Would you date your ex's friend?

[jaiku]

I'm just curious, would you date your ex's friend? Would you tell your ex about it? What you approach the friend or would he have to approach you? Do you think this is morally wrong?

 

[FlowerHair]

Only if he was the love of my life (the new guy).


Otherwise - never

 

[gone_fishing]

NEVER EVER EVER!!!

There are 3 billion men on the planet and at least 1 million of them will give you less drama than THAT situation.

 

[winterinatl]

I always thought never ever but...

...if he and the ex aren't friends anymore, I might
...if said ex and I are not on speaking terms or friends I might
...if he is otherwise a 'good candidate'
...if he is mature and not trying to prove something to the ex (trying to hurt him someway).

There is one friend of one ex that I am interested in, partially b/c of the above listed factors. He's big and handsome and we were friends while ex and I were together, I know him pretty well. He tried to warn me about said ex. I know that ex and I will NEVER be permanently together; so why should I deny myself a good man to spare his feelings? I won't; I'd date him, but it must not be casual.

 

[Aidenberry03]

Probably not!!!. I dont want to get shot. (For Real!!!!)

 

[AmilLion]

Never ever ever in a million years. There's that code that you just don't break - and that's one of them.

 

[tatje]

No.......I don't need the trouble

 

[Browndilocks]

Nope. That's nasty.

 

[CurliDiva]

There are way too many other men in the world to double dip in the same pool of friends.......same would go for brothers.... expand your network if needed!

It always killed me how they had so called friends swapping partners on tv shows!

 

[Zeal]

Never ever ever in a million years. There's that code that you just don't break - and that's one of them.

Agreed!

That is just one of those rules etched in stone.

 

[ladylibra_30]

no. my ex doesn't have any friends that i find remotely attractive in any way, shape, or form. j/k

i wouldn't do it...feels too weird. besides, i wouldn't want it to happen to me.

 

[Shardonay11]

NEVER EVER EVER!!!

There are 3 billion men on the planet and at least 1 million of them will give you less drama than THAT situation.

I agree, men talk just as much as we do. They get a kick out of "passing girls around" unless you want hi-five celebrations over how the both of them had you. I'd say leave that one alone.

 

[Syrah]

I'm just curious, would you date your ex's friend? Would you tell your ex about it? What you approach the friend or would he have to approach you? Do you think this is morally wrong?

I voted "I Never Thought About it" for 2 reasons:
I would like to say from a moral perspective, I would never go there, but honestly, I don't know.

With my ex - none of his friends are even worth consideration so that answers that question...

 

[MrsQueeny]

I did it back in high school and the relationship lasted for over a year. My ex was a straight up jerk, and lied, and dogged me out. I did it at first to get back at him but then me and the other guy really hit it off. Oh well, I was young and dumb. But now, that is something I would never do esp since dh and I have pretty much the same male and female friends. Q

 

[Poobity]

I agree, men talk just as much as we do. They get a kick out of "passing girls around" unless you want hi-five celebrations over how the both of them had you. I'd say leave that one alone.

Exactly! There's no point in inviting unnecessary drama into your life.

 

[jaiku]

This question was a spin off from a conversation I had with my boyfriend. He said that if we broke up he didn't see anything wrong with dating one of my friends. erplexed And he said he didn't feel it was necessary to inform me unless it got real serious. I wouldn't care if he dated one of my friends I just wouldn't want to find out from someone other than him or her.

I know in high school and college their was a code not to date your friends ex's ; but I new chicks that would try to latch on to every guy to prevent you from getting them. I was just wondering if this rule held true as an adult.

 

[e$h]

NOPE. I'm straight.

 

[caribeandiva]

if his friends were hot, i'd do it. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes so there's no problem there. i wouldn't date a him just because he's my ex's friend though. i'd do it if we had real chemistry. hey you don't choose who you click with. it just happens.

 

[Reslnt1]

Yes I would..if we were able to build a good enough rapport that would even lead to him asking me out then .......yes i would date him...why should i possibly pass up a chance at happiness...I dont mix my friends and my b/f's so it would be very possible for one of my friends to date a guy that i used to date and not know it for a while....so would i expct her to dump him...No.....life is too short to have all these rules and restrictions....besides the other guy is your ex b/c you guys werent compatible...

