Would you be mad if a guy you were dating complimented another woman?

[Bmack]

On the other hand, would it depend on what the compliment was?

A guy friend of mine was telling me his girlfriend got upset because they were talking on the phone, and he said he likes Mariah Carey. His girlfriend says, me too she can really sing.

He says, yeah and she has a good body.

His girlfriend tells him goodnight and was annoyed. I told him that was pretty lame of him, but he is like he cannot see why she was annoyed. I told him it is not what he said its how he said it. I think he could have just said she is pretty or attractive. What is your take?

My husband said it was lame.

 

[Filmatic]

That seems petty on the side of the gf to me. I was thinking this was a woman in real life that he stopped and said something to. Who isn't attracted to a celeb nowadays. He didn't say all the nasty things he would do to MC.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Um...how old is she?

My ex and I would go back and forth with it all of the time. We'd be watching TV and he'd be all 'Wooo, (insert celeb here) is so fine'. I'd agree with him and I'd go on and on about some male celeb. We'd have fun with it so I dunno, it wouldn't bother me really, but that's just me.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Um...how old is she?

My ex and I would go back and forth with it all of the time. We'd be watching TV and he'd be all 'Wooo, (insert celeb here) is so fine'. I'd agree with him and I'd go on and on about some male celeb. We'd have fun with it so I dunno, it wouldn't bother me really, but that's just me.

Exactly what I used to do with an ex who used to do that. Women in our real life elicited the same response from me, that or silence. He was surprised at first that I didn't get all hyper about his admirations.

 

[chickle]

Not at all! As long as I was also getting compliments and he kept the compliments classy and respectable (No "dang look at that girls booty").

Its weird, I have seen women pissed when their guy opens the door for me or anything nice.

 

[Almaz]

My DH LOVES Sade. So what he is with me Sade is with somebody else

Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey she ain't messing with her BF

Sounds young and petty to me.

 

[locabouthair]

In that situation I wouldn't be mad. He didn't say anything that was bad. Just because you are with someone doesn't mean you think everyone else is unattractive.

My SO loves Beyonce and he knows I love me some Lamman Rucker lol..

 

[Lenee925]

Maybe she should make comments on another guy's body to him and stop playing into it. He don't care, so why should she?

 

[Kimberly]

sounds like she needed an excuse to seem annoyed...

 

[aribell]

I agree that he didn't have to be specific saying that she has a nice body. The gf probably feels insecure in comparison.

 

[AllAboutMoi]

That would not have annoyed me but I don't see the point in him telling her that.

 

[YankeeCandle]

A celebrity? Not at all! My SO even had a poster of Destiny's Child in his kitchen when I first met him. We often trade opinions about celebs.

Actually, what bothers me about the above is that he is clueless about celeb illusions. Once I said, "you know that Beyonce's hair is 99% of the time a wig, right?" and he was like "No that's not true; I don't believe you! Beyonce has thick, strong hair!"

And actually, when he compliments a real life woman in front of me, it's usually at leat an acquaintance of mine, and it's always in a very bouncy, cute way. He exclaims with delight: "That dress is very cute on you, indeed!"

But randomly eyeing a strange woman as we're walkin past her and nodding suavely at her while saying silkily, "Nice dress" ?? Um, no. I would look at him like he was crazy if he did it that way.

 

[Bmack]

Interesting, I think it was lame of him, but I got my husbands opinion, and he agreed. Why say that to her and what was the point of him saying it. I can see what you ladies mean too, but I did tell him he was corny for it.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

She's probably upset that her body doesnt look like that and she feels in competition or pressure to look a certain way.

 

[blkbeauty]

I agree that he didn't have to be specific saying that she has a nice body. The gf probably feels insecure in comparison.

Yup and also in comparison, what does she look like. Does she look opposite of Mariah Carey? The reason I asked because when my ex used to do this he always spoke of celebrities who were bi-racial like him. When DH and I first met (he's White), the only celebrities he mention that were "hot" were White. It wasn't after a while when we were deep into our dating that he comment on Black women and I was then cool with it.

So maybe there is something deeper to the reason she was annoyed.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Yup and also in comparison, what does she look like. Does she look opposite of Mariah Carey?

