, is that enough to equate to a happy marriage?

Should his financial obligations be ignored because he's a good man? Will his financial issues affect her once they are married? We talked and I wasn't sure if his child support and IRS issues would come back to haunt her after the marriage.

 

[lesedi]

Finance is important. those issues will affect their marriage and her credit at some point. I'm not going to say she shouldn't marry him but these issues need to sorted out before the white dress goes on.

 

[SmileyNY]

No.

And if she really loved him & didn't want to get married just for show, she would pour that 10 grand onto his debt... b/c after they get married, it's her debt too.

Or, better yet, spend that 10 grand on a lawyer who could draw up an iron-clad prenup so that his creditors cannot come after her income.

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[Windsy]

I couldn't and wouldn't do it....this is for me.

Finance is hella important for me and when we become married, his financial issues becomes my financial issues and financial issues is probably the number 1 stressor in a marriage.

 

[Ediese]

No thanks. I'll pass.

 

[deltadreamland]

I cringed when she told me about the $30,000 in back child support for a manchild that is damn near thirty years old.

 

[ommns]

It depends. What is HE doing to fix his finances? Does he have a 2nd job? Also, is he paying child support for his two other kids because if he is not, then this problem will get bigger.

Although it is not my ideal situation, I would get married to him ONLY if he is trying his best to fix his situation.

I know a woman who is single and owed a lot of money to creditors - almost $80K and she paid it off by herself, so if this man is willing to work hard and fix these problems, i would consider marrying him. But we would have to talk a lot about budgeting and managing money.

 

[Renewed1]

No.

And if she really loved him & didn't want to get married just for show, she would pour that 10 grand onto his debt... b/c after they get married, it's her debt too.

Or, better yet, spend that 10 grand on a lawyer who could draw up an iron-clad prenup so that his creditors cannot come after her income.

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The above is the best advice for your friend. She should pull his credit report to see if he has any other debt that she doesn't know about. Obviously, dude is HORRIBLE with money. For me, that is a deal breaker, we all have issues when it comes to spending/saving but too much of a saver and too much of a spender is not a good thing.