 

[audacious1]

I agree, men talk just as much as we do. They get a kick out of "passing girls around" unless you want hi-five celebrations over how the both of them had you. I'd say leave that one alone.

Aint that the truth.


I've learned that you shouldn't talk to, let alone be intimate with anyone in the same social circle. My freshmen year, I talked to two guys who went to a different school, and one I knew as an in a fraternity, and the other one didn't tell me immediately because he was trying to stay shy of "groupies." It turned out that they were LBs---- And stupid me... I continued talking to both of them, thinking it was okay because that's TALKING was all that went down. I guess they found out after talking to each other about me for whatever reason But I still got put on blast via facebook. I think someone put on their facebook page something to the extent of "any girl who talks to people in the same social circle is a hoe."

I didn't even take it there with either one of them, so imagine if I did.

But if it was someone I casually dated (3 months or less) and enough time passed (say a year or two), I'd do it.

 

[buttaflye03]

If it was an ex from waaayyy back in the day, then yes.

 

[ChanelNo5]

I'm just started seeing the ex-best friend of an old flame.

This is a little different though.....he died 2 years ago.

 

[fmnnity]

Yep sure would.

 

[Starian]

Interesting responses.

My DH was my ex's friend before I knew him.

My ex isn't thinking about me, and my DH and I aren't thinking about him. We all get along fine, although we aren't all bosom buddies or anything. There is no wierdness.

Besides if we follow all these "rules" how do you know who's really right for you? You may be x'ing out a decent man based on principal.

All the men I've dated have been gamers/arcade hoes and the gaming community in my area assures that everyone knows everybody. All my boyfriends knew each other. (I was also very young...youth character flaw, perhaps?)

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was being passed around like a joint...they didn't have much to say since I wasn't doing anything with them. "Yeah man, you held her hand last week?" "Yeah dog, I got a kiss on the cheek when I was with her..."

I don't see what the big deal is. If you're not with your ex why would you or him care who's dating who? Seems a bit selfish to me.

Friend: Oh, me and John have such a connection! Do you mind if we date?
You: *can't stand John because he was a 1 minute brotha and stayed broke* No. You can't do that to me.
Friend: But why? You don't even like him!
You: Because friends don't date other friend's exes.

Really now? Your friend has to be unhappy and possibly pass up the lover of her life because it wierds you out?

I need to go to bed...caffiene gives me the rambles...

 

[SouthernJewel]

Interesting responses.




Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was being passed around like a joint...they didn't have much to say since I wasn't doing anything with them. "Yeah man, you held her hand last week?" "Yeah dog, I got a kiss on the cheek when I was with her..."

I don't see what the big deal is. If you're not with your ex why would you or him care who's dating who? Seems a bit selfish to me.

Especially if it wasn't serious. Serious =

If it was serious?

 

[Much2much41]

I did once. I didn't care much for the ex before, during, or after the relationship, but I figured I'd give it a shot because he wouldn't take no for answer. We dated a month or two, then split. I got up with his friend (he was FIONE!!!!), but that didn't work out. I don't think I'd do it again, especially with to a man I really have feelings for.

 

[life_is_great]

I've done this, don't think I'd do it again.

Shortly after my divorce I started seeing an acquaintance of my ex-husband's. Things were going really well between us until one day while we were going to lunch, my ex-husband saw us in the car together. My ex called me yelling and screaming and calling me everything under the sun. His friend saw how upset I was, so HE decided to back off b/c he said I wasn't over my ex yet.

 

[Caramela]

I wouldn't. I know Ex's take it kinda hard. I myspace flirted with an ex's friend and the ex stopped speaking to me over it

 

[StrawberryQueen]

I sure would.

 

[Sosoothing]

I would if I felt he was a good catch I would. Hell, even if I just felt he was a good f***K.
Most of my ex's and i arent friends anyway. If they want to sit around and hi-five each other about how they both had me- I can sit around and hi-five my girlfriends about how i had them both too . All that sexist stuff doesnt bother me or make me feel any less of a proper woman.