That's what I was thinknig . . . there's nothign wrong with admiring a celebrity from afar . . . but if this girl looks like Gabby Sidibe and he's talking about how fine Mariah Carey is, then I can see why she might be annoyed . . . or if it's a situation where dude is ONLY complimentary of other females (on tv or on the street) and never is complimentary of her . . . I can see how that would make her feel like he doesn't find her attractive (or at least not enough to comment on her looks).

Now if dude tells her she's pretty on the regular, then yeah, she's just insecure and being petty.

 

[kbragg]

I notice that the majority of the guys that did this mentioned in this thread are ex's...

I think it's kinda common sense not to even go there and OP's friend is a doh doh I mean I think if said dude were to mention this to his MALE friends, they'd be like "Dang man what you thinkin? Are you TRYING to get cut off?"

IMO it's kind of like a woman saying or agreeing to ANYTHING negative said about a man's mom....just somewhere you don't go

Example:

Dude: Man my moms is getting on my nerves!

GF: Yeah she is irritating...

3 weeks later....

Dude: See! I knew you never liked my mother!

 

[TinyBlu]

It wouldn't bother me at all personally. Just because a man is in a relationship doesn't make him blind. Celebrity or not, it has never bothered me if the man I was with commented on another woman's looks.

I have even gone as far as pointing out someone I KNOW my SO would find attractive so he doesn't have to curb his natural instinct to look ("Cutie Pie three o'clock!").

The truth of the matter is that he may be LOOKING at her, but he's going home with you. Let him look all he wants, then make sure he forgets what the woman looked like when you get home!!!!

One more thing... it goes both ways. Lord knows if I see a Mandinka warrior walk past me, I will check him out. It all comes down to security. Just because a man looks doesn't mean he's going to leave you for that person. In fact, if we (women) would stop sweating the small stuff, we might stay in relationships a little longer.... just a thought.

 

[Bmack]

Nah, his girl has a nice shape and is very pretty so...lachen:

 

[taj]

Absolutely not! I wouldn't care.

 

[JustKiya]

Uh, no. We compliment other people all the time! He even knows about my future husbands.

 

[Bachelorette]

She's probably upset that her body doesnt look like that and she feels in competition or pressure to look a certain way.

Unless he was referring to Tom Mottola's Mariah, i dont know why anyone would feel insecure about Mariah or her body.

 

[Bachelorette]

I notice that the majority of the guys that did this mentioned in this thread are ex's...

I think it's kinda common sense not to even go there and OP's friend is a doh doh I mean I think if said dude were to mention this to his MALE friends, they'd be like "Dang man what you thinkin? Are you TRYING to get cut off?"

IMO it's kind of like a woman saying or agreeing to ANYTHING negative said about a man's mom....just somewhere you don't go

Example:

Dude: Man my moms is getting on my nerves!

GF: Yeah she is irritating...

3 weeks later....

Dude: See! I knew you never liked my mother!

This comparison doesnt make sense to me

How are you comparing a person's mom to some trival celebrity crush?

 

[username12]

I guess she thought it was disrespectful, but men are visual and they are going to look

 

[Bachelorette]

women like to look too. sheesh

 

[kbragg]

This comparison doesnt make sense to me

How are you comparing a person's mom to some trival celebrity crush?

Not comparing the two people, just the two circumstances, meaning that most non ignant people knoooooow out of respect there's just some places you do not go (unless it's something already established as ok in your relationship of course) Most dudes kind of already know there are two women you don't talk about hot and sexy another woman is around, your woman and your mother

 

[Bachelorette]

men dating women with low self esteem maybe.

Mariah's the last person to make ME feel bad about myself

 

[weaveologist]

I wouldn't get mad. My SO compliments other women and it doesn't bother me. He enjoys being able to say things like that w/o getting the third degree and I enjoy his honesty. Its small things like "she looks nice", or "She is wearing that outfit". I'd rather him just say it than be sitting next to be PRETENDING like he isn't looking. I think he appreciates my security and willingness to let him be him.

 

[FlowerHair]

My ex and I used to comment on celebrities or other tv personalities all the time. No big deal. It would have been different if it was a co-worker or something. Not some unattainable star.

 

[song_of_serenity]

looking at the UPDATE thread:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=449790
I can see why she'd act the way she did...